


Love Me Again, Husband

by OblivionTime



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Identity Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 09:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 104,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13004352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OblivionTime/pseuds/OblivionTime
Summary: The Vow AU. A motorcycle accident leaves Soul missing years of his life, memories of how he met and fell in love with his wife, Maka Albarn. He's left trying to pick up the pieces of the life he doesn't remember with Maka by his side, but it isn't easy when his heart belongs to someone else and his memories don't fit in with his current lifestyle. It's a tug of war with the person he remembers and the person he had become. Resbang 2017





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The date is finally here! Here's my Resbang I wrote for this year! I had so much fun writing this fic and I hope you will enjoy this story of mine! ^-^
> 
> Check out Chaoticlivi's art for this fic! http://chaoticlivi.tumblr.com/post/168538884185/love-me-again-husband-soul-eater-resonance-bang

**Love Me Again, Husband**

_Chapter 1_

Maka leaned against the wall, eyes anxiously fluttering shut. The egg timer ticked loudly resonating within their apartment beside the box and the stick resting upon it. Soul paced back and forth in front of the box, hands entwined behind his head as he breathed heavily.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Maka breathed as she slid down the wall, nervousness shaking her world like never before by just this one moment, waiting for the results to arrive.

"Hey." Soul kneeled down in front of her and collected her hands in his, planting a kiss on her knuckles. "We haven't been trying for even a month."

"Yeah, but I've studied so much and we've put down so much work." She savoured his touch and rubbed the inside of his thumb with hers. "I just want to be pregnant."

"And you will be. If you're not pregnant now, you'll most definitely be pregnant the next month." He leaned in and his lips feathered over her neck, nuzzling and kissing and nibbling her delicate skin.

She giggled as her hands left his and snaked around his neck, finding his soft hair and entangling her fingers in it. Her eyes shut, enjoying the sensation of his teeth feathering over her skin before his lips would kiss it tenderly. His right hand softly caressed her side as it went down her ribcage and settled on her hip, his thumb running up and down her hipbone. Her legs parted and invited him, which he accepted.

The egg timer rung loudly throughout the apartment and Soul pulled away from her. Her eyes were wide once again and the tension in her muscles he had managed to break down, was stiff once again, even stiffer than before! This was the moment they had been waiting for! Pregnant or not pregnant! The answer had arrived.

"The moment of truth." Soul rose to his feet and grabbed the pregnancy test from the counter, hiding the result with the palm of his hand. He sat down beside Maka and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him and looked at the pregnancy test in his hand.

"Come on, show it," she urged.

"On three. One…"

"Two…" Maka leaning closer to the test.

"Three." They said together and he opened his hand.

Not Pregnant.

Her heart sunk in her chest with disappointment. The letters glaring at her sent a punch to her gut. Her head fell and she shook it slowly disapprovingly.

She had studied so hard and she had even downloaded an app on her phone to detect the highest possibility of getting pregnant. They had even tried out different positions which would raise the possibility of a pregnancy.

But it hadn't worked.

"What if I can have children?"

Soul snickered. Her head shot up and he quickly apologized. "We've just tried for a little over three weeks. I think we've to try a few months more before we can start considering _that_ possibility."

"But what if I should go and check on my eggs? Maybe they _are_ in a bad condition."

"I highly doubt they are with how healthy you've been. If someone's body is not up to standard, it's mine."

She stared at him with realization. "… could you get them check?"

He chuckled heartily.

"I'm serious! What if we aren't healthy?"

"Maka. We're 26. I don't think people have trouble conceiving around this age."

"But what if?" she pouted.

"I promise you, if you're not pregnant by next month, I'll definitely get a check up on my sperm."

A vague smile dawned on her face and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you," she sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I was so sure I was pregnant… my period _is_ late."

"You'll get pregnant. Just you see," he whispered into her ear.

She sighed with content as her eyes fluttered shut. She wasn't pregnant now, but he had a point. They had just started making babies. She quit taking the pill the same day they started trying to get pregnant so maybe it had made her ovulation a bit wacky.

Still… she really thought she was pregnant. The thought of caring their baby had made her glow with happiness. That was what they wanted. They were ready to start a family. Together. The reality of caring his child in her womb… it just made her feel lighter than air and limitless of happiness had run through her veins. When she bought the pregnancy test at the pharmacy, she really was _glowing_ , just wanting to see the test come out positive.

Some gut feeling she had.

Her hand wandered from his waist onto her lower belly, _her empty womb_ , running her thumb over the exposed skin peeking between her shorts and tank top. Her eyes snapped up to Soul's incredible soft crimson eyes when his hand laid above hers on her stomach.

"We'll make it."

She planted a kiss of gratitude on his lips. What would she do without him?

A wide mischievous smirk grew on his face, exposing his sharp teeth and his eyes darkened. "You know we've around an hour before work and we could both use a shower."

"Oh yeah?" She turned her body toward his and her fingertips ran downward his chest. "Then we better jump into the shower immediately." She gasped and giggled when Soul scooped her up in his arms and carried her inside of the bathroom.

…

Maka quickly jogged as fast as she could in her heels while carrying her bag in one hand and jiggling with her car keys in the other. Her phone buzzed and she juggled her things and she pulled up her phone, answering it.

"Where are you? The people are waiting for you!" her boss's voice boomed from the speaker.

"Sorry! I'm in the parking lot. I'll be up in just a minute! I've the updated power point on my laptop ready to go as soon as I get there."

"Good. Hurry up. They're starting to get cranky," Wes said before he hung up.

Ugh. If only he knew his infuriating brother decided an extra-long shower was in need (which she was reluctant to admit) especially when her mood had been more grey than normal.

The double door automatically opened and her heels clicked loudly against the marble floor. "Hi Tsubaki!" Maka quickly waved toward the receptionist as she hurried passed the front desk.

She sighed with relief when Mr. Buttataki his usual white dress shirt and vest entered an elevator. She quickly dived inside of it after him. "Good morning, Mr. Buttatki. How's your wife?" she greeted him as she pressed the floor button.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Albarn. Marie's a little tear-eyed at the moment. You know how it is when your child leaves for college."

"I see. Still calls him five times a day?"

"She has managed to limit it to two phone calls. Two _very_ long phone calls."

The elevator door opened and Maka quickly waved toward Mr. Buttataki. "Oh! And thank Marie for the book recommendation. It's a very interesting read." Um, the _pregnancy books_ she'd once recommended during a company party three months ago when children had come up in the conversation.

"Will do." He called after her as she raced down the corridor. The other employees greeted her as she struggled with pulling her laptop from her bag.

"Finally you're here!" Wes's voice resonated from the other side of the corridor. "What took you so long and why is your hair _wet_."

"Blame it on your brother," she quickly explained as she handed the laptop to him. "The power point presentation is on the desktop. I updated the diagram of the stock market for the technology funds on slide four and I fixed the pros and cons for the pension fund just like you asked."

"Great. Lady Arachne and Mr. Giriko are already seated in conference room four. Quickly dry your hair and come to the meeting."

"Yes boss."

They branched away and she hurried inside of the bathroom and dried her hair under the hand dryer, tied it up in a ponytail to make herself more presentable. She hurried back to the conference room.

…

"Good job in there." Wes patted her back as they exited the conference room. "I think we hooked them with our private pension saving funds. They were very interested in your points and I really think you managed to convince them."

"I think so too." Maka beamed.

"If this goes our way, I'm 100% confident I can hand you this case in your capable hands. The idea was yours after all and there's nothing you _can't_ do. It will be a lot of communication via email and phone calls and meetings for a year, but I know you can do it," Wes boasted.

They were a team since the beginning, even _before_ the beginning of her career in the business. In her second year of college, Wes had been a guest lecturer in her stock market strategies and let's just say, her enthusiasm of questioning and probing his strategies had made an impression on him. An interview later for one of the internship spots, she was officially _in_. She worked directly under Wes as his P.A. as she kept up her studied. It had been the greatest thing to ever happen her. It led her to skipping steps and jumping right on top in the stock market, and it brought her to the love of her life.

She could still remember the day so vividly. She had taken notes during a business meeting, analysing their thoughts and strategies to break into the medicine field to make profitable insurances that benefit both parties without leaving the customer in debt. Tsubaki had called the company phone, notifying his brother was waiting by the front desk with his wallet he had forgotten at home. Wes had asked her to fetch it, which she was on it immediately.

She had never believed in fairy stories or love at first sight, but when she exited the elevator and her eyes laid upon the handsome young man in jeans and a hoodie, _something_ happened within her. It wasn't like angels descended the sky and sang Hallelujah or every cell in her body heating up and turning to butterflies, but more like a bond was created. Admittedly, she was drawn to this handsome stranger with unusual white hair and the gorgeous red eyes she had ever seen. It was so strange. It was nothing like the one time she was crushing hard on her eighth grade classmate, but something tamer, but at the same time, _very_ powerful.

When she approached him and his attention was on her, and the husky voice of his asked "are you Wes's P.A?" left her stuttering out a "Y-yes."

That first meeting with Soul had her dawning thoughts of being in college around people dating and building lives had left her lunging to try _serious_ dating, had made her want to ask the strange but intriguing brother of Wes's out on a date.

That day, by Tsubaki's front desk is where _they_ started.

"Hello?" Wes waved his hand in front of her face.

"Oh! Sorry." She quickly apologized, feeling her checks heat up.

Wes grinned wide, a smile so similar to Soul's, but without the sharp teeth she loved scrapping against her skin so much. "Were you thinking about my kid bro?"

She quickly looked away from her partner and started walking down the corridor, clutching her bag in her hands. "I-it's not work related."

Wes was quick to follow after her. "It could be."

"Oh be quiet." She headed inside of her office and dumped her bag on the free chair and placed her laptop on her desk.

"Oh no I'm not." He closed the door to her office and sunk down into the chair in front of her desk, legs thrown over the armrest. "So tell me, when do you want to go on maternity leave?"

"Please, we're not even _trying_ to have a kid," she lied. There had been one person both her and Soul agreed not to tell about their baby making and it was Wes. The one time they had been caught heavily making out in her office by Wes, the next day he had handed her a large pack of condoms and told her to keep it in the office, _but_ only do the thing off office hours. She was afraid of what he would do if he found out they were trying to have children.

She gulped at the _too_ knowing grin on his face. "I'm not stupid. The reason you were late was because of Soul, you had wet hair and you might want to unpack the pregnancy book from your bag next time."

She gasped and slapped her hand against her forehead. Shit. She really had forgotten to take out the pregnancy book she had bought yesterday, hadn't she?

"So…?" Wes inched closer with a huge grin on his face. "Am I going to be an uncle in nine months or less?"

"That's between me and my husband." She finished the conversation and opened her laptop.

"Aw come on, I _am_ your brother-in-law _and_ your boss. That ought to get me into the circle of trust."

"Nope, and if you excuse me, I've stocks to analyse." Her eyes left her obnoxious brother-in-law to her screen.

"Fine." Wes rose from the chair. "But don't think this conversation is over. I take nieces and nephews _very_ seriously." Geez, she could've never imagined. The first thing he said to them after Soul and Maka said their "I will"s was will they start having kids. He would spoil the kids rotten if they gave him the chance!

She sighed with relief when the door shut behind Wes.

They were more entangled than boss and employee should be considering she married his brother, but it was nice. He was overbearing, stepping over so many boundaries and so caring. Soul was lucky to have such a caring brother in his life. It was all thanks to him she met Soul after all.

She pulled up her phone and unlocked it. Speaking of Soul, there was a text message from him.

_How about a lunch date? My treat_

She rolled her eyes. As if anything was hers or his anymore. She had a certificate from the state of Nevada to prove it.

 _Sure. Where do you want to meet?_ She texted back.

She received a message almost instantly she replied. Seemed like someone was slacking at work.

_I'll pick you up. Meet me in the lobby_

_Sounds good_. She placed her phone on her desk and a bright smile spread on her face.

…

When lunch arrived she headed down to the ground floor. As soon as the elevators opened, she saw Soul waiting by the front desk, just as handsome as ever. Every time she went down to the lobby to meet Soul, she couldn't help but think of how far they had come. From strangers to acquaintances, to good friends and then, to lovers. She didn't get the tingling in her fingers or the butterflies in her stomach from just seeing him anymore, but the strong bond and intimacy were stronger than ever.

"Hey you," she greeted him with a quick kiss.

"Geez, you took your time. Did Wes hold you up?" His hand entwined with hers like usual.

"Something like that considering, you know, since _someone_ made me late for work."

"I thought we had more time," he pouted.

She knew he hadn't done it intentionally. He knew very well about the game-changing meeting she had in the morning with the people from Arachnophobia. He wouldn't intentionally hold her up for her meeting. But he looked so cute when she teased him.

"Maka and Soul," Tsubaki spoke up from behind the front desk. She pulled up a flier from and handed it to them. Soul took it and she gazed at it with surprise, Maka peeked at the flier with joy.

"Black*Star's gym is opening up in two weeks? I'm so happy for you!" Maka exclaimed.

When he first started renting the space, she and Soul had checked it up and helped painting the place and getting it ready. She knew it was bound to open soon, but not _this_ soon.

"We worked really hard redecorating the bathrooms into locker rooms and all the gears have arrived, so we've finally put an opening date." Tsubaki smiled kindly. "You got to show up. Black*Star will hand out protein bars and shakes as snack, and he'll give everybody who sign up for a gym membership a 50% discount."

"We'll definitely show up," Soul said.

"I know he'll appreciate it." Tsubaki leaned against the front desk. "So, where are you two going?"

"Just out for lunch," Soul answered and started pulling her toward the exit. "Now if we want to actually eat during your lunch, we better leave."

"Just make sure to bring her back on time!"

"I'll see you later, Tsubaki." She waved toward her friend before they exited the building.

They went to Soul's bike parked in the parking lot. Soul released her hand and opened the compartment and pulled out Maka's helmet, handing it to her.

"Where are we going?" Maka asked. Usually they went to the nearby café where they had usually spent their first months lunching when they were just friends before they started dating.

"We're going to try out something new." Soul strapped his own helmet on his head and climbed on the bike. "Now jump on."

Maka made sure her helmet was tightly strapped on before she climbed on the bike behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. The engine roared to life and they took off.

Soul drove. Safely driving through the rush hour traffic. They were going further away than she thought, but fifteen minutes later they rolled up in a parking lot and he killed the engine. She took off her helmet and shook her damp hair, getting off the bike. She cocked her eye at the cursive neon pink letters spelling out Aphrodite.

"What's this kind of restaurant?" she asked.

"This," Soul got off the bike and took of his helmet, "is a restaurant and a store focusing on fertility and intimacy." Soul hung his helmet on the handle and grabbed hers, putting it back into the compartment. "Since you were so down this morning about the negative pregnancy test, I thought we could do something special."

A smile grew on her face as affection swelled within her heart. Seemingly always so aloof and unbothered, but always so considerate and caring behind the scene, this was the man she fell in love with.

"Aww." She entwined her hand with his and bumped her shoulder into his. "That's so sweet of you."

He squeezed her hand and smiled kindly back to her, saying _you're welcome_ with his soft red eyes.

They went hand in hand to the restaurant. Soul opened the door and held it open to them. Maka was immediately met by the smell of spices and cinnamon. The cashier counter was filled with baskets of beans, avocadoes, chili peppers, chocolate and honey. A smorgasbord of healthy and close produced products which reminded her of the farmer's market.

"We have a reservation," Soul said to older woman behind the counter.

"Name?" she asked.

"Soul Albarn."

She tapped on her touch screen and grabbed one menu. "This way." They followed her deeper in the restaurant and passed other couples seating close to each other as they share a plate of food. "Here's your table." She gestured with her hand toward a booth in the far back of the restaurant.

"Thank you," Maka slid into the booth, feeling the soft red leather under her thighs. Soul followed and sat close to her so their thighs were firmly pressed. His arm snaked around her waist and held her close to him.

"This seems really nice," Maka said.

"It does." Soul flipped the menu up with his free hand and they both gazed at the line of various dishes. Beside every dish there was a tip of how it would raise your sex drive or in their case, raise fertility. Most of the facts she had read in a book, but some of them were new to her.

The whole environment was very… intimate. The dim lit lights, the privacy of the U-shaped booth and the soft leather cushions. Only Soul knew how much she enjoyed the texture of leather, especially his leather jacket on her skin. The environment definitely made her feel closer to her husband. She didn't need to read the menu, the environment did enough to set the mood.

"So what will we have?" His voice was husky as he whispered into her ear.

"I think I might go with the nutty salad."

"We're sharing," He chuckled as he tapped toward the top of the menu where it said couples could order larger portions to share for the same price as an ordinary portion.

"Are we now? Then what will we have?"

Soul's finger slid down the page and pointed toward a dish. "We could take this one." It was a salmon dish with arugula, nuts and avocado. It came with whole wheat bread with olive oil and salted tomatoes and strawberries, vegan chocolate and whipped cream for dessert.

Salmon wasn't her thing, but the nutty salad side dish and the tomato sandwich did intrigue her and made her mouth water just looking at the fresh miniature picture of the dish. "The sandwich does sound delicious."

"Good. Then we're ready to order."

The older woman came back and took their orders and disappeared. The atmosphere and the moment was so special. _He_ was special. To arrange this whole thing just in a matter of hours when he had work to take care of, it touched her deeply. It really was about the small things in relationships that count.

She leaned her head to rest against his shoulder and he rested his on top. "So, what did you do today at work since you were so busy finding this place?"

"Nothing really. The business was slow today," he murmured as her hair tickled his face.

"Oh no, that's not good, Soul."

"It's the usual. I knew it would be hard starting a recording studio when the technology allows you to record just as good stuff at home."

"But you burn for these things. I just don't want to see your dreams go into the ditch."

"Hopefully it won't. Tomorrow I actually have a client to serve so that's good," he snickered. "Besides, if the record studio does go into the ditch, I could always become your personal assistant at work."

She blew a raspberry. "Oh we both know if Wes ever allowed that, he would take away my door and install CCTVs in my office."

"Nothing a shirt over the camera can't solve, am I right?"

The smugness just radiated from his voice. He sure was proud of the few times they managed to sneak around her work and hook up before they were caught.

The lunch arrived and the spices glistering on top of the salmon smelled so good. The lunch was even more delicious than it looked like. The bread mixing with the olive oil and the salted tomatoes made her moan out as it melted in her mouth. Mixing it with feeding each other and sharing a kiss or two made it all better.

When their plates were empty and their bellies full and satisfied, a new hunger had awakened within her, thirsting to get back into bed with her dear husband and start making babies once again. If only she could ditch work and spend some more time with Soul.

"You can go to the bike." Soul urged Maka. "I'll be right behind you."

She cast a quizzical eye at Soul standing by the check out, grinning at her.

"Okay." The door plinged as she exited the restaurant.

It didn't take long before Soul exited the shop and came jogging over to her. In his hand he held a basket full with vegetables peeking out on top of it.

"What's that you're holding?"

"Aphrodisiacs for tonight along with another surprise."

The humming heat only tightened at the word of it. "And what is it?"

"That's something you'll find out tonight. That's why it's a surprise, dork." He grinned smugly at her, just enjoying keeping it a secret from her.

"You know I don't like surprises."

"I know." His arms snaked around her waist as their bodies were pressed together. "But it will be worth it. It will be waiting for you at home."

"Are you trying to motivate me to blow off work?"

He chuckled and pushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. "No, I _do_ have some stuff I need to get done before you get home, but, motivating you not to work overtime, that, indeed I am."

"Consider it done. At six sharp, stud." She playfully smacked his bottom before she pulled away. He placed the basket on the ground and he opened the compartment, pulling out her helmet and handed it to her.

"Fuck!" he cursed loudly.

She jumped in shock and gazed at him. "What happened?"

"Someone stole my helmet." He ran his hand through his hair. "And it was brand new! It cost me 250$ too!"

"Hey, take it easy." She cupped his cheeks and steered his face to hers. "We'll get a new one. You can take my helmet."

He blew a raspberry as he enveloped her hands with his big strong ones. "Hell no. It's my own fault I didn't properly protect it. You take it." A wide grin spread on his face as he removed her hands, entwining them instead. "Besides, it would be way too big on my head. We all know how big your head is with that large brain of yours."

She playfully smacked his chest and grinned at him. "Or it's just you who have a pea for a brain."

He let out a short laugh before he climbed onto the bike, sliding further back on the bike than usual. After putting on and strapping on the helmet, she grabbed the basket and took a seat on the bike in front of him.

"Just drive safely, okay?"

"I will." The engine spun to life and he took off from the restaurant. He left the parking lot and drove extra slowly, using his blinkers at every turn and didn't take any chances when the traffic light turned orange.

They rolled up to a traffic stop. The engine hummed lowly as they waited for the light to turn green. She leaned into Soul, feeling his chest warm against her back and his warm breath tickling her neck.

Marriage was all about the small moments.

The traffic light turned orange and Soul slowly put a little gas, slowly starting to roll forward. It turned green and cautiously he started to roll forward.

A shrieking sound pierced the air and before she knew it, the bike lurched forward and they were both flying through the air. She crashed on the road with the basket full of aphrodisiacs scattered on the asphalt.

…

"Soul?" Maka murmured as consciousness started to return to her. "Where are you?" Her eyes drifted from the white ceiling until she found, Black*Star, Wes and Tsubaki by her bed.

They had been driving back to her work after a romantic lunch together. They had been by the stop light when they had been rear-ended.

Soul hadn't worn a helmet.

"Soul." She started to sit up in her bed but a sharp pain in her shoulder had her crash back on the soft mattress. "Where's my husband?"

"Take it easy." Black*Star said in a hushed tone, carefully holding her down by her other shoulder, which surprisingly didn't hurt. "You're hurt, you need to rest―"

"Where is Soul!" she roared.

"He's…" Wes cut himself off, looking the other way as he took a deep breath. "He's in surgery."

Her stomach fell as her throat started to knot with sorrow. "He's… he's going to be alright, right? Right!"

Wes ran his hand through his hair, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know."

Tears started streaming down her cheeks as sobs echoed within the hospital. "No… no! He― he can't… he just can't!"

"The doctor will inform us as soon as the surgery is over," Tsubaki said.

Tears were endless. Streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed loudly, not a care in the world who heard her. Black*Star's hand comfortingly rubbing her shoulder was so unknown, all she wanted was his fingers to grow longer and slimmer into the elegant and beautiful piano fingers of her husband. All she wanted was Soul― she _needed_ him.

…

"Mrs. Albarn?" A man waltzed inside of the hospital room wearing green scrubs as if he had just come out from the surgery.

Her voice broke before even a word had come out of her mouth, instead she settled on a nod.

"I'm Frank. Frank Stein. I'm Soul's doctor." The man's gaze moved to Tsubaki, Black*Star and Wes. "May we have a moment alone?"

"We'll be right back." Black*Star gave her one last comforting squeeze on her hand before him and Tsubaki exited the hospital room.

"I'm Soul's brother. I'm staying." Wes said with determination.

"Very well." The Frank closed the door behind Tsubaki and Black*Star. "The good news is he's alive."

Maka let out a sigh of relief. He was alive.

"What's the bad news?" Wes asked.

"The bad news is he's in the ICU. He's suffering from severe brain trauma. In order for him to get better we'll put him into a comatose state so his system can calm down and allow the swelling to subside while his body is given time to heal, but other than that, he's very lucky. If it weren't for your body shielding his and slowing him down, he would've one-hundred percent been brain dead before paramedics even arrived at the scene."

"Does that mean…" her voice cracked. "He's… he's going to be okay?"

"I don't know about that. Brain trauma is very complex and nothing is normal when it comes to the brain. We'll just have to see when he wakes up."

"But he's going to survive?" Wes asked.

"He's stable at the moment and his survival rates look good."

"Thank death." Her eyes fluttered shut and new tears trickled down her cheeks. He was going to be okay.

A smile played on Wes's lips and he leaned on the bedframe on the hospital bed. "That's good news. That's… really good news."

Frank grabbed her journal from the bed and started to flip through the pages. "Speaking of even better news. Your shoulder just needs some rest and then you've just a couple of stitches and bruises. You'll be up on your feet before you know it."

She didn't care about that. All she cared about was Soul. His well-being came first.

…

"Mr. Albarn is in room four. Take right and you'll find the room to your left," the nurse by the desk informed.

Maka quickly hurried down the corridor, following the nurse's instruction. Room four was within her reach and she busted into the room. Her heart sunk when she laid her eyes on her beloved husband in the hospital bed. Eyes peacefully shut as if he was lying in their bedroom sleeping like usual and not in a hospital. A tube came out form his mouth and connected to a machine, slowly pumping in oxygen in his body. The side of his head was shaved and a newly stitched scar spread on his temple.

"Oh Soul," she sighed and grabbed a chair, pulling it toward his bedside. She watched out for the catheter on the back of his hand as she entwined her fingers with his. "I'm so sorry," she murmured.

If only she had suggested taking a cab back to the office instead, maybe then the speeding car wouldn't have rear-ended them. Soul wouldn't have gotten hurt the way he did. There were so many options to how they could've avoided the accident. There were different routes, different vehicle, heck, she could've just called Wes saying his bike had broken down or something.

But they had taken the wrong route, the wrong vehicle and at the wrong time.

She lifted his hand and planted a kiss on his hand.

Whatever happened, she promised to herself, she would stay by his side. It didn't matter if he was paralyzed, suffering from chronic pain or had to go in and out of the hospital every week, she would be there for him. They would get through this. Together.

"I met Doctor Frank. He gave me his belongings." Wes spoke, holing a plastic bag as he stood by the door frame. "He said his swelling has gone down and they're going to wake him up from his coma tomorrow."

"That's good." She whipped her tear-stained cheeks. "That's really good news."

Wes went over to her and placed the plastic bag in her lap. "I went through his stuff. Sorry."

"It's okay." Her shoulders shook with sorrow as her hand squeezed Soul's. "I'm sure Soul would complain about it, but he would be okay with it."

Wes's warm hand soothingly rubbed her back. "He's going to be able to say that himself once he wakes up." He pointed toward the white plastic bag in her lap. "I don't want to tear open any wounds, but I think it would be useful for you to go through his stuff."

Tear open any wounds? Her wounds were already gaping wide open, gushing blood and unattended. She was already hurting more than if she was the one in the hospital bed.

Maka looked over her shoulder at Wes whose eyes were transfixed on the bag. "I'll give you a moment." He patted her shoulder before he left the hospital room.

Nervousness started knotting in her stomach and she looked at the plastic bag in her lap. "What did you have on you?" she whispered to Soul.

She pulled her hand away from his and opened up the plastic bag. Right at the top was a tiny zip lock bag with his phone, wallet and― his wedding ring. She pulled out the simple silver band from the zip lock bag and she slipped on the ring on his left ring fingers. The plastic bag rustled as she went through his things. His bloody and ripped clothes were in the bag, everything familiar was there. She raised her eyebrow when she lifted his favourite leather jacket which was now torn up and bloody, something white was poking out from within it.

She pulled it out from the inside pocket and it proved to be a piece of paper. The edges were bloody, but it was still in a good shape. She straightened out the paper and it proved to be a medical report of… of―

She slapped her hand over her mouth and tears brimmed in her eyes.

It was a report of his sperm count dated the day of the accident and the word _healthy and active sperm_ rung in her mind.

Emotions overflowed her and he buried her head in his side, holding onto his hand. He did this for her. He knew her fear was somewhat irrational, but he had taken the time to book an appointment to prove to her he was healthy, all they needed was to keep on trying.

Only one of the many reasons she loved him.

"You better wake up alive and well," she sobbed and squeezed his hand tightly as she buried her face in his warm side, feeling his familiar warmth hidden underneath the hospital gown and the blanket. "You hear me, you can't leave me now. Just be okay. Please be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

Bleep… bleep… bleep… bleep.

The constant bleeping was the only thing he could focus on in the dark void he drifted in. The calm and regular bleeping made the time pass by within the darkness. It was soothing.

Bleep… bleep… bleep.

Relaxed. That was what he was. No weights were attached to him, just easy and zero gravity.

He almost jumped when the darkness around him suddenly started clearing. The light was blinding. He wished to block it out, but found his arm suddenly weighed more than before. As much as he tried to lift his arm, he couldn't move it. It was too heavy.

A groan left his lips and the light around him took shapes. He found himself staring at a white ceiling before his gaze wandered down, finding three figures in front of him.

"It's so good to see you." The unknown blonde woman standing by his brother spoke.

"You've no clue of how long we've been waiting for you to wake up, man." Wes said, smiling wide at him.

"Soul," a man wearing a white robe spoke up. "You're in the hospital. You were in a motorcycle accident."

A motorcycle accident? He couldn't recall hitting a motorcycle. Last thing he remembered… it was… what was it?

"Did I..:" his voice hoarser than he expected. "… did I hit him?"

"No you didn't. You were rear-ended by a traffic light," the blonde woman explained.

Now he got it. She was dressed quite informally in her hoodie and leggings for someone of her profession.

"Did you…" he breathed heavily. "… did you get him?"

The woman raised her eyebrow questioningly at him. "What do you mean?"

His eyelids were heavy with fatigue or the drugs they might've given him while he was passed out. "You know… get him in court. You're my lawyer, right?"

Wes's eyes widened and he turned to the woman next to him. Her face paled as if she'd seen a ghost. She suddenly grabbed the frame of the bed and supported herself on it as if she had tripped.

"Maka." Wes grabbed a hold of her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"I- I need to sit down." Wes helpfully guided her to the chair by his side as she rubbed her hand over her chest.

"Say you're kidding, Soul. You do know who she is," Wes said firmly as he glared at him, rubbing the woman's back.

"She's my lawyer, right?" he repeated.

"Stop messing around, damn it!" Wes hollered. He flinched at his brother's booming voice and unreasonable rage. Wes never got angry. Not like this without a reason. Certainly not to this degree. And why was she even supposed to know her? He didn't remember meeting her and her face didn't ring a bell.

"Mr. Evans keep your voice down. This is a hospital and if you're unable to comply I'll have to excuse you." The man who had to be his doctor said.

The woman's eyes turned glossy and she looked toward the side as she kept on rubbing her chest almost as if she's hurt herself. "Just stop." It was barely a whisper, but his brother cooled down and lowered his gaze in shame. "Soul," she turned her head toward him, staring at him with tears going down her cheeks. "I'm not your lawyer."

Now it was his time to get confused.

She raised her left hand and on her ring finger were one simple silver band and a princess-cut engagement ring with diamonds decorating the band. A knot in his stomach formed before she even opened her mouth. "I'm your wife."

He had a wife? He had never even met this woman! This couldn't be possible! He couldn't remember going to Death Vegas and getting drunk and marrying some girl! This― this just wasn't possible!

He felt sick to the core. Bile turned in his stomach and the world around him spun like no other.

"Hey! Hey! Soul, calm down." Wes spoke through the haze of dizziness and the throbbing of his racing heart in his ears. He clutched his chest as he breathed heavily. Shit. He was sweating. Drowning in his sweat and body beaming with heat. Had the room turned into a freaking sauna?

"Soul, I'm here." A pair of tiny hands cupped his face and steered his gaze to the woman's green eyes. "Listen to me, you're having an anxiety attack. Focus on me and name five things you―"

"Get away from me." He pushed her away.

A pressure on his nose and mouth was added and wind travelled into his mouth. He clutched onto the object and breathed heavily, finding the tingling in his fingers reducing and the beating of his heart slowing down. Before he knew it, he was relaxed.

What even was that?

"This took an interesting turn." The man in the white robe spoke as he stood beside him a metal cylinder which the tube to his mask was attached to. "Soul, we will give you a moment to take all of this in. I'll have a nurse come by and check on you. Mr. Evans and Mrs. Albarn, we'll talk outside."

The woman wiped a tear from her cheek before she exited the room in a hurry with his brother close behind her.

The doctor gestured toward his mouth. "Breathe into it until you feel better. Then you can call on a nurse using the red button on the night stand." Before the door even clicked shut the shouting from the woman began.

…

He was wearing a ring. _A wedding ring_. A simple silver band. It was nothing like his father's white gold wedding band. It was _cheap_. He imagined when he got married, he would get something fancier and not a simple _silver_ ring.

Not to mention the woman he married. Who the heck had he even married? He certainly doesn't remember meeting her. She couldn't be a friend of the family. If she was, he should've seen her at one of the many dinner parties his parents enjoyed throwing. Perhaps a classmate in law school? The class had been huge. She could've been one of the many people.

Why had he even married her? What had happened to Anya? He remembered being in a relationship with her. In, what he thought was a stable relationship which would last forever. Their parents were close and they got along well. He adored her much and engagement had been on his mind when they went off to the same collage and rented an apartment together. He was ready to share the rest of his life with her.

What had happened?

He couldn't even recall what happened with them, how he got to this place and, _a motorcycle accident?_ He wouldn't even get on a motorcycle. His mother would kill him if he even went close to one with the mortality rate in motorcycle accidents. He could barely even recognize himself in his behaviour.

Who even was he anymore?

A knock on the door and it cracked open, revealing Wes. "Hey bro." He entered and closed the door behind him.

"Hey," he answered.

"How are you feeling?" Wes took a seat on the chair by his bed.

"Good." But was he really? He was in the hospital for a reason.

"Good." Wes nodded approvingly. "That's really good."

Silence stretched between them. So many questions drifted in his mind and he didn't know where to start. Everything seemed so… different.

But his brother was the first one to break the silence. "I sent Maka back home."

"Who?"

"Your wife. Her name is Maka Albarn."

Maka Albarn. The name didn't ring any bells either.

Wes leaned forward and rested his elbows on the mattress. "No fooling around now, Soul. I'm dead serious. Tell me the truth. Do you _really_ not remember Maka?"

"I've no clue who she is."

Wes lowered his head for a moment in defeat before he looked back at Soul, wearing a smile faker than plastic. "Okay." He nodded. "Okay. Now we know for sure."

"What even happened?"

"With Maka? Doctor Frank sent her home and let me fill you in on what have happened. As you might imagine, she's quite devastated at the―"

Soul shook his head. "Not about her. He said I was in a motorcycle accident. Why would I be on a motorcycle?"

"Oh." Disappointment dripped from the one syllable. "From what I know, you took Maka out on a lunch date and when you would head back, your helmet got stolen, but you decided to drive anyway. By a traffic light, a car rear-ended you and you hit your head quite hard on the concrete. The doctor also told me Maka saved your life by sitting in front of you. Her body shielded you from what they knew was certain death."

So he had been the one to drive. "Do I even have a license to drive the thing?"

Wes nodded. "Yes. You own your own bike too. Maka took it to get it repaired so it would be fixed when you got out. You love that bike a lot."

"Since when did I even become a biker?"

"You were taking your license when you met Maka."

"What age is that?"

"Nineteen."

Nineteen. Then he was a sophomore in college. How could he even think about getting a motorcycle license? He didn't have time for that in his first months of college, so how could he even manage to study law and take a license at the same time? Unless…

"Let me guess," Soul laughed drily. "I don't have a law degree?"

"Spot on."

His lips tightened and he acknowledged the fact. Wasn't he supposed to join his father's company and become one of the company's lawyers? They were both supposed to work in their father's company, but when Wes started his own, he was still supposed to work at their father's company.

"Why?" he voiced.

"You changed your mind."

Soul snorted. "I changed my mind?"

"You changed your mind," Wes confirmed.

Changed. That seemed to be the explanation for everything. His whole life had changed. He married some girl he didn't know, he drove around on bikes _without a helmet_ and he quit law school just because he 'changed his mind'. Nobody changed their mind on law school. His future was perfectly set up for him to follow in his family's successful footsteps. And he 'changed his mind'. It was ridiculous!

"But you do have a bachelor's in music specialising in the piano."

"What?"

"You've a bachelor's in―"

"I heard what you said," he said a little too harshly for his liking.

So he quit a career in law and instead he wanted to study _music_. Last time he even touched a piano was in sophomore year in high school, and then it had only been a hobby. Never in his wildest dream could he picture himself actually trying to make a living on a degree in music.

"You own a recording studio. You make your living recording band's songs," Wes added.

"So I'm working in a dying field."

"I wouldn't call it a dying field." Wes shook his head. "It's more like… you're competing with the modern digital choices. But there are still people going to your studio to get their things recorded."

"But I can barely afford the bills, right?"

"You're not the main breadwinner if I say so." Wes patted his shoulder and smiled wide toward him. "But you married really well. Maka has a master's in business analytics and she's my partner in my company. She's hard-working and a great stock analyst. She has a heart of gold and let me tell you, your love is strong and unlike any other relationship."

So he wasn't even contributing to anything. He ran a recording studio that didn't even bring in any money. What had even happened to chasing success and following in his family's footsteps? He really had changed in the past years.

Soul massaged the bridge of his nose. "What year even is it?"

"2017. You're twenty-six."

Wow. Twenty-six? It felt like yesterday he was eighteen and packing up to go to college with Anya. When he had moved his and her stuff into their shared apartment and went shopping for their literature to the courses. Now he was broke with a shitty career and a wife he didn't know.

"How about you rest?" Wes rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "It has been a long day and a lot to take in."

Soul's tingling fingers tightened on the sheet and he nodded slowly. "Yeah. Probably a good idea."

"Good." Wes stood on the spot for a while, words visibly rolling around in his mouth. "I-I'll return tomorrow. I'll take some time off tomorrow and I can bring Maka too."

"Can you bring mom and dad?"

"Mother and father?" Wes's eyes bulged as his voice rose in volume.

Soul raised his eyebrow, not expecting his reaction. "What?"

"N-nothing." Wes shook his head, his blonde hair whipping his face. "I'll bring mother and father too."

A smile stretched on Soul's lips. Now he could finally relax.

…

It didn't work.

She stirred the spoon in the black liquid in her paper cup. It did nothing to warm her numb body.

He didn't remember her. He didn't remember her at all. Worse yet, he got an anxiety attack when he learned he was married to her. She was a stranger to him once again. She… oh fuck. She didn't know how to handle this.

Doctor Frank told her he would be _okay_. This wasn't okay. This wasn't okay at all. He had lost _years_ of his life. This affected his life a lot. How in the world would she handle this? The love of her life was within her reach, she was able to touch him, but he wasn't _him_. Soul… her beloved Soul, he didn't know her so… how could he love her?

Tears ran down her cheek and she wiped them away.

The chair in front of her was loudly pulled back. "Didn't I tell you to go home?" Wes said as he took a seat in front of her.

She couldn't. Just the few minutes spent in the hospital room when he woke up was so much to take in. The reality that he didn't remember her was enough to have her world come crumbling down. She couldn't leave. She wanted to be there for Soul, but she didn't know _how_. She tried to help him through his anxiety attack but… but he pushed her away. His hand might as well been a knife when he shoved her away since it inflicted the same wound in her heart.

"How is he?" she asked.

"Overwhelmed. I gave him a basic rundown of his life and he started getting anxiety at the ending of our conversation." Wes grabbed the coffee cup from her hands and grimaced at it. "It's ice cold. You didn't even touch it."

"You can have it." She looked up at her brother-in-law, or was he just her boss now? She didn't know anymore. "Is it really true he doesn't remember me at all?"

The little happiness that was on Wes's face was sucked out. He shook his head slowly. "I made a lot of hints at you and talked as much as I could about you, but he showed no interest or any signs of remembering anything about you."

"I see." She buried her face in her hands and wiped away new tears escaping her eyes.

"But this is actually good. He's not paralyzed or anything like that. The doctor did say he could start gaining his memories back. He said the mind is complex and unpredictable. Who knows, tomorrow he might remember everything about you."

"I don't know." Her hands slid down to her chin, leaving behind smudges of tears. "What if he doesn't remember me? I mean, am I even _married_ to him now?"

"Of course you're still married to him. Just because he doesn't remember you doesn't mean you're a stranger to him. You're still his wife and if he won't remember you, there's only one choice left."

"What's that?"

A wide smile grew on his face. "You'll just have to make him fall in love with you again."

Make him fall in love with her all over again? It had been difficult the first time, but he had fallen in love with her. He still was the love of her life, stranger or not, he was her life partner. She meant when she said she would be there in sickness or health, oblivion or consciousness, she would help him find his way back home. Back to her. She loved him and she knew he did too. Deep down, there had to be fragments of their love.

There was no other choice, she would make him fall in love with her all over again.

"Yeah." She nodded feeling more determined and better than before. "He's going to fall in love with me again."

…

Before he even finished eating his breakfast the hospital served, a rap on the door and Wes and the woman entered his room.

"Good morning, brother." Wes chipped cheerfully as he slouched down in one of the chairs by his bed. "I take it you slept okay?"

Actually, no. Everything he knew was wrong. His entire world had changed into a disaster. He didn't even know who he was anymore and it had kept him up the whole night. He was Soul Evans, but he couldn't even name anything he remembered that fit with Wes's description of who he was. His chest ached and he spent most of the night rubbing his chest in a poor attempt at soothing it.

Now he had even brought… _her_ with him.

"I brought your favourite breakfast," she said as she held a brown paper bag toward him. "I thought it would be better than the food the hospital offers."

"That's really thoughtful of you, Maka," Wes praised her.

"Um, thank you," Soul said as he hesitantly accepted the brown bag.

He couldn't lie, but the sound of scrambled eggs and bacon made his mouth water. The hospital had offered some tasteless porridge with a pack of a watered down version of orange juice. Having some real food would definitely help him in this situation.

The brown paper bag rustled as he pulled out the containment and to his disappointment was a sandwich. Slowly he opened up the whole wheat bread slices and found lettuce, tomatoes, cold salmon and some white sauce. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of dill and put the sandwich back on the bag.

"What's wrong?" the woman asked looking too concerned for comfort.

"I'm not that hungry," he answered, avoiding eye contact with her.

"Let me guess," Wes breathed as he ran his hand through his hair. "Smoked salmon sandwich isn't your favourite, right?"

Soul nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the woman was quick to apologize. "What is your favourite breakfast? I'll make sure to bring it tomorrow."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay with eating the hospital food." He couldn't look at her. Her gaze irked him in the wrong way. It was… _really creepy_ looking at her and her eyes just looking at him with so many emotions. He could see concern, worry and― he didn't even want to think about the passionate L-word.

"No, no, no, hold on, bro." Wes took down his shoes from the bedframe and moved close to him. "It's a really generous offer. You know it's rude to turn it down."

"I guess," he reluctantly admitted.

Wes grinned wide as he gently nudged his shoulder with his elbow. "Now come on, out with it. What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?"

His lips tensed. He hated his brother for pushing him toward her like this. "… scrambled eggs with bacon."

"I'll get it for you tomorrow." Even her voice irked him the wrong way! Smooth and carried so much affection he didn't want to be toward him. Why couldn't she be Wes's wife or something!

Wes slowly nodded. "You know what we should do? Let's go out to the hospital's garden. You've been lying around way too much and you could use some fresh air."

Soul grimaced, but he had no choice. Wes started pulling at his arm into a sitting position. He rolled his eyes and before he knew it, he was up on his feet out of the bed. He latched onto Wes when his knees buckled under his weight.

"Wow, easy there," Wes snickered as he held onto Soul.

"Would you want to sit in a wheelchair?" the woman questioned behind him. "I could go and get one."

"Just give me a minute." It just hit him. "Actually, I could use one."

"I'll return shortly," the woman exited the room quickly.

Once they were alone he spoke. "Why did you have to bring her?"

Wes raised his eyebrow quizzically as he held onto Soul. " _I_ didn't bring her. She's here on her own free will. She is your wife after all."

"She's not my wife."

"She is. Believe me, I was there as your witness when you got married."

"She's _not_ my wife," he sneered at his brother. "I don't even _know_ her."

"You do know her. You just forgot all the years you knew her." Wes pulled him close to him and glared at him intensely. "Maka and I remember your relationship with her. Trust me when I say you love her immensely and you would do anything for her. Just because you don't remember her right now doesn't mean your marriage is less real than it was before the accident."

He clenched his jaw. He didn't _want_ to be around her. She creeped him out with all the strong emotions toward him.

"Tell me Soul, _why_ don't you want to be around her?"

Soul looked away from his brother's analysing gaze. "It's… the way she looks."

"Her appearance? I know she's a beauty but―"

"It's not _that_." Soul backed away from his brother on his al dente noodle legs. "The way she looks at me. She looks at me with this intensity. It's… it really makes me uncomfortable."

"Of course she looks at you with intensity. She's genuinely concerned about your health and she cares about you a lot. You're her husband."

He couldn't wrap his mind around that. How he could move on from Anya when their relationship was in its prime and here he was with some other woman he didn't know. This whole situation was scaring him out more than anything. This… everything was so different.

"Let's just go outside already."

The woman entered the hospital room pushing a wheelchair inside. "I found one."

On unsteady legs, he went over to the wheelchair and took a seat. The woman rolled him out of the hospital room and out of the hospital ward. After what felt like rolling through corridors and corridors, they were finally out of the hospital and in some kind of courtyard with flowers, roses, ponds and benches.

"There's a nice spot." Wes pointed toward a bench right in front of a small pond where ducks and geese were peacefully floating around. The woman rolled him toward the bench and parked him right by it as she and Wes took a seat on it.

Wes wrapped his arms behind his head and sighed with content. "This is nice. Really nice."

It actually was. The hospital room was stiff and dark. It really was refreshing sitting outside and feel the warmth of the sun and the fresh and crisp air. He closed his eyes as the wind caressed his abnormally long hair flickering in the wind.

"This must be relaxing for you," the woman spoke.

"Hmm," he answered without opening his eyes.

"A beautiful sunny day in Death City indeed."

His eyes suddenly snapped open and he stared at his brother. "We're in _Death City_."

"Yeah, you moved here to attend University of Death City when you dropped out of law school," Wes explained as if it wasn't a big deal at all.

He buried his face in his hands, feeling his fingers staring to tingle.

"Calm down." A large hand comfortingly rubbed on his back. "Do you want your meds?"

"W-what?" he panted as his fingers dug into his skin.

"Your anxiety medication. I talked to Stein and it's okay to combine with your painkillers," the woman said from the other side of Wes.

"No." He shook his head, breathing heavily. "I-I'm just a little… out of breath."

"Just breathe, bro." Wes soothingly said as he kept on rubbing his back. "Slow and easy."

He followed Wes's instructions as he focused on the slow strokes of his hand on his back, feeling every individual finger running over his shoulder blade. Soon he found the tension in his muscles relaxing and the tingling in his fingers disappearing.

"You feeling better?" Wes asked.

Soul nodded, keeping his head between his legs as he breathed slowly.

So… Death City. He wasn't in Los Angeles where he studied to become a lawyer. He remembered his brother had moved to Death City where he started his company. It made more sense now how his brother could leave late in the evening and return early in the morning. It was because he was in Death City.

A typical ringtone rang in the air and Soul sat straight up, finding Wes pulling out his phone from his pocket. "Damn it." He stood up from his seat and Soul's eyes bulged out with surprise.

"Wes." Soul growled. "Don't."

"I have to take this," Wes excused himself and wandered off when he answered his phone.

Soul tensed as he was left alone with the woman for the first time. His hands gripped his pants and he cursed mentally at his brother for abandoning him with _her_. His stomach lurched when he saw her from the corner of his eye scooting over to Wes's abandoned set right beside him.

"I know you don't remember me anymore, but my name is Maka Albarn. I'm your wife."

He could feel her hot burning gaze on him and it sent chills down his spine. "Um, I'm Soul."

He'd no clue how to even talk to her. It was so surreal. He didn't even _know_ her. He couldn't just jump into the… the partner role and pretend like he didn't miss Anya. He couldn't do that.

"It's nice to meet you." Her much smaller and warm hand placed on his resting on the wheelchair's armrest. He gulped and pulled his hand away from hers.

Why couldn't someone have written a book about _how to handle a stranger who is also your wife_? There were plenty of drunken random marriages happening in Death Vegas, _someone_ should've thought about writing a book on how to handle this situation. He had no interest at even being married to this woman and she certainly was _really_ into him. This… this was just too much for him.

"I know this must be really weird and new for you. Waking up and not remembering years of your life and finding out you're married to someone you don't know." She turned fully toward him and their knees almost brushed. "But I want you to know the years I spent with you were the best ones in my life, and I'm positive it was for you too."

"What is it you want?" he asked as he kept his gaze fixed on the geese swimming in the pond. He was not going to look at her.

"I want you to come home with me." He looked at her. Her eyes were less hot with strong emotions more like… determination? "Tomorrow you're going to get discharged from the hospital. I want you to come home with me. Back to our life together."

"Why would I do that? I don't know you."

"Because we're married and we live together."

"People get married for all kinds of different reasons."

"Oh really? Like what?"

"Like reduced taxes or a green card."

A small smile spread on her face. "I'm born and raised in Death City."

"You get what I mean."

"But we are in love. You loved me just as much as I love you. We got married because we love each other and we want to spend our lives together."

"How do I know that?"

The syllable in her mouth disappeared and she closed her mouth. She reached for him and her fingertips brushed against his forearm. "I know I don't have any evidence with me other than my love for you, but please, promise me you will stay open to the idea. I'll bring evidence to you as soon as possible."

His eyes drifted to her cautious fingertips touching his skin before he looked up, into her pleading eyes. "I'm not promising anything," he sighed. "But I guess, I will at least look at your evidence."

A wide smile spread on her face and she gave his arm a quick squeeze before her hand slithered away. "Thank you."

"Well," Wes exhaled loudly as he returned to them, pocketing his phone and took a seat by Maka. "Can I talk to you in private?"

The woman gazed toward him as if she wanted his permission. He rolled his eyes. "You can go," he said.

"I'll be back." His fingers feathered over his forearm before she stood up on the bench. Wes and Maka went away from her.

…

"What is it?" Maka asked Wes when they rounded a bush.

"That was Lady Arachne. They are willing to invest in your idea." Wes dropped the bomb, resting his hands on his hips as he looked down at his shoes.

"W-what?" Maka stuttered. Happiness overwhelmed her and she laughed happily. This was great! Her first real project she started from scratch on her own, it was finally becoming a reality!

Her laughter died off and the happiness knotted in her stomach. But Soul. This project, she knew it would take time for her project to really take off now when she found an investor. Time she simply didn't have to put on this. Soul needed her more than ever, and she needed him too.

Her marriage was on thin ice and he had explicitly expressed he wasn't interested in her. She heard him and Wes talk. At least the ending of it. He didn't want her and found her unsettling because of her feelings toward him. She didn't want him to be uncomfortable around her. She loved him and she had tried to hold back her feelings, but it was hard. All she wanted was to throw herself at him, run her fingers through his hair and kiss him till she was out of breath, making him promise her to never get hurt like that again.

But she couldn't.

She loved him so much and she desperately needed to make him fall in love with her again. Her project was important to her, but Soul was more important.

But this was an amazing opportunity for her. They were still drowning in student loans and now hefty medical bills would soon come in. Not to forget Soul's recording studio. When Soul was feeling better and wanted to return to work, she had to make sure it stayed above water. She needed the extra money from this project.

She had no choice. She had to be able to juggle both her work and helping Soul out.

Her lips tightened and she stressfully clenched and unclenched her hand. "What are the terms?"

"They are what we discussed, constant communication. They'll be watching you like a hawk how the funds you chose will generate money for us and for the customers." Wes lifted his gaze and grabbed her shoulders. "Since this is your first project, this will either make or break your career. If this goes well, you'll get investors' attentions and be able to start more projects, if not, I think you know how it would end."

She did. It could mean she wouldn't be able to get any projects through. It would mean she would be stuck by her desk and helping Wes get his projects through, but not successfully getting hers through. Her career wouldn't grow anymore if her project failed.

"So what will you do? You can tell them your circumstance and tell them you aren't looking for any investors at the moment instead of losing your reputation and hard work."

Maka shook her head slowly. "I can't back out of this now. They have agreed and I can't disappoint them now. I really need the money from this project."

"I know it must be hard to deal with all the bills, but I can help you and pay for the hospital bill."

She shook her head. "No. I can't ask you to do that." She braced herself and offered a short smile. "He's my husband. He's my responsibility. It's just a little bit rough at the moment, but I can handle it."

"If you say so. The offer is always on the table." He offered an encouraging smile and squeezed her shoulder before he let her go. "If you're going to work on this project, you need to get back to the company. Arachne wants to sign the contract."

"Now?"

"Now."

"But what about Soul? I can't just leave him now."

"Don't worry about him. Our parents will arrive around noon to take care of him."

Maka's eyes fluttered with confusion. "His parents? He hasn't talked to them in _years_."

Wes nodded. "I know, but he asked me to get them here. I can't just tell him he's not talking to them and keep them away from him when he wants to see them."

"Okay," Maka breathed. "So I'm going to officially meet his parents too."

Wes patted her on her back. "You gotta dress to impress. Our folks are… picky."

"No kidding."

"Come on, we better return to Soul."

Maka nodded.

Meeting the parents, huh.

…

"My poor little boy!" His mother rushed over to him and launched toward him the moment she saw him. She threw her arms around his head and hugged him tightly.

Soul hugged his mother and rejoiced in the feeling of her embrace. Over his shoulder he saw his father joining right behind her and smiled softly toward him. "Mother, father,"

"Hi son." His father greeted as he placed his hand on his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

His mother pulled away but her hands remained on his shoulders. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Good. The doctor said my health is good except for the memory loss."

"That's great honey." His mother beamed and rubbed his shoulder. "When will the doctor discharge you?"

"Tomorrow," Wes answered from behind them as he entered the hospital room. "Doctor Frank sees no point in keeping him here. The best care he can receive is returning to his normal routines and return for a check-up a couple weeks later."

"That's good, honey." His mother kept on gushing and smiling wide. "Your father and I could find a place to rent and you could move in with us."

"And I could take some time off work," his father Alistair pitched in.

"Mother, father, with all due respect, the Doctor said Soul needed to return to his normal routine. His normal routine is with his wife Maka," Wes spoke as he went up to the hospital bed.

"But you said he doesn't remember her. I'm sure he would be more comfortable living with us than a stranger he doesn't know anything about," his mother Kathrine said.

"He knows her. He just needs time with her to remember her."

"But what if he doesn't remember her―"

"Please just stop the bickering." Soul interrupted the fight between his brother and mother. "Just stop it."

"Okay." His mother nodded understandingly. "No fights now. We're family and we're together at last." She placed her hand on his and patted it.

Soul raised his eyebrow. "At last?"

"So!" Wes cleared his throat. "I dropped Maka off at work. She's meeting with a successful investor company she just signed a partnership with."

"Is this the same Maka as in your partner?" his father asked.

Wes nodded. "Yes. I hired her as my intern when she was a freshman in college, but her first summer working at my company she was observing more than the job." Wes's gaze drifted toward Soul and he smiled wide. "It was that summer Soul and Maka met."

Soul wrinkled his nose and he sunk down in his bed.

"I see, so she was more interested in romance rather than work," Alistair commented.

"No." Wes immediately rejected it. "She's a hard-worker and she worked her butt off in order to climb the career ladder on her own. That's why she's my partner."

"Can we _please_ just talk about something else?" Soul groaned with frustration.

It was always about _her_. He was sick of it! Maka here and Maka there and he was so sick of hearing about her and having her always shoved up in his face! It was like everything that mattered was _her_. She didn't matter one bit to him and here he was being force-fed all this crap about her every single minute he was awake!

"Okay," Kathrine said and her hand drifted to his, squeezing it. "Are you hungry? We could go out for lunch and eat."

Soul nodded eagerly. "Yes."

…

Morning couldn't come quicker. Once visiting hour started, Wes, his mother and father and _her_ came strolling inside of his hospital room. The woman set a large box filled with stuff on the ground and she handed him the plastic bag.

"Scrambled eggs and bacon. Just like I promised." She smiled gently at him.

"Um, thanks." He pulled out the box from the bag and opened it. The delicious smell of eggs and bacon made his stomach growl and his mouth to water.

"Here you have some utensils." Maka handed him a plastic fork and a knife.

"I don't think we've officially introduced ourselves," his mother said as she went around the bed toward her side with her back straight with the air of authority she usually produced around people outside of their family. "This is my husband Alistair Evans." She gestured to her husband, who nodded his head at the woman in a brief greeting. "And I'm Katherine Evans. Soul and Wes's mother." She offered her hand which the woman took, shaking it firmly.

"Maka Albarn. I'm Soul's wife."

Soul raised his eyebrow. So his parents hadn't met her before?

"That's interesting. You prefer introducing yourself with your maiden name. Is Evans not good enough for you?" Kathrine's voice was sharp as she inspected the woman like she usually did with all his friends. He crossed his fingers the woman would run away with her tails between her legs like some girls he dated did.

"Evans is not my surname. When Soul and I got married, Soul wanted to take on my last name."

"Wait, _what?_ " Soul burst out in surprise. "I'm not Soul _Evans_?"

Maka's hand slipped from his mother's and she grabbed a hold of the medical journal hanging on his bed and handed it to him. He took it and she was right, at the top of the document was _Soul Albarn_.

"I have your driver's license too if you want to take a look at it," Maka offered.

He lowered the document and nodded. "Show me."

She was right. There on his driver's license stood the same name. Soul Albarn.

"It was really difficult getting your new driver's license." The mattress sunk as she took a seat on the hospital bed. "You couldn't get it since you had to show identification and they wouldn't accept your old id since it didn't have your new surname."

So… he wasn't actually Soul Evans, but Soul Albarn. He couldn't even picture himself with a different last name. Wasn't the bride supposed to take on the husband's last name? Why on earth would he take her last name? It didn't even sound as good as Evans. Not to mention the status the Evans last name held.

He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to admit this was true. Admit that all of this that had happen was true, but the world of his memories he wanted to cling onto was fracturing for every word that left their mouths. It was so hard wrapping his mind around all of this and yet… he _had_ to do it because the evidence was _right there_. His name wasn't Evans anymore.

He lowered his driver's license and handed it back to her who placed it back into his wallet, which had _a chain_. What kind of weird style did he have? Who even had _chains_ attached to their wallets?

"Why did I want your last name?"

"Well," she paused. "You preferred the Albarn name over the Evans name."

"But why? Didn't I say why?"

"Um, you better start eating your eggs before they get cold."

"Oh, right." He nodded.

The breakfast was delicious. He devoured all the food in one go. It felt like centuries ago since he ate food as good as this, and he bet there was some truth to it. That salmon sandwich she'd brought the other day moved his stomach in the wrong way. He couldn't see himself eating it _willingly_.

"Ah, I see the whole family has gathered." Doctor Frank entered the room. "So you're getting ready to leave us."

"Yes, I've gotten some clothes with me so we can go back home," the woman said.

"That's good." Doctor Frank grabbed the journal and went through the documents one last time. "You won't drive a car or a motorcycle until I give you the clear. I've prescribed some painkillers for your head if it starts hurting again and if the pain is out of the ordinary, I want you to contact me immediately." The papers fluttered back on the clipboard and he offered a smile. "And that's it. Just return to your normal routine and regain some normalcy. I'll see you in five to six weeks for a check-up."

"Thank you Doctor Frank for diligently caring for my son." Alistair shook hands with the doctor before Doctor Frank left the room.

"Are you ready to go home?" the woman asked as she grabbed a plastic bag from the box on the ground.

He nodded. "Yeah."

Where he would go was still the question. Going home with her was… unsettling. He just wanted to go home to Los Angeles and live with Anya and forget all of this even happened. All he wanted was to go back to his normal life instead of this mind-bobbling alter reality he found himself stuck in.

"With all due respect, Maka, but I think it's better if we take over from here." Kathrine stepped forward.

"What?" the woman questioned feverously.

"He doesn't know you and I think it would be more… comfortable to be around people who know him."

"You heard what the Doctor said. He needs to return to his _normal_ life. He hasn't lived with you for _years_. His normal life is with me."

"But that's a life he doesn't remember. He needs to be around people who love him." Alistair said, stepping beside his wife.

"That's funny. You haven't even tried to speak with him in _years_."

"Just stop with the fighting!" Wes yelled and both parties stopped. "Maka is right. His normal life is with her. If he will ever regain his memories, he has to be in his home with his wife."

"Wesley," Kathrine hissed at his brother.

"Sorry mom, but that's the truth."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Soul asked.

"Of course you do," the woman said and she grabbed the box she had come with and placed it on the hospital bed. "You wanted evidence of our love and I brought it to you."

She didn't bring just one evidence, she brought _a lot_ of evidence. Everything from pictures of them kissing and hugging, texts signed with _xoxo_ s and _I love you_ s, voicemails of him saying he would be running late and saying he _needed her_ in such a way that was nothing but deep lust toward her.

He found himself rubbing his chest and his body heating up. There was no way he could _not_ have… you know… _L-word_ her before the accident. All the pile of pictures, messages and voicemails made it so clear he… _cared_ about her before the accident.

"And here you have your wedding vows." She handed him a sheet of paper and he grabbed it.

He raised his eyebrow quizzically. "Why did I write it on a note sheet?"

"You said you were working on a song, but instead it turned into your vows to me," she explained.

At the first row there were notes, but they quickly faded and only words remained.

_I vow to fiercely love you forever and beyond._

_I promise to always hold you with tenderness and care,_

_remembering this is once in a lifetime love._

_Through rich and poor and all the challenges we face,_

_we will always find our way back to each other,_

"It…" he licked his lips, feeling so parched. "Um… good vow."

"It is." She smiled softly as she pulled out a small stack of photos. "Here're pictures from the wedding."

He accepted the photos. He flipped through the pictures of him at the courthouse with her wearing a veil and him in a simple black vest. Wes smiled wide as he flashed a peace sign and a woman he didn't know, one with long black hair, beside the unknown woman stood a short male with crazy blue hair grinning wide at the camera with tears running down his cheeks.

In the next photo was of them kissing and the next one, he held the same note sheet with his vows as he looked deep into his bride's eyes.

"A court wedding. How original," his mother sighed.

"We wanted to save as much money we could for the honeymoon. A small court wedding with the people who matters to us was what was right for us." Maka said, sending his mother a glare.

Speaking of the people who mattered, he couldn't find a picture with his parents in it. Of course they should've been in his wedding, but he couldn't find them there. Just him, his bride, Wes and the two strangers.

"Do you believe me?" Maka asked eventually.

He placed the photos back on the covers of his bed. "I believe you."

A wide smile spread on Maka's face and she glowed with joy. "So you will come home with me?"

He wrinkled his nose. "I don't know… I still don't know you―"

"What if I move in with you?" Wes quickly pitched it, earning an icy glare from their mother. "If I'm around too, would you be comfortable then?"

He stayed silent.

They did… ugh the word felt so foreign, but they… _loved_ each other before the accident. Quite a lot actually. He could trust her, right? She had been here with him most of the time and always had she just radiated _feelings_. She loved him alright. She wouldn't do anything creepy, and if she did, his brother would be with him to protect him, right?

In the end, this was the life he had lived. He wasn't together with Anya anymore, he was married to Maka, and he was curious to what his life were like.

He sighed and nodded. "Sure. I'll go with you."


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

Soul stared at himself in the built in mirror in the sun visor. He had his natural hair. White and his red eyes stared back at him. What happened with his brown dyed hair? And his blue contacts? He hadn't had his natural hair since he started high school. Not to forget the patch of hair above his right temple shaved off, exposing a fresh scar with stitches keeping it together.

"I look like a freak," he said.

"I think you look really cute." Maka said as she looked at him quickly, wearing a smile on her face before her eyes were back on the road.

Soul snorted. "Last time I checked white hair and red eyes weren't considered 'cute'."

"It is cute in my book. You remind me of a cute puppy."

Soul turned toward her and raised his eyebrow at her. Of course she would think he's cute. She'd married him.

Wes leaned forward and wrapped his arm around Soul's chair. "I think you look good with your natural hair."

And of course Wes would say that since he's his brother.

His hand settled on his chest where he had found a huge scar going from shoulder to hip. He had yelped and his pulse had throbbed in his ears just at the sight of the scar. It wasn't from the motorcycle accident. This was a healed scar. But… _he didn't even remember getting it!_ It… he looked like he was gutted like a fish!

He fisted his shirt. "How did I even get this?"

"Get what?" Wes asked.

"The scar on my chest."

"Oh… that. It's just an incident that happened years ago. It's not something you need to worry about."

"But it looks really brutal. How did I get it―"

"It's better if it's left in the past," Wes interrupted.

Soul closed his mouth and remained silent.

Maka pulled into a parking lot and the engine died. He opened the door and Wes was quick to join his side. He held onto his brother and Maka grabbed his things from the trunk.

"It's this way." Maka held onto the box and the small bag with the little belongings he had from the hospital. He supported himself on Wes as they followed Maka.

It was… not the best neighbourhood. All brick walls, small alleys and dumpsters by the walls. It was a short walk until Maka stopped in front of a blue door stark against the brown brick building.

"This is our apartment," Maka sang as she pulled up her keys from her pocket. "We moved into this apartment after dating for seven months."

"Seven months? Isn't that moving a little bit too quickly in the relationship?" Soul asked.

"We had known each other for almost a year. We were good friends before we started dating." She unlocked the door and turned around. "Besides, we did make it work. We got married after all." She pushed the door open and she entered the apartment.

The apartment was certainly something… different. Brick walls, cheap steel bookcases from floor to ceiling filled with books and records and ferns on the window sills. An abnormal worn couch in the weirdest green colour he had seen decorated the living room they had immediately stepped into. It was nothing like the elegant huge mansion he lived in his parents' house or the penthouse apartment with floor to ceiling windows. This apartment was… cosy? Personalized? He didn't know.

"So this is where we live," Maka said and put the box on the coffee table, gazing at him and smiling wide. "Welcome home."

"Um…" He released Wes and supported himself on a counter. "It's…" He didn't like the hopeful look on Maka's face, just waiting to hear his opinion. But he couldn't get out any words.

"I know it's not that fancy, but this is what we could afford when we went in college and well… we didn't get a different apartment once we started using our degrees," Maka explained and went toward him.

"I see," he said.

"Do you want a tour around the apartment?" Wes suggested.

"Oh! Great idea." Maka clapped her hands together in excitement. "I'll show you around."

"I'll leave you two be for now. I'll have to pack stuff if I'm going to stay here." Wes patted Soul's shoulder. "I'll only be gone for an hour or so. You okay with that?"

"Sure," Soul sighed. He couldn't be too needy. It was only an hour. He would come back eventually. An hour around Maka he could manage, right? Worst case scenario he could lock himself inside of a bathroom or something.

"Good. You two have fun." Wes waved toward them before he went out of the door, closing it behind him.

"Do you want to see the kitchen first?" Maka asked a moment later.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Lead the way."

Just around the corner, there was the kitchen. It was a small kitchen barely enough room for two people to cook together. The cupboards were old and the white paint was in need of a fresh new layer. Right outside it was an old round table looking like they had bought on a garage sale.

"So this is the kitchen." Maka backed into the kitchen with her hands tied behind her back. "Nothing much, nothing special."

"It's small." His hand touched the round table's surface uneven surface of the wood's fibre.

"I know. You always said when we would move out of this place, you wanted a larger kitchen."

He looked up from the table at Maka jumping up on a counter, dangling her feet as she watched him. "What? Did I cook a lot or something?"

"Yeah. You knew how to cook a delicious stuffed chicken breast."

"Huh." Last time he had cooked he had burned a curry. He'd found the recipe on the internet and wanted to do something special for Anya, but instead he had burned it.

"Did you like cooking?"

Soul raised his eyebrow.

"From what you remember. Did you enjoy cooking?"

He shook his head. "No. I wasn't good at it. I always managed to mess it up."

"I can tell you, you grew better with the years. You even knew how to cook a mean vegetarian curry."

"Are we vegetarian?"

"No, but we do eat vegetarian meals once in a while. We started eating vegetarian meals once a week to help the environment."

A pregnant pause spread between them.

"Soul?" he hummed in reply. "What do you remember?"

His gaze abandoned his feet and moved over to her. He was torn. He didn't know her that well and he was supposed to open up to her about the little memory he had? Even his own memories were a little over the place. He remembered enrolling college and starting his law classes and befriending a guy named Kilik. His memory got a little messy from that point, he could remember working together with him on an assignment, but he didn't remember getting it or even going to a lecture where it was brought up. Then his memories were just… blank until he remembered the small place by his and Anya's apartment where he enjoyed buying their special their special toasted sandwiches with creamy and warm Nutella in the middle. He didn't remember going there before, but he remembered going there thinking he had to finish the sandwich quickly before Anya found out because she _hated_ him eating them. He didn't even remember her hating them. It… he wasn't sure, but it could've been his last memory.

His lips parted and he whispered the little memories he had as his eyes drifted in a different direction than Maka. "I had just enrolled in college."

"Law school, right?"

He nodded.

"You had just… you'd moved in with Anya around that time?"

What?

His head snapped up toward her with wide eyes. "How do you know?"

"We are married." She lifted her hand and exposed the ring to punctuate her statement. "You told me everything that went on in your life."

His jaw tightened and his hands balled. The fact she knew about these stuff made his spine turn icy cold. She knew about this. His memories weren't just his own. She… she truly _knew_ him. This stranger must know _everything_ about him. And it was terrifying.

"Are there more rooms?" Soul changed the subject as he felt his hands starting to quiver.

Maka jumped down from the counter and strolled over to him. "Just the master bedroom, bathroom and a small office. I'll show you the office."

Maka led him away to the right side of the entrance and opened a door. It was indeed small. On the right side was a desk full with papers and a laptop. On the opposite side was a neatly made single bed.

"This used to be our study. We used to have two desks here when we studied in college, but once we graduated, you didn't really need the desk since you started your own recording studio," Maka explained as she took a seat in the office chair. "And this is my desk. Wes would come over once in a while to work and sometimes it got really late, so we decided to put in a guest bed."

"So is this where Wes will be sleeping then?" Soul gestured toward the bed.

"I thought so. This bed practically has his name on it. I think Black*Star and Tsubaki crammed into the bed once, but other than that time, Wes is the one who uses it."

Soul nodded and pointed toward the pile of paper on her desk. "Do you enjoy working?"

"I do," she admitted. "I love my job and I enjoy keeping an eye on the stock prices."

He picked up a sheet of paper and it was some kind of diagram of a stock's price development over the past month. On the side she had written some notes to herself, dismissing the particular stock for the time being.

"And I do it because we have quite a lot of debt."

"What?" he squawked in shock. "We've debt?"

She nodded. "Since we both studied at college at the same time, we could only maintain part-time jobs to cover for the rent and food, but we had to take student loans to cover the tuition and textbooks cost."

"But did your parents take care of your tuition? My parents definitely had to have taken care of mine."

"Um…" she paused. "My mom passed away when I was thirteen and my dad has been in and out of my life."

The little positive feeling that might've remained disappeared. "Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's okay. She died a long time ago and my father comes and goes. When he's gone, he's gone, but when he's here, it's all good." She rolled toward him and her fingertips brushed his elbow. "For years now, you've been my family."

He moved his arm and her fingers left his arm. "Um… so I guess you spend a lot of time with my family?"

She shook her head. "When you came to Death City, you had broken your ties with your parents."

His eyes fluttered with confusion. "Why would I do that?"

Her eyes averted from his. "You didn't tell me the whole story, but something went down and you decided to move in with your brother and study music at the college. I met you around a month after you moved here."

"Okay," he whispered.

It was so strange to him. He was so close with his family. Even when he had moved in with Anya, they still had come over to dinners once in a while and his mother called him frequently to hear how his studies were going.

"For a long time, it has just been you, me, Wes, Tsubaki and Black*Star."

"Tsubaki and Black*Star?" he asked quizzically.

"They are our friends. Black*Star is my childhood friend and Tsubaki is his wife. We always celebrate Christmas and New Year's with them." Maka stood up from her chair. "So how about we move on and I show you the bathroom and the master's bedroom."

"Sure."

He followed Maka to the door next to the office. The door knob twisted and it shrieked loudly as she opened it. Inside was a neatly made queen-sized bed with a plethora of pastel colour pillows and a furry grey blanket on top. Night stands on either side of the bed reminded him of the quality of the kitchen table.

He rounded the bed and went over to one of the night stands. Three books were stacked in a pile and he picked up the first one, _success in stocks_ stood on the book. Right by the pile was a lamp.

"That is my side of the bed."

"A lot of things have changed, but I doubt I would suddenly get interested in finances." He put down the book and turned around, finding Maka sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Correct. That's why I always took care of the finances while you cooked and looked pretty."

Soul chuckled. "So I guess I was the trophy husband while you were the breadwinner?

"Partly true. You cleaned and cooked mostly and you _definitely_ have the good looks." He gulped when her eyes took in his appearance momentarily. "But you also worked, but not as much as me. Some days were difficult to draw in enough clients."

"Okay." He averted his eyes from her. "So what do I have in my night stand?"

"Mostly expired condoms."

He choked on his saliva.

"I had quite a hard time finding the right birth control for me, so condoms were always needed." She shrugged her shoulders and spoke about it as if it was weather.

"Okay!" He did _not_ need to hear that. He turned away from her and pointed toward a door next to the wardrobe system they seemingly had built together full with their clothes. "Is that the bathroom?"

"Yeah."

Soul went to the door and opened it. It was a small bathroom with a tub and shower combo, basin and a toilet. Nothing special. It was the most normal room in their apartment.

"For us it was good to have the bathroom so near our room, but when Wes slept over and he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, not so great."

"Let me guess, he walked in on us getting it on once?"

"More than once." Maka tried to cover her giggles with her hand. "It got to the point you started giving him piss bottles."

He could only grimace and turn around toward her, not finding it as amusing as her. "Can you just… not go into _that_ kind of details?"

She raised her eyebrow quizzically and tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

His lips tightened. "You know, the intimate stuff. It's just… weird hearing it."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She rubbed her neck. "It would be weird hearing all the intimate stuff from a stranger, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I promise I'll keep it to a minimum." She smiled wide and she gestured toward all the rooms. "So what do you think about our apartment?"

"It's… quirky."

"Quirky?"

"Yeah… it's got personality." Of two college students moving in together and buying furniture from garage sales and second hand stores.

"I know it's not some fancy apartment worthy to be in a fashion magazine, but we really did enjoy living here even though it was a little bit small from time to time." She stood up from the bed and went toward him with her hands tied behind her back. "But can you see yourself living here?"

It was a weird apartment and it was indeed small, but he guessed he could live here? It wasn't revolting or anything. "Yeah, I guess, but where will we all sleep?"

"Wes will sleep in the office, you can have the bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch."

"You can take the bed. I can sleep on the couch. I'm the one intruding."

"No, not at all." She closed the space between them and her fingers feathered over his left forearm. "You live here with me and I want you to feel comfortable now when you've trouble remembering your life here."

"Um. Thanks. I guess. But will you be okay sleeping on the couch?"

"I'll be fine. It isn't that bad. We've actually fallen asleep on it plenty of times when we had movie nights." She pulled her arm away from him and cleared her throat. "Anyway, the fridge is kind of empty and I need to do some grocery shopping. Do you want to come along or do you want to stay here getting used to the apartment?"

"I can stay behind."

"Okay, is there anything particular you want me to get?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Just get what you normally do."

She acknowledged and she gestured him to follow her. He followed her out into the room where the living room and kitchen melted together in one open space. She grabbed her purse and she pulled up a keychain and a phone, placing it on the kitchen table.

"Here's your keys and your phone, but I guess you don't remember how to unlock it, huh?"

He shook his head.

"Okay, your password is 4242 to unlock your phone. My number is there if you need me."

"I'll see you later then."

Maka paused, played with the handle of her purse. "Do you remember how to use a smartphone? I mean, was smartphones even created when you actually remembered your past?"

"It's cool. I had the early version of the smartphones. They aren't that different, right?"

"No," she shook her head and her bangs caressed her eyebrows. "The same principle. Touch the screen and all that and the phonebook is easy to find. You can find my name in there."

"Good."

She stayed still on the spot. "… and my name is Maka Albarn," she nervously added.

"I remember."

"Good. Good, good, good," she chanted. She suddenly went over to him and set her hand on his shoulder. "Just call me if there is anything, anything at all, I'm only a ring away."

"Don't worry about me. It's not like the apartment will burn down or something."

"Right, just…" she rubbed her shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"No rush."

She turned on her heel and headed for the door. "Oh!" she spun around just by the door. "The keys and the phone are on the table."

Soul grabbed the phone and waved it toward her. "I got it."

"Good." She waved shyly toward him. "I'll be back." She exited the apartment and closed the door behind her. A moment later the lock clicked.

…

He didn't know where to begin. Now when he was all alone in the apartment, he could explore it without having the judging eyes of Maka's or her comments on memories revolving around it.

He started with the phone. It was certainly slimmer and a little bit bigger than his phone he remembered back in the day. It was a different brand too. One he didn't recognize, probably cheaper phone that didn't focus on status. He pressed the button and the screen lit up with the code lock. The colours and resolution was better too. It had to be a good phone. He flipped the phone and found a weird sticker on it. He didn't even know what it was supposed to resemble. A pair of lips? Was it a mouth with sharp teeth or was the teeth a sound wave? Around the icon was the word _EAT_ in each corner.

Weird.

Cautiously he placed the phone back on the table and he went over to the bookshelves where the records were, _his_ records. Jazz… jazz… and more jazz. All the records were from jazz musicians. Some names he recognized from musicians he used to listen to once in a while in high school. The time he was interested in music and used to play the piano as a hobby.

Right by the records were movies. A wide arrange of movies too. Everything from chick flicks like _The Notebook_ to horror movies like _The Uninvited_.

His eyebrow raised and he pulled out a certain case. It was a similar picture from the pile of wedding photos Maka had shown him in the hospital. With cursive letters said _Albarn Wedding_.

Why not?

He popped the movie into the DVD player and it started. It started with him holding hands with Maka as they went up a couple of stairs to what had to be the courthouse.

"Getting cold feet?" He had grinned toward her as he squeezed her hand.

"Not a chance." Maka shot back.

It was really simple. Everything from her veil, cute untraditional purple dress she probably had laying around in her closet. How could he even think getting married in a _vest_ , not even wearing a blazer would be cool? So uncool of him…

Watching him and Maka interact was… unsettling. He radiated so much love and joy it could rival radioactivity. His hands could barely leave her. He was always touching her hand, or back, or her face. Never before had he seen himself so… so openly expressing how he felt. Not even with Anya had he been so affectionate. Wedding day feelings. It had to be.

It was surreal. Just how different he was seeing himself on the screen and not having a shred of memory of that day or any day in his life with Maka. It didn't make any sense how it was _him_. It was almost as if it was a different person on the screen and not him.

They stood in front of the judge and said their vows.

"I vow to stand by your side." Maka said on the screen, looking deeply into his eyes with a huge smile on her face. "To always love you in all your forms. To speak when words are needed, and to share the silence when they are not." He couldn't help but be hypnotized by Maka's words rolling out of her mouth with such care and affection. Just pure affection and love toward him. "To agree to disagree, I will remain right by your side, where my home is."

His breath was taken away as he was left staring at the screen.

The Soul version on the screen looked down at the paper in Maka's hand before he spoke. "Did you write your vows on a free company promotion paper?"

"Yeah," she whispered timidly and showed the paper, showing the logo of a company named _Evans Finance Group_. It had to be Wes's company?

The Soul on the screen pulled out his vows from his vest and flashed the note sheets. "Seemed like both of us were naughty at work."

She giggled and covered her mouth with her paper.

The Soul started reading his vows just as passionately as Maka had, not breaking the eye contact at all. He didn't even need the sheet with his vows. "I vow to fiercely love you forever and beyond. I promise to always hold you with tenderness and care, remembering this is once in a lifetime love," he dramatically paused after every sentence. "Through rich and poor and all the challenges we face, we will always find our way back to each other."

The ceremony went on and they put on their rings, said their "I will"s and the judge pronounced them husband and wife. They kissed. What a kiss it was. Their bodies were flushed tightly as they clung onto each other as if they let go, the other would disappear. Their mouths slanted against each other to the sound of applauds.

When they let go, they were out of breath and resting their foreheads against each other.

He turned off the TV screen, and found himself rubbing his aching chest― his aching _body._ He breathed heavily as he tried to massage his shoulders. Fuck. It was hurting.

Hurriedly he got up from the couch, finding the world spinning as he stumbled toward the table. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Where had Maka put his painkillers? Through his spinning world, he caught sight of the box on the coffee table she had brought to the hospital. In there! It had to be there. He stumbled and back over to the couch and reached for the box. It tumbled over and he saw the two orange containers with his meds. His legs gave in and he fell to the floor. Desperately he grabbed the two containers of the painkillers. He immediately opened one with shaky hands. Pills rained down all around him and he grabbed one from the floor, popping it in his mouth and swallowing it without any water.

He could barely breathe. He breathed fast, but the spinning world of his didn't stop. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. His body overheating and aching badly.

What was going on? He was drenched in sweat and he couldn't breathe.

The front door opened and his name followed quickly. Cool hands cupped his cheeks and green came into his view.

"Focus on me, name five things you can see." Maka's voice broke through the loud pulse of his heartbeat.

Five things? "Y-your eyes," he stuttered. "A nose," he breathed, his nails digging into his knees. "Y-your mouth… blonde hair." He inhaled loudly. "Eye lashes."

"Good. Now name four things you can touch in this room," She spoke calmly as she stroked his cheeks.

"Y-your hands." He started, feeling the dizziness starting to fade. "Books… phone… records… meds."

"Now three things you can hear."

"Your voice… silence… and TV."

"You're doing great," Maka encouraged. "You're doing so well. Now two things you can smell."

"Shampoo and…" The dizziness was completely gone and his nostrils were not clogged anymore. "Is that apples?"

She giggled and released his cheeks. "Shower gel." She patted his knee. "Are you feeling better?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Um… thanks. By the way."

"You're welcome." She stood up. "What did you even do before you panicked?"

"I found the video of the wedding."

"Oh…" Her eyes drifted to the coffee table and stayed on the open video case. "Was it that bad?"

"No." He moved his arms, feeling the shirt stick to his suddenly sweaty skin. "It was just weird seeing _me_ on the screen and not remembering it. It felt like it was a copy of me or something."

Maka nodded understanding. "How about you rest while I clean this up?"

"You shouldn't have to clean this up. It's my mess."

"It's okay. You must be exhausted from the panic attack."

He tilted his head at her. "That was a panic attack?"

"Yes, you've had problem with anxiety for years." She took a seat once again in front of him. "Usually you only had panic attacks at random, but they were like… not even once a month and you had your anxiety meds to take care of it when you started to feel them."

His mouth tightened. So he had been one of those people with weak minds and not being able to handle it.

Maka sighed and she placed her palm on his shoulder. "Soul, this is a sign you need to take your medication seriously. You _need_ to start taking your anti-depression meds."

Soul started shaking his head even before she finished her sentence. "I don't need any medication. I'll just power through this."

"This isn't something you can just power through." Maka groaned with annoyance. "This isn't just your mood changing and you can change it back by doing something else, this is your _brain_ needing a little help. You wouldn't go running with a sprained ankle, right?"

Soul snorted. "Come on, it's not _that_ bad."

"It is, Soul." Her grip on him tightened. "Did you feel like you left your body? Did you feel like you were going to die and the end of the world was just around the corner?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it immediately. "No."

"Then you should consider yourself lucky. Soul, whenever you got a panic attack of that degree, you wouldn't be yourself for the rest of the days. Sometimes it stretched to _days_." She clasped her hands and she pleaded at him. "Please, _please_ , take your medication. It will make you feel better."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine without it." He rose on his feet and offered her a smile. "Now I gotta clean up the mess I made."

He tried to walk passed her, but his legs stopped. He looked down at her where she held onto his pant leg. "Just keep this in mind, if you start getting dizzy and breathe too fast, remember the grounding technique I just did. Remember, five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Got it?"

"Yeah, I'll remember that." She released his leg and he started collecting the painkillers and putting them back in the bottle. Maka grabbed the sheet with his vows and put it into the video case where another sheet of paper was neatly folded.

…

After she had changed the sheets in their bed (request made by Soul), they said their good nights before she left Soul alone in the bedroom to sleep, far earlier than Wes and Maka. The panic attack had indeed tired him out even though he didn't want to admit it.

Maka went over to the couch and flopped down on it right by Wes, where he sat with his laptop open.

"First day he's home from the hospital," she stated. "Do you think it went well?"

"I think it went well. He talked and asked questions, he was genuinely interested for once." Wes looked up from his computer. "Besides, it could've gone down in the dumpsters really quickly if you hadn't come when you did."

"Yeah," she exhaled loudly. "I'm just really worried about him. He has had _two_ panic attacks in one week! He was lucky with both of them, but I'm really afraid of when a really nasty attack hits him."

"Me too. It's not fun witnessing him become a zombie like that." He closed the lid of his laptop and placed it on the coffee table. "But maybe he will need to experience a nasty attack like that for him to realize he needs his meds?"

Maka gaped at her brother-in-law astonishingly. "How could you even suggest that? He's overwhelmed already with all the changes in his life. He shouldn't have to worry about when a panic attack will hit him."

"There's unfortunately nothing we can do if he doesn't want to take his meds. It's not like we can hide it in his food or something― No Maka! You're _not_ doing that!" Wes quickly called out when Maka bit her lower lips, clearly considering the idea.

"But it will help him. He will then discover how good the meds are and how much they help him."

"If you do that and you're caught, you can bet he won't trust you. Ever. Do you really want to take the chance?"

Her lips tightened and her hands balled her skirt. Soul had always been aware of his surrounding, not trusting people before he really got to know them. She knew that very well. Soul had literally distanced himself and rejected her advancements before he had warmed up to her. She didn't even want to think what would've happened if she did something to shatter that trust she had slowly been building up with their chats by the front desk.

"You have a point," she sighed. "If he won't take his meds, and we can't force him, we will just have to keep an eye on him so if his anxiety hits him, we can help him through it."

Wes snorted. "How will we even do that? Bringing him to work like he's some kid?"

"Yes," Maka said without hesitation. "We saw what happened when we left him alone at the apartment, he can't be alone. Just for now."

"You do realize you can't bring him into the meetings with Arachnophobia? This is a really important period in your career, Maka."

"I know, I know. When we meet with Arachnophobia, I'll just have him hanging out with Tsubaki. It could be good for him to meet with other people than us, right?"

Wes shrugged his shoulders. "Hopefully."

She was just so worried about him. If his panic attacks had any connection to his discovery of the video of him marrying her and not remembering it, she was really worried of how he would react to the news they had tried to make a baby. It wasn't something she could keep from him. He deserved to know the truth about the depth of their relationship. She wasn't just his best friend, wife and lover, she was his life partner. Soul didn't understand how close they were, and that certain information would surly make him realize just how important they are to each other. Maybe then he would actually open up more to her.

"How do you think he will react to the news him and I tried to start a family?"

"He won't because that's something he doesn't need to know."

"Why not?" Maka sneered. "He deserves to know how close we are."

"But does he really? He could start panicking again if he found out what would he even do with that information?" Wes leaned back into the couch's back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Is it really for him you want to tell it, or is it your own selfish desire?"

"I'm not selfish. This is something he'll need to know for him to at least give me a chance."

"So you will guilty trip him into giving you a shot by baby trapping him?"

"No!" Maka roared. "It's not like I'm going to tell him I'm pregnant or something. I'm just going to tell him since he deserves to know the depth of our relationship."

"I don't know, Maka." Wes massaged the bridge of his nose. "If he wants to give you a shot, I don't think it will be because you two were trying to make a baby."

"No, but it would help him understand how much we mean to each other."

"Look, I know your marriage has nothing to do with me, but as his brother, I advise you to not tell him now when he refuses to take his meds. If he was on them, he wouldn't most likely get a panic attack."

Maka placed her hand on his knee. "I appreciate the fact you're thinking about the best for your brother, but I think this is something he needs to know."

"Just… just make sure you're with him and don't have to bounce or something like that."

"I will…" Maka closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch. "I'll just have to move the box I stashed all the pregnancy stuff."

"The recording studio should be good place to hide them at. How things are right now, he won't be visiting it for a while anyway," Wes answered.

Maka rubbed her face and sighed with frustration.

How would this even go? The whole situation is torturous! To always be an arm's length away from the man you love and you couldn't love him and show affection like usual without freaking him out. How long would this even go on? When they started dating, it had only taken two weeks for him to fall in love with her. Two weeks before the sweet words she longed to hear left his mouth.

"Yeah…" she slapped her hands on the couch and got up. "I should probably start preparing the couch and work on some material for the Arachnophobia meeting."

Wes nodded approvingly as he got up from the couch. "You probably should. But are you sure you want to sleep on the couch? You know we can switch, right?"

Maka shook her head. "No. My bed is in my bedroom and if it's not, then this is my place to be at." She patted the couch.

After fighting and they went to bed separately, she had only gotten a taste of the couch. Usually Soul would selflessly grab his things and take his place on the couch in an act to show even though they were fighting, he still loved her and wanted her to have the bed. The handful of times she had made the move to sleep on the couch to be away from Soul, it wasn't fun, but it had been a food for thought. Fighting or not, their relationship was instable and her place was on the couch. If she was to sleep in some other place other than the couch, it was in her bedroom. With Soul.

"Okay." He patted Maka's shoulder. "The offer is still open."

"Thanks. Good night."

"Good night."

Wes turned on his heel after a moment of hesitation and headed to her office. The door clicked shut and Maka collapsed on the couch.

She just hoped this would be all over soon. For Soul to wake up and remember her and their love again. Or suddenly be struck by Cupid and go heart eyes on her. She was starving for his love and she needed him. She needed him back.

Her tooth sunk into her bottom lip as she held back the tears burning her eyes.

She wanted him to love her again so much. She missed her Soul.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

He had slept like a log. That is until he woke up in the early morning. The first thing that hit him was the weird room the dawn of the sun illuminated from the cracks in the curtains. It then hit him he had gone home to Maka's apartment with Wes. This was her bedroom.

The second thing to hit him was his sore body. He sat up in the bed and his back ached as if he had run miles yesterday. He massaged his aching shoulder before he grabbed the orange bottle with his painkillers. He unloaded a pill and threw it in his mouth, swallowing it. He relaxed and flopped down in the bed.

Now what was he supposed to do?

It was still early and all the others were still asleep. It wasn't like he could get up and start making breakfast. He wasn't going to go to the record studio he apparently owned. He didn't even know a thing about recording stuff. There was no way he could actually do anything with it.

Seemed like his day would be spent at the apartment. Quite frankly, he didn't mind. At least then Maka wouldn't bother him. He would finally be left alone with his thoughts. Then he could in peace really familiarize himself with this quirky apartment he seemingly rented with her.

He lied there in the bed, closing his eyes as he felt the effect of the painkiller starting to kick in. He didn't know how long he lay in bed before the smell of bacon hit him.

His eyes fluttered open and he decided he might as well get up from bed. He stretched his arms and rolled his arms, a smile growing at the soreness in his muscles disappearing. He went up to the unhidden wardrobe system.

What kind of twisted clothes did he have? The ripped jeans and the basic t-shirt wasn't exactly his style. Going through his hangers and the shelves with his clothes, his style wasn't much different from the atrocious clothes Maka had come to the hospital with. Jeans, jeans and more jeans. Where were the trousers, dress shirts and blazers? Where were the suits? What kind of wardrobe was this? He dressed like a homeless person!

At the very back of his closet, was a classic black suit with a white dress shirt. Finally some real clothes.

He grabbed the suit and got dressed. He tied the smooth silk tie around his neck and put on the suit jacket. He looked himself in the mirror and he looked great. Just like he usually looked. Leaning forward and running his hand through his hair, he grimaced. Except for the hair and his awful eyes.

Now where were his dress shoes? Just like his suit was hidden away in the closet, the shoes had to be too. The few boxes that was on the top shelf mostly contained Maka's shoes and then some boots and sneakers in his size, but no dress shoes. His lips tensed and he went over to the bed. He kneeled down and there was a box.

Finally. Of course all of Maka's shoes would occupy the shoe shelf. His would be discarded under the bed.

He pulled out the box and opened it.

It did _not_ contain any dress shoes.

Books. There were books on… babies. And pregnancies. And… he gulped, _pregnancy tests_.

No. This couldn't be. He didn't even want to think about _why_ pregnancy stuff was _inside_ of Maka's apartment. If… if she wanted a child… and was _actually_ trying to get pregnant… it would have to be with her… he wrinkled his nose… _him_.

No. No, no, no, no! This couldn't be!

He grabbed a hold of the bedframe as the world started to spin.

She told him they were close. As in they were married. Not that they were _that_ close. As in… they were… oh shit. Oh fuck… were they about to have a mini _them?!_

He fisted his shirt and he rested his forehead against the bed. "Wes!" he yelled at the top of his lung, the only name he could think of. "Wesley get over here!" he sneered.

As if his brother had been standing behind the door (but he knew very well his brother was always ready to aid him), the door slammed open and footsteps echoed.

"Soul!" Wes dived to his side and rubbed his back.

"A-Am I…" he gasped for air. "… g-going to b-be a… a father?!"

"I'm so sorry, Soul." Maka quickly apologized as she cupped his face. "I didn't mean for you to find out this way―"

"Am I?!" Soul's voice rose in strength, flinching away from her touch.

"No…" Maka shook her head as she lowered her hands. "I'm not pregnant."

He released a sigh of relief, hands trembling as he fisted them in his pants. "Thank god…" He wasn't ready for a baby. He _really_ wasn't ready to handle taking care of a child, and he certainly didn't want to have a baby with Maka. He barely even knew her! And… what happened between him and Anya?

"You okay?" Wes questioned as he kept on rubbing Soul's back.

Soul slowly nodded as he breathed heavily.

"I think I should leave you two so you can discuss this," Wes commented.

Soul quickly turned around and grabbed his wrist, shaking his head slowly. "Wes."

Wes sighed and looked away from Soul's pleading eyes. "This is between you and Maka. I'll be in the kitchen." He slipped his hand out of Soul's grip and exited the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

His jaw tightened when Maka sat beside him, leaning her back against the bed. Thankfully she did leave some space between them. "So…" she sighed heavily. "Do you have any questions?"

Soul shook his head. "I know how babies are made."

"I know you do." She tucked her legs under and turned toward him. "But anything about our relationship or are you just satisfied knowing we're not expecting?"

"Yeah," Soul answered earnestly. "I don't want a kid."

"You know what." Maka braced herself with her hands on her knees. "I know you don't remember yourself, but you wanted a kid. With me."

He didn't doubt her. He obviously adored her a lot before the accident. He married her for a reason. They were obviously close, but he didn't know they were _really close_. It only made him question more how he got to this place. Why did he quit law school and where was Anya? How did he end up with Maka and wanting to start a family with her?

"I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm sad you're not pregnant."

"I know you're not." Maka reached to him and her fingers graced his forearm. "I'm just a stranger to you after all." Her fingers left his arm and she grabbed the box full of her pregnancy stuff. "But I want you to know," she said as she rummaged through the stuff. "We wanted a baby. It was you who brought it up, but it was mutual. We started trying to make a family three weeks before the accident and on the day of the accident, I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative." She pulled out a sheet of paper from the box and held it out to him. "At the day of the accident, you did this."

He grabbed the paper and unfolded it. His eyes bulged out of his eyes. It was a medical report of his― his _little guys'_ health and activity. They… they were healthy and good.

He massaged the bridge of his nose as he lowered the medical report. "So… I got my sperm checked?"

"Yeah," Maka giggled. "That morning I was really moody because I really thought I was pregnant and when the test turned negative, it really made me believe something was wrong with us. You told me I had nothing to worry about. We hadn't even tried for a month and we just had to keep on trying." She grabbed the medical report from his hands and folded it back. "That day you took me out to lunch where we enjoyed eating fertility friendly foods and aphrodisiacs. You told me you had a surprise at home for me just before we started heading back to my workplace. That's when the accident happened."

"The motorcycle accident."

Maka nodded sadly.

Soul gestured toward the paper. "Was that the surprise?"

"I think it was. I think you were going to surprise me with a romantic dinner considering you had bought a cookbook about aphrodisiacs and when we had finished eating then you would've give me the report."

And he knew exactly what it would lead to.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "And you're sure you aren't pregnant?"

"I took one on the day of the accident and I've had my period. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant."

"… can you still take one?"

Maka raised her eyebrow. "… Seriously?"

"Seriously."

She sighed and slapped her hands on her knees before she got up. "Alright. If that's what you want. You can go and eat some breakfast while I take the test."

Soul agreed. "Alright."

"Alright." Maka offered her hand toward him, which he accepted. She pulled him up on his feet and exited the room.

In the kitchen he found his brother seated by the table already munching away on his breakfast. "How did it go?" he asked as he finished chewing on some sausage.

"Good I guess?" Soul slid into a seat in front of an empty plate. He started helping himself on some scrambled eggs and bacon.

"You guess?" Wes cut on some sausage and put the fork in his mouth.

"Yeah. Nothing special I guess. Just an explanation to our… life choice."

"Ah-ha." Wes chewed, pointing his fork at him. "You're looking unusually good."

"Oh." Soul looked down to his black suit. "It's the only clothes I'm comfortable wearing."

"Now if I hear that _before_ the accident, I would question if you were sick."

"So what will you say now when it's _after_ the accident."

Wes shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know. If you're comfortable in a suit, then I guess it's nothing special."

Soul's gaze drifted down to his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, still surprisingly hot with steam coming up from it.

He couldn't help but feel… the odd one out. Whatever he did and however he acted, he was the one odd man out. He couldn't act like a husband and he didn't even know how he spoke to Wes anymore. It seemed whatever he did, he did something wrong.

He shook away his thoughts and picked up his fork.

The scrambled eggs did smell _really_ good.

He scooped up some scrambled eggs and enveloped his lips around the fork. The creamy scrambled eggs melted in his mouth and a smile grew on his face. It was delicious. Wes knew how to cook a really good plate of scrambled eggs.

He started devouring the scrambled eggs and bacon. Maka entered the kitchen a while later and took a seat beside him. On the table next to him she placed the white little stick.

"I cleaned it up so you can touch it," she said as she helped herself to some breakfast.

He grabbed it and indeed, the test said _not pregnant_. Wes raised his eyebrow from across the table questioningly. Soul waved it away and continued eating his breakfast.

"Do you like the breakfast?" she asked as she started filling her plate with some of the scrambled eggs.

"It's really good," he said between his bites.

"I'm glad. I wasn't sure how you preferred the seasoning to be."

Wait.

"You cooked this?"

She nodded.

He hadn't even heard her. Simply when he made a bowl of cereal in the morning he would wake Anya up, how in the world had she managed to _cook_ without waking him up?

"You look really good today," Maka complimented, smiling toward him as she glanced toward him. "I didn't say it earlier, but you look really good today."

His throat ran dry at the sudden change of conversation to this… unknown and dangerous territory. "Um… it's the only thing I'm comfortable in." He focused on the food, not knowing how in the world he was supposed to handle her… too friendly comments.

"Do you like wearing suits?" she asked as she took a bite of her scrambled eggs.

Soul nodded.

"Then we'll need to buy some more suits for you."

Wes gave Maka a look from over the table, which she ignored.

"Um…" he put down his fork. "… okay."

"You know, suits are quite expensive and buying a load of them at once costs a fortune, I'll come over with some of my suits you can borrow." Wes quickly added, dropping his fork on his plate. "And Soul, you might want to just relax and not worry about going shopping or anything."

Soul shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't worry, we'll come up with some suits for you." Maka comforted before she returned to her breakfast. "And Soul, what do you think about coming to my workplace today? I could introduce you to our friend Tsubaki."

Soul quickly shook his head. "Oh, no, I think I would rather stay here."

"Oh." Maka's eyes widened in shock. "But wouldn't you want to come with us? It will be very lonely spending all the time alone in the apartment."

"I would rather stay here. I'll just get used to the apartment and stuff like that."

Maka opened her mouth before she closed it, then opened it again. "Would you want me to stay with you? I could take a day off―"

"But you've a meeting with Arachnophobia today," Wes quickly added.

Soul waved it away. "It's cool. Go to work. When you get home you can tell more stories of me before the accident or something."

Maka hesitated. "Okay… okay. If that's what you want, but you got to promise me you'll call me if there's anything, anything at all on your mind and our friend Tsubaki can come over and check on you."

"Sure," Soul sighed.

"It's a deal?" Maka held out her hand.

Soul grabbed her hand firmly. "Deal."

…

When Maka and Wes left for work, Soul went over to his phone and snatched it up. He started scrolling through his list of phone numbers and as he almost expected, his parents' numbers weren't there.

For some unknown reason, Maka hadn't met his parents until the day in the hospital when he woke up from his accident. For some reason they weren't a part of the wedding between him and Maka. Now, he didn't even have their phone number. Could it be they hadn't actually talked in _years?_ Since Maka had never met his parents, did it mean he hadn't seen his parents since he met Maka? When did he even meet Maka?

He fisted his shirt as he locked his phone.

He wanted to see his parents. Whatever reason they hadn't met didn't matter anymore. In this completely foreign life he shared with Maka, he just needed _something_ that reminded him of the life he had.

So where were the yellow pages…

After what seemed like he searched the apartment high and low, he couldn't find any yellow pages. Since they seemingly only owned one laptop, which Maka had brought to work, he was out of options.

He wrote a quick note and placed it on the counter. Since he couldn't find his dress shoes, he had to slip into his ripped old sneakers. Ugh. He was lucky his pants almost covered the atrocious shoes. Hopefully nobody would notice, but he knew very well people would notice. He grabbed his keys from the kitchen table, locked the front door after him before he started exploring the world for the yellow pages.

…

Maka entered the company and her heels clicked against the marble floor, heading toward the front desk. Tsubaki looked up from her computer and smiled wide.

"Good morning, Maka," she greeted just as kindly as ever.

"Good morning," Maka said as she rested her arms on the front desk.

"So how was the first day home?" Tsubaki asked excitedly. "Did it shake loose any memories?"

Maka shook her head sadly. "No. The only thing shaking loose is his anxiety."

The smile on the woman's face dropped. "Oh."

"I know." Maka sighed and slapped her hand on the marble surface. "But I got to ask you a favour."

Tsubaki blinked. "What is it?"

"Soul decided he wanted to stay home, but I'm really worried about him."

"Naturally," Tsubaki agreed.

"The thing is, he has had a lot of crippling anxiety and I'm worried it will go so far he will have a bad panic attack. I wished I could check him before my meeting with Arachnophobia in a few hours, but I can't."

"So you want me to check on him?" Tsubaki tilted his head. "He doesn't remember me either. Won't he be scared that some stranger walked inside of your apartment?"

"Don't worry about it. I've told him you'll come over and he's seen photos of you and Black*Star. Just don't talk too much about the past or it can cause him anxiety." Maka grabbed her arm, pleading to her friend. "Please, Tsubaki, I promise I'll buy your lunch for a week, please, just this once! The other receptionists won't even notice you're gone."

Tsubaki sighed and nodded. "Fine. I'll go and check on him."

Maka squealed and squeezed her arm. "Thank you so much!"

"Don't worry about it. You just focus on rocking your meeting with Arachnophobia."

"I will!" Maka chipped cheerfully before she ran toward the elevator.

…

Okay, maybe it was a bad idea.

He pulled at his suit jacket as he went through the crowded streets. With the clouds covering the sun the air had been refreshing when he went outside of the apartment, but now being exposed to the cool air during a longer time, the chills started getting to him. He should've brought a jacket with him.

But he had already found his way to some stores. Now he just needed to find a store that sold yellow pages.

But it was _really_ cold.

He didn't care anymore what store he went into. It was freezing cold outside and he was starting to shiver.

At this moment, he didn't care. He pushed the first store door he found and the bell loudly sung as he entered. A lot of tools hung on the walls and different kind of wood was stacked on a shelf.

A hardware store, huh.

He wasted no time and went passed the aisle of drills and screwdrivers and up to the male cashier holding a men's magazine in his hands. "How can I help you, sir?" he grunted as he lowered the magazine.

"Do you know where I could find Yellow Pages?" Soul asked.

"Yellow pages? As in yellow pages? You should find it in a craft store."

"No." Soul shook his head. "Yellow Pages as in the phone directory."

The man blinked quizzically. "Why do you need one?"

"I need to find a phone number." Why else would he need one?

The cashier picked up his laptop from under the counter and opened the lid. "Whose number do you want to find?"

It took some time for the mane to find his parents' numbers. He couldn't find a number for them just searching on their names. He got other people's names with similar numbers, but not theirs. It shouldn't have surprised him since people had rung to them either pretending to be from banks to get their card information or journalists bothering them with questions. What he managed to come up with was the number to his father's secretary. Hopefully if he told the receptionist his name, they could give him their numbers.

He thanked the cashier and exited the store.

Now he could go home and get warm.

He stopped right in his track and people went around him.

_Where_ was Maka's apartment again?

He cursed himself for forgetting where the apartment was! He was too busy searching for a store that might have a yellow pages and he got himself lost! Shit, there was no way he could find his way back to her apartment with all the alleys he snaked through. The apartment was practically in the middle of a labyrinth!

He fished up his phone from the pocket and gazed at the phone number the cashier had written on the paper in his other hand.

He might as well call them. It wasn't like he could call Wes or Maka when they were at work. At least his parents were somewhere in the city doing something. They could help him out.

His thumb tapped the number on the screen and brought the cell to his ear. It only took a few rings before the secretary answered.

"Welcome to Alistair Corporation, this is Blair, how can I help you?" The surprisingly familiar voice of the secretary greeted him.

"Blair, is that you?" Soul questioned.

"Kitten?! Is it really you?" Blair chirped happily.

"Yeah, it's me. Since when did you become my father's secretary?" Soul asked.

When Wes and him were young and his father and mother went to business meetings and travelled to different cities for business, Blair was the one who stepped in to babysit them. She was weird and quirky, but she was cool. They had movie nights and she took them to the arcade to play. She had tagged along and babysat them for quite some time, but once Wes got old enough to "babysit" him, it mostly ended with Wes being good all the way until he went to bed. Then he snuck out only to return with Blair because he got himself drunk with his friends. Then Blair was pretty much their babysitter again. He hadn't seen her for a while when he grew old enough to take care of himself. To be honest, he didn't even know what she worked with during the period she babysat them or how his father knew her.

"I've been your father's secretary since I stopped babysitting you guys. Your father liked how organized I was taking care of you Kitten and his old secretary resigned so he hired me. What about you Kitten? I haven't heard from you in forever!"

"Um…" How was he supposed to answer that question? "I'm good."

"That's great! So have you found a girlfriend?" she sang.

He cleared his throat. "The reason why I called you Blair was so I could get mom or dad's number."

"But don't you have your parents' numbers?"

"I lost them." He didn't feel like summarizing the little he knew about his life. "Could you give me them? I'm kind of in an emergency?"

"Emergency?"

"Yeah, um, I got lost."

"Oh no Kitten! I'll give you their numbers right away!" papers crinkled in the speaker. "Do you want me to text the numbers to the number you're calling from?"

"That would be great."

"You better call me soon, okay? I've missed you, Kitten. I haven't heard anything from you in years."

He missed her too. Even from what he could remember, he hadn't spoken much to her. The last time he saw he was on his high school graduation along with his parents, Wes and his grandma.

"… yeah. Yeah, I'll definitely call later."

"Good Kitten! I'll hear from you later," she almost sung with joy.

"Yes, see you."

"Goodbye."

He hung up and just like she promised, he received a text with his mother's and father's private numbers along with their work phones, and Blair's private number as well with a _call me Kitten! I miss you xoxoxoxoxo_. He could only chuckle as he typed in his mother's cell phone number. He brought the speaker to his ear and listened to the dial tone.

His mother answered sternly after a few rings. "This is Katherine Evans."

"Mom, it's me."

"Soul?!" she exclaimed. "How are you? Is Maka taking care of you?"

"Um, she's doing alright," Soul commented. "But mom, I need your help."

"Anything, sweetheart."

"I'm… I got lost and now I don't know where the apartment is. I don't have any jacket and it's freezing outside."

"What's around you?" she questioned seriously. "I'll find you as soon as possible."

"I'm outside of a hardware shop named…" he turned around and looked up at the sign. "… Sizzling chainsaw."

"Sizzling chainsaw…" the name rolled on her tongue. "Honey! Google Sizzling Chainsaw and give me an address. We got to pick up Soul!" She yelled away from the speaker, he guessed she called for his father. "Are you standing with your nose toward the entrance or with your back toward the entrance?"

"Facing it."

"Facing it…" she was silent. "Okay, I want you to go down to the street to the left. When a road comes, stand by the corner and wait for me. I'll get in the car right away!"

"Okay."

They hung up when his mother jumped into her car and he followed her instructions. He tried to fend off the cold by jogging on the spot and rubbing his hands on his arms. It felt like a long time, but he waited only fifteen minutes before a hot red sports car pulled up to the side. The side door opened and his mother leaned over the passenger seat.

"Come here, Soul, I brought you a coat."

He quickly slid inside of the car and closed the door, throwing his phone into the cup holder. His mouther draped the coat around his shoulders and started rubbing his arms.

"You must be freezing!" she exclaimed. He gulped with surprise when she pulled at him into an embrace, rubbing his back to create as much heat as possible.

His mother had always been affectionate. Hugging and kissing them every chance she got, and if there was something she enjoyed more than showering them in her love, it was photographing them. He couldn't count the amount of photographer his mother had paid to document their upbringing.

It felt good being in his mother's arms.

"Do you remember her address?" his mother asked.

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Do you have Maka's number?"

"Wes and her are working and she had some important meeting."

His mother snorted disapprovingly. "How can she think about working when you're at home? Isn't she supposed to keep you company and teach you about your past?"

"Since I'm not working, she has to work to keep the money coming in, you know." He pulled away from his mother. "Besides, she loves working. I already kept her from work yesterday, I can't occupy all her time."

"But sweetheart, the reason for you to go with her was so you could learn about your past. If she's not around, then you might as well come with us back to Los Angeles."

"We've plenty of time after work to talk." He reached for his mother's hand and patted it. "You don't need to worry about it. It's good for me to have some free time too."

"I'm your mother. It's my job to worry about you." She enveloped his hand and comfortingly held it. "I'm worried about you. You're staying with a person you don't remember. She's not a friend of the family and we know nothing about her."

"Wes knows her. Wes trusts her and I trust his judgement. You've nothing to worry about, mother."

"The more you say so, the more I worry."

Soul chuckled. "It's alright. I promise. She's… Maka's cool."

"… she is?" she questioned and raised her perfectly groomed eyebrow.

"Yes."

She sighed, pursing her crimson red lips. "That's good then. As long as you feel safe and it's helping you."

"It does."

His mother pulled her hands away from his, leaning back into the driver's seat. "So, since you don't know where the apartment is and we can't disturb Wes or Maka, how about we make a little family bounding day?"

Soul smiled wide at his mouth. "I would love to."

"Great. How about we go shopping then? Judging from the clothes Maka brought to the hospital, you might need a wardrobe change."

"Yes." Soul sighed heavily. "All I seem to own is torn jeans and t-shirts."

"Then we're going to change that," his mother said, smiling wide as she turned on the car, driving off to find a good parking spot.

…

Maka paced back and forth, heels clicking in front of the meeting area. Wes leaned against the wall, waiting in for Miss Arachne and Mr. Mosquito to arrive.

She held her phone in her hands. She should hear something from Tsubaki any moment now. She made sure she wanted a check on Soul before the meeting started. Otherwise she wouldn't manage to concentrate. She just… needed to know he was okay and wasn't all alone panicking over something.

She spun her wedding ring around her finger as she turned around, pacing back.

"Relax," Wes said. "He'll be fine. He's probably going through a photo album or something."

"But what if he's not?" She kept on fiddling with her ring. "His anxiety spiked when he watched the wedding video and found the pregnancy things."

"I'm sure he won't be surprised anymore. All the major life changes in his life has already been revealed. There's nothing to be anxious about anymore."

"You know his anxiety doesn't work like that." She stopped and gazed at Wes. "You know he has no control over it and grounding techniques can only do so much for him. He really needs his medication."

"And you know he won't take them―"

Her phone went off and she quickly answered Tsubaki's call.

"How is he?" she asked, not beating around the bushes.

"Um Maka…" Tsubaki went silence.

"What happened?" Maka questioned seriously, sensing something wasn't right. Wes's eyes widened for a moment and he neared her, trying to hear in on the conversation.

"Something _didn't_ happen. It's just…" she paused.

"What is it, Tsubaki!"

"He's not here."

"What?!" she exclaimed, causing Wes to jump on the spot.

"I couldn't find him. H-he's not in any of the rooms, I've checked them all out and even in closets and under beds, but he's not here."

Maka silenced.

He was supposed to be home! He said he wanted to stay home to get familiar with the apartment! If she knew he would leave, she would've never left him alone.

She swallowed down the growing fear in her throat. "Thank you, Tsubaki. You can come back and continue working." She hung up her phone and immediately started searching for Soul's number.

"What is it?" Wes quickly questioned.

"He's not at home."

"But he said he was going to stay at the apartment to get used to it."

She didn't answer and instead tapped Soul's number, holding the phone to her ear. The dial tone kept on bleeping, foot tapping impatiently. He didn't answer. "He's not answering," she said as she hung up.

"What are we going to do? The people from Arachnophobia will be here any minute now."

Without even hesitating, Maka started heading toward her office.

"H-hold up!" Wes chased after her. "I could go and search for him. This is a very important meeting to mark the start of your partnership with them!"

"I can't work knowing Soul is missing." Maka went inside of her office, grabbing her coat and purse she had discarded on her hanger. "I-I'll reschedule another meeting and hope they will understand. Right now I need to find Soul."

"I'm coming with you then."

"What?" She whirled, just catching his blonde hair disappearing out his office. "But you have work to do."

He peeked around the corner, already putting on his light grey coat. "He's my brother, you know."

As they exited the company, she made a quick call to the P.A to Miss Arachne, quickly explaining she couldn't meet with them since a personal emergency had come up. She knew she would be scolded by the pair later, but it was something she had to handle then. Right now, she had to find Soul.

She kept on calling his cell phone, it kept on ringing and ringing, but he didn't answer. They drove to her apartment, as just as Tsubaki said, it was empty. They called his name, but he didn't come forward. The phone and keys were missing from the kitchen table, so he had them with him. His shoes were also gone but― his jacket was still hanging on the hanger. Just going out in his suit jacket wasn't enough to keep him warm. He could get sick if he stayed outside long enough!

"Maka, look at this," Wes called.

She rushed over to his side by the kitchen counter. In Wes's hand was a note that appeared to be written by Soul. The handwriting she recognized as his was… slightly altered. Usually his handwriting was sloppy and rushed, but this version was cleaner. Had his handwriting changed as well when his memories disappeared?

On the note said: _I went outside to pick up the yellow pages. I will be back as soon as possible._

"Why would he even be looking for _that_?" Wes questioned.

Maka shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, but that means he's somewhere in the mall." She gulped. "He might even be… what if he was mugged? You saw the way he dressed this morning. Thieves would flock to him!"

"But he wouldn't have anything worth stealing, I guess. Did you pick out the wallet from the bag of belongings from the hospital?"

She paused. "I didn't… but then is the reason a lie? He wouldn't have anything to _buy_ the yellow pages with."

"I don't know, but we should probably hit the town and start searching for him there."

Maka nodded. "Yeah, let's hurry up."

She just hoped Soul was okay…

…

It was nice. Hanging out with his mother felt really good. It felt… normal. It was just like he remembered. All the times his mother would drag him to the mall to get new suits measured and tailored for him. It wasn't like the unknown environment with Maka and the him he didn't remember. This… this was familiar. He could handle this.

He finished buttoning a white dress shirt and threw on the light grey suit jacket. The curtain rustled when he pulled it aside and exited the fitting room.

"That looks wonderful on you, sweetheart," his mother gushed at him as she stood up from her seat.

"It does look good," he agreed when his mother started her usual routine of checking the clothes by pulling and gazing at the fit of them.

"They do fit you well. The colours are pretty and they emphasize your sharp facial features. Unfortunately the quality isn't as good as Armani, but it is passable." She circled him as she took in every angle of him. "Yes. It's good suit. How about we buy six pairs of that fitting in different colours?"

"Won't that be expensive?"

She waved it away. "Oh don't worry about a trivial thing like money. I'll take care of the costs."

"Thank you."

His mouther smiled wide and patted his arm. "Any time." She backed away from him. "So, I'll go and pick out a few different colours you can choose from. Then how about we go to the shoe store and find you some proper shoes. You look like a homeless person in those shoes, dear."

"Okay, mother."

Kathrine exited the fitting rooms and returned to the men's section. He got out of the suit and put on his own. When he exited the fitting room with the suit, he wasn't so surprised at finding his mother on the phone as she went through different colours or dress shirts.

"Wait- calm down, Wes, what are you talking about?" she asked. He guessed he was talking with Wes. "Soul isn't missing. He's right here with me."

Realization dawned on him. Maka did mentioned something about a woman checking on him, and he wasn't at home. He was just supposed to be out on a quick errand, but now it had gone a couple of hours. His brother must be worried about him. He was supposed to return home within the hour after all.

"He called me since he couldn't find his way back to Maka's apartment and you and Maka were in some meeting― Ah-ha," she hummed. "We're shopping at the moment. We're at The Big Sleep's Suits… okay, sweetheart, we'll be waiting for you to arrive at the men's section."

"Was that Wes?" Soul asked cautiously after she hung up.

"It was. Apparently Wes and Maka have been calling you and looking for you."

"Oh…" he did forget his phone in her car… "Is he mad?"

"No, just worried." She put her phone back in her luxurious purse. "They were close to us so they will swing by." She grabbed a deep red shirt and held it toward him. "Hmm… you look great in red."

He could only grimace. Seemed like even if he tried not to bother them, he had bothered them in the end.

They came running into the store only minutes later. "Thank death you're safe!" Maka exclaimed as they came to a halt in front of him, breathing heavily and her blonde bangs sticking to her sweaty forehead. "I was really… so worried something… something bad had happened to you." she heaved and she rested her palms on her knees. "I'm out of shape."

"You can't just run off like that without telling us," Wes scolded him. "We were really worried about you! Maka was close to file a missing person's report!"

"I _did_ leave a note…"

"And where is your phone? You're supposed to keep it on you. We called you multiple times!"

"Wesley," their mother lowered her tone. "He wasn't harmed. You know he has difficulties with adjusting to everything. He has a lot on his mind and I'm sure his phone slipped his mind."

Wes opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. They both knew arguing with their mother never resolved to anything. She was far too stubborn and would dominate the conversation in one way or another.

"Is that dad's coat?" Wes finally said.

"Oh, yes, he mentioned on the phone he forgot to bring one, so I borrowed your father's."

Silence stretched once again. Maka's green eyes stayed firmly fixated on him the entire time. He couldn't meet her eyes, just feeling the worry and relief radiating from him bothered him far too much.

"So, Soul and I were just doing some shopping. We've found his size and we were picking out different kinds of suits. Do you want to join us?"

"Thank you for offering, but we should return to work," Maka commented. "I'll see you at home, Soul. The address to the apartment is Death Street 42. I'll text you the address if you manage to forget it."

"Um, thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiled gently toward him. "I'll see you at home then."

"Oh and Maka," Kathrine called just when Wes and her were about to leave. Her head held high and she spoke with authority. "My husband and I are getting settled in to our apartment and we're planning to have a family dinner this weekend. You're more than welcome to join us."

"I would love to." Maka accepted before Wes and Maka headed back to work.

…

"Your mother hates me." Maka exclaimed as she flopped down on the couch. "Hates me!"

Wes sighed and lowered the papers in his hand from across the coffee table in the comfy seat of the armchair. "I don't she _hates_ you."

"You saw how she acted today! And how she acted in the hospital! She hates me and she's going to roast me alive at the dinner."

"Just keep it down, Soul is asleep."

Maka's jaw tightened as she grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it.

She hated her alright. First the horrible first introduction at the hospital and then the ice cold meeting with Soul's mother at the mall, she was sure she hated him. Her father had been harsh on Soul when they first met, but he was always so vocal of his dismay, but Mrs. Evans, she was so ice cold. Judging her from afar and keeping up the fake appearance of interest. It was even worse! The only thing she could read from Mrs. Evans was distaste toward her through her fake act of like.

Geez, no worry Soul had been upset.

"Look, our parents are really strict and they want what's the best for us, but they only think what's best for us is to walk one path. A path you don't really belong in."

"How don't I belong in it?" Maka removed the pillow and peeked at Wes. "I know I didn't grow up in an upper class and I don't know all the walk and talk like an upper class, but I work hard, I've a great career and I love Soul."

"It's not about that." Wes leaned his arm against the armrest.

"Then what is it? It's not like I have given them a reason to dislike me."

"You haven't. They're just…" Wes paused as he thought through his words. "They don't know you and these are the people who want to know who are inside of their circle. These people… when you're in a position of power like my folks are, they need to keep their guard up."

Maka blinked questioningly at him. "It's not like I would use Soul to get to them. If I would, I think I went after the wrong brother."

Wes let out a hearty laugh. "Yeah, you definitely did."

"Isn't that enough then? I've been together with Soul for seven years. If I wanted to get to them, I wouldn't have been with him for this long."

"Some people would say that, but these people don't. They have been betrayed before, they're not taking any chances."

"You make it sound like they're part of the mafia or something."

"They might as well be. Money and power changes people to the worst."

She could only imagine what Wes had witnessed within their family. What kind of terror that had Soul running away and Wes severing all his responsibilities and inheritance within the Alistair Corporation and starting a new company, a company where profit wasn't the only goal, but providing good service to the clients.

The few times when Soul had actually talked about his family, it wasn't a pretty picture. Now when he had bonded with his mother again, she was afraid. Afraid something terrible would happen to him. He had run away from his home once with a broken heart, she didn't want it to happen again.

What more had they endured?

"Soul never told me much about your family. It was a sensitive subject he would rather ignore, but what happened with your family?"

"It is a sensitive subject for a reason," Wes said sternly. "Soul was lucky. Mom managed to shield him from most of the awful, but you can't protect anyone forever. That's all I got to say about it."

If Soul was the lucky one… then Wes…

Wes offered her a faint smile before he grabbed the papers from the coffee table again. "Don't worry about Soul too much. Our parents want just what you want, him to be safe. It will take time for them to warm up to you, but they won't be cold to you forever."

She sure hoped so.

"I hope you don't have anything bad on your records, because I can guarantee they have already hired someone to run a background check on you."

"What?!" she shrieked.

"Shhh, not so loud. Soul is asleep."

" _Wes!_ "

"Heh."


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

He couldn't help but have a skip in his steps. Today he was finally going to see his parents again and have dinner with them. He had felt so content and _normal_ when he went out with his mother to shop, just to return to the apartment and feel like an intruder in what he had been told was his home.

He had known Maka for a few days and she was… cool. The evenings they spent cooking together, going through photo albums or sitting down in the couch and just talking. He learned more about his past with Maka and the feeling of unknown kept on growing. The Soul she described sounded so… so… _not_ him. Last time he even touched a piano was in high school and never had he any thoughts of even starting a career in the music industry. Since Wes didn't want to work in their family company, the company would be left in his hands. He remembered his father had set up everything for him. His law career, an internship at the company so he could start learning the ropes, everything was there for him, and he had waved it all away.

He couldn't even start grasping the person Maka described. It was as if it was a completely different person and not him just a little more than a month ago. How was he supposed to jump back to being that person when he couldn't even understand him? Why had he gone and turned into that person? Why Maka and not Anya?

"Which one do you prefer?" He looked over at Maka who held two hangers with two different dresses. One was a deep purple tight dress, but yet very elegant with its sophisticated V-neck. The other one was a black cocktail dress with wide straps that could be considered cute and flirty.

"The purple one is professional."

Maka lowered the dresses with a huff. "I'm not going to a meeting, Soul. We're going to dinner with your family."

He knew exactly what she was indicating on. The fact they _as a couple_ were going to dinner with his parents for the first time. But he just couldn't jump into the husband roll with her.

"It might as well be a business meeting. Everything in their life is about business."

"But not right now." She put away the purple dress and held the black one. "I think I'll wear this one then." She flashed him a playful smile before she headed inside of the bathroom to change.

He sighed heavily as he grabbed a simple black tie to match his classic black and white suit. Guess he would be matching with her unintentionally. Awkward. It shouldn't be awkward since she is his wife, but it was just… weird. Being paired with a woman he knew so little about.

She exited the bathroom, spinning around showing off every angle of the dress. "Do I look good?" She smiled wide toward him as she went toward him.

She was a beautiful woman. Even he could see it. She's lean and long legs the dress exposed her strong arms. Her hair clipped behind her head and it rained down behind her shoulders. She was pretty.

"Yeah," he admitted.

The way her face lit up with joy made him regret saying the comment. Her face just radiated with joy as if he might as well have confessed his undying love to her. Note: he didn't love her.

"That's great." She grabbed his tie and he guled. She was waaaay too close. Her thumb ran over the silk of the tie. "You didn't wear suits before the accident. You planned on wearing jeans and a dress shirt on our wedding. I had to nag you to even get you to wear a vest." Her hand ran up the tie and gently tightened the tie around his neck. "You really do look good in a suit."

"Um…" He grabbed her hands and tenderly pulled them away from his tie. "Thanks. I guess."

"Too close?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's cool… just some space would be nice."

She took a step backwards immediately and she ran her hands down her dress.

"You know you don't have to come with me and Wes if you don't want to. Wes can drive us there and back."

She shook her head even before he finished his sentence. "I want to go with you. Your parents mean something to you, so I want to get to know them too and support your relationship with them."

"That's… really cool of you."

A smile spread on her face. "Anything for you."

There was a knock. Soul turned and found his brother standing by the door frame. "Are you two ready to head out?"

"Yeah," he breathed.

They got into the car and Wes started driving to their parents' apartment. Maka had taken a seat in the back seat along with him. He made sure to keep on his side and thankfully, she kept her hands to herself. Wes drove for a while before he pulled into a street with fancy tall apartments he knew had to cost a fortune. But his parents were, well, _them_.

Wes pulled into a parking lot and killed the engine. "They live on the top floor."

"Penthouse apartment. Nice," Maka commented as she stepped out of the car, staring up at the tall building. "The rent must be expensive."

"For them it's probably pennies." Wes slammed the driver door and locked it.

They went to the entrance and Wes punched the code. The door slid open and they went inside. The stairwell smelled fresh of cleaning products and mint grass.

"This is really fancy." Maka admired the ground floor as Wes pressed the elevator button.

It was. It reminded him of the standard his parents set on the hotels and homes they lived in when they were young. It was fairly… familiar.

The elevator arrived and opened. They took the elevator up to the top floor and there was the door to their parents. Wes rung the bell and they waited. What seemed was only a moment later, the door slid open and his mother smiled wide toward them.

"Right on time boys." she gushed toward her sons, opening up the door wider. "Come in! Come in! The table is decorated and the chef is wrapping up in the kitchen."

They entered the apartment and from the corner of his eye he saw Maka admiring the tall ceiling and the immediate open spaces with the luxurious furnishing. "Wow…" she breathed.

"Oh this?" Kathrine quickly caught on Maka's blatant admiration toward the apartment. "This is unfortunately a little too small for our taste, but it was the best we could come up with on such a short notice."

" _This_ is too small?" she said with utter shock on her face.

Wes quickly cleared his throat. "What Maka meant to say is this is bigger than the average penthouse apartment in Death City and you were truly lucky you managed to get a big apartment like this one."

Maka's gaze sharpened when she looked at Wes. His mother however simply smiled wide and waved it away. "It's easy to find what you want when you have connections." She turned on her heel and started heading inside. "Oh!" She looked over her shoulder. "And when you need a lawyer, I know a couple of top ones who could offer you a good deal." She flashed a smirk before she headed inside.

"Did you hear that?!" she whispered harshly toward him and Wes. "She hates me!"

"Oh no, this is her trying out the waters." Wes quickly said. "She does this to every girl we bring home. Don't take it personally."

"Not take it personally? She's suggesting I should _divorce_ Soul!"

"It's cool, Maka." Soul pitched in. Her head snapped toward him. "She's just overprotective. She'll warm up to you eventually."

The anger that flamed in her eyes was extinguished and she nodded slowly. "Okay. If you say it's okay then."

"Are you coming?" Kathrine called for them.

"Coming." They followed where their mother had disappeared around the corner. Maka stayed close to his side as they entered a humongous dinner area were a long table was decorated with plates. His father was already seated at the end with papers scattered around his plate.

"Sweety, no work now." His mother said to his father, collecting the papers from his hands he was clearly reading. His gaze followed his mother, but he didn't utter a single word of protest. Just like him. Always so quiet.

"Hello father," Wes greeted their dad.

"Wesley." He stood up from his chair, standing tall with his back straight. "Nice to see you again, son."

"You too." The two shook hands before he stepped back.

"Hi father." Soul reached his hand toward his father who accepted it with his usual firm grip. What he didn't expect was the second hand grabbing a hold of him too.

"It's good to see you, Soul."

"Um, you too." He pulled away his hand from his father. It was so unusual seeing his father show _any_ sort of emotion. Just the extra hand had him gazing at his father dark eyes with wonder. "Father, this is Maka." He gestured toward her. "You know… yeah, you know."

"Maka Albarn." His father accepted her hand and shook it. "I'm Soul's wife."

"Yes, we met in the hospital. It's nice to get to know you better."

"You too." He released her hand.

"Have a seat. Dinner should be ready soon." Alistair took his seat again and gestured to the others.

They all took a seat by the table. He was expecting Wes to take a seat by their father like usual, but instead he took his seat right by their mother, leaving two empty seats. Soul slid down on Wes's original seat by their father and Maka into the empty one beside him. His mother smiled wide as she took her seat on the other side of their father.

As if on que the moment they all were gathered around the table, a server came and poured them red wine into the fine wine glass of the latest trend.

"So Maka," his mother started. "You work at my son's company."

"Yes, ma'am. I've worked at his company since I studied in college."

"That's right, mother. I was a guest lecturer at her college and she asked me interesting questions. I told her to apply for one of my internships and here we are, she's my partner," Wes stepped in and explained. "She was a valedictorian in college too."

"Interesting. So it does match your record."

Maka almost spat out her wine at his mother's blatant confession.

"Mother," Soul sighed.

"What? You never know who you let inside of your home." She shrugged her shoulders and sipped on her wine. "You do have quite an interesting record. Valedictorian, impressive extra curriculums, clean criminal record. Who did you pay to create such a nice record?"

"Excuse me," Maka's voice raised in pitch.

Kathrine huffed and he mentally slapped his forehead.

His mother had always been overprotective and over-controlling when it came to his friends and (two) girlfriends he brought home. Many friendships had been ruined because of his mother's protective nature. Even though they were kids, she would stare at them with her icy blue eyes and throw their flaws at them as if it were knives. His first girlfriend he brought home his mother had crushed her self-esteem and had her running out of their home with tears running down her cheeks. That was his freshman year in high school.

After growing up with Anya since diaper's age, he grew feelings for her and her feelings were thankfully mutual. At the end of his sophomore year, they became a couple. Even though she was a close family friend and he practically grew up with her, his mother didn't hold back one second. She had used a moment when him and Anya had fought over cookies when they were nine years to try to break her, but she was the one who lived through his mother's torture. The fact he had grown up with her probably had something to do with it, and his mother had genuinely liked Anya and even at one moment, encouraged him to date her. Her questions had more been a confirmation than an interrogative.

If Maka even survived his mother's clear distaste toward her, she deserved a gold medal. She wasn't holding back. She _wanted_ Maka to snap and run away, screaming for a divorce. He didn't even feel bad if that would happen. Maka was sweet and she did deserve someone who was genuinely interested in her. Someone who wasn't him.

"Mother." Wes lowered his voice. "I can assure you her record is something she worked really hard for and _earned_. Not bought."

His mother huffed as she lifted her wine glass and took a sip.

Yes. Most likely Maka would be running away and demanding a divorce after this.

The food arrived and the conversation didn't get better. When his mother wasn't fixing her razor sharp gaze on Maka, she was totally freezing her out. No matter how much Maka tried to make a good connection to his mother, she brushed it off.

"Soul has been doing great. He's accommodating very well to his life with me and―"

"I hope you enjoy the food Soul," Kathrine interrupted Maka as she cut the fine piece of meat the chef had cooked for them. "I bet you haven't eaten something this delicious for a long time."

He could just feel the anger Maka chained to her core as she breathed heavily, trying to keep the rage contained. "We have been doing some cooking together. I'm cooking his favourites to see if it's still food he enjoys―"

"Did you hear something?" Kathrine released her utensils and laid her hand on Wes's arm. "I swear I could hear that good for nothing food truck. Shouldn't they know anybody in these parts of the city won't buy fatty foods like that?"

"I think you heard Maka." Wes turned toward his mother, already sick of her stunts she pulled. "Can we _please_ have an ordinary family meal without the pitchforks and torches?"

"Well Wesley, aren't you enjoying yourself? Aren't you happy we are all together again?"

"Yes but―"

"Soul, you're enjoying yourself, right?"

He blinked his eyes as he chewed on a bite of meat.

"Katherine," Alistair finally broke the silence. "Please."

The only one who could reel his mother in was his father. With just one word, his mother's lips pursed together and she pouted at her husband before she returned to enjoying the meal.

The dinner was more awkward than ever. Maka and his mother kept on staring at each other as if a battle was taking place in their gazes. He was just waiting for the moment to snap and Maka would throw herself over the table to mangle his mother. But she never did. Her knuckles were paled as she ate her food with a scowl on her face.

Women. Why were they like this?

He couldn't enjoy the dinner with his family since his mother and Maka kept on verbally pulling at him like he was some trophy for them to win.

"Soul is doing really well. When we get home, we're actually going to make a timeline with all our photos―"

"That's so sweet. Too bad it won't do any good since _he_ _doesn't_ _remember you_." Kathrine's words dripped sarcasm.

"At least he's coming home with me instead of staying here."

"Oh please, it's just voluntary work for a desperate young lady with gold digging intentions."

"Excuse me, I make _a lot_ more than―"

"Can you two to stop thefighting!" Wes roared, slamming the end of the spoon on the table, all the utensils and plates jumping from the force. "Mother, as much as you don't want to admit it, Maka is your daughter-in-law. Accept it. And Maka, respect our mother."

"She's the one who started it," Maka quickly defended.

"Oh please, you started it by marrying my son without even inviting us―"

"You weren't even in his life! Soul wanted nothing to do with you―"

"Everyone be quiet!" Alistair rose from his chair and roared.

His warning came too late, Soul had already stood up from his chair and went away. To Maka's protests, he went inside of the first door he saw and slammed it shut. It proved to be a master bedroom. His back hit the door as he slid down the pale wood. With shaky hands he untied his tie and pulled at his collar.

When had the room become so heated and stuffy?

His forehead beaded with sweat and his muscles started shivering from exhaustion. His hands quivered as he ran his hand through his perfectly combed hair.

"Soul?" Maka called from the other side of the door. "I'm sorry." The door handle lowered and the door buckled a little, but he kept his back steady. "Can you let me in, please?"

As much as he wanted to be by himself and just… sweat it all off until it was over, he moved over. She opened the door as much as she could without crushing him, and slipped inside.

"I'm so sorry." She closed the door behind her and slid down beside him. "I shouldn't have yelled at your mother like that."

What was he even supposed to say? He didn't understand anything. He didn't want to disappoint Maka. The time and energy she put down on him, he didn't want to disappoint her now. At the same time, it was his mother. He loved his mother. He didn't want anyone to yell at his mother.

It was all so confusing. He didn't know who he would turn to or what to do.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Soul slowly shook his head, closing his eyes. Words couldn't describe his emotions he was feeling. He just… kept on shaking his head.

"I'm so sorry, Soul." Maka kept on apologizing and she placed her hand on his shoulder. Her voice quickly was cut off and he felt her burning stare on him. Her hand squeezed his shoulder and he gasped in pain, quickly shying away from her. "Soul," she said sternly as she latched onto him, her hands starting to squeeze his shoulders and upper back.

"Get off." He pushed her hands away.

"Soul you're knotted like a pretzel!" she exclaimed, hands groping air as she tried to get to him. "You must be in a lot of pain!"

"No I'm not. I take those painkillers when the pain arises."

"You _still_ take them?!" Her eyes widened. "Soul! Those pills were for you _head_ not your muscles!" Her hands lashed out toward him again and he slid away from her groping hands. "How long have you even been in pain?"

"Just back off, will you?"

"Soul!" She propped her hands on her hips and glared at him. "How long have you been in pain?"

"… since I moved in your apartment."

"Soul!"

"So what? I took the prescribed pills for it and I'm _fine_."

"Those were for your headaches that could arrive. How often have you even been taking them?"

"One of two pills every day."

"Soul!"

"Will you quit it?" he sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against the wall. "What's done is done."

"No Soul, this is serious!" She gripped his arm. "How did this even happen?"

"I don't know, Maka. It just happened― h-hey!" Her grip on his arm tightened and she pulled at him. He was forced on his feet and Maka grabbed a hold of his wrist. "W-where are we going?!"

"We're going home and I'm going to try to work out those knots of your." She flipped around and gave him an icy cold gaze. "And I'm going to call Doctor Frank to schedule an emergency check-up."

He wrinkled his nose as he let Maka drag him away.

Might as well end this atrocious dinner before it even got worse.

Maka apologized to his mother and then he, Wes and Maka left.

…

He didn't know what was more of a pain, Maka trying to massage out the knots in his backs, or her constant interrogation on why his back was full of knots and his muscles so tense. He would constantly curse at her for being so freaking rough and she would argue back saying she _needed_ to be rough to get the knots out.

He laid awake on Monday morning. Another night he had trouble sleeping. Even if Maka's massage sessions had helped a little, he was still so sore and sleep refused to whisk him away. Most of the night he rolled around in the bed, trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and when he found one, he just couldn't fall asleep.

The little sleep he had received didn't help his already overworked muscles. He was sure dark bags were a permanent look on him by this time. Ugh. Just another thing for Maka to worry about and harass him over.

He rested his forearm over his eyes.

Why did she even care _so much_ about him? Everything he did, not just the muscle stuff, she care about _everything_. From just leaving a crumb on plate to his and… to what she said was anxiety. Her gaze would always stay on him and observe him from everything he did. He couldn't recall Anya ever watching him so carefully. She had always been… confident. She trusted him and in his ability to take care of himself.

Anya.

What had even about to them? He loved her so much and he truly saw a future with her. It was just so confusing how he had ended up with Maka, a woman he hadn't known and his family had never even met her. His past… there was something but he just couldn't remember.

The doorknob suddenly squealed and he sat up, finding Maka peeking through the door.

"You're awake?" Maka stated, opening the door and slipping inside.

"Yeah." He ran his hand through his hair.

"It's awfully early. Aren't you tired?" She took a seat on the edge of the bed farthest away from him.

His mouth tightened. He had started to stay up longer to hang out with Maka and Wes, now he was caught red-handed with his sleeping problem.

"You too. Why're you even up this early?" let alone in the bedroom. She had never entered the bedroom without his consent. She always knocked or never went inside of the room at all. The only exception was one night when she had burst into the room and headed straight to the bathroom.

"I was going to take a shower. I was hoping you would still be asleep." She shrugged her shoulders. "But… here you are."

Here he was indeed. The one room he liked the most, the room where he could shut himself in when things were too much with Maka and Wes.

"You going into the shower, or?" He watched her form as she still sat on the bed when she should be inside of the bathroom.

"Yeah. If you want, you could start on breakfast?"

"Sure," he breathed.

…

He tightened the coat around him as they headed inside of the hospital. He grimaced at the familiar hospital scent of cleaning products and dying people. Why did he even have to be back here? He was _fine_. Just some sore muscles hadn't killed anyone.

"It's going to be fine." Maka soothed as she patted his shoulder.

"I'm not nervous."

Maka sighed. "Whatever happens, we will be fine. Things can't get much worse, right?"

"I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.

They arrived at the waiting room. She maintained the space between them, but her knuckles were pale as she gripped at her jacket.

Seemed like it wasn't him she was trying to convince.

"Um…" he patted her shoulder. Her head whipped toward him. "It will be alright… you know, whatever."

A wide smile spread on her face and she grabbed a hold of his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you."

After everything Maka had done for him, just taking care of him and helping him getting back into the life he forgot. She was so selfless. Incredible selfless. The time she had abandoned the important meeting with her partners in her project in order to search for him, it was unbelievable. To throw away work, something she was so passionate and cared about for him, it was… he didn't even know how to describe it. Stupid? Sweet? Uncomfortable?

He slipped his hand from hers and held it, feeling the warmth lingering from her hand.

"Soul Albarn."

Maka gently nudged his elbow. "That's you."

"O-oh." He forgot he technically wasn't an Evans anymore.

He rose on his feet and went toward the female nurse who called his name with Maka close on his tail. They followed the nurse until she ushered them inside of an examination room.

"Ah, Mr. Albarn." Doctor Frank faced him, seated on an office chair with a file in his hands.

"Soul is just fine."

"Alright then," Doctor Frank said as he closed his file. "Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable be." He gestured toward the examination table.

Soul shrugged off his coat and Maka reached for it. He silently handed the coat to her and she took a seat on the visitor's chair as he took a seat on the examination table.

"So how are you feeling?"

Soul shrugged his shoulders. "I'm fine."

"I don't think so," Maka quickly added.

Doctor Frank held up his hand toward her. "I want to hear Soul's view first." He lowered it. "Tell me. How are you feeling?"

"Like I said, I'm fine."

He hummed. "Head-wise. Any headaches?"

"No."

"Do you remember anything?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I see…" Doctor Frank nodded. "Look toward the door."

Soul followed his instructions and Doctor Frank's fingers graced his head were the stitches had once been.

"Healed beautifully."

Next Doctor Frank checked on his eyes. He flashed a tiny flashlight barely the size of a pen into his eyes, humming after he checked both of them.

"Take off your shirt. We're going to hear how your lungs sound."

Soul grimaced as he glanced at Maka. Hesitantly he started taking off his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt. Soon it fell off and he placed it beside him.

Doctor Frank scooted closer to him on his office chair and put on the stethoscope. He shivered when he placed the cold metal on his chest. He hummed after a while as he took it off, letting it rest around his neck.

"Turn toward the right." He did as Doctor Frank asked and he placed the cold metal on his back. "Inhale." He followed his instructions, inhaling and exhaling on command. He hummed as he mentally noted on his situation in his mind.

"Now we will check your blood pressure." He wrapped the plastic around him and pulled up his white coat. He put on the stethoscope and placed the cold metal on the curve of his arm. Doctor Frank started pumping the ball in his hand and the band around his arm tightened. He hummed again and the band around his bicep started to release pressure. He pulled off the stethoscope and took off the wrapping around his arm.

"We're going to take a blood a quick blood sample and then I'm very interested in your view on Soul's health." Doctor Frank explained to both of them.

He was right. It truly was a quick blood sample. Without any hesitation or regards toward him, he made quick work of his arm and filled a couple of vials with his blood. He sent the blood samples to a nurse to deal with them, and then he returned and flopped down on his office chair, sitting on the chair backwards.

"So Mrs. Albarn, what's your view of all of this?"

"He's not fine," she started. "He's not taking his anti-depression medication and therefore his anxiety has been all over the place."

"I don't need any medication. I can deal with this on my own."

Doctor Frank snorted.

"It's not about living with it or not. It hinders your ability to live a healthy normal live without getting your anxiety attacks every other day. Don't think I don't notice when you turn quiet as you try to find your grounding." Maka glared at him. "And your back is knotted worse than a hand-knitted scarf! He's been using up all the painkillers you prescribed for his back."

"Come on, it's just a pill. It helps ease the pain."

"It's not just your pain, Soul," Maka sneered. "You're not sleeping well anymore. Don't think I'm unaware of it. I've noticed your dark bags and yawns."

"I think I understand the bigger picture." Doctor Frank said, nodding as a smile spread on his face. "Soul is actually fine."

"Huh?!"

"I told you."

"I'm not finished." Doctor Frank held up his hand and the two fell silent. "When I graduated from college I started working at a psychiatric hospital. It wasn't quite in my lane, but I learned a lot about mental health."

Soul grimaced. This didn't sound promising at all.

"It's obvious to me you're suffering from anxiety. Just looking at you I can see your back is strained, your heart rate is beating faster and your blood pressure is high. From just Maka's information alone, I can almost conclude his blood samples will show his bad cholesterol and blood sugar levels will be higher than normal." Doctor Frank crossed his arms over the back of the chair. "On paper, you have anxiety and need to start taking your anti-depression medication, but if you don't think it's a problem and want to deal with it." He shrugged his shoulder. "Then it's not really a problem."

"But― but…" Maka opened and closed her mouth. "He's not _fine_."

"It all depends on Soul. We can't fix anything he doesn't deem a problem."

"But it _is_ a problem." Maka rose from her seat and cautiously put her hand on his shoulder. "You have anxiety. You've had plenty of anxiety attacks, Soul. You _know_ you have. You need help."

"It's not anxiety." Soul moved away from her. "I'm just… I'm overwhelmed. Wouldn't you be if you woke up in the hospital and went home with a stranger, trying to get into a lifestyle I know nothing about?"

She silenced and her gaze moved down to the floor.

"So you don't have any problems. At all?" Doctor Frank asked.

"The only problem I have is back pains."

He nodded. "Alright. I'll prescribe something for your back and I recommend visiting a licenced masseuse to help relax your back." He turned toward Maka. "Can I have a moment with him? Alone."

Her eyes fluttered and she looked at Soul. He rolled his eyes and nodded toward her, assuring her he would be fine. "Alright," she spoke and grabbed his coat, placing his on the chair. "I'll wait for you outside." Her hand softly caressed his arm before she exited the room.

"I'm not a licenced psychologist and quite frankly, psych rotation wasn't really my thing, so this might be terrible." Doctor Frank tilted his head. "You said you were overwhelmed by everything new from when you woke up in the hospital, but you have been living with her for a while now. You've got to be used by it now, so what is it that has you so overwhelmed?"

"It's…" no words were spoken. He left him hanging as he reflected on it.

Why was he overwhelmed? Doctor Frank had a point. It _was_ a while now. He should've been used to it by now, by everything new and getting to know the past Soul before the accident. What was it he was so uptight about?

"You don't know, do you?"

He shook his head. "I don't," he sighed. "I don't know why I'm really doing all of this."

"What is it about your situation and past that has you confused?"

"I don't really know. Everything is just…" his voice faltered.

"This might be terrible advice, I don't know, but I think you need to fill in the holes." He looked up at Doctor Frank who shrugged toward him. "It couldn't hurt to try something new. And if it does, I wasn't the one who gave you that advice."

Soul snorted.

Filling in the holes… huh.

A nurse knocked on the door and left the result from his blood sample. Doctor Frank gave them a quick look and nodded. "Just like I thought."

"I guess we are finished?"

Doctor Frank nodded. "But if you want to give the anti-depression medication a try, I'll write a prescription for it. If you change your mind."

…

"So what did he say?" Maka asked as she drove. He hadn't spoken anything since he exited Doctor Frank's office. The curious and questioning gazes she gave him he didn't meet.

He… he needed to fill those holes. What him and Maka had been doing was clearly not working. He wasn't remembering and he wasn't accommodating to his life well. He wasn't the pianist and the owner of a recording studio like the Soul he was told he was. He was just sitting around at home or hanging out with his mother. Something needed to change. This couldn't go on anymore.

She pulled up to the parking lot in front of the luxurious apartment complex his parents lived in, killing the engine and turned toward him.

He looked away from the window and toward Maka. "Exactly what I needed to hear."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said." He smiled faintly toward her. "I think… yes, when you get off work, I would like to see my motorcycle."

"R-really?" She lit up and a huge smile spread on her face, exposing her white nice teeth. "You really want to?!"

He nodded. "Yes. And maybe this weekend, we could visit the recording studio."

"I'm so happy!" she unbuckled her seatbelt and threw herself at him, arms wrapping around his neck as she hugged him tightly. "Thank you! You won't regret this!"

He spluttered at her sudden proximate, hands up in the air not knowing what to do with them. "Um… Maka."

"Oh!" She pulled away from him, still smiling wide as she pushed a hair strand behind her ear. "Sorry."

"No worries… just, a warning would be nice."

"Next time definitely." She placed her hand on his arm. "I'm really happy you're ready to see them."

"I got to see them eventually, right?"

"Still." Her thumb gently caressed his arm. "I'm really happy you want to see them."

"Um." He unbuckled his seatbelt, shying away from her touch. "I'll see you when you get off work."

"Yes. I'll pick you up as soon as I'm off work."

"Cool. See you later then."

"See you."

He stepped out of the car and he closed the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

Soul sat on his mother's couch with a cup of tea in his hand, warming his fingers as he stared into the brown liquid in his cup. The light steps resonated in the apartment as his mother went inside of the sitting area. She set down a silver tray on the mahogany coffee table. The tray was full with cookies and cakes and a pot full with tea. The seat beside him sunk and his mother elegantly crossed her legs.

"So, how did the check-up go?" she asked as she grabbed her cup of tea.

"It went fine. No real problem."

"That's great, dear," she beamed. "But why are you so detached? Did something more happen?"

"I don't really know." He ran his hand through his hair. "The Doctor spoke with me in private. I was… overwhelmed at first when I went home with Maka, and I still am kind of. He asked me why I still am and suggested I should try to fill in the holes."

"Fill in the holes… as in, trying to remember?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but he guess…" he lowered his cup. "I think… I want to dye my hair."

"Dye your hair?! How is that related to filling in your holes?"

"I think he meant I'm supposed to challenge myself more as I try to uncover the questions I have about my past."

"How is your hair related to it?"

"You remember how my hair was when I started college and moved in with Anya. I didn't have my natural hair colour. It was a light brown." He grabbed a hold of a hair strand and he looked at the long white lock. "I don't like this. I look like a freak. I've wanted to change hair colour for a while now, and I think this is the time to do so."

His mother nodded understandingly. "Alright. When do you want to change your hair colour?"

A smile stretched on his face. "Today."

"Okay, then we'll find a hairdresser or in worst case, I'll just have to dye it myself."

"Mother."

"Yes?"

His grip on his cup tightened as he started to caress the rim of it. "I've thought a lot about the last memory I have before I woke up in the hospital."

"… what memory?" her voice suddenly turned stern. "What _do you_ remember?"

His eyes fluttered with confusion at the sudden stern and seriousness. "I remember starting law school and moving in with Anya. We had been living with each other for a few weeks and then… it's just nothing."

"Oh…" His mother sighed and flopped down against the backrest of the couch as if all her muscles went slacked. "I see. Then what's on your mind?"

He took a deep breath. "Anya," he sighed.

"Anya? What is it about her?" She raised her eyebrow.

"I…" he knew he would get flack for it. "I love her."

His mother gasped and she covered her moth in shock. "Y-you love her? But what about Maka?"

"How am I even supposed to love her? I don't know her and what I remember of _me_ is being with Anya. I love her and… and I just want to know what happened with her and me."

She paused and she set her cup of tea on the trey. "I guess it shouldn't surprise me. You remember being with her and not Maka. So, is it _only_ talking you want to do with her?"

He couldn't lie. "At first, at least. First… I just have to know what happened between us. I thought we had it so well. I have to know how our relationship ended from her."

"Very well then." She stood up and went out of the sitting area only to return with her shiny new brand bag. She pulled up her phone and started scrolling on it. "If you need answers, then I can't stop you." She handed him the phone and on the screen was _Anya Hepburn_ and her private phone number underneath it.

"Mother…" His hand tightened on the phone and a huge smile spread on his face. The warmth in his chest swelled from the memory of his girlfriend and in front of him was his direct line to her.

"Just promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"I know it might not have shown it during our family dinner." She clasped her hands on her lap. "But Maka is a good girl. She might not be a friend of the family, from an upper class or be well versed in manners, but it is apparent she loves you dearly and only wants the best for you. Just don't hurt her too much, okay?"

"Mother…" He was left gawking at her. He never thought she felt any remotely positive about her. But… he was glad.

"I know. She's… she's a really something." He flashed her a smile. "I'm not going to cheat on her or anything like that. I just… I just want to hear it from Anya."

"Good." She patted his knee. "You do remember, cool men don't cheat on their women, right?"

"Right," he chuckled at his mother's thoughtful words she had imprinted on his mind throughout his childhood.

"Finish your tea and we will go and colour your hair."

…

It was good. It turned out even better than good. He stared at the reflection in the mirror at his light brown hair. Yes. Now he looked like one of the regular people instead of a wandering human experiment. His sides were cut short, to match the side where the surgeons had cut his hair to operate on him and his hair was neatly combed backwards but still maintained the volume. It was very professional and 2017 according to the hairdresser.

His mother and him had found a hairdresser with enough time to cut his hair, but unfortunately not enough to dye his hair. It was still good, it gave him and his mother some time to talk and bound as she dyed his hair.

She had told him about the time in college before she met his father, living in the dorm rooms where she had bounded with her roommates. She would dye their hair and eyebrows as they sipped on their cheap margaritas.

He hadn't thought about it before, but her and Maka had a lot in common. His mother had come from a higher middle class family. His grandparents had paid for her college and she lived in the dorms, having a part-time job and studying hard, until she met his father. The rich life had begun.

What he had learned about Maka, she had it tougher than his mother. She had worked hard for her grades and the little tuition her father had been able to afford, she covered the rest with loans and worked part-time. Both of them were hard workers. Except when his father came into the picture. Too bad he couldn't be a knight in shining armour and help Maka though his debt.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. He exited it and saw through the glass doors Maka's car pulled up, engine still one. He opened the door and saw Maka gawking at him through the window. He flashed her a smile and he slid inside of the car.

"Oh my death!" she gushed as she curiously gazed at his hair. "You dyed it!"

"And I got a cut."

"You look really good." Her mouth was shaped into an o as she admired his new haircut. "What flew into you to actually dye it?"

"White hair isn't that good looking if you're not retired."

"But you looked really good in your natural hair colour." She placed her hand on his arm. "You look really good whatever hair colour you have."

The corners of his lips twitched at her sweet comment. "Thanks. I guess."

"You look really handsome in that haircut." Her hand lifted to his face. He blinked confused at her and the tip of her fingers graced his right side, the bump of the scar from the motorcycle accident. He wanted to flinch away from her touch, but he didn't. It wasn't a bad touch. It wasn't like she was furiously groping him or something. And she… it was the scar that ruined everything for her. The future her and the past him had planned for themselves and what the accident had robbed from her.

He allowed her to trace the scar on his head back and forth, feeling the rise and fall of it. "It has healed very nicely."

"Yeah," he breathed.

Her hand fell from his head. "Sorry… I probably made you uncomfortable."

"No, it was… it was alright," he whispered. "I know the scar must be a symbol of catastrophe or something."

She shook her head gently. "I wouldn't go that far. It is bad since you don't remember me, but you are alive and in good health. The accident could've killed you. I'm so happy you're alive, even if it cost you your memories of me." She offered him a faint smile. "I just wish… I really want us to pull through and for you to fall in love with me again."

He inhaled sharply. "Maka… I…"

"Relax." She put her hand on his arm. "I know you don't love me. I just want you to know… that's what I want. I want us to be together again."

"I figured. Otherwise you wouldn't do all of this for me."

"You're wrong." She squeezed his arm. "You're my best friend and I truly care about you. Even if I knew nothing would ever happen between us, I would still want to be there for you and help you through this."

A smile spread on his face and he placed his own hand over hers. "Thanks. You're really cool."

"It makes me happy hearing you say that." Her thumb started to caress his, a light lit up within him and he pulled his hand away. An image of Anya's smiling face appeared in his mind. He wasn't together with her, he was married to Maka, but yet, it still felt like he was cheating on her. This wasn't right.

Silence lay between them before she turned away from him. "Shall we go and see your bike?"

"Sure," he exhaled.

…

He had his own garage. Or more like storage room. Maka explained on the way he rented a small storage room where he would work on his bike. It was conveniently near her apartment.

"So this is where it is," Maka spoke as they came to a stop by a certain garage right around the apartment complex. She pulled out her keys and they rattled as she started unlocking the door. "So this is where you would be hiding away, working on your motorcycle." The garage door rustled loudly as she pulled it up.

His breath was taken when he saw the huge mess inside. Tools were discarded everywhere and the cement floor had oil stains. It was so… dusty. He wrinkled his nose as he slowly entered, seeing the object hidden underneath a huge black dirty cloth.

"It's…" he crossed his arms over his chest. "… it's like a garage."

"It is." She smiled wide as she leaned against a table barely standing full with all different kinds of tools. "When you had a particular difficult day at work, you used to come here and work on your bike to blow off some steam. You would stay here so long I had to come and remind you it was late."

It was so… weird. Just being in the tiny dirty garage. He couldn't see why he would _willingly_ spend hours upon hours in this space. He never even imagined himself driving a motorcycle, yet _owning_ one. This… but he had enjoyed these stuff.

"And look," she got off the table and grabbed a hold of the cloth, he knew the bike hid underneath it. She pulled it off and the dust erupted in the air.

He coughed and waved the dust away, and left was a huge _orange_ monstrosity. The lacquer was ripped and he could see where the bike had slid against the asphalt from the accident. He kneeled in front of the bike and his fingers traced the ripped lacquer, feeling the dent of it.

"This motorcycle was your baby. You would always complain about me ruining the lacquer when I rode it with my heels on, but of course I never did, but you always complained and checked the lacquer every time."

"Why did I care so much about _this?_ "

Maka shrugged her shoulders. "It was your hobby. You loved polishing the lacquer and working on it."

"I've never liked motorcycles." He glanced up from the motorcycle. "Do I like cars and drag racing and that kind of stuff?"

She giggled and shook her head, her bangs caressing her brows. "No. Just bikes."

"When did I even start liking this stuff?"

"Um…" she tilted her head. "When we met, you already had bought the motorcycle and were taking classes to take the license."

"So… maybe a month or two before we met?"

"Yeah. Somewhere around that time."

He got up back on his feet. "When _did_ we even meet?"

"We met in the summer of 2010."

Summer of 2010… he remembered going off to college and moving in with Anya. That was autumn of 2009. So… around a half a year he became a motorcycle enthusiast.

"Who was I when we met?"

"Who?"

"Who was I when we m―"

"I heard you the first time. It's just… a weird question to ask." She paused and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Like I said… you lived with your brother… you had a part-time job at a café… you took motorcycle lessons and you had been accepted to our university to study music. You had a lot on your mind at that time so you weren't completely open to me or making friends at that time."

He raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean with that?"

"I don't know the whole story, you never liked talking about your past, but you had told me you had a difficult time adjusting to your life away from your parents and you had some trouble related to Anya."

"Did I…" he gulped. "… you need to tell me the truth."

"What is it?" she asked, sensing the seriousness in his tone.

"When I met you…" his hands balled. "Was I still together with Anya?"

She shook her head. "No. You had broken up with her around two months earlier."

His heart twisted with hurt just at the thought of ending the relationship with her. She… she truly was something special. It still seemed so surreal how he could be without her. But at the same time, it offered some (minimal) comfort at the thought he didn't cheat on her.

"You didn't jump into a relationship with me, you know." His eyes snapped up from his shoes and to her. "We didn't start dating until months later on the 5th of November."

Soul nodded slowly as he started processing the information. This was the first time he could actually _recognize_ his behaviour before the accident. It wasn't the behaviour of the piano playing husband of Maka's. It was actually _him_. Him he remembered and who he was now. He never wanted to become a cheater, and he still wasn't.

"Were you afraid you cheated on her with me?" Maka asked.

"Yeah," he breathed.

"You've nothing to worry about. You've never broken your no cheating rule."

He raised his eyebrow. "How do you know―" he threw his hands in the air. "I shouldn't be surprised anymore."

"No. I _have_ after all known you for seven years _and_ I'm your wife," she almost sung. "Do you want to try to fix the scratches?" She gestured toward the motorcycle.

His eyes fluttered with confusion. "I've no clue what to do."

"Sure you do. You've done this multiple times. Wait." She headed over to a shelf and started going through the various tubs and cans messily stacked. "Where is it… ah-ha!" she grabbed a small can and pulled the top off, revealing the head of a spray can. She went over and held it out toward him. "Here."

He hesitated as he looked at the dirty grease dried onto the can. He grabbed a hold of it and he cringed at the bumps of the dried mysterious sticky dirt. "I don't know what to do with it."

"Sure you do, Soul. You always used to have one of these cans in your pocket if you got a scratch. You would even use this as a prevention measure."

His eyes stayed fixated on the can in his hand. He had never even seen a can like this one. He didn't even know how to change tires on a car! Let alone fix a scratch.

"I don't remember any of that."

"But it's somewhere inside of your mind with all the other memories. If it's something you can remember it's this. Just let your hands do the work."

His hand quivered and his grip on the can tightened. "I don't even know what this is."

"Just experiment with it. Maybe your memory would―"

"God damn it I don't know how to do this!" he screamed as he threw the can on the ground. His hands quivered madly as he tried to restrain them.

Maka fell silence. Mouth thin and her glare on him. "I'm trying to help you!" she broke. "I'm trying to get you to remember. Can't you see it?!"

"How am I supposed to remember something I don't even recognize! I've no clue how to even use that thing!"

"But you could if you just _tried!_ "

"I _can't!_ I literally can't do something I can't remember!"

"If you just gave it a t― wait!" He had spun and went out of the garage, hands fisting his hair as he took deep breaths through his mouth. Maka was hot on his tail. "Just stop!"

"Leave me alone!" he whirled around and roared at her. Her eyes widened with shock and she came to a stop. "Just… give me space." He turned and went away. She didn't follow him.

…

He locked himself inside of the bedroom. He shut out the knocking on the door from his brother trying to attract his attention.

He just wanted to be left alone.

After what took place inside of the garage was on his mind. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it. He didn't know what to do and have Maka's watchful eyes on him just made it all worse. Maka had already gone through enough and he didn't want to disappoint her, but he just couldn't do it. He knew he disappointed her. All she had done for him was trying to help him get back to… to the husband she had married, but he couldn't be that person. The person she had told him he was, he couldn't connect with. He couldn't even grasp the idea of him. How was he supposed to go back to that person when it sounded like a completely different person?

He couldn't do it.

This life he was living, it wasn't working. Filling in the holes wasn't working. He could've had a whole movie of all the memories he lost and he wouldn't still be able to connect with him.

But he couldn't stop looking at his phone in his hands. He finally had a way to contact Anya and finally gain the question that had been burning on his mind ever since he woke up in the hospital. He could finally know what happened between them.

What would he write? They hadn't spoken in years of what he had been told. It would be weird if he just called her out of the blue demanding answers of what happened to them. He… he needed to be careful before he reached out to her. He couldn't just pounce this on her. The message had to be kind and respectful and open to a conversation with her. From the time he knew her, he knew she was distrusting. He needed to gain her trust in this one message and encourage her to contact him.

His thumb glided over the screen and he opened the blank chat with Anya.

_Hello Anya. I guess it was a long time ago we talked, but this is Soul._ He just cringed at the opening line. _My mom gave me your number, I hope that was cool. I know this sounds weird, but I've lost my memories in a motorcycle accident. I've lost years' worth of memory. The last memory I have is of us moving into an apartment together to start college. I was hoping you could answer some of the questions I have. Soul Evans_

It was as good as it would get. He wasn't going to sign it with his now legal last name. He felt nothing like an Albarn or how he pictured he would feel with her last name. Anya would definitely just dismiss the message if he signed it with that.

After a deep breath, he hit the send button and locked his phone. His back flopped down on the soft covers and he placed the phone on the night stand.

All he could do now was to wait. If she wanted to talk to him, she would reach out to him. And if she didn't, all he could do was respect her choice.

Even if it meant he would forever question what had happen.

This was his problem and nobody else's. Nobody was obligated to help him. Let alone Maka. The husband she knew might as well be dead, but she was still _here_. Trying to help him out and orient through 2017 and try to regain what he had lost.

A knock on the door resonated within his room. "Who is it?"

"It's me," Maka said.

His lips tightened.

"Can I come in? I went and got those noodles down the street you adore."

His mouth watered at the thought of those noodles he had fallen in love with the night they had gone out for some takeout. He couldn't say no to those.

"A sec." He got up from the bed and unlocked the door, finding Maka in her pyjamas with the takeout box in her hand.

"Can I come in?"

He stepped aside and let her inside. She took a seat at the end of the bed. He grabbed the takeout box and plastic utensils in her outstretched hand. He took a seat on the other side of the bed. The mouth-watering smell hit him the moment he opened the box. Immediately he started digging in.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the garage," Maka said. "I just wanted to help you, but instead I pushed you too hard and hurt you. I'm so sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders, munching on the delicious noodles. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I should've taken you more seriously when you said you couldn't do it. It's difficult for you to get used to all of this and I was pushing you to do something impossible. For that I apologize."

"I appreciate that. I know you wanted to help me." He lowered his fork and turned toward her. "All of this you're doing for me. I know you do it to help me and I really appreciate it."

A large smile grew on her face and her eyes twinkled like the stars in the night sky with that extra he had come to grow so used to. "Only for you." Her hand set on the covers, as if she was reaching out for him, but at the same time not quite.

He turned back toward his meal and suddenly, he didn't feel as hungry anymore.

He ate his meal in silence with Maka keeping him company. A few weeks ago it would've been weird having her around, but it was comforting. She… she was a good person.

The door creaked open a few minutes later and Wes peeked his head inside. "Looks like you two made up."

"Yes, we did," Soul said as he finished his meal and placed it on the night stand.

"Good, that's great." Wes shoved his hands in his pockets as he strolled toward the bed. "You're getting along right?"

Soul turned toward Maka, finding her smiling toward her. "Yeah. We are."

"Good. Good, good, good," Wes murmured.

Soul raised his eyebrow at Wes fidgeting on the spot. "What's going on?"

"Well," he started and took a seat on the bed. "I'm going away on a business trip in a week for a couple of days. Are you comfortable living with Maka without me?"

Was he? He was comfortable and had gotten used to having her around him, but living _alone_ with her was a completely different thing. Or was it? He pretty much only talked to Maka most of the time. Wes had mostly just sat around with his work and been a fly on the wall. It wouldn't be much different right? He trusted Maka. She wouldn't do anything to hurt him intentionally.

He met Maka's eyes and she waited for him. She didn't judge him for taking his time, she just looked… hopeful.

Slowly Soul nodded. "Yeah, do your job. I'll, um, be fine here with Maka."

He didn't need to look at her directly to witness the joy radiating from her. The slight bounce in the mattress and the barely contained squeal from her made it clear she was _really happy_.

"That's great, little bro." Wes grinned wide toward him. "You'll probably have more fun without me around."

"Yeah, we will have a lot of fun. I'll make sure there isn't a boring moment at a―"

His phone started ringing. He grabbed his phone and his eyes bulged out of his eyes. The caller ID was _Anya Hepburn_. His heart immediately started to race.

"I― I've to take this." He dashed out of the bedroom with his phone. He burst out of the apartment before he answered the call. "It's Soul."

"Who do you think you are?"

His eyes fluttered. This wasn't what he expected really, but he was just so relieved to hear her voice again. Her voice was still so light and elegant even if she was chewing him out.

"You read my message. You know who I am."

"Of course I do now. I called your mother and she told me _everything_. Riding a motorcycle _without a helmet!_ I don't even know why you would even get _on_ a bike to begin with!"

The corners' of his mouth twitched at the familiarity of her. "I don't even know either. I don't really know _anything_."

"What is it you even want to know about?"

"What happened really? The last memory I have is around the time we moved into the apartment and started college. What I know is just over a half a year later, I stopped talking to my parents, we had broken up and I had become a biker."

"I see…" she murmured into the phone. "Will you be in Death City in a week or two?"

"Yes. It's not like I have anywhere to go."

"I'll be around the area for business. I could meet up with you and I could answer all of your questions in person."

A smile grew on his face and he nodded eagerly just to realize she couldn't see him. "Yeah, that would be really good."

"I'll text you the location and place where to meet up. And Soul, it's nice knowing you didn't get completely mangled in the accident."

"Yeah…" he breathed. "It's nice to be alive."

They hung up and he was left wearing a goofy smile on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

When Wes went away for his business trip, things didn't change that much. Maka could finally give her back a proper good night's sleep now when the guest bed was available. It was as if they were roommates. In the morning, they would make breakfast together, eat together and either he would go over to his parents' apartment to hang out with his family, but when she was busy with her job, he would just stay home and take care of the apartment, cleaning up or buy some groceries. Since he had forgotten all the passwords and accounts, he couldn't really pay the bills, but Maka was more than happy to take care of that part of their life.

But today was going to be different. Today he wouldn't stay at home and clean or go to his mother's. Today was the day. He would finally see Anya again. He was so nervous. His heart was racing in his chest and for the first time since he woke up in the hospital, he was really confused to what to do. His mind and heart told him to just go up and kiss her like he always did, but his consciousness knew he couldn't do that anymore. They had been broken up for years and even if he was still living in the memory of them being a couple, they weren't.

He exhaled sharply as he tied the blue silk tie around his neck, the colour he knew she loved. He'd taken the extra time to comb his hair backwards and used Maka's hairspray to make it stick. Just how Anya liked it.

At the back of his mind, he couldn't stop thinking of all the things he did for Anya. Getting all dressed up and feeling so nervous for it, but yet he hadn't done anything like this for Maka.

He pushed the thought at the back of his head.

He sighed as he straightened out the tie. He looked good. He looked cleaned up and ready for anything.

"Breakfast is getting cold― wow." Maka entered the bedroom and in the reflection of the mirror, her eyes widened. "You look really good!"

He turned around and smiled toward her. "I do?"

"Yeah! I like what you did with your hair." She neared him and she her eyes seemingly darkened. "It's… different. I like it."

"Um." His throat tightened at the predatory glint in her eyes and he backed away. "I-it's good then."

"So, we don't really want to spoil all the effort you put into your appearance. How about we go out for dinner tonight?"

"Sure. I guess."

"Great." She clasped her hands together. "Come on, eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

"Yeah." He could only grin.

He was hot.

After they had eaten their breakfast, Maka went to work and he waited around for lunch to finally arrive when he would meet up with Anya. The TV couldn't keep him distracted. He would check the phone for every minute that went. He was so nervous. It was like he was back to the moment when he asked Anya to be his girlfriend. What if she was single? What if she still had feelings for him? What if… what if he could go back to the life he remembered?

What if things could just go back to normal? It would be… it would be great. He could be back in law school with Anya and everything would be just the way he remembered it. He… he wanted all of that back.

But it would hurt Maka. Everything she had done for him, he didn't want to disappoint her, but could he even love her? She was attractive and he would consider her his friend, he guessed, but something more? Just the thought of being married and loving her seemed so foreign to him. Maka was too kind. She didn't deserve him to just dump her and move on, but at the same time, if he could be with Anya again, she would understand, right? She was always so understanding.

He… just wanted to finally find out who he was and find his way back to… whoever he was. To finally live a normal life. But he didn't know how to do that. For one second he wanted to know who exactly he was and what he was living for. Now… he couldn't even say anything he knew for certain about himself.

Time finally arrived and he exited the apartment. His heart was banging against his ribcage as he sat on the train toward the location.

This. This right here. This was what he needed. His life could go either way.

The train came to a stop and he went out. The restaurant they would meet at was near and just within a matter of minutes, he saw the sign. His breath was taken when he saw Anya standing outside of the restaurant.

She looked… not older, but more mature. Her cute cheeks were gone and she looked like a real woman in her pantsuit. Long blonde hair of sun rays and her blue eyes he adored. She… she looked so beautiful. Absolutely breath-taking. Heart hammering in his chest at the sight of her. This… this is how it's supposed to feel like.

He went over the street and caught her eyes. He waved toward her and she greeted him with a smile.

"Look at you," she said. "You look the same."

"You too. You sure look like a professional business woman." He opened up his arms and brought him into a hug. Her arms snaked around his waist and he buried his face in her hair. Blueberry. Her hair even smelled the same. It felt so good to have her in his arms again. Holding her small body against his chest, it almost felt as if he was back in their flat, holding her again and relishing in the home they were building together.

He wanted it back.

"Soul?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." He reluctantly pulled away from her and massaged the back of his head.

"Don't worry about it. Shall we go inside?"

He agreed and they entered the restaurant. The waitress led them to their table. They ordered their food and drinks.

"So, tell me, how is your life going?" Anya asked.

He chuckled drily. "I don't even know. Maka has told me I'm an owner of a recording studio, I've a bachelor in music and specialising in piano and I'm a biker."

"Who's Maka?"

"Maka's…" He rolled the different words he could say on his tongue. "… I married her before the accident."

"Do you like it?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Like the life you lived before the accident?"

"Oh no. I'm trying to connect with how I was before the accident but it's just…" He shook his head slowly, eyes shifting to the wedding ring on his finger. "I can't. It feels like it's a completely different person and not _me_."

"I got to tell you, but it really doesn't sound like you," she confessed. "But then again, you did change."

Soul tilted his head. "I… changed?"

Anya nodded after she took a sip from her water. "You did."

"What happened?"

"Where should I start?"

"The last thing I remember is us moving into our apartment and starting law school. Did you get your law degree?"

She smiled and nodded. "I did."

"Congratulations."

The waitress arrived with their food and in front of him was a steaming hot steak with fries. His stomach growled and mouth watered at the sight.

"So," she sighed. "It was good at the beginning. The first three months were great. We studied hard and you once in a while went and worked a little at your father's company."

"I did?" His eyes fluttered. "That early?" He expected he would work at his father's company. That was the plan all along. He would be the one to take it over when Wes refused and started his own company instead. But that early? He didn't expect it.

"You did. But then… I didn't really know what it was at the time, but you became distant. You stopped taking notes in class and you became quieter. You weren't sure anymore on law school."

"Why? I loved law."

"So I thought too." She took a bite of her pasta. "But… you were changing. The incident at your father's company didn't exactly help you."

"What incident?"

"You don't know? It's how you got that scar on your chest."

His eyes widened. His heart thumped in his chest as he tightened his grip on his utensils. She… She was just a beam of light shedding light on his unknown life the past years. This was more he could've asked for.

"Tell me. How did I get it?"

"It was one evening. You had just copied some papers for your father and you were leaving. I was waiting for you in our car to arrive. You had just come out of the employees' elevator when some guy had tried to enter it. You didn't recognize him as a part of the company and you stopped him, that's when he attacked you."

He could… it was so surreal. "I… I was attacked?"

"Yes. I noticed something wasn't wrong and I entered the building. That's when I found you lying all cut up on the ground and the receptionist called for an ambulance."

"Did you save my life?"

She nodded. "The doctors said if we hadn't kept pressure on your wound, you would've bled to death on the floor."

He gulped as he set down his knife and placed it on his chest where the scar was hidden beneath the fabric. "Was he caught?"

"Yes. They quickly found the guy with the help of the CCTV footage. Your parents were so furious they went hard on the guy in court and he's currently serving life in prison."

"But why was I attacked?"

"Your father's company isn't completely… ethical. The system he has built up can rip off people of their money. The guy put all of his savings into an account and the stocks crashed and he lost all of his money. From what I have heard, he had tried to get some money out of his useless share in the stocks, but he couldn't. That's when he decided he would attack your father."

"So… I took the blow instead of my father?"

"Yes. He was pretty pleased when he learned you were his son."

"I see…"

It… it seemed so crazy. The scar looked gruesome. He knew any ordinary event couldn't have caused it. It was way too clean of a slice to be any ordinary accident, but this? He would've never suspected a thing. Nothing like this. Especially at his father's company. Maybe in an alleyway late at night, but at the comfort of his father's company, he wouldn't have known.

"What happened after the attack?" he asked.

"You changed drastically. After you were discharged from the hospital, you only attended maybe one class every week and the rest you spent it either at home or arguing with your parents."

"I did? Why did I do all of that?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You decided you didn't want to go to law school anymore and you weren't sure any more about me."

His jaw tightened and he looked away. "You're saying I broke up with you?"

She nodded. "You did. Around Eastern you told me you didn't know anymore and you wanted to see how things were without me. So you broke up with me and the last thing I heard was you moved in with your brother in Death City. That's all I know."

"Okay," he sighed. "Wes and Maka told me I cut off all communication with my parents when I moved to Death City. Do you know anything about that?"

"No, I don't unfortunately."

"Okay…" he ran his hands through his hair. "Okay."

"At least you know something."

"I guess." He dragged his hands down his face and straightened his back. "Everything is… I just can't wrap my head around why everything turned out this way. I don't even know how _I_ could turn out that way."

"Do you know if you were happy before the accident?"

He nodded. "I do."

How he knew. All the pictures of him looking and smiling toward Maka were so obvious. He was incredibly happy remaining by her side. It was why Maka was still by his side taking care of him. What they had… it wasn't something you saw every day. They had… they had after all been on their way to create a family together.

"It's… so weird. I'm married to someone I don't know and certainly I don't love and… everything I do and know is wrong."

"Like a nineteen year old stuck inside of a grown man's body?"

Soul snorted. "More like a thirteen year old with all the identity crisis I'm having."

"Minus that awful yellow and black jacket."

Soul could only smile toward Anya.

This was what he wanted. This was how it was supposed to feel like when you were with someone you loved and deeply care about. The feeling he hadn't felt even the slightest around Maka. He… he wanted to be with Anya.

They finished their meal and they paid for the bill. He held the door open for her and they exited the restaurant.

"What will you do now?" Soul asked as he strolled by her side.

"I've wrapped up everything with a client so now I'll go home to Los Angeles."

He grabbed a hold of the sleeve of her coat and she halted, turning toward him. "Is there… is there a possibility that you might… you know… stay here longer?"

The faint smile she had worn melted on her face. She sighed heavily as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Soul. You have lost your memories. You're confused."

He shook his head. "Not when it comes to you. You mean the world to me and it was _you_ who I wanted to marry."

She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away gently, her sleeve slipping from his fingertips. "There's a reason we broke up, Soul. You changed once. Who says you won't do it again?"

"I won't. I promise. I love you so much and I want to be with _you_. I've missed you and thought about you every day since I woke up in the hospital."

"It's not something you can promise me."

"Yes, I can." He fell down to his knees and rested his forehead against the cobble stones. "I love you. I promise I'll stay with you and only you and I'll stay the way I am. I promise you I won't change. I won't walk away from you again."

Anya sighed. "Lift your head up."

He lifted his head up and saw Anya rummaging around in her purse. She pulled out a folder and a letter. "I didn't know if you wanted papers to prove your past, but I think you should have these." He accepted the folder and quizzically looked at the letter attached to it.

"What is this?"

"That's… I don't know if I should give you it even… but it's an invitation to a spring wedding. _My_ spring wedding."

His heart sunk to the pit of his stomach. The fluttery, hot sensation in his chest was destroyed and ripped to pieces. His jaw tightened as he with shaky hands pulled out the envelope and opened it up. He pulled out the paper and his eyes burned at the view of the invitation.

_Anya Hepburn and Tsugumi Harudori_.

"You're marrying _Tsugumi?_ " He remembered her. At least briefly. She had been her study buddy and they had become fast friends.

"You knew I was bi, Soul."

He shook his head furiously. "No, not that. _Tsugumi?_ Why her?"

"You know why it's her." Her voice dipped. "After you had broken up with me I was sad. We had to sell the apartment so quickly and I moved in with her. She was there for me and comforted me and… we realized how we felt for each other."

Tears burned in his eyes and he tried to keep them in to his best ability. He refused to cry. He didn't want to cry. _But he couldn't_. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks and his nails dug into the invitation. "Please, Anya…" he sniffled. "You know you can be happier with _me_. We've known each other since forever. You know me and you could―"

"No stop it." She kneeled down in front of him and grabbed a hold of his wrists. "I know you and I know it's better for us to remain _friends_. I love Tsugumi and I'm not going to leave her." Her thumbs ran over his wrists. "I'm sorry. You are my childhood friend and I was genuinely happy when you reached out to me. I want you to be at the wedding, but if you don't want to, you don't have to come."

He shook his head. "No." He leaned in to her and rested his forehead against her shoulder. "I-I'll be there."

She embraced him back and soothingly rubbed his back as he bawled his eyes out on her shoulders. "You'll get over me. You'll see. You've plenty of time to get over the pain."

Even all the time in the world and he wouldn't get over the pain.

…

Anya had to leave. She had offered to call him a cab to take him home, but he had insisted he could get home on his own. He… he had needed a moment to collect himself. As soon as Anya was gone from sight, he had retreated into an alleyway and hid behind a dumpster, resting his back against the brick wall as he cried.

This was what he got for breaking up with her. This was karma on the highest level. He dumped the most beautiful and best girl in the world, and now he was the one hurting. He deserved it. He screwed up majorly and now he was stuck with a woman he didn't love nor could ever love. He was set up for disaster and he would be miserable the rest of his life.

He fisted his hair as he buried his face between his pulled up legs. His tears soaking his pants and the cold air nibbled his tear tracks on his cheeks.

He hated this. He hated all of this!

His phone started ringing once again and he knew it was Maka. He knew all too well she had decided to have lunch at home and now when she didn't find him at home, she was searching for him.

He swallowed down his hurt and with shaky hands he pulled up his phone, staring at Maka's caller ID.

If he didn't answer then she would probably go on a witch hunt for him. Quickly he wiped away his tears and answered the call. "It's Soul."

"Hey, Soul. It's Maka."

His nails dug into his coat as he tried to maintain a steady voice.

"So what's going on? I noticed you weren't home at lunch."

Fuck. As much as he tried to restrain the hurt in his throat, it just kept growing and growing until new tears rolled down his cheeks. "Shit," he panted and Maka quickly snapped up on it.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"I-I…" he gulped. "C-can you come and get me?"

"Where are you?" In the speaker, her heels familiarly clicked against the floor and she went to the sound of her coat rustling.

"I'm… in some alleyway near Ceased Avenue. Close to that Italian place."

"Go toward the beginning of the alleyway. I'll be there as soon as I can."

They ended the call and on trembling legs, he made his way out of the alleyway. Maka kept her word and fifteen minutes later she rolled up. He jumped into the car and Maka killed the engine.

"What happened?" She turned toward him, gazing at him worriedly.

He madly shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it." He buried his face in his palms, hiding away his teary eyes from her watchful eyes.

"Oh Soul…" Maka whispered and her small hand was placed on his back, soothingly rubbing circles on his back. "You poor thing. What can I do to help you?"

"I-I just want to get back…"

"Back to the apartment?"

He nodded, hating the sniffle that escaped. "Y-yeah."

"I'll take you home then. I can work from home this afternoon and we could make hot cocoa and we can watch a movie. If you want that is."

He… not after this. He didn't want to be left alone. He gulped and nodded slowly. "I-I do."

…

It was only the start. After his sobbing had decreased, only an empty hollow sensation was left. He felt exhausted beyond realization. Never before had he felt a feeling like this one. This… this was the feeling of heartache. It sucked. It really sucked just like he had heard it did. He didn't even know what to do. He wanted to go after Anya and keep on begging her to take him back, to make a grand gesture of his affections to her hopefully win her over once again.

But he couldn't.

Anya had moved on just like he had. When he had moved to Death City and abandoned the life he knew too well in order to chase… something else. He had found Maka and married her, while Anya had found comfort in her friend who she grew feelings for. He was no longer on her mind. Tsugumi had taken his place within her heart. The thought sucked. It truly sucked badly.

She wouldn't love him again.

His grip on his mug of steaming of cocoa tightened and he bit his lower lip. He really didn't want to cry anymore.

Maka closed the folder. "Wow…" she placed it on the table.

He had given her permission to read through the folder, including the wedding invitation.

"Did you know all of that?" he asked.

She nodded. "Partial. It wasn't something we talked a lot about, but I knew you broke up with Anya because you changed. You didn't want to study law anymore and you wanted to move to Death City to study music. I also knew about the attack on you at your father's company."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He turned toward her.

She sighed heavily and she grabbed her own cup of hot cocoa. "I wanted to tell you, but you were getting so overwhelmed and I kept on put off on telling you."

"But what about the attack? I asked about the scar multiple times but you never told me."

"It was your brother's idea. Wes witnessed how you got more anxious after the attack. It was what triggered your anxiety and he made me promise not to tell you ever. It was hard for you to handle then, and we don't know how you would react to it now when you're… emotionally lost. We didn't want to make things harder for you."

It… it made sense. He guessed. He palmed his chest where the scar was hidden beneath his shirt. "Is it something more you know that I should know about?"

She hummed thoughtfully. "I don't think so."

"So you didn't know why me and my parents didn't talk?"

She shook his head. "No. You never wanted to talk about it and I just let it be the past."

"I see." Brought the cup of cocoa to his lips, taking a sip. The hot liquid pleasantly burned his throat, competing with the numbing pain in his heart.

"What are you going to do about the wedding?"

His throat tightened as she gestured toward the wedding invitation. "She… she wants me there… we're childhood friends after all…"

"Are you sure? I mean… the last memories you have are when you were together with her. Isn't it a little… weird watching your ex walk down the aisle?"

He swallowed down the sorrow.

Of course it was weird. It was heart-breaking. He loved her. She was his life partner and now he had to watch her go down the aisle with a different partner. How was he supposed to quietly sit back and watch her get married when he was still so in love with her? He was happy she was happy… but she could be happy with him too.

"It's something I have to push aside."

"I'm sure she would understand if you didn't show up. You got to think about yourself too." She placed her hand on his shoulder, comfortingly rubbing it. "Ever since the accident things has been difficult for you. I don't want you to make it more difficult than it already is."

"I know you care, but this is something I have to do. For Anya. I obviously broke her heart years ago when I ended things with her, she wants me there so I will be there."

"You don't have to repay her for breaking up with her. Breakups are natural when the relationship isn't working out—"

"Anya is my friend, more than just a friend. We grew up together and she has been there for me every step of the way. I'll be there for her on her wedding."

"I see…" she paused, mouth opening and closing. "Can… am I your friend?"

Soul snorted and looked down at his mug of cocoa. "I thought I was your husband."

"Legally you are, and in my heart you are, but to you I'm not sure what I am."

He sighed and drank some cocoa. "I know you want me to say you're my wife, but I can't look at you like that."

"And that's why I hope I'm something more than just a stranger to you." She squeezed his shoulder. "Relationships take time to grow, right?"

"Yeah… yeah they do." He placed the mug on the coffee table. "I do see you as a friend. A dear one. Everything you're doing for me… I'm really grateful for your help, but sometimes I'm just wondering why you're putting up with me as much as you do."

"I take the _in sickness and health_ part very seriously," she whispered as she placed her empty mug on the table as well, beaming at him with that playfulness glimmering in her eyes.

"So I'm sick now?"

"No." She slid closer to him and gently rested her head against his shoulder. "You're dealing with the consequences of an injury. Being sick and dealing with the aftermath is different."

He gulped nervously at her proximity, feeling her arm wrap around his waist. It didn't feel bad… it was kind of… nice. Especially now when he was hurting so. "Do you think I'll ever be able to return to who I was before the accident?"

"To be honest, I don't know. All I want for you is for you to find who you want to be and are happy being. All I hope is that I can still be a part of your life when you do."

The corners of his lips twitched and he gazed at her blonde hair and her head resting against his shoulder. He patted her clasped together hands by his waist. "I would want you as a part of my life in the future too."

He could feel her smile against his shoulders and the beaming joy radiating from her.

He rolled his eyes. "How about we watch a movie tonight? I'm feeling like getting in the mood for Christmas."

…

It was a crazy idea. A completely wild one that would turn everything upside-down. Shake every relationship he had, and maybe, be exactly what he needed, or it could be his worst nightmare.

He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. Instead of wearing his usual suits and polished shoes, he was in ripped jeans and a basic shirt; the clothes Maka told him he enjoyed wearing before the accident. The zip hoodie in his hand seemingly weighted tons instead of the usual weight of a blazer.

This. This was it. He was in desperate need of an identity. If he couldn't go back to Anya and live the life he remembered, then he had to become the Soul he forgot.

It was time for him to step within the shoes of Maka's husband.

It was the craziest but most genius idea he had gotten. Since he couldn't go back and be the Soul he remembered, it was time for him to truly be the Soul Maka remembered. Everything she had told him, he needed to keep in mind. This… he knew his life wasn't some kind of movie, but maybe… maybe it could get him to remember the years he forgot. Maybe… he could grow to love her. Maybe Maka could take Anya's place and he could be happy. With her. He was happy once with her, maybe he could be happy with her again.

He exhaled deeply as he put on the ziphoodie. Everything was different. Almost just like him in all of the photos. Except for his dyed brown hair. He could play the husband. He could _become_ that man. Then he wouldn't be in pain every time he thought about Anya's wedding. He wouldn't have to disappoint Maka every day when he still didn't remember. Still not moving an inch closer to loving her again. He caught those moments when her smile disappeared and hurt flickered in her eyes at the truth he didn't remember or love her before she would put up that usual cheerful facade once again. She didn't deserve that. She was a good girl.

He wanted to make her happy.

He couldn't make her happy the way he was now. And since he couldn't go back to his nineteen year old self with Anya, he had to pick up where he left off right before the accident. That Soul could make her happy and he wouldn't have to flounder around trying to catch smoke. He wouldn't have to be identity-less.

His gaze moved down to the wedding ring on his finger, the ring that seemed heavier than ever. He had worn it every day to please her and as an attempt at not disappointing her. She cared deeply for him and if wearing the piece of jewellery could make her slightly happy, then he would do it. The ring meant something to her, it was a symbol of their love, and now he would live up to that symbol. Or at least try to.

He turned toward the door and inhaled deeply.

Here goes nothing.

He pulled at the door handle and the smell of scrambled eggs filled the air. Maka stood in front of the stove and hummed just like normal. His hands tightened as he exited the bedroom.

"Good morning, darling." He tried to keep his voice as stable as possible as he went over to her.

She jumped on the spot and spun around, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. "W-what?"

Oh no. Didn't she like being called darling? Oh no, no, no, he should've made some more research on this before he decided to give this a try.

"I said," he wet his lips and offered a big smile. "Good morning, darling."

"G-good morning, Soul." Her cheeks flushed as she stood frozen on the spot as she tried to wrap her mind around this.

His jaw tightened as he hindered the uncomfortable feeling growing at the pit of his stomach the moment he wrapped his arms around her back, bringing her chest to chest. She gasped in surprise and he felt her breath hitting his face. Morning breath. Nice.

"Did you sleep well?"

"…Y-yeah?"

"Good." His hands wandered down and settled on her hips just how he had done on Anya when they were in a relationship. "Wasn't your important meeting with Arachnophobia today?"

"Um," she nodded her head. "Yeah? We want to wrap things up before Christmas." She backed away from his gasp. "Soul, are you… do you _remember_?"

His lips tightened before he shook his head. "No."

"Oh…" Her eyes fell to the floor so familiarly with disappointment dripping from her face. Quickly she covered it up with a smile. "Let's eat breakfast!"

He clenched his hands. "… sure."

Whatever he did, he disappointed her.

But he couldn't give up at the first obstacle. If he just kept it up, it could shake up some memories or feelings or… just _something_. If he could go back, it would all be okay.

He wasn't going to give up.

"Why don't you sit down and rest and let me take care of it?" He reached out and gently caressed her shoulder and her gaze immediately darted to it as if it was a foreign object. "You've already slaved to make this breakfast. Let me do something for you." His heart raced as the word rung in his head and he let it out "… honey."

Her eyes fluttered at him with confusion. "O-okay…?" She turned off the stove and took off her apron. He offered her a smile and let his fingers caress her arm as she went away, something she would hopefully grade as romantic or even caring.

He decorated the table and every time he could, he would either touch her shoulder or rub her back, taking every chance he could to touch her and provoke some sort of reaction within him, but it did nothing. He felt nothing but unease for every touch that was supposed to be filled with affection and love. It felt wrong touching her like this. But if he kept it up, it could help him. It wasn't even working on Maka. For every time he touched her, she would jump in surprise.

He whipped up her usual sandwich she ate for breakfast, but with a twist. The plate clicked as he placed the heart-shaped sandwich in front of her.

"Um… Soul?" she spoke after he brushed her hair behind her shoulder and let his fingers feather over her neck.

"Yeah?" She slid down in his seat in front of her, stretching his legs toward her and let his feet affectionately touch hers. Her feet tensed and she pulled hers away.

"What are you doing?"

"Doing what? Can't I do something nice for my wife?"

"No, it's not that," she sighed. "I really do enjoy it when you're affectionate and doing this for me, but I can feel this is so forced. I don't want you to push yourself to do something like this when your heart isn't in it."

His gaze fell down to his plate of scrambled eggs. "I know I'm forcing this, but I'm just trying to find back to the way I lived."

"This obviously isn't the way," she said gently and leaned over to the table, placing her hand on his. He lifted his gaze and was met with her soft smile. "Nothing good will come out of forced actions. I don't want you to force yourself like this to make me happy. I would rather have you trying to figure everything out with the ways you're comfortable doing than pushing yourself like this."

"We have already tried for… what? Two months now? I'm not any closer at figuring out who I am than the day I woke up in the hospital." He rested his chin on the palm of his hand. "What if I won't ever remember? What if I will be stuck in this limbo of a life until I die?"

"We will figure something out." She squeezed his hand and her thumb caressed his. "If you won't remember, then we will create a new identity for you. We'll find a way for you to live a good life."

Create a new identity…?

He hadn't thought about it before, but he could. He couldn't live the life he remembered, nor the life he forgot, so why didn't he just craft himself a new identity he was comfortable with? There was a truth within Maka's spoken words and he could feel it in the core. He… he needed to walk his own path.

"You think it will work?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't see why it wouldn't. It's easier than trying to regain your memories and I think it would make you a lot happier."

"What if I won't like my new life?"

"Who says you will like the way you lived before the accident? You didn't like your motorcycle and you don't have an interest in the piano. Besides, it will be _your_ life. You can do whatever with it. You can tailor it to your liking so you will be happy."

It was an idea.

He pulled his hand away from hers and ran his hands through his hair. "You've a point. But where am I even going to start?"

"You can start by getting out of those clothes and get dressed in something more comfortable." She smiled wide and leaned on her elbows. "How about that grey suit with the light blue tie? You seem to be very fond of that suit."

He chuckled. "I do like that suit."

"And…" her voice trailed off as her focus lowered. "That ring…"

He followed her gaze and found it focused on his wedding ring. "What about it?"

"You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

"But you…" his voice faltered.

She offered him a small smile. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings. That ring is a symbol of our love and our union. If you don't feel that way, you don't have to wear it. And now when you're going to start new and walk your own path, you don't have to have it dragging you down."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "Yes. It's not like I'm going to throw it away. I'll keep it safe if you feel like wearing it again."

A smile grew on his face. She was too caring indeed. She put her own feelings aside for him and let him break from the past and live in the presence. He grabbed the silver wedding ring and wiggled it loose from his finger. It left a slight mark and his skin was slightly paler where the ring usually was. He placed the ring in front of her.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Finish eating up your breakfast before you get changed. Do you want me to drive you to your parents' place?"

"Yeah, it would be great."

Wearing his old clothes and pretending to be her husband did give him some clarity.

When he had finished his breakfast and went to his room, he didn't caught sight of the tears rising in her eyes as she clung to the wedding ring.


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

"I want to sell the studio."

His mother flipped around immediately and ignored the clothing rack in front of her. "What?"

"I want to sell the recording studio," he repeated a lot slower.

His mother paused and put back the blouse she had held in her hands on the hanger. "Have you talked about this with Maka?"

He shook his head. "Not yet."

"Have you visited the studio?"

"No."

"Don't you want to see it before you sell? Isn't it something Maka would want you to do before you make that decision?"

Of course she would. All the times she had asked him if he wanted to visit it and he rejected it, he always saw the sadness in her eyes. When they had agreed on going to the record studio and he cancelled, she was hurt. The record studio meant something to her. He knew this decision will hurt her, but it was what she had said. He needed to create his own identity. The first step was to sell it and get rid of the strain on Maka's economy. He wasn't going to just pick up the music thing again. It was time to let it go.

"Maka and I had a talk this morning and we both agreed I should do what I'm comfortable doing and get back on my feet on my own terms. She will understand it."

His mother nodded her head slowly. "Alright. Do you want me to hire someone to take care of it all?"

"I was hoping you would offer. I don't want to burden Maka with all of this now when she already has a lot on her plate."

A large smile grew on her crimson lips. "Sounds like you are very concerned about her."

"I am. She's bending backwards for me to feel comfortable and figure everything out. She's… she's juggling so many things at once in order to keep me focused on recovering. I'm really grateful to her."

"She is a very special woman and she sure loves you a lot."

He cringed at the L-word so effortlessly dropped. She loved him. He wasn't stupid. They were married and she was doing all of these things for him. He knew she cared for him a lot, but just the thought of her loving him made him uneasy. He didn't love her. His heart still belonged to Anya. He was expected to fall in love with her but he just… if he was meant to fall in love with her wouldn't he have already done it?

"I'm glad it was her I married." He settled on.

"She truly is a gem among pebbles. She fits in quite nicely in the Evans family."

"Do you really think so?"

"Of course. She is highly intelligent and truly passionate about her work. She has a backbone and she stands up for what she believes in. I'm sure the other men she's in contact with is simply waiting in line for a moment of her attention. She's the right balance between work and family. She truly cares about you. She's passable manners although they might need some work. I don't know if you've taken the time to notice, but she's quite a beauty. She's truly a woman worthy of the Evans name."

His breath was stolen as he just stared at his mother counting up all of her characteristics. He hadn't even thought about all of Maka's traits in that light. She truly was a gem and the perfect wife. There wasn't any other woman he knew who would be more perfect for that title (except for Anya). It was… quite unbelievable. Maka was so perfect. He had really won the lottery by marrying her. How could she, a successful woman in her career and looks like a supermodel have chosen someone like _him_. He barely even had a career and his appearance was far from desirable. It was a wonder how he could've married someone as great like her.

He didn't even know what to do with the information. All he could feel was the guilt eating at his conscious. He had such an amazing woman by his side and he couldn't do the thing to make her happy. If he could turn off his feelings for Anya and love her, he would. Maka deserved it. He had been happy with her once, so who said he couldn't be happy now?

"Does this mean you have finally buried the hatchet between you two?"

"Well, it made me go _a little_ easier on her as soon as I learned she lost her mother in cancer."

His eyes fluttered. "In cancer?"

"She hasn't told you?"

He remembered it. It was briefly. She had told him she lost her mother, but she never said anything more about it. "No. She hasn't."

"Oh, then maybe I shouldn't tell you."

He shook his head. "Please don't. I'm sure she won't appreciate someone digging around in her past. Seriously, you don't need to check her past."

"What? I needed to know who exactly I was letting inside of my family. I had to make sure you were in good hands."

"Why couldn't you get to know her just the normal way?"

"Because if she had any skeletons in her closet they would never come out. At least my way we will know immediately if it's someone we can trust or not."

He sighed and shook his head slowly. Protective as always. His mother will always have his back.

"And have you and Maka talked anything about Christmas?" she asked as she examined the fabrics quality of the blouse.

"Not really. She told me it used to me, her and a couple of friends of ours. Maybe her father too if he was in the area."

"Why don't you two come and celebrate Christmas with us. It will be just like when you and Wes were younger."

Soul's throat tightened and his hands balled at the memory he had of Christmas with his family, and the one relative he enjoyed spending all of his time with. "I haven't asked before but… I take it nana is dead by now?"

Kathrine lifted her focus from the clothing and sadly nodded. "Yes."

"Did she suffer?"

She shook her head. "She died of old age in her sleep."

"I see…"

"Don't worry. She lived her life to the fullest." Comforting his mother placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it soothingly "Christmas will be plenty fun. I'll make my special roasted turkey. I'm sure Maka would enjoy spending Christmas with a family for a change."

"Yeah, sure, I was pretty much prepared to spend Christmas with you and I'm sure Maka will come along." Or rather, he was absolutely sure she would tag along. Wherever he went, Maka wasn't far off.

"You'll see. This will be the best Christmas in a long time. Have you though what you will give Maka as a Christmas gift?"

He hadn't given it a thought. Not even once. Maka surly had something planned out already for Christmas, but what would he give her? She adored books, but he didn't even know what kind of book he would give her. She liked romance novels and books about finance, but that was it. With the amount of books in the living room, it would be hard to find anything she _hadn't_ read. He could give her jewellery. His father had always a habit of giving his mother all kinds of jewellery, but she enjoyed all of that. The only jewellery he had seen Maka wearing was her wedding and engagement rings. But she did use a silver clip in her hair.

He could get her another clip for her hair since she adored getting some of her hair off her face. She would be happy getting one? Right?

"I think I'm going to give her a hair clip."

"And?"

He shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know. Isn't a hair clip enough?"

"If it isn't made out of white gold and diamonds. No."

"I don't know what to give her other than that."

"Don't worry. You have a couple of days more before Christmas. You have time to figure it out." She hung the hanger back on a rack and she quickly started rummaging through her purse. She pulled up her wallet and retrieved a card. "Take this. It's unlimited. Buy something nice for her and if you need anything else, use it as you like."

He accepted the credit card and put it inside of his obscene wallet with the chain. He needed to get rid of it. "Thank you. I'll make sure I'll pay it back."

"Oh no. There's no need. You know I like spoiling you."

The corners' of his lips twitched. "You do."

"Shall we leave and search for a pretty hair clip for Maka? None of these clothes are up to my quality standards anyway."

"Sure."

…

After they had found a good hair clip for Maka, his mother had taken it with her and dropped him off at her work. In his hand he held the two boxes of Chinese takeout he knew Maka adored so much. Hopefully it would help him break the news to her about selling the recording studio. Her meeting should've ended around now so she should be available for some lunch if she hasn't already left.

The sliding doors opened and the warmth within the building greeted him.

The building was really nice. Nice marble floors, high ceilings with floor to ceiling windows. A truly professional welcoming.

"Soul?"

He stopped in his tracks and looked around, his eyes settled on one of the girls behind the front desk waving toward him.

"It is you. I almost didn't recognize you with your dyed hair."

Hesitantly he moved up toward the woman with the high black ponytail. He recognized her from somewhere… but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Do we know each other?" he asked.

"I'm Tsubaki Nakatsukasa. I'm the one who was supposed to check on you when you were discharged from the hospital."

It clicked. It was the wedding photos! She was the woman in the wedding photos. She was one of their friends before the accident.

"Um, I'm Soul."

"It's nice to finally meet you." She held out her hand and Soul uncertainly grabbed it.

"Yeah, you too."

She released his hand and rested her elbows on the surface of the front desk. "Black*Star has been looking forward seeing you again. He can't stop ranting about meeting his bro again and introduce you to his new gym."

He raised his eyebrow. "Oh, I take it we were close?"

"Yes, we were practically family. We used to spend every holiday together."

So they were _the friends_.

"So I take it you're here to visit Maka?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I brought her some lunch. Do you know where her office is?"

"Yes, her office is on the fifth floor, down the corridor to the right. You can't miss it." She retrieved a card from a box and handed it to her. "You'll use this card on the elevator since I take it you don't have your card with you?"

His eyes fluttered. "I've my own card?"

"Yes. We issued you a card a couple of years ago since you came with Wes's things quite often."

"Oh…" He pulled out his wallet. "If I had it with me, it would probably be―"

"There it is!" She pointed toward the edge of a white card. He pulled it out and there it was the logo of Wes's company. "Then you're ready to go. The elevator is just up ahead. You can take the one farthest away. It's the employees' elevator and it will take you near Maka's office."

"Okay, thanks." He pocketed his wallet and headed toward the elevator. He pressed the elevator button and it lit up. A few moments the doors slid open and a stampede of men in suits flowed out. He gulped and barely jumped to the side at the inconsiderable employees starving for some lunch. Once the seemingly endless elevator was emptied out, he slipped inside and bleeped his card and pressed the fifth floor button.

He sighed as he leaned against the elevator wall, holding his hand over his chest where his heart started picking up its pace.

Just breathe.

The door slid open at the fifth floor and a stream of sweaty employees hurried inside and buried him in the corner, bodies mushed together for everybody to fit inside of the elevator. No sound left his mouth. It was like plastic covered his mouth and nose as their bodies of the two older men pressed him into a corner.

Shit. His heart was starting to race even more and his tie was suddenly so tight. He wormed his arm up his body and pulled at the tie.

It was _really_ hot.

It felt like it took forever before he was back on the ground floor and the elevator emptied out, but even though he was no longer pushed toward the wall, the sensation lingered. His freaking tie was still too tight! He groaned with frustration as he pressed the fifth button repeatedly as he unbuttoned the two top buttons on his shirt. He tried to fan himself to cool him down, but the sweat stuck his shirt to him like a glove.

He just needed to get the fuck away from here.

As soon as the doors opened he pushed his way out of the elevator.

All he could see was the employees walking in the corridors. All the people walking by were black blurs. He ran his hand through his hair as he hurried down the corridor.

Anywhere would be better than staying there.

…

"…and you can see everything is prepared to launch after New Year's Eve," Maka said as she pointed toward the last power point page. "We have the right price for the fund. It's a humane and realistic price for both parties to profit from this fund."

"That is very interesting," Miss Arachne spoke with an era of elegance and authority. "So everything is prepared for launching at this moment?"

"Yes."

"Good. How are you planning on advertising for this?"

"At the beginning we will first put out the information on the website and create brochures, and then we'll make adversities on tv and on social media."

"Don't worry about that part," Miss Arachne dismissed her. "We can take care of the advertisement. In fact, I've contacts within the field who could make exquisite advertisement for a cheap price."

"Oh." She hadn't expected it. "That's great."

"Yes it is." Miss Arachne reached into her stylish portfolio. "I prepared a contact for you to sign to make it official we will take care of the advertisement."

"Oka…" her voice faltered when through the class wall, she saw a characters who looked a lot like Soul. The man's hand ran through his brown hair and sweat ran down his forehead. She caught sights of very red eyes as he ran passed the conference room. "Excuse me, I'll have to cut this meeting short―"

"But you need to sign the contact," Miss Arachne persisted.

"I'll have my lawyer taking a look at it―"

"We need it signed today if we want quality advertisement for launching date."

Maka bit her lip and she looked in the direction Soul had disappeared to. He looked quite distressed. She feared… it could be his anxiety making an appearance again. If so, she had to be there for him as soon as possible!

"Okay, fine." She quickly grabbed the pen and the contract. She left her signature on the contract. "Excuse me, but I got to go. You know where the exit is."

She burst out of the conference room and headed after him. In the middle of the corridor was a plastic bag and two containers with food spilled out. The smell was unmistakable; in one of the containers was her favourite noodles.

It had to be Soul.

"Soul!" She called out as she rounded a corner. She slammed into a wall of flesh. She massaged her nose as she gazed at the employee. "Have you seen Soul? Brown hair, red eyes. Quite distressed at the moment?"

"Since when did Soul change his hair colour?" the employee asked.

"Have you seen him?" She sternly said.

"There was someone who were quite stressed out in the bathroom with brown hair, but he didn't―"

She didn't care, she rushed passed him with her eyes fixated on the male's bathroom.

…

Soul's hands trembled madly as he repeated splashed his face with water. His body was burning up, his shirt was drenched in sweat and his breathing refused to slow down.

He couldn't breathe.

_He couldn't breathe!_

The water did nothing to cool down his overheating body. He was still so freaking hot! On trembling feet he backed away from the sink and started ripping at his suit jacket. Off! Off! It had to come off _now!_

He threw the jacket on the floor and his knees gave in. He fell to the floor and he grabbed a hold of his head.

What was it Maka told him to do? What was it she told him to do when the sensation of overwhelm would come over him.

He didn't remember!

What would he do?!

The door slammed open and before he knew it, his name rung within the room. Tiny hands grabbed his wrists and he was met with Maka's green eyes.

"M-Maka," he stuttered.

"Slow breathing, okay?" she spoke clearly as she took a seat beside him, arms sliding around his shoulders and holding him close to her. "Tell me five things you can see."

"Clinker… my jacket… toilet paper… your shoes… skirt…" he started to count up as he tried to follow Maka's slow but loud breathing.

"Good, what four things can you touch?"

He gulped for air as he leaned into her touch. "Floor… sink… you… your arms…"

"Three things you can hear?"

"Your voice… your breathing…" His eyes fluttered shut as he felt his heartbeat slowing down. "… your heart."

"You're doing really well. Two things you can smell."

Smell? The only thing he could feel was the comforting warmth of Maka's embrace and her soft neck nuzzling his nose. Her hair tickled his neck and her fingers running through his hair slowly and assuring that he was okay. He was safe. Nothing bad would happen to him. Not now when she was with him.

"You…" he whispered against her neck.

"And?"

"You."

"You can't say the same thing twice."

"Yes I can and I'm doing it."

She giggled sweetly as her hand settled on the nap of his neck, thumb soothingly rubbing his skin. "Sounds like you're much better."

"Yeah…" he breathed. "For now."

This feeling… it just kept on coming back. He had to keep up with his medication to relax his muscles and get some of the tension away. He had lived with Maka for two months and alone with her these passed days. She had become someone more than a stranger. She was his friend. He was comfortable around her, but every day he woke up, he needed to take his pill for the pain in his back to go away. Just being pressed up against the wall in the tiny overstuffed elevator had caused the same reactions as he did when he saw the wedding video. This entire time Maka had haggled him about his anxiety and how he needed to take his anti-depression pills.

As much as he grimaced at the thought, just entertaining the thought was odd, that _he_ was one of those who would have to rely on pills to keep his mood in check and if he didn't get his fix, he would go all crazy on people like those in the horror movies. It just couldn't be.

But it had happened, hadn't it?

"I…" he gulped. "I have anxiety… don't I?"

"You do…" she whispered, not at all boisterous or bragging like he thought she would. But then again, this was Maka. Bragging about her accomplishes wasn't in her nature like his parents showing off all of their projects and winnings. Maka… she was different.

"What will I do…?" he exhaled his question as he leaned into her touch, accepting her and her sweet comforting touch. "I don't know anymore…"

"You do like we agreed on. You do what you want to do and what feels right to do."

"You're not pushing me to take the pills?"

She shook her head gently so she wouldn't ruin the moment. "No. I can't force you to do something you don't want to do, but I do advice you to start taking your pills. You won't have these anxiety episodes as frequent as you have and you wouldn't have to take those muscle relaxation pills anymore."

His mouth tightened and his hands fisted her jacket. "I don't know…" he clenched his jaw as he squeezes his eyes forcefully, just hoping his tears wouldn't leak through. Evanses didn't cry. His legal name may be Albarn but he was still an Evans at heart and Evanses didn't cry at all. "I just don't know a shit anymore."

"Hey, hey…" She patted his shoulder as her grip on him tightened. "I know this must be really hard for you, just let it all out. Keeping it bottled up isn't healthy for you."

"No, no, d-don't make me." His voice cracked and the floodgates burst open. Tears leaked through his eyelids and ran down his cheeks. "O-oh fuck," he cursed. "I'm so sorry." Her arms tightened around him when he tried to back away from her.

"Don't apologize… I'm here… you can let it all out."

He hated this. He fucking hated all of this. This fucking anxiety and his lack of self and how he was fucking stuck in a twenty-six year old body when he was mentally still nineteen and dating Anya. This… this was all just too much. He didn't even know what was up and what was down. He didn't even know how to orientate around in this world. Why was he even here? Nothing was the way he remembered it and he didn't even know how to deal with anything. He was stuck in a loop going round and round and round and he didn't know how to break the cycle. This wasn't the life he wanted to live. This wasn't the life he planned to live.

"I-I just don't know…" he confessed through his tears. "All of this… it's so absurd and nothing is the same and… I don't know who I am."

"I get it…" she murmured as she held him close to him. "But you're getting there… you know now more about you than when you woke up in the hospital."

"W-what?" he stuttered.

"In the hospital, you clung onto your memories and refused to listen to facts… now you dress the way that makes _you_ feel comfortable. You dyed your hair to make yourself more _you_. You're taking steps and measures to get to know _you_ better and I know… it is just a matter of time before you know who you are."

"You think so?" he sniffled.

"I don't think, I _know_."

"H-how?"

"Because you aren't weak. You draw lines you don't want to cross and every day you choose the limits you want to push. It was _you_ who got the information you wanted behind your scar and it's you who wanted to see the bike. If you were weak, you wouldn't have done even a single thing out of them, but you are. You're so incredibly strong and I admire your strength to keep going even though you don't remember anything from the past years."

He… he hadn't thought about it that way. All this time he thought he was weak for not finding who he was. Two months had past and he felt like he had been wandering around in circles. He had disappointed Maka so much with his lack of progress and all he wanted… he just didn't want to be like this anymore. He wanted to be able to look her in the eyes and say he had made it. He had discovered the last piece to his puzzle for the mystery of who he was.

"You're… y-you're not disappointed?"

"Why would I be?" she questioned him with such wonder in her voice.

"Because every time when I'm not… I'm not Soul who you married. You always… _always_ look so sad every time I can't be affectionate with you the way I was and… and how I can't care about you the way I did."

"I'm not disappointed," she spoke earnestly. "Hurt, yes, because that's what I want more than ever, but I know those are things I can't get. But I don't hold it against you. I'm not expecting you to fall in line or something. All I'm hoping for is for you to find who you are and I hope that includes me as your life partner."

His jaw tightened and he closed his eyes, burying his head into her tear-stained shirt. "You know… I'm really happy I ended up marrying you instead of some wife who would leave me the moment she learned I didn't remember her…"

"Thank you. It means a lot to me to hear you say that." A pressure appeared on top of his head and he was sure it was her lips pressing a soft kiss on his head. It… it wasn't exactly uncomfortable. He was so exhausted he didn't really care, didn't have the energy to feel if it was okay or not, but he did appreciate the gesture.

A silence stretched between them as she kept on running her hand through his hair as she held him tightly in her arms. His tears grew further apart and his sobbing died down. Just… being in Maka's arms had a healing effect. He felt so incredibly safe and he knew as long as Maka was close to him, everything would be okay.

"Thanks you." He broke the silence. "You know, for doing all of this for me."

"It's nothing. I'm always here for you," she whispered back. "I don't know about you, but I'm quite hungry. Want to go and get something to eat?"

He nodded. "Yeah… I had actually planned to surprise you with lunch, but look how that went."

"It's the thought that counts." Her hand settled on his neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles on his skin.

"Thoughts don't bring you anything."

"But it does warm my heart." Her fingers returned to play with his hair and surprisingly, it was more comfortable than he thought it would be. An image of a cat enjoying a good petting came to his mind and he hoped he resembled nothing like it. Goosebumps rose on his neck at the pleasant feeling of her fingers petting and entwining in his locks.

"Let's go and get some lunch. I know a good place not too far from here."

"Okay."

They separated and the sweet warmth sensation left with her as she got up on her feet. He rose and she handed him his suit jacket. Gratefully he accepted it and put it on. Maka buttoned his shirt and started fixing his tie.

"There, now you look presentable."

"Thank you." He ran his hands through his hair and fixed his mop of messy hair. "Hey, how did the meeting with Arachnophobia go?"

"It went great. We're ready to launch after New Year's Eve." She smiled toward him as her hand traced his arm.

"I hope I didn't disturb your meeting."

"No you didn't." Her hand settled and patted his bicep. "It had ended when I spotted you running through the corridor."

"Good… that's great actually."

"Come on, let's get something to eat."

…

It was hard. He couldn't tell her during the lunch. He knew the news would crush her. He couldn't take it away from her now when she was so happy about her project. She wouldn't stop gushing on how long she had worked on the fund and now when she had an investor and they were on the doorstep of launching it.

He couldn't take that away from her.

At least he couldn't break the news now.

"… like, if a year ago someone told me I would be launching it after New Year's Eve, I would tell them they were full of it." Maka kept rambling as she chopped the onion. "It's so unbelievable, but it's finally happening."

"I'm happy for you," he spoke.

"And when we've the launching party, you got to come and celebrate it."

His eyes fluttered as he lifted his gaze from the potato in his hand. "Huh?"

"You got to come and celebrate it with me. I couldn't have done this if it weren't for you."

" _Me?_ " Soul was flabbergasted. "More like I was an obstacle."

"Of course you weren't. Before the accident you were very supporting and understanding and after the accident you made it possible for me to keep working on the project. You were always so understanding when I had to skip a movie night in order to work or the times when I worked overtime and you had dinner prepared for me when I came back home."

"I was just trying to help."

"And helped you certainly did. Those small things were so helpful to me. This is just as much of an achievement for me as it is to you." She smiled wide as she placed the knife on the counter. "With this project, we get a boost in our economy I can finally keep up with our payment plans and get the debt collectors off our backs."

He stopped in his tracks and he lowered the peeler.

It wasn't a secret that they had student loans to pay off, but Maka had always assured him everything was under control. Always telling him they didn't need to ask his parents for money since everything was under control. Their economy was strained, but they managed.

"Debt collectors?" he asked. "Maka, how far into debt are we even?"

She bit her lower lip and she raised her hands. "Okay, Soul, you got to trust me on this, everything is under control."

"Control? How can it be under control if you have debt collectors on our backs?"

"I know it sounds bad, but I honestly have it under—"

"How can it be under control if you've _debt collectors_ on your case?"

She silenced and she murmured softly. "I didn't want to worry you."

"And I don't want you to burden yourself till you crack under the pressure because of me." He rounded the table to her side. "How bad is it?"

"It's…" she sighed and grabbed a towel, whipping her hands before she headed into the living room, to the bookshelf where she pulled out a stack of papers. The springs in the couch shrieked as she took a seat, patting the space beside her. He quickly wiped his hands and took a seat beside her.

"Are these our debts?"

She nodded. "Student loans, loan for the recording studio and the hospital bill. Everything is right here." She handed the papers to him.

He gulped loudly as he went through the bills. It… they were _really in debt_. It was like a stone in his stomach as he went through every bill and the numbers grew higher and higher and the red stamp _PAST DUE_ glared at him.

He bit his lower lip as he stared at his hospital bill. A long list of medical procedures that made the stone in his stomach only grow heavier and heavier just looking at all the huge amounts add up to an unbelievable huge sum. She did work within the finance business and would earn a lot of money… if she didn't work at Wes's humane company which focused on customer satisfaction and not profit. This… it would be difficult to pay off with just her salary.

This bill… it was his fault for burdening her so much. He wasn't just putting a strain on her emotionally, but financially too. No wonder if she would crack any day with all the responsibility and duties on her.

He flipped through the papers until he found the recording studio bill and the number glared at him.

It was his fault… and he needed to solve it.

"I know how we could get rid of some of the debt."

"No, Soul," Maka immediately started protesting. "We aren't going to ask for your parents help. This is between you and me and I told you, I'll take care of it all. As soon as the project starts we will get some extra money and I could pay off all the loans."

"It's not that." He lowered the bill and placed it on the coffee table. "I think we should sell the recording studio."

A pregnant paus laid between them as Maka stared at him flabbergasted. " _What?_ "

"I think—"

"We can't _sell_ it. You worked so hard to start it up and what if you remember and then you've sold it— you _can't!_ "

"Maka." He grabbed her attention and placed his hand on her shoulder. "You remember what you said to me this morning?"

She nodded.

"You told me to do what _I_ want to do and the recording studio thing, I'm just not going to get into it."

"But Soul." Her voice fell and she grabbed a hold of his hand, entwining their fingers together. "You haven't even seen the recording studio. You haven't tried it out and you haven't—"

"Maka." He squeezed her hand, watching tears brim in her eyes. "I'm not going to wake up one day and be interested in music again. That isn't for me and as you said, I need to do what I'm comfortable with and selling the studio feels like the right thing to do."

"But what if you will regret it?"

"Then I could buy a new one. For now, this is the right thing to do. With the money you could pay off the loan and with the rest you could pay off a little of the hospital bill."

Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. Her hold on him tightened and she rested her forehead against his shoulder. His eyes widened at the contact, but allowed her to rest her head as she sobbed into his neck.

"Hey, no crying. This is a good thing. It will help our finances."

"It's not that," she sobbed and with her other hand tightly hugging his waist. "I-it feels like- like you're getting further and further away from m-me."

He couldn't say a word. What would he even say? He wasn't getting closer to becoming the man he was before the accident. For the first time since he woke up in the hospital, it was okay to be someone other than what he was taught he _should_ be like. And it felt good. It was… relieving to finally know he was allowed to be someone other than himself before the accident. It was okay for him to start exploring who he might be now.

At least he thought so.

"Do you regret what you said this morning?" he asked.

"O-of course not!" she hiccupped. "I-I want you to be happy. Even if it means turning your back on whom you were."

"It's not like I'm a completely different person. I'm still here."

"I-I know," she sniffled. "I-it's just emotional."

He closed his eyes and his arms wrapped around her waist, gingerly returning the embrace.

During the whole rollercoaster since he woke up from the hospital, he forgot he wasn't the only one left hurting. While he was stumbling around in the dark just trying to grasp his reality, Maka had done everything she could to help him; either by enabling him to focus on himself or releasing him from all responsibility as her husband. All this time she had been beside him, just hoping and longing for him to find his way back to who he was before the accident.

He knew she was hurting a little for every time he did something unlike the Soul she married, the hope would get crushed in her eyes. She was hurting more than she had led him on to believe. He was still here, but at the same time, he wasn't. He couldn't really understand it, but her husband stood in front of her this whole time, but at the same time he wasn't. He was always an arm's length away from her, almost able to reach him, but at the same time not.

He truly believed her when she said she wanted him to be happy. No doubt. She wanted him to be happy, even if it would come to cost her. She was incredibly selfless. But she was also human. Now when he was moving away from the person he was before the accident, it had to hurt her more than she showed.

This… this right here what was she was holding in the entire time.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. "If I could go back in time and undo the accident, I would do it within a heartbeat."

"Oh no, Soul," she sobbed. "D-don't feel guilty. I knew you might not ever remember me or you might not want to go back to your life. I knew things might turn like this… it's just difficult to take it all in."

"I'm not dead. I'm still here."

"Thank goodness for that." Her grip on him tightened as she cried loudly into his shoulder. "I just… I just don't want to lose you!"

A knot formed in his throat as he hugged her tightly in return. "Don't worry." He buried his face within her hair. "You're not going to lose me."


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

He laid awake on the morning of Christmas. Sun leaked through the curtains, going across the bed and lighting up the brick wall on the other side of the bedroom.

He couldn't sleep. Hadn't been able to sleep ever since the day Maka cried into his arms on the couch. He already had problems sleeping, but the images of Maka crying in his arms had made his stomach knotted anxiously. Seeing a crying Maka wasn't something he wanted to see ever again, but he didn't know what to do. This was only the beginning of his hunt for who he was right now. He was no longer chasing the person he remembered being or the man he was before the accident. Where his hunt would lead him, he had no idea. On his way, he could hurt her even more for every change he made, and he didn't want to do that.

What would he do? He didn't want to hurt Maka, but at the same time he needed to hunt for who he was right now. He felt it in his gut. At first he didn't want to listen to it. But it persisted, _demanded_ to be heard the moment silence would lie within the apartment and his back comfortably resting against the bed's mattress.

He needed to return to Los Angeles.

He didn't want to believe it at first. It would crush Maka if he left her. He couldn't walk away from her now, especially when she broke down and cried in his arms. He couldn't do that to her. But the voice persisted. This wasn't what he needed. In this city, he had been wandering around in circles trying to find who he was before the accident. Now when he wasn't searching for his past anymore, he needed to move forward. And it wasn't here.

He bit into his lower lip and he turned over on his side, eyes fixated on the small crack in the curtains.

He couldn't develop within Death City anymore. He had run into a dead end and he needed to do something different. The only thing that kept him here was Maka. But he couldn't do anything here. He didn't love her or see her in a romantic way at all. She was his friend. He wanted to keep her company, but at the same time, he needed to figure out who he was.

Confusion clouded his judgement as he was pulled at the two directions, staying in Death City with Maka or throwing himself out there and figuring out who he was. His brother and Maka certainly wanted him to stay, but what would he do? Maka was in debt and struggling to pay them off and he didn't know where to start. Could he even get a job? His degree in music was useless now when he didn't remember a single thing from his classes and he was sure no employer was exactly jumping in joy to hire him. Heck, he hadn't even held a job what he could recall. If he wanted to stay in Death City, he knew he had to do something to pull his weight, but he just _couldn't_. His parents were influential, but he was sure even if they stepped in and pulled on some strings, it would be difficult for them to find someone who wanted to hire a twenty-six year old with no experience he could recall. Then there was the anxiety factor weighing heavily in their decision. Could he work without getting those moments of panic? Honestly, he didn't know.

He didn't know anything anymore. Hadn't known anything ever since the whole in his memories appeared.

It was quite obvious. He needed to leave and return to Los Angeles with his family. It was the place he was comfortable being in and maybe then, he could find those missing pieces he needed to uncover who he was right now. He had run Death City dry and he needed to leave.

But then there was Maka. He genuinely didn't want to leave her. She would end up so hurt if he left her now. He couldn't do that to her.

He was going to stay here as long as she wanted him to.

He threw the blanket off him and his feet touched the cool wooden floor. He got dressed in his suit he had picked out for himself. The door creaked loudly when he exited the room. He made himself some breakfast and the door creaked open and Maka exited in her pyjamas.

"Merry Christmas," Soul greeted as he flipped a pancake.

"Merry Christmas," she groaned as she flopped down in her chair by the kitchen table.

"I take it you didn't sleep that well?"

She had her head buried in her arms and she shook her head. "No."

He chuckled as he placed the pancake one stack with three other pancakes. "Hopefully these pancakes won't kill your mood." After grabbing the plate, he settled it in front of Maka along with some utensils.

She immediately raised her head and stared at the pancakes in front of her with wide eyes. "You made pancakes?"

"Tried." He returned to the stove and poured some more batter into the pan. "I thought since it's Christmas and all, we could eat something different, but I probably should've made something different since they're harder to make than I thought."

"But they look pretty good for your first time making them."

He looked over his shoulder and raised his eyebrow. "Slightly burned and broken pancakes are _pretty good_ by your definition?"

"They're edible."

"Don't judge them quite yet."

She giggled and the utensils rustled as she grabbed them. He watched her carefully as she cut a slice and ate the small piece. Her face froze and he grinned amused at her struggling face.

"You can spit it out."

Before he had even finished his sentence, she spat it out and hurried over to the sink, lapping water right from the running tap. "I'm so sorry," she said between her sips. "I think you mixed the baking powder with the vanilla powder."

"I did?"

She turned off the tap and she turned toward him, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. "Try it."

He dipped his finger into the batter and sucked it off. His face immediately wrinkled at the taste and he spat it back into the bowl of batter. "That was disgusting."

"How about you get rid of the batter and wash up the pan while I remake the batter?"

"Yeah, totally."

It was relaxing. While Maka remade the batter and he washed the pan, it was so easy. The tension he had felt the first week he awoke from his accident was gone long since and he truly enjoyed her company. It was nice having company other than his brother. He knew if he had been there, he would've teased him for messing up pancakes when in fact, they both had grown up with a silver spoon in their mouths and Wes still didn't know how to cook even a fraction on the dishes Maka could. He even doubted his brother cooked twice a week. He probably ordered take outs every other day and ate the leftovers from it.

But with Maka, he never felt judged. Not even once had he felt like she judged him negatively and if there was something he didn't know, she was eager to teach him. She… he didn't know how to put it, but he wished he remembered her. He didn't love her or anything, he just wanted to remember to make her happy. Remember all those details that made her happy, especially the things that made her eyes sparkle in excitement.

He hoped his Christmas gift would lure out a reaction like that.

"The most important thing to remember when you make pancakes is to make sure to add a lot of butter or oil into the pan so the pancakes won't stick to it," she explained as she handed him the bottle of oil.

He grabbed it and slowly started pouring some into the pan. "A little bit more… and that's good."

He followed her every instruction from how much batter he would pour into the pan and when the flip them. It smelled lovely as it cooked in the pan and they looked ten times better than his. Maka truly was a goddess when it came to cooking.

"And that was the last pancake." Soul placed the last pancake on the plate and Maka took the two plates to the table. "You did very well!" she complimented him.

"Just because I had you as my instructor." She placed the pan in the sink, filling it with water before he took a seat by the table.

"But you really did well. You got it in you, you just got to learn how to use it." She grabbed her utensils and started cutting into the pancakes. "I'm sure you will enjoy cooking again once you learn it properly."

"It is already kind of nice," he commented as he played with his breakfast. "It's cool making food with someone."

Her cheeks heated and she smiled gently toward him. "I enjoy cooking with you too."

Maybe he shouldn't have said it quite like that. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea or give her unnecessary hope. "So, how long do you think it will take you to finish up your work?" he changed the subject.

"Wes and I will try to wrap it up as quickly as possible. It's just some last minute work for Arachnophobia. We'll be there as soon as possible."

"How long do you think it will take? Mom's kind of punctual."

"Um…" Maka tilted her head. "I think… we will absolutely be there by two."

Soul nodded. "Alright. Just make sure to be there by two. My mom will definitely get cranky if you're late on Christmas of all days."

"I know," she sighed, playing with her food. "Do you think she will ever like me?"

"She does like you."

Her eyes fluttered with confusion. "She does?"

He nodded. "She sees you genuinely care about me and you're not after me for my name. And she sympathizes with you and your situation in all of this."

"I… I could never have guessed."

"She was never really trusting of anybody. Of course you're the last person she will tell."

"But… but why? She always gives me the cold-shoulder and she takes every chance she can at throwing shit at me. "

He shrugged his shoulders. "She has always been that way."

"But can't she let me inside of her family?"

He chuckled as he placed his utensils on the table. "Considering we're married, she can't choose. But she has already let you inside of our family."

"She has?"

"Yeah. If she didn't trust you, there was no way she would've extended the invitation to you too. She wouldn't have taken any consideration to our legal marriage, she would've bombarded me with divorce documents by now."

"Okay! I definitely take the silent treatment than her breathing down your neck about divorce."

He chuckled.

He would too.

After they finished their breakfast. It was time for him to leave to his parents' apartment to help them prep for the Christmas meal while Maka wrapped work up with Wes.

…

After a short taxi ride, he arrived at his parents' place. He ascended the stairs and even before he arrived at the top of the stair, the door opened and his mother beamed at him.

"Merry Christmas!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around him the moment he set his foot on the top floor.

"M-mother," he choked out at her strong arms suffocating him.

"Katherine," his father grunted by the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She pulled away. "Come in! Come in, there's a lot to do before Wes and Maka arrive."

"Your mother has been up since dawn getting ready for Christmas," Alistair pitched in with his hands behind his back.

"Oh yes. I've been up all morning fixing the living room. Come and see it!"

He didn't know who was more excited for Christmas, him or his mother. It was definitely the later. His mother hadn't been this excited since when he and Wes were young boys.

He followed after his mother as his father closed the door behind them, his father returning back to his office. They entered the living room and his mother spun around. "Tada," she cheered.

His jaw dropped to the floor.

The living room… it truly looked like a copy of the living room at home when he was younger. Glitter and snowflakes hung from the ceiling and cotton clothed the window sills along with powdered sugar on top to represent snow. He remembered the first Christmas how he had started eating the decoration, thinking it was cotton candy since it tasted so good.

In the corner was a humongous Christmas tree decorated heavily with…

"Is that the rocket I made out of a toilet paper when I was in elementary school?" he went closer to the tree to inspect the one item of many hanging in the Christmas tree.

"Yes it is." His mother joined him by his side. "I had a couple of people bring over all of our Christmas decoration to make this Christmas something extra."

It wasn't the only thing he could recognize. The sugar snowflakes Wes and him had made when they were younger were up in the tree. Ornaments his mother had told him were his grandmother's hung in the tree and the Christmas ornament him and his mother had made together on Christmas Eve hung right there.

A big smile grew on his face as he reached out toward the red ornament with the white cars he had tried to draw on it.

"I remember when we made it," he whispered.

"Me too. Your grandma was in the kitchen preparing gingerbread for a snack for us when you made that one," his mother recalled the moment with a smile on her lips. "You and Wes fought over a gingerbread shaped as a horse and when you two broke it, you started crying for hurting the horse."

"And grandma held me in her arms as she hummed on the Christmas song."

"You fell asleep in her arms and when she carried you to bed, you wouldn't let go of her," his mother continued the story.

"I wished she was here…" he sighed.

"I know." She wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled at him. He let his mother pull him into her arms and comfortingly hugging him. "She would've been so proud of you. You turned into a fine man."

He hugged his mother back. "Yeah…" he sighed.

He knew he would've made her proud. Even if he didn't become a lawyer or married Anya, he knew she would've been proud of him for standing by Maka the way he did. When he played a little on the piano during high school, his grandma always enjoyed listening to his playing. He knew she would've been very proud and very happy he dared to pursue that passion of his. Even if it didn't bring in any big sums of money.

Happiness was something that couldn't be bough, his grandma had always reminded him.

"Are you feeling better?"

He pulled away and nodded.

"How about we start preparing the food for when Wes and Maka arrives?"

"Yeah."

They headed inside of the kitchen and started taking all the food items needing to be prepped for the Christmas table. He started preparing the vegetables while his mother worked on the crown piece, the turkey.

"Have you discussed selling the recording studio with Maka?" she asked as she turned on the oven.

He nodded "Yeah."

"How did she take the news?"

"Of course she wasn't happy, but she understood me."

"It was the right thing for you to do."

"Do you think so?" he questioned as he focused on his mother. "Don't you think it's selfish of me to want to go my own path?"

"No, not at all. You are finding out who you are and you're becoming who you were in college. There's nothing wrong about it."

"Do you think I'm really becoming who I was in college?"

"Without a doubt. After all, that's who you are. You're an Evans."

He was an Evans. Was that who he was becoming? His legal name was Albarn, but in his heart, he would always be an Evans, right? Evans was his birth name. His family in the upper class and in high positions of power and wealth. Did he need to… perhaps he needed to go back to law school and give it all a try again? He still wanted to do something with his life and follow in his parents' footsteps and make something big.

It could be exactly what he needed.

"Am I really an Evans?"

"Of course you are. Just because your legal name is no longer Evans doesn't mean you aren't one. You will always be a part of the Evans family."

A smile spread on his face.

Yeah. He was an Evans.

"Do you think…" he paused, his mother sensing the anxious and paid extra attention to him. "… is it possible… I don't know, it might not be possible."

"What is it, honey?"

He gulped. "I think… I've thought about it and… I think it would be a good idea to go back to Los Angeles."

Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open in shock as she stared at him flabbergasted. "…what?"

"I think I might want to go home," he admitted cautiously.

"Y-you really do?" his mother stuttered.

He nodded timidly.

"May I ask why the sudden change of heart?"

"It's not _that_ sudden. Since Maka told me I could walk my own path, I've thought about going back to Los Angeles since I'm just not getting anywhere closer to finding out who I am here. I think if I go back, I could get closer to who I am there than here."

"Oh Soul," she broke out and rounded the kitchen item, collecting him in her strong arms. "I'm so happy!"

"Y-you are?" he stuttered as his eyes bulged out in surprise. He knew she would be happy but this happy?

"Of course! You can finally come back home! Your father could prepare your room just like it was and we can truly spend time with you and help you regain a sense of identity." She pulled away with him with tears in her eyes. "Oh, I'm going to need a tissue."

"Mother…"

"This is so good news." She waved her hands in her face as if she could fan away the tears from spilling. "We- we need to start preparing for your move!"

"H-hold on, mother." He handed her a towel for her to wipe her tears away. "It's Christmas. You don't need to make any plans now."

"Oh, well, okay, I guess we could start planning and packing to return back home tomorrow," she sniffled and carefully wiped away the tears almost overflowing without ruining her makeup. "Today we are going to focus on family and the joy of Christmas."

He nodded. "Right."

…

They prepared the Christmas food while his father worked in his office like usual. Not even Christmas could rip him away from his work. Just like he remembered. If he couldn't find his father, he was glued to his computer inside of his office.

His mother had hummed the whole time they prepped and cooked the food for the Christmas table. When they wrapped it up and his mother decorated the table while he cleaned the dishes, there was a knock on the door before it creaked open.

"Mother! Father! We have arrived," Wes called from the front door.

"Pumpkin!" Kathrine cheered loudly and her high heels clicked loudly as she rushed toward the front door.

He could only chuckle at his mother's audible assault on his brother with her affection. He could just imagine how his mother smothered him with hugs and Wes's face turning blue from her infamous tight hugs.

"So this is where you're hiding?"

He looked over his shoulder, seeing Maka standing by the door frame. Black cocktail dress and her long strong legs at display and her black pumps.

"I'm surprised you managed to sneak passed my mother."

"It was easy considering she was busy with Wes." Her heels clicked against the wooden floor as she strode to his side.

He washed the last plate and put it away. "So how did work go?"

"Everything is set. I emailed the last documents so now they can take care of the rest with the advertisement crew."

"That's great." He unplugged the sink and let the water run down the drain. He grabbed a towel and wiped his hands. "Can you hand me my blazer?"

She took it from the chair and held it toward him. "It smells amazing here. You two really had to have slaved away in the kitchen."

Soul chuckled as he ran his hands through the sleeves and adjusted it. "More like she cooked while she gave instructions of what I would do."

"I'm sure you were a great little helper."

"You can judge the potato salad yourself."

"I'm sure I will like it."

She tenderly smiled toward him as she leaned against the kitchen counter by his side, standing close toward him.

He gulped and took a small step back. "Just a word of advice, don't criticize my mother's turkey. She doesn't handle critic well when it comes to the turkey."

Her eyes fluttered at the sudden change but nodded. "Got it."

"I see you found my brother." Wes was the next one who entered the kitchen, grinning wide at them as he strolled toward them.

She did always have a thing for finding him and being there when he was in need.

"So how have you two been?" Wes kept on smirking wide as if he had caught them stealing from the cookie jar or something.

"Good, you know, the usual," he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Yes, everything is fine," Maka pitched in.

He did not like the knowing grin plastered on his brother's face. He knew something and he wasn't telling it.

"You sure?"

"Yes, we're fine." Soul persisted grumpily.

"So… nothing excited has happened now when you live alone?"

"Wes!" Soul growled at his brother kissing the air as if they were preteens around their crush.

"What? I was always the biggest cockblock in your relationship. It got to be easier now to get the mood set."

"You're the worst."

"And an idiot." Maka's hands brushed his forearm. "Don't mind him. You know how he is."

How he knew. He could be the biggest asshole if he wanted to. One business trip and him moving back to his place wasn't exactly enough time to squash his feelings for Anya and suddenly be struck by cupid's arrow and go all heart eyes on Maka. He knew exactly how to act like a jerk.

"What are you doing in here?" Kathrine peeked inside of the kitchen. "Come and take a seat. I'll start serving."

Soul was fast to abandon the kitchen, but Maka was quick on his tail. "Why didn't she hire someone to do all of this?" she whispered.

"She wants this to be about family and not have anyone else be around," he explained briefly.

If there was something she was very strict about, it was holidays. No chefs or serving staff were to be present. It was the time when family would come together and bound over making the food and enjoy each other's company without any outsiders being present. With or without serving staff, the family wouldn't get any closer. His father would still hide away in his office while he had hung out with his mother, grandma and Wes. It didn't matter. But it mattered to his mother, so he guessed it made her feel more at ease.

They sat down by the table and Maka slid down on the seat beside him, flashing him a soft smile as she unfolded her napkin, placing it in her lap.

He averted his eyes from her and instead settling on his mother and Wes in front of him across the table, placing their napkins on their laps.

His mother caught his gaze. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head madly, grabbing the napkin and placed it on his lap.

What was wrong with him? He had never been this flustered before. There was absolutely nothing to be flustered over. He was totally fine. Calm and cool like the sea. Nothing worrying him and certainly not _flustering_ him!

"Dig in everyone. I hope you will like it. Soul and I made it all ourselves."

Everybody started passing around the bowls and taking a little from everything, he couldn't help but focusing on the two extra scoops Maka took of the potato salad he made. Geez, she tried so hard.

After all the bowls were passed around the table and they started to dig in, Maka moaned loudly. "Oh, this potato salad is really good. Who made it?"

He just wanted to mentally slap himself for Maka's outrageous outburst. Of course she would do that. Of course.

"It's actually Soul. He followed his grandmother's recipe," his mother said.

"It is really good. You did well." Maka beamed at him.

"It's easy following a recipe," he muttered as he looked down on his meal.

"It is indeed good," his father broke the silence. "You did good, son."

He turned toward his father sitting beside him on the edge, munching on the potato salad he made.

His lips twitched at his father's comment. "Thanks."

"So," Alistair said, lifting his gaze from his plate toward Maka. "I heard from Wes you're working on an interesting project."

She seemed to be just as shocked as him at the sudden question. Usual his father wasn't much of a talker.

"Y-yes I am, Mr. Evans."

"Can you tell me a little about it?"

"Well, it's a private pension savings fund where we place it in funds that would generate the most money for the customer."

"I see…" his father grunted. "Sounds like it could be hard winning in customers."

"Oh no, sir, it will be quite the opposite. Since we have such a low fee and we will unload the customers from the work of putting their savings in different funds, it will be quite comfortable for them."

"It truly is marvellous," Wes pitched in. "With our knowledge the costumers can feel safe placing their savings in our hands and it will make it possible for them to keep as much money as possible for the pension since we charge them so low."

"Yes but it is not always the low fees that brings customers in. You got to brand it as something luxurious to gain people's trust. A fund with such low fee will only raise suspicion and distrust toward it."

"Alistair, no business talk at the table," Katherine sternly said to her husband. "It's Christmas. Can we please have a half day off without talking about work? We should focus on _family_." Her attention shifted toward him and she smiled wide. "After all, we are all gathered here today for the first time in years to enjoy Christmas together."

"Years?" Soul questioned.

It all came back to him. He hadn't seen his family in _years_ Maka had told him. After he moved to Death City, he hadn't talked to his family. Anya also confirmed something had gone down between him and his parents and he moved in with his brother in Death City. He hadn't really bothered to ask them since they were here now and he didn't really care about it, but what had happened?

"Why haven't I talked to you in years?" he finally asked his parents the question.

Katherine's mouth opened and closed rapidly as she stared at him. "Um," she stuttered. Suddenly she rose from her chair. "Well, Soul, it's a matter we can discuss at a different time. It's such a gloomy story and we're not going to make Christmas any gloomier, right? Now if you excuse me, I think the dessert needs to be prepared. Maka, can you help me out in the kitchen?"

His eyes quizzically followed his mother walking toward the kitchen along with Maka who was surprisingly more serious than usual and her knuckles were pale. She was quick to head after Kathrine and the kitchen door closed behind them. He raised his eyebrow questioningly.

What was that about?

…

The moment Kathrine closed the kitchen door behind her, she released the rage she contained within her the moment Soul asked her about the one subject she knew that could change the whole playing field.

"So you're not going to fess up to what you did to him?" she sneered toward Kathrine.

"Don't mess with things you know nothing about," she growled back, ice cold eyes glaring at her.

"Know nothing about? I've been together with Soul for seven years. He told me _everything_ about you. I know what you did to him."

Kathrine spun on her heel and she turned on the oven, heading over to the fridge and pulled out a pie. She was going on her business as if they weren't in the middle of an important conversation about Soul.

"This is a _family problem_ and quite frankly, you're not a part of it," she easily explained as if she was a toddler.

"Either you like it or not, I am family, mother-in-law."

"You do not bear the name of Evans. You're _not_ family."

"Then you only have _one_ son."

She whirled around, facing her with rage burning in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me loud and clear. Soul bears _my_ name and you know exactly why he casted away the Evans name," she growled.

"It is for his own good. He doesn't need to know."

"What? How he's practically seeking comfort in the arms of the very people who casted him away as if he was trash?"

"Listen here, miss," Katherine growled and went closer to her. "I do not like your tone."

"First thing, it's _Mrs._ Albarn. Secondly, I haven't liked your tone since I first met you. I'm Soul's wife and you bet I'm not going anywhere. You better start telling him the truth or I'll tell him for you."

"You wouldn't dare." Kathrine's eyes shrunk into deadly slits.

"Oh yes I do. I have proof to back it up."

"You're bluffing."

"What's the bluff? The letter telling him he's off the will or the eviction notice you gave him?"

"You wouldn't dare to hurt him," she sneered. "You know if you told him and ruined his precious relationship with his family, he wouldn't turn to you. He would come with us."

"I'm his family. He would come with me."

"What do you even know about family?" Kathrine got up all in her face, sneering. "Your mother died when you were just a kid and your father ran around with whores. You've no family and that's why you're _alone_ during the holidays."

Her throat knotted and her hands balled. "My family haven't been perfect, but at least I have made my own family to whom I can actually _trust_. I know they won't stab me in the back as soon as I go against the current."

"Oh please. That ragtag crew of friends could barely classify as a family."

"I would rather be with them than a fake family like yours," Maka growled. "I would rather be with people who trust me and have my back than a family like yours."

"Why don't you divorce him then?"

Divorce.

The word rang in her head and turned her stomach upside-down. It had never come up on her mind and being suggested to divorce Soul, the love of her life, made her sick. She would never divorce him. Never in her life had she even though the word divorce. Not even now when Soul didn't remember her and he was changing into someone she didn't know, she didn't even think about divorcing him. She still loved him so much.

"You heard what I said," she calmly spoke. "We're bonded legally, but as soon as Soul finds out what you did to him, he will turn his back on you just like he did years ago. Soul is my family and he will forever be _my_ _husband_."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked. "He's not the Soul you remember, he might leave you any day."

"He's not."

Kathrine snorted, turning away from her and went over to the pie, putting it in the now fully heated oven. "We will see about that."

"You know Soul isn't someone you can just control with your agenda. He's his own person."

"Of course he is." She turned away from the oven. "But he is also my son."

"You people are sick," she sneered.

"Oh no, Maka, you may be a good girl for my son and my patience toward you is exponential larger than any others, but you do not want to get on my bad side."

"Come at me," Maka invited her. "I'll take anything you throw at me."

"You'll regret it."

"No, you'll regret it." Maka spun on her heel and headed toward the kitchen door.

"Wait," Katherine called out and Maka came to a stop. "You're not telling him."

Maka snorted. "Of course I wouldn't. Unlike you, I care about him and I do not want to eliminate the people he cherishes. He might've forgotten what you did to him, but I haven't and if you take one step out of line or hurt him, you'll have to deal with me." She twisted the doorknob to the kitchen. "And by the way, the turkey was dry." She closed the door after her.

…

"Hey, you were gone for quite some time." Soul snapped out from his thoughts at his brother's voice. His eyes darted toward the sound of the heels clicking, finding Maka walking toward the table.

"Yeah, I helped Mrs. Evans prepare the dessert," she briefly explained as she returned to her seat beside him. "It looks really yummy."

Even though she was smiling, something was… off. He had witnessed every sort of expression she made. All from the intense stares of unconditional love to the cute smiles she offered him for the briefest of moments. This smile… it was strained. Tense even. It was so unusual and so unlike her. Especially when she looked at him. Her face would just radiant joy and now, the joy didn't even reach her eyes.

He didn't know what it was, but he doubted they peacefully prepared dessert together.

"You okay?" He leaned toward her and murmured only for her ears to hear.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Something wasn't right, but he let it slide for this time. When they went home, he could see if she wanted to talk then without the prying eyes of his brother and father.

Throughout the small talk they had, he could sense she was still uptight from whatever had happened inside of the kitchen. He… he was worried about her. Something was obviously eating at her conscious and he wanted her to relax and enjoy Christmas and not let whatever on her mind distract her.

Gently he nudged her hand under the table, gaining her attention immediately and she stared at him with her big emerald eyes.

"I can make you a hot cup of cocoa if you want for dessert."

The tension seemingly melted away from her and she smiled her usual kind smile toward him. "No thank you, but I really appreciate the thought." Her hand touched his as she laid hers on top of his in a grateful gesture.

"The offer still stands."

The kitchen door opened and Kathrine went through the door with a steaming hot pie. "Who wants grandma's special apple pie?"

"Oh! Oh! Me!" Wes exclaimed and rose from his chair.

"Move over to the couches. Sweetheart, can you fetch plates for me?"

Alistair rose from his seat without any protest. Wes was quick to rush toward the couch and threw himself on it.

Soul pulled his hand away from Maka and rose from his seat.

"What's up with the pie? It's not often I've seen your brother this excited," Maka whispered to him.

"Grandma was really good at baking. She made a mean apple pie. It's his favourite dessert." Soul answered as they took a seat on the other couch.

Alistair decorated the table quickly, a plate and a fork for each of them. His mother brought in a small porcelain container filled with vanilla custard. Kathrine also disappeared inside of his father's office, returning with bags full of gifts

"How about we open our gifts as we eat?" Kathrine suggested.

"Oh!" Maka quickly rose from her seat. "I'll go and fetch it."

Soul chuckled at Maka's blatant excitement. Kathrine passed out the gifts all of them bought and she handed him his only present. The one he bought to Maka. She quickly returned and took a seat beside him while his mother took a seat by her husband and Wes.

"So who wants to go first?"

"I can." Maka said, holding out the long small package toward him. "Merry Christmas, Soul."

He smiled as he grabbed the gift. "Thank you."

"Open it," she excitedly cheered.

"I will, calm down." He said grumpily as he started pulling at the red Christmas wrapping. He tossed the wrapping on the floor and a black jewellery case was left in his hand. He opened it and inside was a golden clock with elegant and simple design. The face was a smooth ivory and warm golden numbers decorated the edge.

"I don't know if you like wearing watches, but I figured it would go nicely with your suit."

He smiled toward her and pulled up the watch from the case. "Watches are cool. Thank you. It was a really cool gift." He couldn't stop smiling as he put on the watch. It did look really good on him― a flash went off.

Soul and Maka turned and saw Wes grinning wide with his phone up.

"Did you take a picture?" he asked.

"Yes, I did. You got to have some pictures for the photo albums, am I right?"

Soul rolled his eyes. Just this once, he would let it slide.

"Um," he gulped and handed the gift to Maka. "Merry Christmas."

"Thank you." She wore a huge smile as she started pulling at the gift wrapping. For every ripe he felt himself grow warmer. What if she didn't like the gift? It was so small and a lot cheaper than the clock looked. What if she hated it?

She pulled the last wrapping out of the way and opened the jewellery case. Her eyes lit up as she looked down at the silver, simple but elegant hair clip in the case.

"I know it's little and it's nowhere near the price tag of your gift, but if you don't like it I could take it back to the store. I'm sure they'll still take it b―"

"I love it."

What?

"It's really lovely," she confessed, beaming at him with joy as she pulled the hair clip from the case. "Can you help me put it on?"

His eyes fluttered with confusion, but he nodded slowly. She turned away from him as she took away the existing hair clip. He cautiously ran his hands in her silky hair, clipping her new hair accessory in her hair like she usually had it.

A flash went off.

"Damn it Wes!" Soul exclaimed, cheeks warmer than usual. "You've gotten enough pictures."

Wes grinned wide toward him. "Sorry, buddy."

He was not sorry.

They kept on opening gifts. His father gave him a nice dress shirt along with a blazer, he knew it was way too much of a thought for his father to go out and buy. It was definitely his mother behind the idea. His parents gave Wes a nice new leather-bound notebook for him to take notes in.

"This is for you Maka." Kathrine spoke as she handed a gift to Maka. "It's from me and my husband."

A smile spread on his face at the thought. Now there was no doubt. His mother had accepted Maka and she didn't have to be worried about it anymore. His mother liked her and this was proof of it.

"T-thank you." Maka stuttered as she accepted the gift. She pulled at the wrapping and it soon fell on the floor. She opened the jewellery case and pulled up a silver bracelet with the letter E hanging from it.

"I thought it would be a fitting gift to show you, you're a part of my family," Kathrine explained.

A wide smile spread on his face as looked at his mother.

"Thank you so much," Maka repeated as she silently handed it to him and offered him her wrist. He put it on her.

"And I thought it would be great thing to remember him by now when he's moving back to Los Angeles."

"Mother!" Soul sneered as Maka's eyes widened.

"What?" she asked questioningly.

"I hadn't told her about that yet."

"You're _leaving?_ " Maka questioned surprise and hurt dripping from her words as she distanced from him.

"Maka, listen, I was going to tell you," he desperately tried to explain, but it fell on deaf ear. She stood up and started heading away. "Wait, Maka!" He followed after her and caught up at the hall where she started putting on her coat. "I was going to tell you. You weren't supposed to find out like t―"

"And what then?!" she hollered. "You would just pack up your bags and return to L.A? Huh?"

He closed his open mouth and lowered his head in shame. "I'm sorry…"

She waved his apology away. "I hope you have a nice travel." She opened the front door, storming out and slamming it shut behind her.

This was the last thing he wanted. She wasn't supposed to find out like this. Never had he wanted to hurt her and now he knew she was sitting in her car and bawling her eyes out. All he did was hurt her and disappoint her. She was the last one who deserved that shit from him. Not after everything good she had done for him.

He sighed heavily as he ran his hand through his hair. He turned and headed back inside of the living room. "What the hell, mother?" Soul said. "I hadn't even told her yet. I wasn't even sure if going back to Los Angeles was a good idea."

"Honey, I thought you had already talked things through with her," she defended.

"I hadn't. She was ambushed," he sighed with frustration. "Mom she _hates_ me now."

"She doesn't hate you." Wes spoke up between his bites of grandma's apple pie. "This always happens when you fight. Something is said, Maka goes away and then you crawl back to her apologizing and begging for a truce the next morning."

"But this is different. She was so mad and hurt and her eyes―"

"Soul, it's cool. She's pretty hot-headed. She just needs to calm down. Tomorrow she'll be willing to talk to you."

He seriously doubted it. They had never fought before. At least not like this. He was sure she wasn't going to forgive him. Not this time. He didn't want to go to L.A if this was how he would leave it between them. She was his friend, did he dare say best friend? She was the best thing that came out of the accident. He… he just didn't want to lose her.

He prayed, crossing his fingers, hoping that his brother was right and tomorrow would be better.

…

"Have you taken everything?" Kathrine asked from within the hall, already dressed to take him back to the apartment.

"Yes mother," he sighed heavily as he went to the hall. Butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. He didn't know if he could mend together his fractured friendship with Maka, but he wanted to at least give it one last try before he would go back to Los Angeles. This wasn't the way how they should part and he needed her. Even if they would be hours apart, he wanted to know she was just a phone call away.

He headed to the hall where his mother stood ready with his coat. He thanked her as he ran his hands through the sleeves and she adjusted the coat. "Let's leave."

The door knob twisted and the door creaked open.

"Soul…?"

He lifted his gaze and in the middle of the stairway stood Maka, heavy dark bags under her eyes and mascara residue around her eyes.

"Maka." Her name left his lips.

"I came here hoping we could talk…?" she timidly asked.

He nodded almost eagerly. "Yeah." He turned toward his mother. "I won't need a ride anymore."

She gestured understandingly. "Alright. Remember tomorrow morning we leave to the airport."

"Yeah." He went down the stairway and joined by her side, walking down beside her and they exited the apartment complex. It was silent for a long while after they got inside of the car and Maka started driving back home.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not being able to stand the silence anymore. "I had only thought about leaving and I told my mother it, but I guess she thought it was set in stone."

"I understand. And I'm sorry too," she sighed. "This is how we always fought. I get emotional and I rile you up to the point one of us walks away. I should've kept my head cool and let you explain yourself."

"You don't have to apologize. This one is all on me. I should've told you sooner and let you be a part of the conversation instead of shutting you out and hurting you like this."

"It's okay, Soul." She shifted gear and offered him a brief smile. "I know it must still be tough for you to trust me and especially with thoughts like those."

"That's not it. I see you like my best friend and I think you deserved to know. It's just… I didn't want to hurt you."

A wide smile spread on her face and she moved her hand from the gear, placing it on his lap. "It makes me happy. You're my best friend too." Her thumb gently ran over his pant. "It only hurts me when you're shutting me out. No more secrets between us, okay? Whatever it may be and even if the truth will hurt, we tell each other."

"Yeah." He grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "No more secrets."

Her hand was so small. So small but yet so strong from all her work in the office. So elegant and incredibly soft. It should be foreign and frightening to hold her hand, but it was so comforting and so nice. Especially now after a sleepless night because of Maka's hurtful expression just before she stormed out of his parents' home haunted him. It was nice feeling she was _here_.

She pulled her hand away only to shift gear and right after their hands would entwine again. They sat in silence as Maka pulled up to their parking space and killed the engine.

"As much as I don't want to admit it, I think going to L.A would clear your head."

His eyes fluttered in shock and she looked at her. "You do?"

She nodded. "There is only so much you can do here to discover who you are. In L.A, it's where your last memories are. Maybe if you returned you could get some closure and discover new things about you."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine. We'll talk as often as we can and I'll come and visit you."

A huge smile spread on his face and he nodded. "Yeah," he sighed contently. "We'll keep in touch."

They were going to keep in touch. This wasn't the end. They would still be there for each other even if they were far apart from each other.

The day went too fast for his liking. Packing all of his clothes felt heavier than it was. He was leaving. Leaving this small but cosy apartment he had come to adore. This was really it. He was moving to a placed he hadn't seen for years and it was nerve-wrecking, but he didn't want to think about it. All he wanted to do was enjoy the little time he had left with Maka before he would board the plane to Los Angeles.

After his things were packed, they chose to stay at home and enjoy the time they had together. They cooked one last meal together before they settled in on the couch to have one last movie night together. Maka had lain snuggled up on his chest and his fingers had run through her hair absent-mindedly.

This really had been their last night together.

Once night had come and it was time for bed, they had separated and once he was in bed, his door had creaked open and Maka peeked inside.

The night hadn't been over. Maka had lain on the other side of the bed and they had talked. Talked until her eyelids couldn't stay open and she had fallen asleep in his bed. He could only smiled at her as he tucked her in his bed. He made sure to maintain distance from her so they wouldn't touch, but the mere presence of her was comforting and for the first time, he felt relaxed enough to fall asleep peacefully.

…

He closed the car door. Heart heavy in his chest as Maka went around the car to grab his suitcase from the trunk. She carried the suitcase and he caught sight of a white gift bag in her other hand.

"Your parents are waiting inside, right?" she questioned.

"According to their text, yeah."

"Good," she sighed.

They entered the airport and instantly he saw his parents standing with their suitcases, Kathrine waving toward them. Soul grabbed a hold of Maka's sleeve and slowed them down.

"Can we just… take it here?"

Maka's eyes fluttered with confusion.

"You know… the goodbye part. I would rather have some privacy."

"Oh, yeah, sure." Her hand reached toward his that held her sleeve. Naturally their hands entwined and she stepped closer to him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he breathed, hand slipping around her waist and pulled her close to him. "We'll call each other every day. I want to know every detail about you how your project rocks the finance world."

She rested her forehead against his chest as she half embraced him back. "You'll be the first person to know." Her grip on his hand tightened. "Promise me you'll call as soon as you get to your parents' home."

"I promise." He buried his face in her hair. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm already missing you." She pulled away from the hug, but her hand remained tightly squeezing his. "And I've got you something." She pulled her hand away from his and instantly his hand felt colder. She held out the gift bag.

He accepted it and pulled out the object from it, proving to be a photo frame with a classic black frame. Inside was his vows along with the two pictures Wes had taken on Christmas. He smiled wide at the pictures, especially the one where he put the hair clip in her hair. Her smile… it was radiant.

"I asked Wes to send me the pictures so you'll have a picture of us which you could actually remember what we did when we took it."

"Thank you." He put the photo frame back in the gift bag and wrapped his arms around her. "I'll put it on my night stand."

She returned the hug tightly before she pulled away. "Make sure you have fun while you're finding yourself, okay?"

His stomach twisted at the tears brimming in her eyes. "Please don't cry. I want you to have fun as well while I'm gone."

"I'll try my hardest." She quickly wiped away a stray tear.

"I'll text you when we've landed."

"Okay." He opened his arms and she tackled into his chest, burying her face in his chest. He hugged her tightly, wishing he could go back in time and find his identity so he wouldn't have to leave, but it was what he had to do. Even though it hurt.

He pulled away and cupped her face, wiping away the tears.

"This isn't goodbye," he whispered.

"This isn't." She held his hands and peeled them away from her face. She leaned toward him and her lips touched his cheek, lingering and awakening a heat in his cheek he hadn't felt before. She pulled away and stared into his eyes, her touch still lingering on his cheek.. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'll see you later.

The hardest part was letting go of her and walking toward his parents as he cupped his cheek she had bestowed with a kiss, hearing Maka's sobs as he went away.


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

Since he woke up in the hospital, the hardest part was leaving Maka. Not the tense muscles or the anxiety that would come over him and paralyze him, but the absence of her. He was now on his own. He could no longer call on her and she would rush to him to comfort him. Now, he had to take care of himself.

He had to find himself.

When he had done that, he could return to Maka. He wouldn't have to be a burden to her and he could finally start giving back to her for everything she had given and done for him. He needed to step up to be the friend she deserved. He wanted to contribute to their finances, support her when she was down and… and make her happy. He wanted to see her face lit up when he cooked something delicious or hear her cute giggle when he told her a funny joke. He wanted to be there for their movie nights and share his meals with her. All he wanted was to be the friend she deserved.

And that was what he was doing.

He went beside his father, the sliding doors opened to his father's company and instantly the employers behind the front desk greeted them.

"Good morning Mr. Evans," the employers spoke as if in a choir and his father did nothing to acknowledge them, just like he remembered it.

The company didn't look much different now when he thought about it. He didn't recognize everybody at the front desk, but the building looked exactly the same. The employer's elevator was exactly where he remembered it, and it was there where he learned he got his scar from the attack he couldn't remember. It was… eerily knowing in this exact spot, he had laid on the floor bleeding out, almost to the point he lost his life.

His father silently pressed the button and the doors slid open. He bleeped his card and pressed the top floor button. The doors slid shut and it took them to the top floor. Alistair remained silent as he stared at the red digital number growing higher and higher. It came to a stop and the doors slid open. They exited it and went through a corridor until they arrived at the desk just outside of his father's office.

"Kitten!" Blair exclaimed, dropping the papers in her hands excitedly as soon as her eyes settled on him. "Finally I get to see you again!" She jumped up from her chair, arms spread wide open and gathered him in her embrace.

"Hi Blair," he choked out.

She pulled away from him and smiled wide toward him. More wrinkles had appeared on her face. She had certainly aged the years he hadn't seen her, but she was still a beauty for an older adult.

"So, how is the wife?"

"Um," he gulped, feeling the sadness root in his belly at the thought of being hours away from her. "She's good. She's left in Death City."

"Enough chitchat." Alistair interrupted just in time. "Blair, Soul is here to work as my second assistant, which means you're his boss. I want you to show him the ropes to this company."

"How exciting! It will be just the same like when you were just a little boy! We'll go to the cafeteria and eat and we'll―"

"Focus, Blair."

"―and we will work of course! You have nothing to worry about Mr. Evans! I'll make sure Soul knows everything about this company!"

"Good. You can carry out a desk from the conference room for now until I've settled up a more appropriate one," Alistair said before he disappeared inside of his office and closed the door behind him.

"Are you excited to start working?" Blair asked excitedly.

"Yeah, it's going to be nice to finally work."

It was. After months of just doing whatever he felt like doing, it was going to be nice actually doing something productive and have somewhere to go during the days. This was the beginning to finding himself, it had his parents assured him. The beginning to finding himself laid in him creating a daily routine, why not go back to working at his father's company? It had been the plan after all.

It was really nice working. After they had set up a desk for him and she started handing him easy tasks to do, like getting papers form the copy machine, familiarizing himself again with the layout on the top floor. Some offices and conference rooms had switched and the higher ups were seated in their offices, working on their things.

Once again he stood by the printer and his phone started ringing. He smiled when he saw Maka's caller ID on the screen.

He answered the call and pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello Maka."

"Hello Soul," she greeted playfully back.

"So how's it going back there?"

"It's going well. We're still waiting for Lady Arachne to show us the advertisement, but otherwise, everything is going smooth," she briefly explained. "Tell me about you, have you settled in over there?"

"Yeah, yesterday I just packed up my things and got settled into my room. Now, I'm actually working at my father's company."

"You are?"

"Yeah, considering I don't have any experience that I can remember of working in an office and I managed to get a job without even applying. Pretty good right?"

It was meant as a joke, but he received no laughter from the other end, just silence.

"You're working at your father's company?"

"Yeah. Is something wrong about that?"

"No, it's just…" she paused. "… I guess I didn't know you wanted to work in your father's company."

"I don't really know if I want to either, but they made a point when they said I should construct some sort of daily routine and it feels good to have somewhere to go and work at every day."

"Are you sure it's what _you_ want?" she insisted

"I'm sure."

"Good," she sighed into the phone. "Do things _you_ want to do. It's only you who can find who you are. That's why you left for L.A, remember?"

"I remember," he breathed out. "I really hope I'm going to make some progress here. Otherwise I would've rather been in Death City."

"I hope so too. I'm sure it ought to at least teach you something more of what you like and dislike. Finding an identity isn't easy. I mean, for kids it takes their whole teenage life to find out who they are, right? But I believe in you. I know you'll do well."

A smile spread on his face as he leaned against the wall. "You do?"

"Of course I do. I know when you put your mind into it, you'll do it until you succeed."

"Thanks."

He couldn't help but to smile. Hearing she believed in him was exactly what he needed. He didn't need to hear it from his parents, but from her. Knowing she still had his back miles away from him really encouraged him. He was going to pay her back for everything she had done for him. She just had to wait, he was going to find out who he was, work his butt off so he would be able to pay all of their loans and debts off.

"I was wondering, will you come back for the launching party with Arachnophobia?" Maka timidly asked.

"When is it?"

"First Friday after New Year's Eve."

"I don't know if I can make it. Mom's talking about throwing a party and she wants me to help her organize it."

"Oh…" his stomach knotted at the disappointment in her voice. "Well I guess then I'll go alone."

"But we could go together for my mom's party." The words left his mouth before he had thought it over. "I could help you pay for the flight ticket. It will be cool and I bet some important people from the finance world will be invited. You could make some really important connections and maybe get more opportunities to start more projects if you want."

"Okay." He relaxed after hearing her much chipper voice on the phone. "Yeah, it would be a lot of fun and it will be nice to see you again."

"You too―" Footsteps rung through the corridor and Soul quickly straightened his back. "Someone's coming. I got to go."

"I'll call you tonight."

"Great, bye."

"Bye."

He hung up right in time when Blair rounded the corner and found him standing by the copy machine which had already printed the papers for a long time ago. A huge grin grew on Blair's face as her eyes drifted down to his pocket.

"Were you talking to someone?"

"No," he quickly answered, turning away from her and collecting the papers.

"I heard you talking to someone."

"You imagined things."

"No, I didn't," she sang as she stepped in front of him as he tried to leave. "Were you talking to Maka?"

His jaw tightened as he pushed passed Blair, knocking her shoulder in the process.

"You totally were! You sly little foxy getting naughty with your wife on the job!"

"Not so loud, okay?" He came to a stop and turned toward her. "Fine. I was talking to her, but we're not like that. We're just friends."

"But you've totally boned her, right?"

"No!"

"Oh my, oh my, have I taught you nothing? You got to keep your lady pleased―"

"God damned it, Blair. We're not intimate and we are _not_ a couple."

She silenced and she fluttered her eyes astonished. "… you're not?"

"No," he confirmed.

"But why? She's such a cutie and she's so successful and she looks like she loves you a lot."

He stared at her quizzically. He hadn't talked _that_ much about Maka to Blair, knowing she would be like this if he did. "How did you find out about that?"

"Well." She slowly started as she pulled up her phone from her blazer. "Social media are very handy when it comes to finding info about a certain person," she spoke as she tapped on her phone and showed him the screen.

He accepted the phone and there was Maka's account with plenty of pictures of them. Not just pictures of them, but pictures _before_ the accident. He was aware they had different social media, but he wasn't really interested in the ones he had since he didn't know how to use half of them and he hadn't any interest in learning. The only one he had even bothered learning was Deathbook since he remembered creating it when it became a thing in college.

But this was one he hadn't cared about.

There were _a lot_ of photos. A lot of photos he didn't remember, they certainly had to have occurred before the accident. He scrolled through the pictures and it indeed happened before the accident, the dates were all before the date of the accident, she had _no pictures_ of after the accident. They were all mostly of her food, book recommendations, movie night pictures of popcorn and her favourite fuzzy blanket, but there were some of him in his signature leather jacket and ripped jeans and the atrocity of his messy hair. There was also a whole gallery of photos from their wedding day from their court house ceremony, silly pictures with Tsubaki and a dude with blue hair.

He came to a stop at a certain picture of them kissing. In the background it was raining and they shared an umbrella. A sweet romantic kiss in the rain. The picture… it was… sweet? Romantic? Adorable? He didn't know. But it definitely moved him.

Quickly he handed the phone back to Blair. "So you've been stalking her."

"Not stalking, just gathering information." She locked her phone and returned it in her pocket. "She looks like such a sweet girl. Why not give her a shot?"

He rolled his eyes. He wasn't feeling like that for her. They were great friends and he didn't want to ruin it with complicated feelings or trying it out when it would just fail. And… Anya, his mind was still on her. Even now when she was an engage woman to be married in spring, he still loved her so much. He wanted to be with her even now when he knew it was impossible. That ship had sailed. But he couldn't move on.

"Let's just return to work."

"But I want to know―"

"For goodness sake let it go!" he sneered and went away from her.

…

A smile played on Maka's mind as she went through her papers on the fund rates inside of Wes's office. He lazily relaxed in his chair with his feet swung up on his desk, watching her go through the papers.

"You seem happier than normal." Wes finally commented. "Ever since Soul left with my parents, you've been down but now… you're happier."

"Nothing goes by unnoticed by you, huh?"

"Not now when things are the way they are." He dropped his feet from his desks and leaned closer as if he was eager to hear it. "So spill."

She put down the papers and she took a seat by Wes's desk. "Well," she started, almost singing. "It feels like Soul is really falling in love with me again."

A huge grin grew on his face. "I knew it would happen!"

"I know," she giggled, barely containing the bubbling joy in her chest. "It's just such a relief knowing he'll soon be my husband again."

How she had missed him. It had been such a long time since she could hold his hand and kiss him, touching him as if it was her own body. Feeling him seeking out her touch and leaning into it when he did, it was so many things she missed, especially the deeper and more intimate connection her needs constantly reminded her of. All she wanted was to regain back what Soul had lost and love her again with a passion.

And he was falling in love with her again!

"Tell me, what are the signs?"

"Well, Soul always calls me whenever he has the time and we talk for a while. He always says how he misses me and how he wants to see me and when we skype, he always tells me how good it is to see me," she sighed contently as she thought to the moment when they first videochatted. His eyes had brightened and smiled wide the moment she picked up the call. He was so vibrant and happy to see her it melted her heart.

"That does sound like him."

"It does. He never usually shows his feelings so openly like that."

"He's totally falling in love with you."

He certainly was and she was sure, when she was going to attend the party he and Mrs. Evans was throwing, it would be the night they would get together for real. It would be a magical night where she would woo him and he would realize he had fallen head over heels in love with her. She could picture it so clearly. How they stood under the starry night sky, lights illuminating his hair as if it was glowing threads and his eyes would twinkled brighter than any star in the sky. His eyes would stare into hers so softly as he uttered those three words she starved to hear him say. He would cup her cheeks and bring her lips to his.

It was so close. She could almost taste his lips on hers.

This was really it, in a couple of weeks she would travel to Soul and they would finally get together. He would pack up his things and return home with her where they would go back to living happily ever after.

"I can't wait for the party. I'm so excited to see him again and I just know it will be the night he will confess his love for me," she sighed happily.

"I'll be hiding around tapping the whole thing."

"Wes!"

"What?" He shrugged his shoulders. "It will be just like your wedding day again. You two will practically be married again."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "But that implies we were divorced."

"Not like that, just, you two renewing your vows and all of that."

"Okay, but you're not going to hide around in some bush—"

Her voice faltered when the fax machine went off. They both turned toward it in shock as the paper slowly rose toward the top with a message.

Usually nothing came through the fax machine. Everybody sent emails and she had nagged at him to throw away the piece of equipment since it had just been collecting dust. It was nowhere near useful… but now… who in the world would send them a fax?

Wes got up from his chair and strolled over to the machine, grabbing the paper.

"Channel two 13:45," Wes read out loud. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Who sent it?" Maka asked.

"It's from… Arachnophobia."

Maka's eyes lit up. "It has to be the commercial! They must've finished it and is airing it soon!"

"It's possible, but wouldn't they show it to you before they went live with it?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe but they were in charge of it and I'm confident in their skills." She started walking toward the door. "Come on, I got to see this commercial they came up with!" she cheered from over her shoulder.

They went toward the nearest conference room with an available TV and turned it on. They didn't have to wait for too long before the commercial came on.

Maka excitedly stared at the screen as their commercial came on portraying an old man sitting on a bench, holding a piece of cardboard in his hand begging for money. In the background Miss Arachne's voice appeared, warning the viewers of this reality. The joy she had felt came crashing down when she referred to one of _their_ pension saving funds. Her jaw hit the floor as she stared at the screen as they kept on telling the viewers all of _her_ points to _her_ pension saving fund!

The commercial ended with Arachnephobias logo on the screen, not even mentioning or hinting toward her or Evans Finance Group.

She had been ripped off!

They had _stolen_ her fund!

"What the hell!" she burst. "She stole my fund!"

"I'm getting our lawyers ready on this case," Wes barely contained his growl. "We'll teach her what happens when she messes with the wrong people."

"I can't believe she has the nerves to do this to me!" Maka exclaimed, storming out of the conference room. "That was my idea!"

"I know, and we will fix this," Wes said, following her behind and they entered his office. He came to a stop when there was another message in the fax machine. _A lot_ of papers were there.

She went over to the fax machine and grabbed the paper.

_Thank you for helping us launch our project_

"What the hell is this stuff?!" she shrieked and Wes grabbed the paper from her hands, reading it quickly. She grabbed the rest of the papers and skimmed through them.

She recognized the papers. At least the first few pages. It was the contract she had to sign to approve them to take care of the advertisement. The contract she had signed in her hurry to go after Soul.

"What's that?" Wes asked as he peered at the papers from over her shoulder.

"It's a contract I signed to approve Arachnophobia to take care of the advertisement."

Wes went silent. She gazed at him over her shoulder at his stern face, glaring at the papers in her hands. "… did our lawyers go through the contract before you signed it?"

She opened her mouth before she closed it. "… no," she admitted. "She told me I had to sign it quickly so they could get started on it and I saw Soul running through the corridor! I had to warp up the meeting fast so I could go after him and at the same time not bail on Miss Arachne again."

"Maka!" he groaned, running his hands through his hair. "You know to _always_ let our lawyers go through the contract before you sign it!"

"I know, I know!" she exclaimed, the papers spilling from her hands and raining down on the floor.

Realization hit her hard. The contract was that long for a reason. There was a reason behind her rushing her toward signing it. They presented it when Wes wasn't present. They singled her out and did all of this to steal her hard work away from her. Within the pages of the contract, she knew it had to be some sort of transaction of her project from her to them.

Her legs gave in and she fell to the ground, tears rolling down her cheeks and she clutched her hair. "I-I trusted them and— and I had to go after _Soul_ ," she bawled.

Wes sighed and kneeled down beside her, rubbing her back comfortingly. "What's done is done. Go home and take the rest of the day off. I'll get the papers to the lawyers and see if they can do something about it."

"Tell me we can get it back! Please tell me we can save my project!" she cried.

He stayed silent, rubbing her back, both knowing a contract like that signed, it was nearly impossible to revoke.

…

Soul's breath was taken away as he stared at Maka on his laptop screen. Red nose and mascara smudged on her cheeks as she wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"You can't be serious!" Soul exclaimed. "It has to be a joke, right?"

She slowly shook her head, biting her lower lip. "I messed up," she whispered.

"They _tricked_ you! There has to be something you can do!"

"No," she sobbed.

His heart was tearing wide open at the sight of her so distraught and not being able to comfort her. He had witnessed her working hard on her project, even finding her passed out on the couch from time to time with her laptop and papers scattered around her. She cared about the project as if it was her own child, and now when she was on the threshold on launching it, it was stolen from her.

He couldn't take seeing her like this. There had to be something to reverse all of this!

"I'll ask my father to look at the contract! He's a bunch of contacts and he will have the top lawyers on the case! Maybe even judges could help you out!" Soul desperately counted up different options, but she kept on shaking her head.

"You'll be wasting your time. The company's lawyers have checked on the document and they said it's a real contract. The transaction of the project wasn't hidden inside of the contract. If I had just read more of the contract I would've found it out." She turned her face away from the screen, sniffling as more tears trickled down her cheeks. "It's all lost."

"You can't give up this easily. One stupid contract shouldn't stop you—"

"It's all over!" she exclaimed, bawling her eyes out as she grabbed another tissue. "They've won. They chose my project for a reason. They wanted to steal it because I'm just a stupid woman who stumbled upon this position without working for it."

"Hey, you earned that position. You worked your butt off and you're unbelievable smart and passionate about this stuff. You've done _everything_ right up until now and this isn't going to end you." Soul leaned closer to the screen as if she was actually there, sitting on his bed instead of hundreds of miles away in front of her laptop.

She peeked at him. "Y-you think so?"

"I _know_ so. You've worked so hard and juggled me at the same time. I don't know how you did it, but it's incredible— _you're_ incredible." He watched her carefully as she wiped her tears away with a tissue. "You earned your position in Wes's company. You worked hard and you deserve everything you have because you worked your way up to that position."

She sighed and tossed the used tissue in the huge pile of dirty tissues. "I don't really know…" she muttered. "Wes took a liking to me in college because I challenged his thinking during his guest lecture… ever since I've just worked as his intern until I graduated and became his assistant and partner. Did I really work my way up or was I just given the position?"

"Of course you worked for the position. If you weren't a good intern and good colleague, then he wouldn't have hired you."

He saw it in her eyes, the doubt clouding her eyes and refused to believe his words. The contract had changed her. Thoughts that didn't exist before had polluted her thinking and created doubt. The fierce confidence in herself and her own ability was no longer present. Instead caution was present and he could see herself tiptoeing around in the dark. He knew all too well. He was in the same place as her since the moment he woke up in the hospital. It wasn't fun and he knew, there had to be a way to help her. She couldn't stay in the dark for too long without driving herself insane.

He had to help her.

"I wish I was there," he whispered.

"Why don't you come here?" she timidly asked him.

As much as he wanted to jump on a plane and hold her in his arms within the nearest hours, he couldn't. His job at his father's company along with helping his mother preparing for the dinner party was keeping him busy. He couldn't leave it behind.

But there was something he could do.

"You know I can't do that, but why don't you come here?"

Her eyes fluttered. "What?"

"You could come here. I could pay for your ticket and you could spend a few days here. I could show you around and show you all the cool places here, and I could introduce you to some of father's finance friends."

"As much as I would love to see you again, I can't leave either. I need to take care of my work at the company. I've already been off for two days and I can't put the inevitable off anymore."

"Oh." He couldn't help but feel sad. "Yeah, I get it. I guess we will see each other when the dinner party arrives?"

Maka nodded. "Yes, but I really appreciate the offer and I do want to see you. It's just…" her voice faltered and she stared down at the coffee table.

"Don't worry. You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to. We'll just stay in touch and we'll see each other soon again at the dinner party."

…

Soul stirred his spoon in his cup, staring at his black coffee swirling around and around. His mind bobbling and the people of L.A went by the out-door seating. Anya held her mug in her hands, resting her elbows on the table.

"What are you worrying about?" she asked.

What wasn't there to worry about? Something had happened between him and Maka, and he didn't like it. Ever since the contract business revolving around Maka's project, the calls had been fewer and video-chatting had been out of the question. He was… really nervous. He had changed. He admitted it. He was finding out who he was and he hoped Maka would accept him and the changes that had happened.

Were they really the same? He had changed, they had changed, were they still as good friends as they were when he lived with her? He had absolutely no clue. His brother and Maka would land within an hour and they would come to spend the weekend with him and his parents and to attend the dinner party he and his mother had planned now for weeks. He just hoped it wouldn't be an awkward weekend. It wouldn't be, right? They were still friends and even if things had changed, they hadn't changed that much, right?

"You tell me." He released the spoon and stared at his coffee.

"You've nothing to worry about. So suck it up and go home. It would be awkward if they arrived at your home without you being there."

"My mom can charm them both for me."

"Hey." Anya reached across the table and nudged his forearm. "Go home. We both know Maka isn't here to hang out with your mother."

"Just a couple of hours more—"

" _Soul_." Anya's voice dipped and became stern. "Go home. You can't hide away in this café forever. You know you'll have to see her eventually."

"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't really know what to do."

"Yes you do. Just listen to your heart. You'll know what to do."

"There you go sprouting that poetic shit." He grabbed a hold of his spoon and started swirling his untouched black coffee again. "It's not as easy as just listening to your heart when you don't even know what it's saying."

"Then spill it. What is it that's preventing you from going home? Why did you call me out of the blue like this and asked to see me?"

His mouth tightened as he looked into Anya's blue eyes.

He knew why. He was nervous. The conversations between him and Maka had… he didn't know how to describe it, but it had changed. It wasn't their usual banter anymore, it had become more… intense. He feared a little what would happen when he met Maka. That intensity was making him nervous and he didn't really know what to do. All he hoped was Anya could make it all better like she always did. If it was studying with him when they started law school or if it was lunching with him during his breaks to get him out of his head and do a good job to make Blair and his father proud. She always had a healing effect on him.

"… I want you there at the dinner party."

"That's it?" She raised her groomed eyebrow.

He nodded. "It would feel less awkward if you were there."

"No Soul, what's more awkward is having your ex who you still fancy at the same party with _your wife_. What would Maka even think?"

"She wants what's best for me. Trust me, she wouldn't mind."

Anya sighed. "All right, fine. But I'm bringing Tsugumi with me."

"That's fine. As long as you're there, it will help a lot."

"Just promise me, you won't hang around me all the time. Tsugumi is okay with you hanging with me, but I'm sure she certainly isn't."

He didn't have to be a genius to understand she wasn't okay with him hanging around Anya, his ex he remembered being together with instead of her. Of course she wasn't happy when he had talked about her, but what was he supposed to do? Feelings weren't like a switch you could turn on and off. He wished his feelings for Anya could just disappear and he could love Maka the way he had before the accident, but he couldn't. He loved Anya and he wanted to be together with her, but he couldn't. There was no longer any room within her heart anymore, Tsugumi had taken his place. She was happy. That's all that mattered, right?

"Don't worry, what makes me happy, makes her happy."

Anya nodded understanding, but the glimpse in her eyes told him otherwise. "Okay, as long as you're both comfortable with it."

"We are."

"Good." Anya rose from her seat and grabbed her purse. "I got to go home now, and so should you."

Soul pushed his cup of coffee away from him. "Yeah. I'm sure Maka will flip if I'm not home."

"Good, now get your head out of the gutter and make sure she has a good time here. You know you got to keep the wife happy."

Soul blew a raspberry as she exited the café.

He was left smiling, rubbing his neck before he also headed to his home.

…

He returned home just in time for when Wes and Maka's taxi pulling up on the driveway. He stared out the window as Maka stepped out of the taxi, sunglasses on and hair up in a ponytail. The taxi driver immediately hopped out from the car to take out their luggage from the trunk.

"Soul." Kathrine called up the stairs where he sat, spying out from the window. "Maka and Wes have arrived."

He didn't move an inch.

"Don't make me yell," Kathrine's shoes clicked as she headed up the stairs, finding him where he sat. "What are you doing here? Aren't you going to greet them by the door?"

He remained silent.

"You know I raised you better than this. You always greet your guests by the door," she sternly said as she rested her hand on her hip.

Absent-mindedly he got up from his seat and headed down the stairs.

"There. That wasn't so hard."

It might be. He didn't know.

He gulped as his mother opened the front door and opened up her arms wide. "Wesley! Maka! You finally arrived!"

"Hi mother," he heard his brother greet their mother from outside on the front porch.

Okay. He got to go out.

He took a breath of courage and he rounded the corner, walking out on the front porch. Maka's head turned toward him and her suitcase fell from her hand, crashing down on the ground. Her mouth hung ajar and she took off her sunglasses.

"Soul?" she said astonished.

"Hi," he answered.

He had changed since he last saw her. His hair was a darker brown and his eyes were no longer red. His mother had helped him out getting blue coloured contact lenses and he had gone to the dentist to get prosthetics to cover up his sharp teeth. They were just temporary till the dentist would slowly shape them down to normal teeth, either by filing them down or filling them. The prosthetics did keep the weird glances away from him and he felt… so incredible _normal_. No outsiders or customers at the office would give him any weird glances now when he covered up the freakish features.

"Oh my goodness," she whispered as she slowly went up the porch, not even blinking as she stared at him. "Are those coloured contact lenses?"

He nodded.

"Wow…" she tilted her head as she inspected him. "They look so real… if I didn't know you had red eyes before, I wouldn't have suspected a thing."

"Yeah, that was the point."

Her eyes immediately darted down to his mouth. Her hands grabbed his cheeks and pried his lips open.

"H-hey!"

"You've fake teeth too?"

"S-stop it." He pulled her hands away from his face. "Yeah, they're prosthetics."

"Did they get knocked out or what?"

"No, I just…" he sighed as he tightened his tie. "I wanted to cover them up. It's essential to look good when you do business. It could help the customers be more agreeable, you know. It's scientifically proven."

She raised her eyebrow. "… okay?" She hooked her sunglasses on her blouse. "I'm just… it's a shock seeing you like this. It's not that you don't look good or something because you do look handsome, I thought you would tell me about these changes."

He sighed and looked away from her. "It wasn't important."

"Maybe so, but it's something I would've been interested in knowing."

He stayed quiet.

"Maka." Kathrine almost sung her name. "It is nice you wanted to join us this weekend." She collected Maka in her arms and she hugged her back, but her eyes stayed glued on him.

"It's nice to be here," Maka said as she pulled away.

"Kid bro, I see you've changed as well." Wes grinned wide and came to rest his arm on his head.

"H-hey! You're ruining my hair!" Soul exclaimed as he smacked his brother's arm off, carefully patting his hair back to the well combed state it was.

"No fights now, darlings. Wes, why don't you go and greet your father while Soul shows Maka her room?"

"Um, sure." Soul nodded. Soul went down the porch and grabbed the suitcase she had dropped, returning to her. "It's this way." She followed after him as they went up the stairs. He went toward the west wing of the mansion, away from his room.

"Wow… you grew up here?" Maka asked as she looked around astonished at the luxurious paintings and high ceilings with the chandeliers.

"Yeah," he breathed.

"You must've lived the good life."

"Something along those lines." They reached the end of the corridor and he opened the golden doorknob. "This is your room." He held it open for Maka and she gasped as she entered the room.

"Soul," she breathed. "This— our apartment would fit in this room!"

And it certainly would. His parents wouldn't allow guests to live in tiny rooms without their own private bathroom and walk in closet. Something less extravagant than this wasn't allowed.

"This isn't even the best guest room." He entered the room and placed the suitcase by her bed.

"This isn't?"

He flashed a smile. "Not even close."

"But this has a sitting area with a huge ass TV! How big even is this bed? It's definitely bigger than a king's bed!"

"But it doesn't have a Jacuzzi, the big balcony or the wine cooler."

Her eyes fluttered. "Who would even need that many things? The guests aren't supposed to spend the whole visit inside of their rooms."

"No, but you know my mother. She got to show off her wealth." He leaned against the wall. "She would've given you one of the more exclusive bedrooms if some important finance people wouldn't stay here."

"Just sleeping on a couch or on a mattress would've been enough for me."

Soul chuckled. "You're not in Death City anymore. To impress these people you need a fine taste, knowledge in the odder refined things and a shit ton of money." He straightened his back and showed his hands in his pants. "You need to know all about the talk and the walk. You've a lot to learn until tomorrow's dinner if you want to impress some of the people here."

She blew a raspberry. "So do you, mister bad mouth."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not trying to impress anyone. It's hard enough trying to please myself. I don't need to start kissing asses on top of that."

"You're right about that," she giggled.

He couldn't help but smile at her. She was cute when she laughed.

"So, care to show me around? I'll either need that or a map of the place or I will definitely get lost."

"You'll probably get lost either way." He nodded toward the door. "I'll give you a house tour."

And he did. He showed her the other guests' room to see her jaw drop in shock at the luxurious decorated room. He showed her the rooms which she would absolutely stay out of because it was there the guests would be staying for the night. He showed her his father's office where she had greeted his father, the kitchen where she got to meet the kitchen staff. He showed her the arcade room where he and Wes had spent a lot of time when they were younger. She absolutely drooled when they arrived to the library and when he managed to rip her away from it, she had taken a book with her to have as light reading before she went to bed.

"… and this is where Wes sleeps." Soul gestured toward a door at the beginning of the right wing of the mansion on the upper floor. "And this is my room." They came to a stop by his room right beside Wes's.

"May I see it?" she asked timidly.

It was something… intimate about showing her his safe space, but he agreed. "Sure." He opened the door and let her inside.

His bedroom wasn't even near the simplicity of the guest room she was staying in. His sitting area was far bigger and more comfortable with a fire place and a huge TV taking up a large portion of his wall. His bed was humongous and he remembered the hassle his mother had to go through to get the bed custom made to fit the pocket in his room. On the night stand decorated the picture frame Maka had given to him with his wedding vows and the pictures of them. He'd a couple of bookshelves filled with books and his desk littered with papers, open notebooks and books. Right by his desk was a door out to the large balcony with a sitting area.

"Wow… I don't know where to begin," she whispered.

"It is quite messy. My mother and I haven't quite finished decorating it to my liking. It's still quite… childish."

"Childish? Where is it even childish? All I can see sophisticated furnishing."

Soul gestured toward the arcade games that were in his room when he moved back in with his parents. It was his favourite games and it was nice to play them for the nostalgia, but he didn't need them in his room. They could be in the arcade in the basement.

"Come on, any child with an arcade game in their room would be very lucky."

"Maybe so, but I feel like my room needs to look more… well… grown up, you know. I am twenty-six and not nineteen after all."

"You don't have to prove it with furnishing or something like that. If you liked your room as it was, you should live so."

"Nah, I like this better. My mother helped me out a lot to get it to look like this and I'm sure she wouldn't be happy if I threw all her hard work away."

"I get it." She nodded understanding. "As long as it was your decision, I'm happy."

She started circling around in his room, examining all of his decoration. She came to a stop by one of his bookshelves, hand running over the backs of the books. "Faust… Pride and Prejudice… Crime and Punishment… Tell me, are these just for show or are you actually reading them?"

"I have read them." He flashed a grin.

"Really? That's impressive. I never thought you enjoyed reading books, especially books like these ones."

"What? Did you expect me to read sci-fi or something?"

"No, more like Harry Potter with your low reading ability, but I guess I'm wrong. You do know a thing or two about reading complicated books."

Soul chuckled. "I guess so."

He watched her as she ran her hand over the papers scattered on his desk. "What are you working on?"

"Just some light studying."

"Doesn't look so light." Her hands ran over the law book he had highlighted some paragraphs. "Are you studying law?"

"Something like that. I think I want to start studying law again, but since the semester is in full swing and I've missed the application period for the next semester, I don't really know. It might be too much of a hassle to go through the application process again."

"I see."

He gulped when she started to near him, her green eyes looking at him with that gentle touch again.

"Y-you should see the view from my room." He backed away and opened the door to the balcony. "It's really great."

Maka was close behind him, joining by the railing and looking out over their well-groomed garden. "It's so big… you've a gardener who takes care of all of this, right?"

"More like ten. This is actually the less exciting side of the house. You should see the backyard. Now that's what I call an Eden. It even has a gazebo."

"You got to show me around the garden then."

"It's a mess right now. My mom is preparing the garden for the dinner party so even if we can't mingle outside, it will still look nice and presentable."

Maka raised her eyebrow. "Why won't we be able to be outside?"

"According to the weather, it's going to rain, but she still wants out guests to notice the garden."

"So she wants the guests to see how well-maintained it is?"

"Something along those lines. You should just see how much she prepares when we have parties in our backyard. Those parties are over the top."

"I bet it is." Her gaze found his and she smiled gently toward him. "So how are you?"

"What?" he questioned.

"You know, how have things been? It was now two months since I last saw you and you have obviously changed."

"It's good, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders. "It has helped me a lot being here. I feel like… I don't really know, but it feels like I'm slowly finding out who I am and what I want to do."

"That's great!" Maka beamed toward him. "I'm happy you're finding out who you are." She placed her hand on her arm.

His throat ran dry and his eyes darted down to her hand. Had she been this close to him? "Um, t-thank you."

"Do you feel like you're finding out the base of who you are now?"

"I think so?"

"Good." He thumb ran over his arm. "I have been thinking a lot about you when you were here. I've wanted to ask you this for quite some time, but I didn't want to burden you when you didn't really know who you were. I think now is the right time."

"What is it?"

"I was wondering…" her eyes glimmered beautifully as she smiled at him. "… do you want to grab some dinner with me?"

"Uh, it's a little bit early, but if you're hungry, I guess I could ask the chefs to cook something up for you."

She shook her head violently. "Not that!" she squeaked, cheeks blushing. "I want to know if you want to have dinner with me, as in a date."

His eyes widened. "A- a date?!"

"Yes, a date. You know a little bit more about who you are and I think right now is a good time to try it out. You're ready for this step. Dating you was one of the best times in my life and experiencing that with you again is like reading my favourite book for the first time again, and I want you to experience that too."

"I-I don't know," he stuttered, feeling his own face heating up. "L-like, uh, I've got a lot on my hands preparing for the dinner party and…"

"But if we go out before the dinner party, you'll be able to take me as your date." She beamed toward him. "I can't promise you anything, but I'll put in a good word for you," she playfully spoke.

She wouldn't accept a no, would she? Besides, didn't he owe her a date to ate least give her a try and see if there could be anything romantic between them? Maybe this could even be what he needed. Maybe she could take his mind off of Anya and move on from her by going to Maka.

"Alright. It's a date then."

She barely contained her joy as she jumped on the spot. "Okay, I'll go and change and I'll meet you downstairs?"

"Sure."

…

It was… weird. _Really weird_. Just the thought of going on a date with Maka whom was his best friend was something really odd. He cared about her. He really did. He wanted everything sweet for her in life for her selflessness and devotion to her career. Especially now after she had lost her project and she had seen Miss Arachne spread the commercial for her project and how successful it had been. If this date could lift her spirit, he would go on this date with her.

Hopefully she wouldn't be too attached to him.

He leaned against the door, hands shoved in his pockets as he waited for her. How long did she plan on prepping herself? It was a date. Not a ball. It wasn't hard. Just pick a dress, do your hair and you were ready to go.

"Hey, little bro." Wes greeted cheerfully, ascending from the stairs with a bottle of wine in his hands. Obviously he had paid a visit to their wine cellar and judging from his small stumble, he had been there for _a while_. "You ready for dinner? Mom gave me the privilege of choosing today's wine."

"Not today, brother."

" _Whaaat?_ " Wes gapped at him, stumbling and supporting himself against the wall beside him.

"I think you had a little bit too much of wine down there. You might want to start chugging water or mom won't be too happy."

"There is so much wine down there. I had to try out all the new stuff to decide which one, okay? _And_ I tried out some of the whiskeys for dessert too." He grinned wide. "Believe me, you'll be _super_ happy with this choice."

"Yeah, you and father will have to enjoy it by yourself."

"Why?"

"Because Maka and I are going out for dinner."

"No way!" Soul wrinkled his nose at the strong alcohol breath hitting his face. "Are you finally dating her?"

"We aren't dating anyone. We're just going out for dinner and seeing if there could be something between us."

"A date after all."

Soul rolled his eyes at his drunken brother. "Call it whatever you want."

"I'm so happy for you!" he exclaimed in his ear as he hurled his body at him. "You're finally going to date your wife again! You're going to love her again and you'll come back to Death City and everything will be back to normal."

A wrinkle between his eyebrows appeared as he held his hands up in the air.

Going back to normal? Was that what everybody expected from him? Just falling back in line with who he was before the accident?

Soul pulled away from Wes and his brother's expression suddenly went blank and mouth hung open. "Wow…"

He raised his brow at his brother and turned around to look at what had his brother so amazed. His eyes almost bulged out of his own head when he saw Maka walking down the stairs like a beauty queen, hand feathering over the railing and her eyes twinkling brighter than crystal chandeliers.

She… she looked gorgeous!

Her hair flowed down in graceful locks and her green dress brought out her eyes. It made her legs look longer with her dress short in the front and long in the back. Her smile beamed and lit up the room as she reached the ground floor. She gave a slow spin, allowing them to see her from every angle.

No wonder she took her time.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Slamming! Ouch!" Wes cursed as he massaged his ribcage.

"Don't be a creep," Soul muttered.

"What? You jealous?" Wes purred.

Soul rolled his eyed at his brother's fanatics. "Don't listen to him," Soul said, stepping in front of him. "You look really good."

Her cheeks heated up as she neared him slowly. "Thank you."

"Why are you all gathered here for?" His mother asked as she and his father strolled inside of the entrance hall, his father a couple of steps behind. "Come in the dining room. The chefs are wrapping up in the kitchen."

"Soul and Maka are ditching us," Wes sang.

"What? Why?" Kathrine tilted her head quizzically.

"Because they are going on a date." If Wes was singing before, he was full on out singing like a nightingale.

"Wes," Soul sneered.

"Oh how lovely! That's why you two are so dressed up."

"Yeah, and we're actually just leaving," Maka said.

"Then we better make it quick," Kathrine smirked wide and she snapped her fingers. Alistair neared his wife and pulled out a nicely folded paper from the inside of his blazer. Soul raised his eyebrow as he accepted it from his father.

"What's this?"

"Why don't you open it?" Kathrine radiated with excitement.

Soul obliged, unfolding the paper piece of paper and started reading it.

_Dear Mr. Evans._

_Congratulations! We're pleased to inform you that you've been accepted to University of Los Angeles beginning in fall 2018, in law._

His mouth hung open and he looked up at Kathrine barely containing her joy. "Oh my goodness…" he breathed out.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes! This is incredible!"

"What is it?" Wes grabbed the paper from his hands and Maka peeked at the paper. "You're accepted to law school?" he asked.

"I don't know how, I didn't even apply," he bubbled with joy.

"We took care of it, but rather, your father did. Mr. Enrique represented your father in the past and he's now the dean. He managed to pull some stings and got you accepted to school," Kathrine explained.

"Thank you so much. I don't even know what to say."

It was all so surreal. It was like he was receiving a do over in life. He was going to attend law school and retrieve the degree he had missed out on. It was all going to be okay again.

"That's great, Soul," Maka spoke up. "Do you still want to go out for dinner or do you want to stay in and celebrate with your family?"

It was the greatest opportunity to cancel their date. But could he? She had done so much prepping to make herself look like that. It wasn't like her ordinary professional blazer and pencil skirts. This was Maka looking like she was going to a gala. As much as he wanted out of this awkward dinner, he couldn't do that to her. Not now when she was all prepped up and bubbling with excitement for the date. She would surely be disappointed if he cancelled it. One awkward dinner he could endure for her sake.

"Nah, let's go."

"Have fun, lovebird," Wes chuckled as Maka joined his side and they headed out of the house.

"Have you been drinking, Wesley?" Just before the door closed, they heard Kathrine sneer at his brother.

Soul grinned wide and Maka giggled. "I take it your brother will be in trouble. "

"Yeah, he's up for a huge scolding."

…

After Maka had described the type of food she wanted, he narrowed it down and she took her to a cool place serving quirky foods. She insisted on having either waffles or soup for dinner. He'd no clue why, but if that was what she wanted, she would get it.

So he took her to the coolest breakfast place in Los Angeles. They had some dinner items, but he was sure they could prepare some of the breakfast items for them as dinner. At least he hoped so.

They went inside of the small café Mnemonic, as unique and quirky as her apartment was.

Her eyes lit up as she drank in the surroundings. "This is perfect," she breathed.

"I'm happy you like it, just too bad you overdressed if we were just going to eat at a place like this one."

She looked over her shoulder, her hair whipping over her shoulder and caressed her bare shoulder. "Maybe I didn't dress up to fit in some restaurant's dress code."

He gulped nervously at her dark and intense stare at him. He recognized that look. Not exactly this look, but the intensity he remembered too well. The frightening seriousness and the depth in her eyes reflecting the barely contained emotions she had kept buried all this time. It was in the hospital he last saw it. The day after he woke up. Her feelings dancing in her eyes like a dancer boldly taming balls of fire in an eloquent act. It had terrified him being at the end of her heated gaze, and it was just as frightening, if not more.

She caught on his state and immediately her face softened, holding her hand out to him. "Come on, I'm starving."

"R-right." He wet his suddenly dry lips, hesitantly reaching out for her hand.

What was he going to do? Hold it? They were on a date and he knew some sort of hand holding was expected of him. But now? It was expected of him, so why not start now so he would get used to it?

He chose to grab her hand and thankfully she didn't entwine their fingers, just holding his hands as she tugged him along.

She didn't even need to look at the menu on the wall. With conviction she ordered the breakfast waffles only to receive a surprised raised eyebrow from the cashier. She was quick to assure him it was what they wanted, and they would enjoy it with a glass of red wine. As soon as their order had been doodled down on a piece of paper, Maka dragged him to a quiet table in the corner of the tiny restaurant.

"So," he started as they were seated. "What's up with the waffles? I thought you were hungry."

"Well, it is strange, but…" she beamed toward him, reaching across the table and gently resting her hand on his. "… on our first date, we were both so poor we couldn't afford going to a restaurant for dinner, so we went for breakfast and it was waffles."

"I see…" he whispered anxiously.

"I know I can't replicate our first date perfectly being in a different city… but I really want you to experience it again because that date was the best one in our lives." Her thumb caressed the back of his hand as she smiled at him wide. If she smiled any wider, her cheeks would tear open. "It was the beginning of _us_ and I want you to experience just how great it is."

"Okay," he almost squeaked like a mouse.

"And if you're going to start studying again, I'll move to Los Angeles too."

His eyes blinked in shock. "Y-you're moving here?"

"Yes, if you're going to start school here, it's more permanent than I thought you would stay here, and I don't want to be that far away from you. I can find an apartment and maybe you could move in with me again, just like before."

He gulped and pulled his hand away from her. "Just… slow it down a little. Our date has barely even started and you're already planning the rest of our lives."

She grinned wide toward him as she leaned closer to him over the table as if she was gazing at her delicious prey. "I've been planning ever since we first got together," she whispered in a low sultry voice that made his skin crawl with uneasiness. "But for you…" her voice brightened and she leaned back in her chair, the intensity of the _more_ returned back within her from his sight. "… I'll slow down my horses."

Her words didn't sooth the uneasiness eating away at his flesh, the glimpse of the intensity and the hunger that he knew existed within her, a hunger he knew now for certain, it hadn't gone away. It had been hibernating within her and the moment he accepted to go on a date with her, it had awakened. Now it was barely contained, ready to bounce on him at any given minute.

It was eerily.

Any ordinary guy would've jumped up and down in joy having a girl like Maka so confidently go after them. She was successful, bright, so incredibly bright and hey, she was beautiful. He wasn't going to deny it.

But… he knew he wanted to forget Anya and the way to do it was to get involved with Maka. But it was scary. So incredibly scary to have her go after him so confidently. The intensity and the depth of her feelings were terrifying him shitless. They had only known each other for a couple of months and she still cared about him so deeply without a filter. It was so incredibly terrifying, but he knew he had to see passed his fear. He needed this. For Anya.

Dinner came and the cashier brought them their waffles and wine. It was an odd food combination, but it was good for waffles and cheap wine. It was far from the delicious flavours from the variety of wines in his parents' wine cellar. Maka kept on smiling and laughing as they kept on talking throughout the dinner and as soon as their plates were empty, he expected them to head home, but Maka had other plans.

"And now we have dessert," Maka sang as she took a seat by their table with a small box of chocolates.

"Okay, any chocolates with almonds in them?"

"Not what I know."

"Doesn't it say it on the box?"

"That's the point," she gushed as she pulled off the ribbon on the box. "It's like a game of Russian roulette. We'll see which one of them we like and didn't like."

Soul raised his eyebrow at Maka. "I take it we did this on our first date?"

"Exactly!" she opened the box and held it toward him. "Try one out."

He settled on a chocolate looking like a milk chocolate with white chocolate drizzled on top of it. He popped it in his mouth and instantly refluxes kicked in when a strong taste of oranges hit him. He swallowed it quickly and devoured wine to the sound of Maka giggling.

"Was it liquorice?" Maka asked.

He shook his head.

"Oh! It was those nasty champagne pralines, wasn't it?

He shook his head again. "Orange," he spat out.

"That was my third guess, I swear." Maka giggled as she grabbed a chocolate with yellow dust on top of it. "Try this one. I've a feeling it might be marzipan. Or it might be lemon."

"Okay." He took the chocolate in her hand and put it in his mouth. Indeed, it was a good one when the delicious flavour of marzipan coated his mouth. He lit up and nodded toward her. He swallowed and smiled toward her. "Marzipan. That one was really good."

"I told you," she bragged.

He could only laugh as he turned the box of chocolates toward her. "Now it's your turn."

He was so torn. As soon as the intensity in her gaze was gone, it was back to the way it was when they lived together. Relaxed, comfortable and fun. But as soon as she would make a flirtatious comment or her thumb would run over his hand, the intensity would return and the uneasiness would come right along with it. It was like he wanted to hang out with her and like her, but as soon as _that_ side of her showed up, he wanted to run away and hide somewhere while he cried to Anya. Hand-holding he could do, but as soon as she started caressing it or squeeze his hand, it reminded him of the something more in her eyes.

Overall, he could say the night was enjoyable? The cons were fewer than the pros and that was a good sign. The date had been quite odd with the waffles and chocolates. It's not something he would come up with, but then again, he went on a date with the woman who lived in a quirky apartment with a blue door and furniture from a garage sale.

They headed home. They greeted his parents and brother who were seated in the living room before they headed up the stairs. Maka came to a stop and her hand in his stopped him, tugging him slightly toward her. She stood tall and he gulped.

Oh no. She didn't expect him to… _kiss her_.

"So…" her voice dipped and she was standing _way_ too close to him. "… I'm not really tired or ready for our date to end and technically we did watch a movie on our first date, so how about we watch some movies on that big TV of yours?"

He exhaled so loudly with relief to earn a raised eyebrow from her. "Yeah, why not?"

"That's great." A huge smile spread on her face.

They went inside of his room and he started the TV while Maka was busy bouncing between checking out the small wine collection he had and the movies. He didn't really care what movie she chose. He just popped the DVD into the player and opened the wine bottle she chose.

They were seated on the couch. Maka just had to take a seat right beside him, thighs touching and their shoulders bumping together. In the apartment they could be completely snuggled together under a blanket and he wouldn't care, but now it was so awkward, but damn it was _so_ nice. Hugging wasn't something that he got a lot of, and every single one he got from Maka felt so good, and she always wanted to give them to him.

The movie kept on playing and they drank glass after glass of wine, him maybe more than her because, oh, he needed the liquid of courage. They got closer and closer and the wine helped him accept the touch and push away the uneasiness in his mind.

This was what he needed. She was the only one who could take his mind off of Maka.

He found himself lying in the couch, not giving a damn about the movie, just concentrating on Maka lying squeezed between his side and the couch. Head resting against his chest just above his heart and he beat she could hear how fast it was beating.

It was scary. Having his senses dulled by the wine and allowing himself to actually look at her was terrifying. Watching her hair flow down beautifully and he couldn't help but to play with her beautiful hair. Twirling a loose lock of hair and running his hand through her hair. It helped him sooth his racing heart and focus on what he needed to do.

He didn't want to do it, but he knew it was for the best. He needed to move forward and forget Anya, to sooth her own consciousness when the wedding finally happened. Maka also expected it. They had gone on a date and he knew as soon as the movie ended, she would expect it of him.

He needed to kiss her.

It was a wild and crazy thought. Kiss Maka, his _best friend_. There wasn't a bone in his body which felt the slightest bit of romance toward her. They were just friends. But there they were. He had to kiss her. For Anya and for her, and, himself.

And he had to do it before the movie ended. It had to be on his terms. No one else's. If he was going to kiss her, he had to be the law-maker.

He inhaled shakily as he gently nudged her chin up. Instantly her eyes twinkled with worry. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head, swallowing the little saliva to wet his throat. "No."

"You seem so… stiff."

"It's just…" Gently his thumb caressed her chin as his eyes stayed fixated on her deep rosy lips. "Hold still." He slowly leaned in and captured her lips.

A jolt of surprise travelled through him the moment his lips touched with hers. It was… odd. He had kissed a few girls before, but it had never felt like this. Not even when he kissed Anya it had felt like this. He couldn't describe it as their lips were pressed together. It wasn't as tame and enjoyable when he had kissed Anya. This… he could only describe it as wild. The jolt the moment their lips touched never ceased. It kept on dancing and sparkling on his lips, shocking him every second with the intensity of it. What made it all worse was the fact Maka didn't even hesitate. Her eyes fluttered shut a second after their lips met and she kissed him back eagerly.

He liked it.

Her lips moved deliciously against his and he accepted it heartily. The sensation and the jolts of the something unknown were addicting. He wanted to stay like this. Eat up this sensation and preserve some in a jar for later. It was so… so… so… so _good_. He hadn't expected kissing someone could feel this good.

She deepened the kiss even more and he received it eagerly. Her hands entwined in his hair, pulling him closer and his arms tightened around her waist and pulled her flush against him. He devoured her lips, enjoyed the jolts sparking along his―

He gasped and suddenly pulled away when Maka was suddenly _straddling his lap!_

"What's wrong?" Worry clear in her eyes.

"I-I'm not ready for t-that," he breathed shakily, eyes not being able to take off her rosy lips with smudged lipstick all over them. He couldn't ignore his own pulsing lips and the lingering sensation of her silken lips.

"Oh, I wasn't trying to push you to do _that_."

"I-it's just…" he gestured toward their hips. "… I'm not… i-it's not okay."

"Oh, okay." She slid off of him to her original spot beside him. "I still want to touch you more… is this okay?" she asked as she timidly slid her one leg over both of his.

The warning bells went off in his mind and he shook his head. "N-no. Just… like this." He cringed when his hand settled on the back of her thigh and he steered it to hook it around his one leg. Now it wasn't any suggestive and even if she sat up, there was no way their privates would even come close.

"Good," she whispered and leaned close to him. He closed his eyes and welcomed her kiss.

It truly was addicting. She tasted so good. He could still taste the wine from her tongue and a little of the chocolate they had stuffed their faces in. His hands snaked up and cupped her cheeks, bringing her as close as he could.

In his mind, he could almost picture how her sandy blonde hair went paler and her green eyes turned blue and it was no longer Maka he was kissing, but the person who held his heart. A smile spread on his face and he kissed her back eagerly, mouths smacking and tongue running lapse.

But it wasn't Anya.

He pulled away and she didn't seem to mind. A huge grin played on her lips as she stared back at him with so much intensity in her eyes.

His stomach knotted as he came to the realization he had actually kissed _Maka_. He had… he had _cheated_ on Anya! Not really, but he was still faithful to her! What was he doing with Maka? He couldn't use her like this to get over Anya. He didn't even want to get over her. He… he was a monster for doing this to Maka, and Anya and himself. This wasn't good for anybody!

He was so stupid for thinking this was good for anybody.

All of this was so fucked up. This whole situation. Him having his life set up for him and his mind was somewhere else while Maka tried to shape and bend him to fit into that mould. All this time, fucking every waking moment since the day of the accident, she pushed and pulled him to love her. There wasn't any choice for him. There was no other girl he could love or fall in love with. There was only one option and it was Maka. She wouldn't settle for anything less.

Fuck. He was unable to do anything really.

Maka fell asleep on his chest. As much as he wanted to wake her up and drive her away from his room and reflect upon what had happened, but she looked so peaceful. Smooth face and her make up smudging on his shirt. He wanted to wake her up, he even tried to move his shoulders to awaken her from her slumber, but she was already long gone. There was nothing he could do but to fall asleep as well and fast-forward until morning.

Morning couldn't come too soon. As soon as he opened his eyes, he found Maka staring back at him as she caressed his chest with her fingers. Her face smudged with her makeup, but even though her face was a mess, she was still cute.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Morning." Slowly he sat up and Maka moved away. He flinched at his tense muscles aching and he massaged his shoulder. Fuck. His muscles were getting worse again. Hopefully not another anxiety attack would hit him again.

"Are you okay?" Maka asked worriedly, hands hovering as if she wanted to touch him.

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to give you a massage?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'll be alright. Besides, you got to get ready for the dinner party."

"But you always come first to me. I don't need the whole day to get ready."

And that was what creeped him out the most.

"You don't have to do this for me. Just go and get ready for the dinner."

"Okay, if that's what you want me to do, I'll do it."

"Good." He rose from his seat, grabbing his blazer he had discarded the night before and hid the makeup mess on his shirt with it. "I'll see you at the party."

Her eyes fluttered in confusion as she followed him to the door. "But don't you want to have lunch together?"

"No, I'm sorry, I'll be preparing for the dinner party all day. I'll see you at the party."

"Oh… okay." She grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers as she neared him. "I had a really good time yesterday." The intensity returned in her eyes and a sultry smile appeared on her face.

His throat tightened at the proximity. "Yeah. It was… fun." He laughed nervously.

"It was really romantic. And…" she bit her lower lip and her forehead feathered over his. "… I fell in love with you all over again."

He cringed and backed away from her, hitting the door frame in the process. "Maka…" he started.

"You don't have to say anything," Maka quickly added. "I already know you don't love me like that yet. I just wanted you to know my love for you has never wavered. I still love you in all of your states of mind. Nothing is going to change that." She took a step closer to him, fingers feathered over his hand as her lips pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you at the dinner party." She slipped out of his room and the door clicked shut.

Yet?

…

His primary goal was to keep Maka away from him. His first goal was to involve his mother in all of this by keeping her busy and his mother knew exactly how: by taking her to shopping for a better dress. It didn't take much to convince her, just telling her he wanted to keep her occupied was enough for her to agree on.

Secondly he had to involve his father. He knew he wasn't as social like his mother, but he was the spider in the web, he had contacts. Contacts Maka was in grave need of. If she was going to move to Los Angeles, she would be very much interested in the contacts. Important people from the finance world would arrive to attend their dinner party and he knew if his father introduced her around to the people, they would do the work for him.

It was a brilliant plan.

His father however needed a little more convincing facts to be recruited, especially when it was to introduce Maka to his friends. She was smart and brilliant Alistair knew, but the side step in not having a lawyer check the contract before she signed it had him doubt in her judgment. He hadn't witnessed her abilities in the finance world, so it was a gamble, but then again, he was his son.

He was aboard on his plan.

That only left his brother, his wildcard.

He might be a part of the Evans family, but he knew he stood behind Maka. Had done so ever since he woke up in the hospital. He pushed him toward her instead of his family. He knew he wouldn't accept him distancing himself from Maka. Wes was his wildcard and he knew he had to stay away from him. Keep him busy from the shadows so he wouldn't be able to help Maka out. He knew just the person to help him out.

Tsugumi. If he reached Anya and asked for some time to talk alone, he could steer her right to Wes.

This way, he wouldn't have to talk to Maka. He could spend the whole night talking to Anya.

It was a brilliant plan.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

The night had been so pleasant. Reliving her first date with the love of her life, it had been exhilarating, fun and mind-blowing. Never before had she thought she could relive falling in love with Soul again and date him again, but it was just as enjoyable as before. Her knees were weak and her heart speeded up seeing him just like when they started dating.

And the kiss! She didn't even know if their first kiss was better. The kiss was something she hadn't experience before. Going months just being around him and not being able to touch him was unbearable. She had tried to quench her thirst by taking care of herself while she took a peek at some of his nudes he had sent her before the accident and now when he had kissed her, it was like being reborn. The starvation she had carried for months and tried to quench with her fingers, it had finally been met. At least a little. Now she starved for more. She wanted to kiss him more and touch him and maybe if everything went well tonight, they could do something more.

The night couldn't come too soon. Especially when her mother-in-law offered to take her out to buy a proper dress for the dinner party since the first glance she set on her dress she had gaged in dismay at the look of it.

They were on rocky terms, especially after Christmas. She would rather sit on a beach and eat sand while she got a terrible sunburn than be around her. But… it would get her some time to straighten things out with her mother-in-law. If Soul was to study here, it meant she would be in contact with his family a lot. She was already in contact with his parents more than she ever had been during the years she knew him, but she needed to try to get along with Kathrine even though she was twisted with her own agenda. Kathrine was a part of his life, and she needed to accept that and get along with her for them to work.

"Then what about this one? It would bring out your lovely curves," Kathrine spoke gracefully as she held a dress to her body. It was a lovely dress, but it didn't appeal to me.

"I don't think so. Pink isn't really my colour."

"What? But pink would look really good on a lovely young lady like you."

"I've never really liked pink."

"Well then, we'll just have to find you a different dress."

It was weird. They'd been practically at war with each other the moment Soul wasn't present and here they were, pretending they were best friends shopping together. But an illusion of peace was better than the silent war going between them.

"Then what about this one?"

"Oh no, mermaid dresses aren't my thing."

"What about this one? With your lean legs you can pull off a cocktail dress."

"Everybody will probably have dresses covering their legs. I don't want to make a scen," Maka explained.

"If you don't want to be noticed, then I suggest you wear a classic blue silk dress. You've no idea how many I've seen on our dinner parties. I started wondering if that's all the city offered." A smile grew on her ruby lips. "But, a young lady like you needs something extraordinary. Something…" she circled her perfectly manicured index finger in the air, sharply turning and went over to a hanger, pulling forward a dress. "… like this one. Red silk, and it will hug your curves perfectly. There will be plenty of other red dresses tonight so you won't stand out but you will still look good as an individual as well."

She really wasn't feeling like shopping for a dress when she already had one, but she wanted to stay on Kathrine's good side. Even though she didn't deserve it. She was doing it all for Soul's sake.

She sighed, standing up from her seat and grabbed the hands from her. "I'll try it on."

"Good girl."

She headed for the roomy fitting room with mahogany and silk furniture. She started getting dressed when Kathrine spoke from the other side of the velvet fabric wall.

"I hope you brought the bracelet we gave you for Christmas, it will look really good on you with the dress."

The bracelet? She had discarded it in a drawer the moment she got home. She wasn't going to wear a symbol for the _Evans_ family when they had done so much wrong to Soul. She wasn't going to wear something that represented the nights she woke up to him crying his eyes out or their first holidays together when he would be more gloomy than joyful. There was nothing good about wearing the name Evans.

"Oh no. I sadly forgot it in Death City," she replied.

Kathrine paused. "I know we haven't exactly gotten along."

"You think?" Maka spat.

"I'll see passed your rude remark, but I know you truly care about Soul and would do anything for him. You have already done so much for him. You wouldn't hurt a hair on his head and you wouldn't hesitate to punch the light out of the ones who did."

"I'm happy you're finally seeing it. You should've seen it months ago when we first met."

"A mother has her doubts."

Maka rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I didn't mean to bring it up again, all I want to say is my husband and I are lucky he found such a fine woman like you. You're a great addition to our family and I'm proud to call you my daughter-in-law."

Her eyes fluttered in confusion and she stopped pulling the dress up her body. "You are?"

"Yes. You can be horribly rude and misses some manners, but you're successful, loyal and you truly love my son. My son chose well and I know you could fit in our family."

She still wasn't sure, it might be the back-handed compliment or her track record of being manipulative in general. For Soul, she would let the past be the past, but if they stepped out of line, the truce would be blown to the wind within a second.

"Thank you. I guess you aren't too bad of a mother-in-law yourself."

"That's really good." Kathrine sighed with relief.

Maka got dressed the ball gown and zipped it up. She pushed the fabric away and revealed herself. "I think the dress is too long."

The dress was beautiful. Kathrine was right. It perfectly hugged her curves just in the right places and flowed around her body like water. It was the colour of love and she was sure, it had to make Soul's blood boil. He did indeed have a preference to warmer colours.

"Oh no, it's fine." Kathrine kneeled down and pulled at the dress slightly. "When you're wearing heels, it will be a little shorter but it will still touch the floor, you'll have to make sure you kick the dress while you walk."

"Can't we just sew it up a little?"

"Oh no, we don't have time for that. Not if we want to buy some jewellery to match the dress now when you forgot yours at home."

"We don't need to do that. The dress alone will cost a lot and I don't want to waste money on jewellery."

"Maka darling," Kathrine smiled kindly and grabbed her shoulders. "I'll buy the dress and jewellery. It will be my wedding gift to you."

Her eyes fluttered with confusion. "Wow. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get out of that dress."

Maka grinned lightly as she pulled at the curtain.

Maybe a truce wasn't needed, but a peace had really fallen between them.

…

She looked beautiful. Felt more beautiful than ever with the help of Kathrine. Her makeup was natural, but it heightened the emerald in her eyes and her lips look absolutely kissable. All she wanted was Soul to smudge her lipstick with his lips. She prayed for it to happen again tonight.

Her eyes sought for the one she longed for, but among the guests, it was hard for her to find him. She had expected him to wait for her by her room or possibly by the stairs where the left and right wing met, but he wasn't seen. He had to be around somewhere, but the question was where? He had helped plan the whole dinner party, he had to be in some sort of hosting role, how absurd and so unlike him it may sound, she ought to have found him by the doors when the guests started pouring in alongside his mother.

It was strange. On the most important night, he was vanished. He wasn't in his room nor the dining area nor the kitchen nor the ball room. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something was definitely off.

Her eyes lit up when she found Wes walking toward her with two glasses of champagne. "I take it you haven't found him either?"

She shook her head. "I've checked everywhere but I can't find him." She accepted the glass he offered her, clinking their glasses together before she took a sip. Her eyes didn't leave the body of party guests mingling. Kathrine was right, there were plenty of guests wearing red, she didn't stand out one bit.

"It's odd. He has planned for this for weeks and now he doesn't show up."

Maka turned toward him hastily. "Do you think something has happened to him?" Her mind started going hundred miles an hour. "Oh no, his muscles were so tense this morning. What if he had a panic attack and―"

"Relax," Wes hushed as he placed his hand upon his shoulder comfortingly. "I don't think that happened. Or else someone ought to have found him passed out. I think he's hiding away somewhere."

A spark fired within her as she smiled at him. "You think… you think he's hiding away because there are too many people?" It would be so like him. Just like the old him. Maybe… maybe last night ignited something within him, memories and he was starting to remember who he really was, and who she was to him. This… he might remember her, all alone scared not knowing what the images was he was seeing.

She had to find him. Quickly.

"I don't really know anymore, but hiding is something I know he does."

"I need to find him."

"Woah, woah, slow your horses." Wes latched on to her hand the moment she was about to bounce. "Like you said, you've already searched everywhere."

"Not where Soul is." She tugged at his hand but he refused to let go.

"You need to think rationally. We both know when you get fired up nothing good happens." Wes sneered at her. "Now stay calm, mingle a little while I go and search for Soul. I'll go and find you as soon as I do."

She turned swiftly toward him, glaring at him. "You tell me as soon as you find him. If you haven't found him within half an hour, I'll go and look for myself and I don't care how much of a fool I'll be."

"Calm down," Wes growled under his breath. "I'm serious."

"And I'm serious too," she sneered back.

"Your level of seriousness is if he has been kidnapped. He's just hiding somewhere. He's fine."

She opened her mouth to yell back at him, but she halted.

Wes was right. Oh, how she knew he was right. She was over the top on her emotions. When she got like this, nothing good would come just like Wes reminded her. Like the time when Soul suggested dropping out of college to support them better instead of taking loans and only working part-time. It was their first big fight. He had stayed with Wes for days and they hadn't spoken a word to each other for six days until Soul had crawled back to her and waited outside of her classroom. She had promised herself to keep herself level-headed from then on so no argument would blow out of proportion like that ever again, but she kept on breaking it over and over again. When she was high on her emotions, she only riled him up in the process.

For once in her life, she needed to stay levelled. For Soul. She knew very well she couldn't expect him to crawl back to her like before. She had to be the one to find him for a change and stay calm.

"Fine," she murmured. "But you better tell me where he is."

"If I didn't you would strangle me." Wes flashed a grin and he let go of her hand. "Remember, smile, be polite. These people aren't like the corporate people you meet at our company parties."

"Okay, fake smiles and pretend to like operas and Mozart. I get it."

Wes chuckled and nodded. "Something like that." He turned on his feet and left her.

Like she would ever let Wes search for Soul himself.

She darted in the other direction, lifting her dress as she hurried toward the exit of the ballroom. Soul had to be somewhere close. He had arranged this after all. He may be frightened somewhere, but it had to be close. It just had to be.

"Maka." She suddenly crashed into a body of meat, stumbling backwards in the process and a hand supported her from falling. "You're in a hurry," Mr. Evans spoke after he released her hand quickly as soon as she had regained her balance.

"Um, yes, I'm looking for Soul. You might've seen him?" she asked.

"Yes, in fact I have."

"Where is he?" She eagerly stepped closer.

"He's showing some of my friends around. They insisted on seeing the gardens even though it rains. He will be back shortly."

"I'll join him then."

"Oh no." Mr. Evans was quick to raise his arm to block her path. "You wouldn't want to ruin your hair and makeup."

"I'm not really too worried about that."

"Then how about I introduce you to some of my finance friends. I heard from Soul you're considering moving here. One of them could possibly help you getting a job. The competition here is certainly tougher than in Death City," he explained stiffly.

He had a point. The competition in Los Angeles was something else than in Death City. She had been lucky having Wes as a contact, but he didn't have the same contact network like Mr. Evans in Los Angeles. There were crawling with finance people at this party. This was a good opportunity to mingle and make connections. She would be in need of them if she was going to move here.

But she needed Soul too. Right now, all she wanted was to find him.

"It's a very generous offer Mr. Evans―"

"We're family. You can call me Alistair."

"― Alistair," she corrected herself. "But I'm afraid I need to decline for now. I really do need to find my husband."

"But I want you to meet my friends and Kathrine is looking forward to introducing you to Soul and Wes's babysitter when they were young. You might already have heard a little about her, but her name is Blair."

She had heard about her from Soul and Wes, but she could wait, Soul couldn't.

"I'm sorry Alistair, but I need to find him." Before he got any chances to retort back at her, she moved passed him and continued toward the exit of the ballroom in conviction. No more obstacles. She was going to find her husband if it was the last thing she did―

Her eyes caught a glance of a back and a perfectly combed brown hair too familiar for her. She came to a stop took a couple of steps closer. The man stood on the balcony with his back toward her, curtains a little tampered with as if someone didn't want them to look what was outside on the balcony, but at the same time blend in with the other curtains. The red velvet curtains hung droopily and the ropes tied around them were as loose as they could be. A guest could still look what was beyond the curtains and on the balcony, but not as inviting as the other balconies.

Her jaw tightened when she saw a woman with blonde hair standing beside him, hand placing on his back and instantly, he turned toward her and rested his face on her shoulder. Her fists clenched when she caught sight of the side of _Soul's_ face.

What was he doing fraternizing with some woman? Especially after their date! He had _kissed_ her!

The woman's arms snaked around him and patted his back comfortingly. There was only one woman she knew with blonde hair he would confide in like this, and she didn't like the woman at all. She had tolerated her before, but now she was boiling.

How could Anya try to seduce a vulnerable _married_ man! They were over for a reason!

She growled under her breath like a lioness as she rushed toward the balcony doors when suddenly Soul and Anya broke apart and she caught glimpse of Wes appearing, veins on his throat and madly shaking his finger at Soul. She stopped as she watched Wes madly shaking his hands and before she knew it, Anya headed for the balcony doors.

It was time she handled a husband-stealing skank.

Anya closed the balcony doors behind her and that's when she pounced. She grabbed a hold of her wrist and swiftly pulled her out of the ballroom.

"Hey!" Anya protested, pulling at her wrist.

She let go off her as soon as they reached a corridor which was conveniently empty. Maka crossed her arms over her chest as she stared Anya down. "I thought you were getting married to someone _not_ my husband," she sneered.

"I am." Anya massaged her wrist. "Geez, did you have to be so rough?"

"Only to those who threaten my marriage," she neared her. "Now tell me, what do you think you're doing with _my husband?_ "

"First things first, stop yelling."

"I will yell if I want to!" she raised her voice. "Now tell me."

"I'm not your enemy, believe it or not. I love my fiancé and I've no intentions leaving her."

"Oh yeah? You looked pretty comfortable snuggled up with _my husband_."

"He needed comfort. Okay? He's confused and he wanted my company."

She raised her eyebrow. "Your company?"

"Yes, my company. He has needed my company since he moved here. It's not something new."

"What?" she spat. Soul hadn't told her this.

"Yes. He's been calling me and meeting up with me to talk since he was either confused or stressed out."

She didn't know what came first, the punch in her gut catapulting the air from her lungs or the heart-wrenching pain in her heart. She had never had this problem before. Soul had always been so loyal. Never hung out one-on-one with another woman and when he studied with friends, some female some men, it was never anything fishy. He always informed her of who the was meeting with and when. Never before had he done anything wrong or anything to set her off on a jealousy spree. Now… he had been cuddling up with his _ex-girlfriend_ he remembered being together. And he told her nothing about her.

It _hurt_.

"Believe it or not, but when he told me he wanted to leave you and get together with me again, I was the one to always tell him to go back to you and fix things with you. He might not remember it or understand the reason we ended, but I do and it would only fall apart again," Anya explained calmly. "I've found the love of my life and it's not him."

The room felt cold. All the beliefs about him came shattering to the ground. He couldn't have said that… he just couldn't. He… he was her _everything_. The one person she wanted to her side forever. The one she wanted to start a family with and grow old together. And… he didn't?

"Did he…" she whispered. "… did he really ask you to take him back?"

Anya exhaled heavily, nodding slowly. "He did."

Stab!

Right to her heart.

"I think I'm going to go now." She gestured back to the direction of the party. The sound of Anya's heels clicked as she walked away.

…

"Are you insane!" Wes hissed as he pushed Soul against the railing. "What are you doing here with _Anya_ when Maka's worried death about you!"

"Give me a break!" Soul pushed Wes away from him. "It's not like we were making out or something."

"You might as well done so. What the hell are you thinking? Are you out of your mind?"

Soul rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

He wasn't kissing her. He hadn't done anything wrong. All he'd done was share his thoughts on the night before with Maka. As much as he wanted to keep quiet about it since ever word he said to describe the date and the kiss felt like he was cheating on her. Anya was the only one who understood him. Maka and Wes just saw him for who he was before the accident. Anya… she was the only one who listen, _really_ listened to what he was saying, not trying to decipher him from who he was before the accident.

"Listen to me." Wes grabbed a hold of his shoulders, shaking him madly like a doll. "You can't go and fool around like this when you have a _wife!_ Doesn't Maka mean anything to you anymore?"

"Get off me!" Soul sneered and smacked his arms from him. "You know damn well after the accident she stopped being my wife."

"But you didn't stop being her husband." Wes's eyes were on fire as he glared at him. "You got married to her and you can't just pretend like she isn't your wife. You're disrespecting your marriage."

"If you're so damned in love with her then why don't you go ahead and marry her, huh?" Soul snapped.

Wes's eyes fluttered in confusion. "What?"

"Oh come on, don't pretend like you aren't." Soul sneered. "You love her. You couldn't handle she and I were going on a date so you got drunk. You're pushing me to her so you can make her happy. Why didn't you just marry her then?"

"I think you've it all wrong." Wes tilted his head and raised his eyebrow. "You know Maka and I are friends and partners in my company."

"Oh don't get shy on me now, I know you love her."

"Soul, I think you're projecting. I'm not in love with her."

Soul snorted. "Give me a break. You're doing awfully a lot for her to _only_ be friends."

"Maybe you've forgotten I'm doing this for _you_ too. You loved her before and I know you can love her again. All I want is for you two to be happy together again."

"I don't believe you." Soul pushed passed his brother. "You can have her. Get married to her for all I care."

They didn't understand him.

They never did.

He needed some time alone to think. All he wanted was to be alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone or be looked on by anyone. All he wanted was to hear the silence of the night, hear the rain splattering and not his brother's madly clenching and unclenching hands or his teeth grinding.

It was all so confusing. Before it had all been so crystal clear, but after Maka's arrival and the date it had all gone down the drain. Why had he even kissed her and why had he even _liked_ it. They were best friends. It was solid. But now after the date Maka had blurred the lines and he was so confused. He didn't know anymore. They were best friends but… then the kiss and Anya… it was stressing him out.

It was driving him insane being around everybody. Having Wes pull at his arm and pushing him to go and be with Maka and her pulling at him to keep on kissing him and taking on the husband role she _told him_ to abandon and walk his own path.

He just wanted to be alone.

He entered the ball room again and he rushed toward the entrance hall, grabbing an umbrella from the stand, pulling the door open.

"Soul?"

He halted, squeezing his eyes shut and silently cursing. Slowly he turned around seeing Maka walking toward him in the most gorgeous dress he had ever seen her in. His mother had done a good job. Her arms crossed over her chest as she stopped in front of him.

"Are you going outside?" she asked almost timidly.

"Yeah, just grabbing some fresh air."

"Can I join you? You still haven't shown me the garden and I would love to see your gazebo."

"I don't know… we haven't even started dinner and if you go out you'll ruin your hair and makeup." He excused, hoping she would understand and just leave him alone.

"I don't care."

"I could just show you it tomorrow―"

"No, I want to see it now," she interrupted him.

He guessed he had no choice. "Alright. Grab an umbrella." He opened the door and went outside, undoing his umbrella and before he knew it, Maka was right by his side, standing under _his_ umbrella.

Okay. If she was going to play that game.

They went around the mansion, Soul pointing toward different trees, bushes and flowers, but she never gave him a response. Something was wrong and it was making him uneasy. She was even keeping her distance from him. She would rather have her one shoulder outside of the umbrella than have their shoulders touching. It was really… odd.

"There you've my mother's hyacinths. It's the only patch my mother insists on taking care of herself. She loves her hyacinths." Soul rambled, feeling his throat running dry. "Wes once pushed me into the flowers and that's when I learned two things, my mother's rage and the fact I was allergic to them."

She didn't make a single sound.

He gulped and he gestured toward the gazebo right by his mother's hyacinths. "And there you have it, the gazebo."

It was wide and pride with its white glory, able to fit a dinner party of thirty people still with space to spare. They went inside of the gazebo and Maka's heels clicked against the wood as he folded up his umbrella again, leaning it against the railing to let the rain drip off it.

"It was my mother's idea. She told me when Wes was toddler and I was just a baby, they attended a brunch with some of their friends and she saw the children play in their cute little gazebo. She was in love with the idea and the next day she had people digging up the yard." He watched her carefully as she wandered around, eyes examining the floor and the ceiling, her hand feathering over the moist wood. "Our father stormed out fuming in anger thinking some people was just digging in their yard until he saw mom sit on the porch, sketching on blue prints she wanted it to look like. He just needed to look at the sketch for all the pieces to fall into place and he laughed so hard mom started thinking he had finally lost it."

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't even read her. She was silent like the night and eerily unfamiliar as she held up her now stained dress hem. She was making him quiver with nerves and fear of the unknown that would arrive. His heart racing in his chest in worry.

So he settled on leaning against the railing, staying just as quiet as her. If silence was her weapon, it would be his shield.

He looked out over the garden, listening to the rain splattering on the roof and dripping down on the grass. The cool air chilling his body. The lanterns were lit just as his mother had wanted, lighting up the flowers, bushes and the trees, thankfully the ceiling protected them from the light so no curious guests from within the mansion could see them.

"Can I ask you something?" Maka broke the silence finally when she reached his side of the railing, joining him and looking out over the garden.

"Of course you can."

"Okay."

Silence.

"… you can ask me the question any time now."

"I know."

"So…?"

"Don't rush these things."

"Okay." This was even more painful than the silence. Couldn't she just tell him already? The anticipation was killing him.

"I saw you with Anya earlier," she whispered.

His throat knotted and his hands tightened on his sleeves. "That wasn't a question, but yeah, I talked with Anya."

"Seems like you two were quite comfortable."

"Look," he turned toward her. "I didn't have my tongue down her throat or anything. It's not like I was cheating on you or something."

"Oh yeah?" She faced him. "How come you didn't tell me you've been meeting up with her all this time you stayed in Los Angeles? If nothing special happened between you and Anya, you could've told me. After all, you were hanging around your _ex-girlfriend_ ," she growled out the word.

"She's getting married―"

"But you still begged her to take you back!" her voice rose in power and she yelled right in his face.

He backpedalled, staring at her.

"Your beloved Anya told me. I can't believe you've been asking her to take you back," she growled. "How could you do that to _us!_ "

"It's not like I even remember us. I was in a motorcycle accident." He tapped madly at the spot on his head where his hair hid the scar. "Remember?"

"It's not about _that!_ " she screamed. "It more than a half year since the car accident. You've gotten to know me― you _know_ me. You know how much you mean to me and how much I treasure what we have, and you _still_ chased after Anya! Even tonight when you're supposed to be my date, you ran away and spent it with _Anya!_ "

Soul sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "I didn't exactly _ask_ you to be my date for the evening."

Her lips tightened and her eyes suddenly went glossy. Now he felt like shit.

"So you didn't want to be my date for the night?"

"… Maka."

"Don't play around. Give me an honest answer!"

He looked away from her. "… No."

"Tell me." His heart was tearing just at hearing her trembling voice. "You know me. We're not strangers anymore. Can you see yourself falling in love with me?"

He grimaced as he massaged his aching shoulders. "You don't need to know―"

"Yes I do," she insisted. "We promised each other no more secrets or lies between us."

He faced her and his breath was taken. She was trembling, tears on the verge of spilling over as she stared at him, waiting for his answer.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"You're only hurting me more by not answering."

He bit his lower lip and he opened his mouth. "… no."

She squeaked, hands slapping over her mouth and the tears spilled over. She sobbed loudly and his heart was twisting with pain just looking at her.

"You're the last person I wanted to hurt. It's tiring disappointing you all the time. I've tried to be the husband you married, but I just can't," he whispered.

"I-I know," she hiccupped, breathing fast. "I should've seen it earlier. You've changed for months and… and you were never even close to being that man. Now you're finding yourself and…" she sobbed, shrugging her shoulder. "… and I don't fit in your life anymore."

"Maka…" He bit his lower lip, trying to hold back his own tears as he looked at her.

She took a deep breath. "Tell your parents I had to go… I'll have the divorce papers send to you once I get home." Her voice cracked and she sobbed loudly, quickly walking passed him and exited the gazebo, running through the rain back toward the mansion.

Tears fell from his eyes as he watched her leave. His heart was racing and hurting, still hearing her cry out her pain even now when she was twenty yards away. His body trembled and his knees gave him. He let out a sob and he hugged his own body. The cold was stabbing through him and taking away the little warmth he contained.

Why was he hurting so? He didn't love her, but the pain was unbearable. He still cared about her. She was his best friend. His safe haven he could always count on. She always knew how to make him laugh and she was always willing to be there for him no matter what.

He let out a cry of pain as he repeatedly punched the floorboards of the gazebo.

He didn't want to hurt like this. He didn't want to be without Maka. She was his inspiration and the best god damned thing in his life. She was so god damned selfless and she always put his miserable ass before her own. How does he repay her? By going behind her back and talking to Anya when he should've confided in her.

How could he be so stupid? How could he do that to her?

He didn't want her to go.

What was he going to do without her?

He gasped for air as he got up on his trembling legs, almost falling when his world tilted and his vision was growing darker. His breathing was quickening and with shaky hands, he ripped at his tie.

Fuck. He couldn't breathe. Was he having a heart attack? It didn't matter.

He had to go after Maka.

His muscles screamed as he stumbled toward his umbrella, unfolding it and he hurled himself out of the gazebo. He tried to take deep slow breaths, but it was in vain. It was like breathing through a straw.

He was having an anxiety attack.

He couldn't. Not now. He needed to find Maka. He needed to find her. He couldn't live without her! He needed her to function!

His eyes searched to name five things he could see just like Maka had taught him, but his vision was too blurry and dark to be able to see anything. He stumbled forward on his noodle legs, air refusing to fill his lungs and before he knew it, the umbrella left his hand and he came crashing down and the world he had come to know was no more.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

Soul gasped for breath as he sat straight up. "Maka!" he screamed, eyes on high alert as he searched for Maka's emerald eyes only to find his brother's blue ones, his mother's saphire ones and his father's brown ones. "Where's Maka?! I-I've to find her!" he breathed quickly, his entire body trembling and his heart was going haywire.

"Son, breathe," Alistair calmly spoke.

Soul chipped for air as he clutched onto his chest. He couldn't breathe!

Alistair quickly fished up an orange bottle from his pocket, grabbing a pill. Before he even knew it, Alistair shoved the pill in his mouth and forced him to drink the water from the glass he held to his mouth. He waved his hands in protest, but before he knew it he had swallowed the pill. He smacked the water out of his father's hands and it shattered on the floor.

He gasped for air, coughing up water. "Where is Maka?!"

"Soul…" Wes started, rounding his bed and taking a seat on his bed. "Maka has left."

His heart cracked and it resonated within his chest. "Nooo!" he screamed, hands fisting his hair as new tears were revived in his eyes.

He was too late. She was really…

Gone.

"No! No! No!" he cried as she shook his head, pulling his knees up to his chest. "You got to be joking. You aren't serious. Y-you're just joking with me."

"I'm not. I saw her before she left us with her suitcase and everything."

"Then why didn't you stop her!" he roared.

"Soul sweetie, it's not Wes's fault," Kathrine defended.

"Yes it is! He knew how important Maka is to me!"

Wes raised his eyebrow. "Last time we talked you were trying to get rid of her."

"I just wanted to be away from her for the _night!_ Not forever you fucking idiot!"

"Don't use such language!" Kathrine hissed back.

"Don't worry." Alistair placed his hand on her shoulder. "The pill should calm him down any minute now."

Soul was just about to sneer back at his family when he felt his heart slowing down. His muscles relaxed and even though he was high on his emotion, the anxiety that had nibbled on his bones was slowly disappearing.

He hugged his knees to his chest as he glared at his brother. "You had to stop her…" he whispered, silently shedding tears. "She's going to divorce me…"

"Oh honey…" Kathrine went around his bed and the mattress dipped when she took a seat. Her arms wrapped around him and tugged him to her. "Maybe you could call her and sort everything out?"

"He's not going to call her," Wes said.

"W-what?" Soul trembled in his mother's arms.

"I don't want to hurt you Soul, but you have known Maka for months and if you don't love her now, it's just better to let her go."

Let her go? How was he supposed to let her go? She was his safe pillar, his shoulder to cry on, his best friend and the only one who stood beside him no matter what. He couldn't just let go of what they had. He cared about her. He really did. Couldn't that be enough?

"N-no." He shook his head. "I-I have to straighten things out. S-she can't l-leave me."

"Soul…" Wes sighed. "It's over."

No…

No, no, no, no, no!

He couldn't let her go. He couldn't let her go. There was no way he could go on without her. Without her, he felt so cold and alone. He didn't realize before how much warmth and security she had given him before she had walked away. The sweet warmth she provided him through their phone calls, her presence within the apartment and simply knowing she was there for him. Without her, the world seemed a whole lot greyer and plainer without her. Law school didn't even matter anymore. All he wanted was Maka back.

Only her mattered.

His lips quivered and he ripped himself from his mother's arms, burying his face in his pillow, bawling out the pain erupting from his chest.

"I'm sorry, but we can't only think about your happiness. These passed months have been difficult for her and if you're not going to love her, then let her go and find the love you know she deserves."

She deserved? Of course she deserved happiness and love and everything good. She was the most amazing woman he had ever met. So caring and loving and yet she managed to stay on track with her career throughout the hard situation she was going through. She deserved her husband back, but he couldn't give her that. As much as he wished he could, he simply couldn't. But someone else? It left a rotten taste in his mouth.

He still wanted her.

He was so freaking selfish when it came to her.

But he had to suck it up. She chose to walk away from him and as much as he wanted to chase her down and tell her to never leave him, he couldn't. He cared about her. So much. And that meant he had to let her go. He really didn't want to see it, but he knew he had to. She deserved happiness. Even if her own journey for happiness didn't involve him.

It was time to let her go.

But it didn't make the hurt lessen.

"Wesley, can you please go back down and entertain our guests?" Kathrine asked politely.

Wes got the hint and nodded. "Okay mother." He got up from the bed and exited the room.

He kept on crying. There was no stop to his tears or relief to the wound ripped open in his chest. How was he supposed to accept this nightmare of a reality? How had he even managed before he met her? He could remember, but he couldn't phantom it anymore. How had he managed to stay so happy and working? He had Anya, but Anya and Maka were so far from being the same. With Anya it was always so safe and warmth, but with Maka it had always been a rollercoaster of emotions. But it had been so enjoyable. They had always had each other through thick and thin. But he guessed it had been enough for her to break.

Kathrine rubbed his back as he cried into his pillow. "I'm sorry honey, I wish I could take away all of your pain."

Take away his pain? No. The pain was his. It reminded him of Maka. The pain she had to go through. Living happily with her husband, career stable and set and on their way to create their own little family, but the motorcycle accident had stolen it away from her. Being confined away from her husband and not able to touch him as she wished or kiss him. Always waking up to him and wanting to kiss him god morning like always, but meeting him with a kind smile instead. He had no clue what the pain she had to go through, but this was at least a beginning.

"Is there anything I can get you to make you feel better?"

Maka.

Only Maka.

He shook his head. "I-I just want to be left alone."

"Soul…" Kathrine patted his back and stood up. "We'll be back when the party ends. If there is anything, anything at all, give us a call, okay?"

"Just go…" he cried.

She sighed and her heels clicked on the floor. "Come on."

"I'm not going quite yet," Alistair sternly said.

"Let him be for now. You can talk about it in the morning," Kathrine insisted.

"It will only take a minute."

Kathrine sighed. "Okay."

He could only roll his eyes. Not even his father could follow a simple set of instructions.

His mother went out of his room and as soon as the door clicked shut, his father cleared his throat. "I know you're currently very… emotional. But I think there's something more important to discuss at the moment since we just learned about it from Wes."

"I'm not really in the mood, father."

"And I'm not in the mood to talk to you about the importance of taking care of yourself so you don't get anxiety attacks. I thought you were enough grown up to take care of yourself."

Soul rolled his eyes, sniffling as his grip on his pillow tightened. "I seriously don't give a shit about that right now."

"Let me tell you a story then, son. When I was younger, just a child one of your relatives… wasn't a kind man. Because of him he triggered the anxiety we are genetically predisposed to. It didn't help me to heal the trauma he had inflicted on me… believe me, my parents tried everything from CBT, hypnosis, family therapy," he cleared his throat. "I had a lot of trouble being like all the other kids. I didn't know how to socialize, I still don't know how to socialize like your mother. Every time I was put in a social setting, I got anxiety and had to go away to take my pills."

He hadn't heard that story before. He hadn't really heard much about his father's past. He had always been stiff and let his mother do the talking. He didn't know, he just thought his father was naturally stiff and didn't really care about anything.

The mattress dipped as he took a seat right beside him, but made sure to leave plenty of space between them. "When Wes was born, I was so relieved he was like your mother. Nothing held the boy down socially, but when I saw you grew up, you were so like me. So reserved and quiet. I feared you would get severe anxiety like me. I prayed and hoped you would turn more like your mother the older you got, but you never did. You were truly like me."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Only when you carry the genes to an anxiety disorder," he cleared his throat again. "I know we haven't talked much and I should have talked with you about the anxiety, but I didn't want to worry you. Now when we know you've anxiety, it's _very_ important you take your medication to live as normally as you can. Don't care about what other people say, taking medicine for you anxiety is just as normal as having a cast on a broken leg. You see how much the pill I gave you helped you."

It did. It really did help him. The impending sensation of doom had disappeared and helped him relax in his haywire state.

"Do you have any pills?"

Soul nodded. "In the nightstand."

The drawer was pulled out and he heard the click from the bottle of pills placed on his nightstand. "Remember to take them in the morning. Try to relax, okay?"

Soul nodded. He waited for his father to get up and leave him alone, but he remained. He stiffened when his father's warm hand laid on his back.

"I know I haven't said it often, but I am proud of you. And I―… your mother loves you," as soon as the words were spoken, his father got up and finally left him alone to dwell in his sorrows.

…

He started taking the pill. It was all he did. He stayed in bed crying, eating the food his mother brought him, declined the offers of helping her out or taking a walk around the neighbourhood, falling asleep only to wake up to take his pill again. Nothing made sense anymore. His thoughts, feelings and behaviour made no sense anymore, and he hadn't the energy to deal with anything. All he wished for was for Maka to return. His father explained the first month of getting on the pill was the worst, it could make him depressed, but he didn't think it was because of the pill. He was sad before he even started taking his pills.

But it all changed when he was given the divorce papers.

"… and that's what it says."

"What?" he whispered and looked away from the paper in front of him to his brother.

Wes sighed. "The divorce papers. You'll split your things fairly. You'll get half the assets, or the money representing the value of it and the money for the recording studio, what's wrong?" Wes questioned him as he kept shaking his head.

"I don't want any of it."

"What?"

"I don't need her money. She already has debts up to her ears. She needs the money more than me."

"Soul, you're pretty much broke."

"I'll get by somehow."

Wes sighed and nodded slowly. "Very well, I'll contact her lawyer."

A few days later, he was delivered the divorce papers with the conditions he asked for. It absolutely broke his heart seeing her signature. Seeing _Maka Albarn_ so perfectly signed just like her handwriting. That really was it. They were done. As soon as he signed the papers, he felt his being torn apart.

…

He didn't care anymore. He was Soul Albarn without his Albarn and he still didn't know what to do. His hair was greasy and he hadn't brushed his teeth in days. His mother had pointed out his real hair had started coming out, but he didn't care. He hadn't even bothered with putting in his contacts or putting in his fake teeth.

Nothing really mattered.

He just wanted to be alone.

"That's it," Kathrine exclaimed as soon as she saw his barely touched lunch she had come in with at noon. "You're going outside."

"I don't want to," he muttered, turning away from her and pulling his blanket over his head.

"No, I'm not going to let you waste away in your room!" she roared. "It hurts, I know it has to, but would Maka approve of this behaviour?"

Of course she wouldn't. He wasn't dumb. But at the same time, she would understand he was hurting. Maybe she would come with a hot cup of cocoa and have a movie night with him to comfort him. Just thinking about her made his heart hurt.

"Leave me alone."

"No." The next moment his blanket was ripped off of him and his mother grabbed him by the ear. "You're coming with me!"

"Ouch! Okay, that hurt, let me go!" But her grip on him didn't relax the slightest. She forced him up from the bed and away from it before she released his ear. She opened his closet and threw clothes at him.

"Get dressed. If you're not dressed in five minutes, I'll do it for you." She went out of his room and slammed the door behind her.

He grimaced as he looked down at the clothes in his arms.

He knew very well if he didn't get dressed, she would absolutely dress him as if he was a three year old. Something he absolutely didn't want. But at the same time, staying in bed was much better than where the hell she had planned to take him. His mother would not have it and he knew the bed was off limits to him.

Reluctant he got dressed in the suit, but skipped the tie. After five minutes on the dot his mother went inside. She sprayed him with some deodorant to probably cover up his smell and some gel in his hair to cover up his poor state.

When his mother deemed him presentable, she pulled him out of their home and into the car.

"I called the dean at the law school and asked him for a tour around the school grounds and possible let you sit through a lecture," Kathrine spoke as she drove. "Isn't it nice? Coming out and doing something instead of being locked up in your room."

No. Definitely not. He would rather stay in his room forever.

"Don't be like that. Cheer up. Remember how happy you were when you found out you got accepted? You're going to start studying in autumn and you'll make new friends and you might even meet a good woman there."

"I'm not looking for someone new." All he wanted was Maka.

"You'll have to eventually. You can't only hang out with us when you've gone off to college. You need some more friends who you can talk to and hang out with. It will be great having those connections then when you get out and start working."

His future didn't matter to him. He could become a bump on the street and he still wouldn't care. That way maybe he could see her walking by in her cute pencil skirt and her emerald eyes widening the moment her eyes would lay on him, maybe offering a smile for old time's sake before she would walk passed him and continue on with her day. At least then he could see her. His attachment for Maka ran deeper than he thought. All he wanted was her again in his life.

He was too exhausted to even talk to his mother. Nothing good would come out of it. She was already pushing her limit in kidnapping him and forcing him to endure a day at a college surrounded with snotty people bragging about their accomplishments. Right now he didn't care to hear about the amazing program they had and how amazing their library was and if he wished, they could set up a room for him for the entire semester. He already knew all of this stuff. He had lost all of his memories of Maka, but he still remembered the month he went to college.

His mother kept on trying to make small talk and sprouted her excitement for this amazing opportunity his father had manage to fix for him. He didn't bother. She could kept going on and on about it and he still wouldn't care.

Kathrine pulled up in front of the university and she killed the engine.

"We're finally here. Have you missed this place?"

If she had asked him that question a few months ago, his answer would've been a clear YES. He was so happy when he found out his parents had pulled some strings and gotten him accepted to law school again, but he wasn't.

He silently got out of the car without saying a word to her.

It was boring. He was completely right with the dean bragging and bragging about the law program and showed them around the corridors he already knew. It hadn't changed that much and he still remembered that part. He didn't remember Maka, but he remembered _this_. He would trade his memories of the school for how he met her.

Kathrine talked eagerly, elbowing him occasionally in a poor effort of engaging him in their shared stupid excitement.

If he kept on staying there with them he would drive himself insane.

He excused himself and went inside of the nearest bathroom. She splashed some water on his face, resting his hands on the sink as he looked himself in the mirror. Water dripping from his brown died hair with white roots, red eyes staring back at him and pointy teeth as sharp as ever.

Who the hell was he even?

Who was even staring back at him? He wasn't Soul Albarn, hadn't been Soul Albarn since he woke up in the hospital. He wasn't some leather jacket, salmon sandwich eater, record studio owner and pianist. But he wasn't Soul Evans, living together with Anya with intentions of working at his father's company and he wasn't even sure about law school anymore.

Who was he if he wasn't Soul Evans or Soul Albarn?

He thought he was grasping who he was when Maka arrived in Los Angeles, but it seemed like it slipped away when she left him. He was back to square one, just as clueless as ever. If not even more. It was like these past couple of months he hadn't even learned a thing.

He grabbed a couple of paper towels, wiping his wet face and threw the paper towel in the trash can. The door creaked when he opened the door and exited, crashing right into the person right around the door. Papers erupted in the air like a volcano and coffee went flying.

"Oh shit, I'm so sor… ry?" Soul was quick to apologize, but abruptly stopped as he looked at the person he ran into. Black hair, subtle black glasses instead of the huge glasses his classmate usually wore. His face had aged, but he still remembered those dark brown eyes and his signature smile.

"Soul Evans," Kilik said as a grin grew on his face. "I never thought I would see you here again."

"Kilik…" Soul breathed, completely taken-back at his classmate, the one he had studied with and connected with. The only friend he really made at the beginning of his studies that he could recall. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm working here." Kilik started gathering the papers, Soul was quick to help him out. "Or actually, I started my own legal firm a couple of years ago and I teach here occasionally in property law."

Soul snorted and handed him the papers. "I knew you would become a great lawyer."

"Thanks bro. What happened to your eyes man?"

He opened his mouth before he closed it. He forgot. He always used to wear his contacts when he started law school to cover up his eyes. "They're actually my natural eye colour," he reluctantly admitted.

"No way dude! That's wicked! I've never seen anyone with red eyes before."

Soul fluttered his eyelids in confusion. Every time he had met someone, they hadn't reacted like that. Most distanced themselves from him or sneered at him because of his odd features. It wasn't often someone met him with such wonder and amaze in their eyes as they studied his features,

"And the white roots… does it that mean you're an albino or something?" Kilik asked as if he was a child on Christmas morning.

"Something along those lines."

"Oh! Open your mouth! Are those _pointy_ teeth?"

He didn't know what it was with Kilik, but his amazement and complete and utter regard to how unusual it was and… he was the only other person outside of his family and people he grew up with who looked at him as if he wasn't a monster. Except Maka of course. He didn't know what it was… but he was happy.

"Yeah, they are." He flashed him his teeth in a huge grin.

"Wicked dude! Is it a part of your albino thing?"

"If you're asking if I was born with the, the answer's yes."

"That's so awesome!" Kilik tilted his head at him. "But why did you cover it all up with contacts and all of that? You looked super cool with your natural features."

Soul snorted and grinned, slowly shaking his head. "Honesty, I don't really know anymore." Soul rose to his feet and sighed loudly. "It was nice running into you."

"H-hey!" Kilik quickly got up on his feet. "Don't you want to catch up? Or could I help you show you around or something? You're here for a reason after all."

He stopped.

Catch up? That was right! That was the answer! His memories stopped a month after he started law school. Maka didn't know what happened to him before he decided to move to Death City and his family was reluctant to tell him. Anya had only known he had changed, but Kilik… he could actually know something about his past.

"There is one thing you should know," he breathed as he slowly turned around, facing him. "I was in a motorcycle accident more than a half a year ago and… I lost a lot of memories after that."

He cocked his eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't remember years of my life. You're one of the few lucky I actually remember."

"Is it like a… you only remember things for a day and you then forgetting about it the next day?"

"This isn't like a movie. The accident whipped out my memory and I don't remember a lot of things." He braced himself. "All I know is something happened to me during my first year at law school. I asked around and nobody seems to quite know what happened to me. Everybody said I changed and I suddenly moved to Death City and cut ties with my family. Do you know what it's about?"

Kilik tilted his head. "Haven't your parents told you?"

"Told me what?" he questioned.

"You getting disowned by them."

The air was knocked out of his lungs as if Kilik's words had punched him in the gut. "I… what?" He shook his head. "Are you _sure?_ "

"I was there."

Another punch to his gut.

"You changed alright. I thought you went crazy when you asked if law school had any available piano to borrow for an hour or two. You started skipping class to play piano until one day you told me you were going to drop out and start studying music in Death City. Heck, only two weeks before that you broke up with your girlfriend."

It was what he already knew but… at the same time not.

"Continue," he urged.

Kilik shrugged his shoulders. "I don't even know, man. You told your parents about your plans and they totally flipped out. I was with you when you took care of the paperwork and officially dropped out. Just outside of the school your mother was waiting and you had a _very_ public fight. She said you were throwing away your potential and ruining the Evans name by wanting to pursue music. It basically ended with her screaming if you were going to start studying music, you were dead to them. You then stayed at my place for a couple of days before you brother had sent you money so you could afford a ticket to Death City to stay with him. And that's the last I saw of you."

His throat knotted and his gut grew heavy as if he had swallowed stone.

He couldn't believe it. All of this time… the reason he left home was the very people who protected him the most throughout his memory crisis. His parents moved to Death City just to be close to him for fuck's sake! His mother had taken care of him so diligently and all this time… they had abused his memory loss to play house with him again! They cut him out of their lives and here they were, using his memory loss for their own gain. To rewrite the past and have him enrolled in law school and work at his father's company as if he was their little project.

His mouth tightened as he nodded slowly. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

"No problem, dude. So how about we go and take a― hey, where are you going?"

He had walked away from him. Heart hurting and he felt like such a fool for letting his own parents do this to him when in fact they had thrown him out of their house for following his dreams. No wonder Maka acted like she did toward them. No wonder she was so cold toward them in the hospital. No wonder she kept on telling him to do what _he_ wanted to do when they were clearly pushing their agenda on him. It was his mother who brought him those law textbooks for him to look over, it was his parents' idea to start working at the company and it was his mother who broke the news to push him to move to Los Angeles! All this time he thought it was his own ideas and thoughts, but in reality it was _theirs_.

He was such a fool.

"Soul?" his mother called out his name from across the corridor. He speeded up as he threw the double doors open, exiting the building only to hear the doors slam open after him. "What's the matter, honey?"

"Don't call me that," he muttered as he descended the stairs.

"Okay, but can you slow down? It's hard to walk fast in heels."

He speeded up as he reached the end of the stairs.

"Soul! Hold on!"

"Don't even talk to me!" he sneered as he came to a stop, whirling around to her. "Don't ever talk to me again!"

Her eyes widened as she stared at him. "What's the matter Soul? Is it your medication?"

"You and father are my problems," he screamed. "I found out from Kilik what you did to me. You _disowned_ me!"

Her mouth opened and closed as her eyes pleaded toward him.

So it was really true.

"We were wrong to do that," she whispered, reaching out to him.

Soul flinched away from her touch. "I can't believe you two! You used the accident to rewrite the past and you pushed your own selfish agenda on me! You turned me into your own project for your own selfish gain! How could you do that to you own _son!_ "

"No, please, just hear us out. We only want what's the best for you―"

"What's best for me?" Soul blew a raspberry. "I don't even know what's best for me so how can you even know?" His eyes burned as he looked away from his dainty mother. "Don't ever talk to me again."

"You're not thinking clearly, sweetheart. Come with us and cool off at home."

"I'm not going home to strangers." He turned on his heel and he started to walk away.

"No, Soul!" his mother screamed after him. "Don't do this to us! We're _family!_ "

Some family they were.

He walked away, and thankfully his mother didn't follow. He had no intentions of going anywhere near his home, if it even was his home to begin with. His parents didn't even seem like his parents anymore. Not the parents he remembered. They would've never thrown him out of their home, but had he even known them at all? He had gone along with their plan for his future, thinking it was his own, but it was always his parents planting it into his mind.

He couldn't trust anyone.

He was so tired and so hurt. He couldn't quite believe it. After Maka had left him, all he had left was his parents and now… he couldn't even trust them.

He was truly all alone.

He arrived to an empty double bench and took a seat, crossing his arms. His body had run out of energy and with no clue of where he would go, so he stayed seated on the bench. He didn't bring his phone and he had no money on him, so a motel was out of the question. He didn't remember Wes or Maka's number by heart, so he couldn't call them.

Somehow, he had to come up with a plan, but not right now.

His brain was still getting used to the medication like his father had said, but maybe it was all a lie to get him drugged up? No. Maka had pleaded and encouraged him plenty of times to get him to start taking his pills again. His parents were liars, but Maka wasn't one. She had hid secrets from him, but it was with well intentions, she would never lie about something like this. He trusted her with his life.

The day went by and as he sat on his bench, his eyelids grew heavier and heavier. He cursed the damn pills for making him like this. But… he was tired. None of the students walking around on the campus looking at him didn't matter, he was just so… so… so… tired. A sigh escaped his lips as his eyelids shut and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep in public.

He groaned and he was surprised to find something soft against his head. His eyes fluttered open and he found he was no longer sitting up, but lying down on the bench. He found a familiar brown bag was under his head and an even familiar coat draped over him like a blanket. He looked over his shoulder at the bench right behind him and found his father's familiar brown hair, sitting and underlining papers in his hand.

Of course his parents wouldn't leave him alone.

"I take it _Katherine_ told you where I was," Soul spat out the name of his mother.

"She told me what happened," he explained as he set his papers aside, keeping his back toward him.

"I want nothing to do with you two." Soul grabbed his bag and coat and threw it his father, making sure the bag hit the papers stacked on the bench's seat and the coat to drape over his father's head.

"I figured so." His voice remained calm as he pulled his coat off of him and discarded it over his bag, not caring about his mess of papers scattered on the ground.

"Then why are you even here? I thought you two made it clear you did _NOT_ want me years ago."

"We would never think that."

"Well you made it pretty obvious when you threw me out and didn't talk to me in _years_ until you showed up in the hospital and tried to rewrite the past."

His father turned around and rested his arm on the back of the bench. "Of course we wanted to rewrite the past. What your mother said was in the heat of the moment and she regrets deeply saying it to you."

He blew a raspberry. "If she regretted it, I would've heard from you, but I didn't hear anything from you in _years_."

"That's when you're wrong. We tried to reach out to you, but you blocked our number. You did everything so we couldn't reach you. We knew we had made a mistake and we knew we had to live with it," he paused. "Your mother cried for days. Barely ate anything for weeks. She was a wreck because of what she did to you. She slept in your room to feel closer to you. It took her months before she could even function but believe me, the guilt ate away at her every day."

He rolled his eyes. "Like I would believe that."

"Believe what you want, we're not going to take it away from you like we tried to hinder your happiness." He reached toward his coat and started to dig through his pocket. "But what I want you to know is we thought law school was your happiness. After all, you only played the piano occasionally so we didn't think it was a real passion for you, but it was wrong for us to do what we did. You obviously had a passion for it since you opened up your own recording studio. We were so proud when we found out. Your mother even ordered the newspaper so she could cut out the article and frame it. She keeps it in her office to this day." He pulled out his wallet and pulled out one of his credit card, holding it out to him.

"If you think your money is going to buy my forgiveness, you're wrong."

"Not buy your forgiveness." His father grabbed his hand and placed the card in it. "We couldn't do the right thing before, so we're doing it now. The card has no limit. If you want to get away from us, buy and apartment and live on your own or visit your brother, you can do so. Just know your mother and I love you very much and we're more than willing to support what makes _you_ happy."

He didn't know what it was… but the way his father talked, he hadn't talked like that for a very long time. Maybe he had seen a glimpse like this when he was just a small child starting school, but after? Never. His father always standing behind his mother and letting her take care of them the time she had to spare when his grandma was unavailable and Blair was out doing whoever knows. If he was lucky he would get a couple of words out of him a week, his time after the accident he had gotten more interaction with him than his time throughout high school.

His father wouldn't lie to his family. He knew no boundaries. When they did something wrong, he wasn't afraid to say it even if it would hurt someone in the process. He never even thought he knew what empathy was.

But for once, he actually showed a _feeling_. In his usual blank eyes devoid of any feeling, he could see remorse and love. His father genuinely cared about him.

He patted his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I'll ask one time, do you want to come home with us?"

Soul raised his eyebrow. "Us?"

"Your mother is in the car."

Soul paused. "I will only go home with you on one condition."

"Name it."

It was easy. When his parents had abandoned him, another one had picked him up. That certain one needed something extraordinary for everything she had done for him.

"I want you to pay off all of Maka's loans and debt. I want her economic history to be picture perfect."

His father snorted, grinning as he shook his head slightly. "It has already been taken care of weeks ago."

…

Even though his parents had done something so atrocious and disgusting, he chose to return with them. Simply because he went home with them didn't mean he had forgiven them, far from it. He refused his mother's open eyes as she bawled her eyes out when she saw him and his father walking toward the car. He wasn't stupid, but right now, he was dependent. He couldn't afford losing them.

Everything changed after what he learned from Kilik. He called his brother and had it confirmed from him. He also knew about it, but didn't say a word because he knew it would destroy his relationship to his parents all over again and he couldn't do that especially when he asked for them and knowing how much their parents wanted to fix things between them.

He didn't know who to trust anymore. His parents lied, his brother lied, what next? Maka lied? She would've never. She promised him there would be no secrets between them and he trusted her with his whole heart.

A couple of days passed and he got dressed in his suit. It was the day of Anya's wedding and surprisingly, it didn't feel as rough and hard as he thought it would be. He headed downstairs, his mother had waited there for him, holding a gift in her hands. She knew very well he didn't want to talk to them, but she had simply given him the gift, saying it was a wedding gift to Anya and Tsugumi before she had went away.

He arrived at the wedding, expecting a heavy stone to be in his stomach as he mingled with the other guests, but there was none. It didn't appear when all were seated and the organ started playing and he saw them walk down the aisle. Instead a smile spread on his face simply seeing the beaming smile on Anya's face.

It reminded him of Maka.

…

"So this is where you have been hiding." He looked over his shoulder and seeing Anya approaching him outside of the wedding venue in the garden where he had been hiding away from the other wedding guests.

"Aren't you supposed to hang with your wife?" he asked and he turned back to looking at the red roses, holding his glass of whiskey.

"I wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay." She joined his side. "I know you're having a rough time at home."

"Rough is just the first of it."

"So how are you handling all of this?"

"I'm handling it, I guess," he sighed. "I just… I couldn't believe my own parents would disown me like that. And doing it just because I wanted to pursue music. I knew they wouldn't be happy about it, but going to the length of cutting me out… I would've never guessed it."

"I agree… I wouldn't have known either especially how much your mother cares about the family unit."

"It's whatever, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm handling it."

"I am concerned about you, though." Anya nudged his shoulder. "I also heard Maka divorced you and… you didn't answer any of my calls."

How could he? Maka had been so hurt when he was around Anya and especially when he asked her to take him back. He couldn't confide in her about this. They may be divorced but… he wanted what they had back. She had changed her phone number and he couldn't reach her, but he knew if there was a chance for them to be best friends again, he had to distance himself from Anya first.

And he was ready for it.

Watching Anya get married only reminded him of the way Maka looked at him with so much warmth and her eyes twinkling like stars in the sky. He didn't think much of it when the priest asked the crowd if anyone objected to their reunion, he didn't feel a thing. Only Maka was on his mind.

"She did…" he whispered, his heart clenching in his chest just at the memory of that tearful night. "I just wanted to be left alone."

"I am sorry things ended for you two. It seemed like you cared a lot about her."

"I did…" he shook his head. "I still care about her. I just wished we could've still remained in each other's lives without being married and all…"

It was a tragedy. He knew it must be hard for her, much harder for her knowing she was in love with him. He hoped after some time, she would reach out to him again and hopefully they could be friends as soon as the love she felt toward him was extinguished. How long it would take? He didn't know. All he hoped was it would be soon.

"Maybe you could be as soon as she has gotten over you."

But did he want her to get over him?

It had been strange and uncomfortable seeing the overwhelming warmth and love in her eyes when she looked at him, but now he missed it. Longed to see her again and the spark. It brought a smile on his face just thinking about her wide smile and her incredible beautiful eyes blowing his breath away. He wanted to see her again with that love in her eyes. Was that selfish?

All he wanted was Maka back.

His lower lip quivered and he looked away from Anya, tears burning in his eyes as he longed for Maka. He missed her so much. He wasn't supposed to cry, he wasn't supposed to feel this much toward her, but he was.

"Are you crying?" Anya asked.

He bit his lower lip and nodded. "She's just…" he sobbed. "She's gone."

"I know, I know." She patted his shoulder as he trembled. "It hurts, I get it."

It didn't just hurt, he was falling apart without her.

…

"Do things _you_ want to do. It's only you who can find who you are. That's why you left for L.A, remember?"

"I remember," he breathed out. "I really hope I'm going to make some progress here. Otherwise I would've rather been in Death City.

…

He came to a stop in front of the shopping window of a music store, staring at the black keyboard. A smile grew on his face, looking down at his watch Maka gave him for Christmas. He had time. He entered the store.

His eyes were drawn to the keyboard. He disregarded the cashier as he went up to the piano. He remembered playing a little on the piano in high school, it wasn't completely foreign. The keyboard lit up when he pressed the on button. His fingers hovered over the keys before he pressed down, a sweet and crispy clear tune resonated.

A smile grew on his face as he pressed down a different tune with both of his hands, a powerful tune coming out from the speakers. He started playing on a song he remembered playing in high school, his hands gliding and pressing the keys with confidence he hadn't known he possessed when playing the piano. He chuckled heartily as he kept on playing.

He was going to buy one of these.

…

He flipped the pages of the magazine in front of him, a smile tugging on his lips as he look at the information on the music program in Death City.

"There you are," his mother spoke as his father was close after her, joining him in their family library. They slid down into their seats by the table. "So what is it you wanted?"

Soul closed the magazine. "I called you here since I want to tell you both at the same time."

"Please tell us." Kathrine smiled so wide, so excited at being called by her son after such a long period of silent treatment he had given them.

"I'm going to move back to Death City," he broke the news.

Kathrine gasped, holding her hands over her mouth and his father's head dropped.

"And I'm going to start studying music again."

"This is it all over again." Tears were quickly welling over Kathrine's eyes and flowing down her cheeks. "I know we made a mistake, but please, don't leave us again."

"This isn't about you," Soul spoke. "This is about me. About who I am and that's what it should have been all this time. Law school isn't what I should be doing. Music is what's right for me and I'm going to start studying it again because I like it, not using it as an excuse to get away from you two."

"Does that mean…" Kathrine's crimson lower lip quivered. "You will call us and we can visit you?"

Soul nodded. "You're my family. If you will accept and support this change, we can stay in touch."

"Of course!" the chair shrieked loudly ash she hurried around the table and threw her arms around his neck, bawling into his neck. "Your happiness is what matters the most." She dug her nails into the collar of his blazer. "I don't care if you flip burgers for a living, as long as _you_ are happy, I'll be happy and incredibly proud. I don't care what anybody says."

A smile tugged on his face and he pulled away from his mother. "I know it might be a lot to ask, but I'll need your help. Can you contact the school and see if they could pull some strings and see if I could start this autumn? I think Wes would let me stay with him as long as I pay for groceries and pitch in with some money on some bills."

"Don't worry about anything, son. I'll make sure you get in," his father said.

"Thanks, father."

"And if Wes won't take you in, you've nothing to worry about. We could buy you an apartment close to campus if that's needed."

Soul shook his head. "You don't have to do that. All I want is to live as independently as I can and to do that, I want to work up as much money as I can myself so I can afford an apartment or living with Wes. I don't want to live on your money anymore."

"Oh Soul." A wide smile grew on Katherine's face. "You're growing up too fast."

Soul chuckled. "Mother, I'm not nineteen, I'm soon turning twenty-seven."

…

It wasn't his father who managed to fix him into University of Death City. All his father had to say was his name. The dean was very understanding about his situation and he allowed him to join the class as long as he paid his tuition, which his parents were very willing to help him out with.

Just like he thought, Wes opened up his doors for him and let him stay in his guest bedroom. All he needed to do was pitch in paying some bills and not play the piano during the night since it had _sucked_ when he did it when he played the piano during high school.

With the help of his experience working at his father's company alongside Blair, he had applied for some jobs and he had gotten one at _The Eternal Slumber_ as a receptionist. With the help of the little money he got, he could help pay the bills his brother required and support himself a little through his time as a student.

He was no longer going to run away from his mental health. He obviously had anxiety and the anti-depression medication clearly helped him, but there was still one problem left untouched. The memory loss. He knew he wouldn't get back his memories, but it had left him in disarray in his life. His identity was completely altered and he had trouble understanding his feelings and thoughts. He needed to meet with a psychologist to help unravel the giant ball of tangles in order for him to fully reveal who he was.

Everything seemingly fell into place for his travel back to Death City to pursue the things _he_ wanted. He hadn't felt more independent than he could remember after the accident. This was the right step toward a better future, there was just one gaping hole in his life he couldn't fill.

Maka.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

"Welcome back, brother!" Wes yelled, opening up his arms and rushing toward the cab the moment he had stepped out of it.

Soul's eyes fluttered at the tight hug, pat on his back. "Um, thanks. It feels good to be back."

Wes pulled away, grinning wide toward him. "You simply can't stay away from the desert, can you?"

"Yeah, because the whole death complex this city has is so intriguing," Soul snorted as the cab driver unloaded his bags from the trunk of the vehicle.

Wes chuckled and he pulled away, ruffling his hair. "You can take the boy out of the desert but you can't take the desert out of the boy."

Soul grinned and slapped his hand away. He thanked the cab driver before he got back into the car. He grabbed his bags, his brother quickly grabbing one of his bags. "Is this all you brought with you? I expected mother and father would hire a truck with all of your stuff."

"Nah. From the pictured you showed the guest bedroom looked quite small and you already have a bed and a desk, so I don't really need to bring much more things than that," Soul explained, his brother held the door open for him and he entered the apartment complex. "But I'll need to buy a keyboard and the literature to some of my classes. You want to come with me?"

"Sure, I took the afternoon off to help you settle in anyway."

Soul grinned. "Great."

They settled in on the elevator and it took them to the top floor. They exited and Wes opened the door to his apartment.

The time he lived in Death City, he had actually never been inside of Wes's apartment. He knew the address, but he had never thought of going there considering he lived in Maka's apartment with her. It was a lot bigger than her apartment for sure. He was welcomed with space and spacious dark furnishing. Some would say it was simple and typical bachelor but he would say it was his brother's lazy ass who didn't have the energy to furnish it beyond the necessities.

Wes showed him to his room and indeed it was small. A queen-sized bed, nightstand, desk and a lamp. It was it. He could probably squeeze in a bookshelf or he could have a stand to put his keyboard on instead of using up all the space on the desk.

"I took the freedom and invested a desk lamp for you." Wes grinned as he put down his bag. "Death knows you would sit and read in bad lighting."

"Thanks." Soul smiled toward his brother. "For letting me stay here."

"That's what brothers are for." Wes patted his back. "So how about going and buying that keyboard of yours?"

"Not yet. I would like to unpack and get settled in first."

"Sure. I'll order us some food then while you unpack. Sounds good?"

Soul snickered. "Still not cooking?"

Wes shrugged his shoulders. "Someone got to support the people working minimum wage. So what do you want to order?"

"Just order some calamari for me."

"Will do." Wes saluted him before he exited his bedroom.

While Wes was fixing lunch for them, he started unpacking his belonging. He dived to his red bag, quickly unzipping the bag. He threw the clothes he had neatly stacked and sighed with relief when he saw the frame Maka had given him was still perfectly intact. He retrieved the frame, smiling wide at the picture of him and Maka as he placed it on his night stand, knowing fully well he would be staring at it before he fell asleep. Hopefully he could see Maka now when they were in the same city again.

He crossed his fingers, hoping he would run into her so they could rekindle their friendship because if he was going to survive through college again, he _desperately needed_ her support.

He started unpacking his things, but his eyes would always travel back to the frame with the pictures and the vows he made to Maka when he still had his memories and a life. What he would give to go back in time and not get on the motorcycle to ruin everything. He's sure he would've been much happier than he was now. Even if he was happier than he was in a very long time.

He finished packing up his things and crammed his clothes in the small closet hiding behind the door. A small closet had its perks, now he had a reason not to buy anymore clothes.

The front door slammed shut and within a few moments, Wes was standing once again in the doorframe, the bag in his hand rustling as he shook it. "Lunch is here."

"Cool." Soul quickly caught on his blatant gaze on the photo frame. Soul raised his eyebrow and Wes ripped his gaze away from it, offering him a smile.

"Let's eat," Wes said.

What was that about? Soul watched Wes as he unpacked the boxes from the bag while he got utensils for them. They sat down by the table and started eating.

"I'm surprised you still have that photo you got from Maka." Wes finally broke the silence.

"It's a gift from Maka."

"It's a difference keeping it on your nightstand or keeping it in a box somewhere."

"It's a good photo." Soul took a bite of his food.

"Yeah it is considering I took it," Wes spoke as he munched on his spring roll. "I thought you didn't care about her anymore now when it's months after you two got a divorce."

Soul lowered his fork. "I still care about her. She's still my best friend and I miss her a lot," he whispered. "And I was hoping I could meet her again."

"Good luck with that considering she quit her job and moved."

His heart sunk in his chest and his stomach wrenched, his calamari rising in his throat at his words. "… what?"

"Yeah. She slammed her papers on my desk a week after the divorce was finalized and she quit." He shrugged his shoulders. "She said she hadn't a new job when she quit so I've no clue where she works now."

"But why? Why did you let her quit!" Soul sneered. "She loves working for you!"

He lifted his gaze from his food. "What do you think? You met by the front desk at my company and I was her brother-in-law. She couldn't move on with you reminding her everywhere she went, so she quit."

He had screwed up. He ruined her workplace for her. He was the reason behind her tainted workplace. How could he even make it better when he had taken away the one thing in her life she fought so hard for? All those nights she spent analysing stock was all thrown to the wind. And it was his fault.

"Where is she?"

"I don't even know. Like I said, she moved. One night I returned home from work and all your stuff was in front of my door."

"You got to know where she moved! Come on," Soul frustratingly pleaded, slamming his fist on the table. "There got to be _something_ you know where she might be!"

"I don't, okay? I've tried to call her but she has changed her number. The last time I saw her was when she packed up her office and took off," Wes explained calmly. "Why do you even want to find her so badly?"

"Because she's my _friend!_ " Soul screamed. "She's my best friend and that divorce shouldn't have changed anything! I still care about her as a friend and she cares about me too! I just want her to be in my life again and hang out and talk the way we used to do!" He bit his lower lip as his eyes burned with tears. "I just want _her_ again in my life."

Wes sighed, reached over the table and patted his arm. "You need to move on too. If she wanted you in her life, you would've still been in her life. She's healing and moving on and you should do the same."

Soul shook his head. "No. No. I'm not going anywhere until I see her again."

"You're just shooting yourself in the foot, Soul. Forget about her. You can find new friends at college."

"I don't want anybody else." The tears leaked through his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "All I want is her."

"But you can't have her," he calmly spoke. "You can't control what she wants, you got to move on. You have to stop loving her."

Loving her? He didn't love her. It wasn't the same feeling he had toward Anya. He knew he loved Anya and his feelings didn't match the feeling he felt toward Maka. He couldn't love her, right? Not now when she had divorced him. He couldn't love her now when they had ended.

But… the idea of loving her wasn't a bad one.

She was his best friend and he would be the luckiest to have her in his life forever as someone like that. He was never surer about the fact he was the luckiest man alive to have been married to her. It wasn't a crazy idea that he wanted to start a family with her and they had been so close to each other the way they were. He was lucky to have loved such a great and wonderful woman like the legendary Maka Albarn.

He knew he had done the right thing by keeping her last name.

"I don't love her," he muttered, pushing his fork away. "I'm not hungry anymore." The chair shrieked as he pushed it away and went to his room.

He couldn't love her.

Not now when she was gone.

…

He could read it. Barely grasp the complicated notes on the sheet music, but he could still read it. He had played around with his keyboard at home a little, but he hadn't tried any hard songs, just songs he already knew how to play since he _remembered_ playing them. The song in front of him… he didn't remember playing it.

How was he supposed to play a song he didn't know?

He could read the music barely, but it contained more complicated musical terms he hadn't seen before. The notes were easy to understand, but the add-ons he had no clue about.

He gulped loudly as he placed his hands on the keys, pressing down and the first note rung inside of the classroom. The second note followed in the silent piano room when his fingers changed keys. His hands diligently pressed down the keys as he read the notes on the sheet. He bit his lower lip as he focused, playing the notes as well as he could.

It was odd. He had never played this piece before. But he could play it so well. It was almost like he had played it before… but how could he play it if he couldn't remember playing it? That was how it worked. No memory, no skill. Right?

The final tune resonated inside of the small piano room, he quickly flipped through the sheets, finding the hardest and most complicated song out of them all with notes splattered on the paper in a fast beat.

If somehow he remembered how to play the piano without the memory, this had to prove it.

After reading through the sheet one time, he started playing. He slammed his fingers on the keys, fingers hurriedly smashing the keys as the chaotic music resonated within the room. His fingers ran over the keys and the piano produced the dark and chaotic sound he never thought he could produce. His fingers clumsily pressed the tones, but it still came out passable.

The bang of the last note sang in the room, hands lingering on the keys.

His mind clearly didn't remember the notes, but his hands had.

…

"That's very interesting," his psychologist Tezcla Tlipoca spoke as he wrote on his notebook, resting on his crossed legs. "Tell me more."

"I don't know what to say," Soul said. "Like… I never expected to be able to play those songs as well as I did without remembering playing them before. It's… creepy."

It was eerily. It was like waking up with a bloody axe and bloody sheets and not remembering how it got there or what the hell you did. Of course he knew he played the piano before the accident, even bringing in his salary by playing the piano and helping other musicians record their songs, but he never expected to be able to play as well as he had.

His teachers didn't share his thoughts on the matter. He showed his professor his skills and it wasn't long before he was sent to the student councillor. Since his hands remembered how to play, he could skip a lot of classes based on developing skills. He jumped right to advanced piano playing and the only classes he needed to take were the theory based ones. It opened up doors for him he hadn't thought could be open, if he chose to study really hard, he could graduate and re-earn his diploma in one year.

But he hadn't any thoughts of stopping there. He didn't want to return to his life recording music. He wasn't that kind of person anymore. He didn't want to try to fit the mould of his past life again, he wanted to do something different. One some level, he thought it had been Wes, Maka and his parents who tugged on him and pushed their agenda on to him, and it was true to some degree, but he had also tried to force himself to fit in with his memories unconsciously. Like… he knew better than to try to go after an engaged woman, but he had done it anyway not because he was madly in love with her, don't get him wrong, he loved Anya, but it wasn't the whole story. He went after her to regain the life he thought had been ripped away from him, to find that safe haven within himself to pick up the identity he remembered, and that way get over his identity crisis. The same with law school. It was what he remembered and being in the safety of the school would sooth the crisis taking place within him. It had never been about Anya or law school, it had gone deeper than that, and now he understood.

He wasn't going to do that anymore. He was going to consciously chose who he wanted to be. Not because it was what his family or friends expected or wanted, and certainly not because it was what he remembered.

So going back to become a recording studio owner was out of the question. He wasn't going to fall into that trap of trying to fit in the shape anymore. He was going to do something completely different. Now when he was able to significantly shortening his education, he was going to build on his education with one year to gain a teacher's credential. Becoming a music teacher seemed like the right thing to do.

"What's the reason behind your sensation of creepiness?" Mr. Tlipoca asked.

Soul shrugged his shoulder. "It's… I know I should've gotten used to it, but it's weird managing something that I shouldn't know. It sort of feels like during my sleep I played the piano for years or something," he sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "I don't really know."

"I see…" Mr. Tlipoca scribbled in his notebook. "Is there a different part of your life you want to talk about?"

He did.

Maka…

In his therapy sessions, he hadn't really talked about Maka. He had tried to keep it to a minimum, focusing on his life revolving around his memory loss and why he behaved the way he did. It was his first priority, to uncover who he was today, not to sulk about Maka.

But… he wanted to talk about her. She had always been a wildcard in his life. His entire life was unpredictable, but with his family, he had always had a sense of comfort and control, but there she was, a person he hadn't known much about and she cared so much about him when he barely even knew her name. She had been such a huge part of his life, what he had come to realize after the divorce, and he needed to unravel the mess and learn about it too.

And now he was ready.

"I do." He looked away from the man, out the window at the sunny day and the people walking through the street like usual. "You know before the motorcycle accident, I had been married for a really long time to this woman," he paused. "She… I don't know how to describe it other than she was my best friend throughout this process. She supported me in more ways and one and…" Mr. Tlipoca patiently waited for him to answer. "I got really close to her. She _loved_ me. It was scary when she told me she was in love with me. It shouldn't have been a surprise since we were married and all, but it still took me off guard."

"How come it surprised you when she told you she loved you?"

"That's a good question," he paused.

He hadn't really thought about it. They were obviously married and they weren't in a marriage where they used the other for financial stability or a green card. They had loved each other dearly and were on their way to create a little family. It should've been obvious that she loved him. The way she looked at him with so much passion and love, everything was there.

"I guess I didn't want to believe it," he settled on.

"How come?"

Soul snorted. "Man, you sure are asking the right questions."

He offered him a smile. "It's my job. So how come you didn't want to believe it?"

It was a hard question. Why didn't he want to believe it? Maybe because he was in love with Anya and he didn't want to have the responsibility of rejecting her? Maka was his best friend and she was the one who deserved the least to get hurt. Especially by him. She deserved the world and unfortunately he couldn't give it to her.

But the reason didn't feel as satisfying as he thought. It didn't shed light on his cloudy judgment.

He… why didn't he want to see the fact she loved him? It was an honour to be loved by such an amazing and stunning woman like her, so why had he ignored it?

"I don't really know," he confessed.

Mr. Tlipoca nodded understandingly. "Tell me more about the moment when you realized she was in love with you."

"It was a couple of months ago. Maka had asked me out on a date and it was a nice evening. We ate and then we watched a movie. She fell asleep on me and when morning came, she told me she loved me, had loved me even though I changed. She told me it didn't matter and she would love me in all of my states of mind."

"How did you feel when she confessed?"

"Confused. It felt like I was cheating on Anya even though we weren't a couple or anything. All I wanted was to get away from Maka and just… just clear my head really."

"Do you have any idea why you were confused?"

It was a good question. Why even was he confused to begin with? It was easy to feel. It was either happiness or sadness since he had to reject her. There was no in-between. But he was in-between. He was confused. Why? He shouldn't be confused since he didn't love her. He should've been sad by the news, not this confused.

"I don't really know. I know I shouldn't be confused since I don't love her, but here I am still confused."

"Would you say you've contradicting feelings about her?"

Contradicting? Why would he have contradicting feelings when he didn't love h―… if he didn't love her he wouldn't feel this way. He cared about her and he liked her as a best friend, but he wouldn't be as confused as he was if it was _just_ platonic feelings.

No.

It really couldn't be.

"You think I love her but I'm in denial?"

Mr. Tlipoca shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know everything about your life, but it seems like you've some unfinished emotional business you need to take care of."

"So you do think I love her?" he asked.

"All I'm saying is we've made progress in uncovering your behaviour in your everyday life and understanding why you do the way you do, but we've only scratched the surface of mapping your emotional world, especially related to your ex-wife." Mr. Tlipoca looked at his wrist watch. "Our time is running out, but is there something more you would want to talk about before we end our session?"

So he might love her…?

He shook his head. "No."

…

"So how are your lessons going? Aren't finals right around the corner?" Wes asked at the dinner table, munching on his hot chicken wings.

"Yeah," he breathed out, rolling the bone is his hands as he stared at his plate of hot wings.

"Are your classes going along well?"

"Yeah."

"Hey." Wes leaned forward and waved his hand in front of his face. "What is it?"

"What is?" He gazed up from his plate at his brother.

"You seem pretty absent? Did something happen at school?"

He shook his head.

"At therapy then?"

Nothing really happened. Simply thinking over his feelings to Maka. His therapy sessions with Mr. Tezca showed him his feelings weren't where he thought they were. The deeper they dug and talked about her, the more he thought about her, reflecting over every moment with her and analysing _why_ he did what he did. It had been hard in music class. Maka was always there on her mind. When he took a break from playing on his keyboard, he started thinking about Maka and scribbled some notes. It… the melody had turned soft and sensual he would call it, but was that all? He had taken the song to his professor and played it. She had applauded him and called it an excellent beginning of a very good _love song_.

And it was Maka who was on his mind when he wrote it.

He shook his head. "Not really. I was just…" he rolled his tongue inside of his mouth as he thought of the words to say. "What is love to you?"

"Love?" Wes raised his eyebrow. "Why are you asking?"

"It's just…" he sighed. "I wrote this song and my professor said it was a good love song so I was thinking what love really is and how it can be different to so many people. What is love to you?"

"Well," Wes inhaled loudly. "I don't know if I'm the right person you should ask this question since I haven't had any relationship for a while."

"But what is love to you?" Soul quickly added.

Wes licked his fingers from the sauce. "Love… it is really complicated when it's the deep meaningful love for another person. It's not just about the sexual attraction toward each other, you've got to have chemistry and common interest and values. There is so much you need to have that complex and deep love for someone and in this age when it's so superficial and people think with their genitalia instead of their hearts, it's difficult to find that one true life partner."

"Oh… do you think people find their true life partner?"

A smile spread on his face as he nodded. "Yes, your first year with Maka and how well you connected, it made me believe people could really find their soulmate. The way you looked at each other and connected so well on all levels, it really was inspiring."

Him and Maka again.

"If Maka and I were really life partners, why aren't we together then?"

Wes shrugged his shoulders. "Life changes. You obviously changed and when there's a ripple in the water, it affects everybody and the water has to adjust for it to work."

On an instinct he reached to his head, feeling the rise and the fall of the scar that changed his life and stole his memories from him. "But aren't soulmates supposed to stick together no matter what and… you know, never argue and have this amazing chemistry and everything is just flowers and ice-cream."

Wes snorted and broke out snickering. "Come on, you truly think relationships can be like some fairy-tale? Everybody fights. Everybody disagrees once in a while and all of that, it's about how you work it through and stay together that matters. And… who knows life isn't over and you've a lot going on for you. You're practically a new person so a new soulmate will come along eventually."

Soul raised his eyebrow as he let his hand fall from his head. "You think so?"

"Why not? You're still a good catch. All the women would die to have someone like you by their side."

"Even…" he gulped. "… even Maka?"

The smile on his brother's face fell and he massaged his neck. "Soul," he sighed. "Let her go."

Let her go? He was preaching about the amazing bond they had before the accident and how they were life partners and… it was like he said. Soulmates were complicated. They argued and they had their obstacles with his memories and his identity and it truly was a _huge_ hinder in their relationship. But Maka worked _hard_. She did always everything she could to make him comfortable. She even let him go to Los Angeles. She put him above herself and she bent backwards to accommodate him. Everything she could do, she did it for him.

And what did he do to meet her in the middle.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He pushed her away. He ignored her and did everything he could to put distance between her and everything that bound him to her and his life before the accident. He couldn't even try to fix the scratches on his motorcycle. He didn't even go and check out the recording studio. They were supposed to be life partners, and Maka was the perfect one and he just… he was a very lousy one.

"What if I would want to try and see where things would go with her?"

"Let it go. You had your chance and it wasn't working out for you two."

"No." Soul shook his head. "We didn't even try― _I_ didn't give it a try and now when I know more who I am, I'm starting to believe there was actually _something_ there," Soul desperately pleaded. "I think… I think I'm falling in love with her."

"Then stop falling." Wes got up from his seat and rounded the table, cupping his shoulders as he stared into his eyes. "You've almost been divorced for a year. Give yourself a break by moving on yourself. Forget all about her and move on to someone new."

He shook his head. "I can't," he whispered. "I-I can't."

"Of course you can."

"No. You don't understand. I _can't_." He brushed his brother's hand away from him, gripping his head. "In therapy all I want to talk about is Maka. In class all I can think about is writing music that's about _her_. She's always on my mind and even when I try, I can't think about anyone or _anything_ else than her. I know I feel something so strong toward her and I… I don't want to let that feeling go."

"You will have to eventually. She's moving on and who knows, she could've met a different guy and is happily in love for all we know." Wes made another attempt and grabbed his shoulders. "Don't torture yourself by trying to save an already sunken ship. You're only hurting yourself by keep digging in your feelings toward her."

"No." Soul shook his head furiously, his white bangs whipping his face. "All I needed was to find myself more and now, there is no way I can't stop thinking about her. I think…" he bit his lower lip as his eyes started to burn with tears. "I think… I really do think I might've always loved her. I just didn't realize it with all the things I had to deal with. Now when I've found out about myself… I'm _finally_ dealing with this love I have and…" he blinked and tears trickled down his cheeks. "I love her and I want to be with her… _my wife_."

It was all falling into place. The puzzle that had been shattered in the events of the motorcycle accident, it was finally completed. He loved her. He had truly loved her all this time. Or most of it. The fluttery feeling at Christmas, he was falling in love with her. His nervousness at their date, it was because he loved her. And the confusion at the dinner party was because he loved her without knowing it, the feeling demanding to be heard as it tried to break free from the mould of best friends he had labelled it as. He had always loved her. She was his rock. How had he treated her? He had treated her like gum under his shoe. He should've taken a moment to look at it from her perspective and removed himself from the equation for once. Of course she wouldn't like the fact he was hanging around his ex, especially since the last memory he had was of them being together. And he had hung around her the whole night instead of spending it with Maka and _communicating_ his unease and confusion. Maka was the last one to judge him. She had always supported him, so why had he run away?

Who was he trying to fool? He was scared of his own feelings.

With Anya it was… comfortable? Tame? Familiar? Now when he knew what love was, he wouldn't describe what he had with Anya as love. It was… a strong sense of like and compatibility. His feelings were nowhere near the sensation of love. He never loved her. She was safe and normal, and it was what he wanted in his state of confusion and identity loss. All this time he had used his feelings toward Anya as an example of what love was like when in fact it was so far away from the truth. What he felt toward Maka, it was love. The burning passion and force of attraction. It was a sensation he had never experienced. It truly was the deepest and most pure sensation of love like Wes said. They were truly life partners.

But they were divorced.

Wes sighed, leaning closer and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back as he embraced him tightly.

"I… I love her," he sobbed. "I love her so much. I… I want to be with my wife."

"There… there…" Wes patted his back. "I know it's hurting…"

Hurting? He was being ripped apart by the truth! It was even worse than the sensation at the gazebo! His heart was torn into two and twisting in agony at the realization he loved her so much, and yet he couldn't touch her, laugh with her or… kiss her.

It truly was too late.

…

He hated his psychologist. At the moment he wasn't very fond of Mr. Tlipoca at the moment. After he had broken down and cried rivers as he vomited out his love and feelings, he had suggested _exercise_ to help him cope with his feelings. It would produce those good hormones and make him feel good and… all that crap. All he wanted was to wallow in his desperation and sadness and his completely maddening attachment for her. He loved her and needed her so badly.

He needed his wife again.

But here he was at a gym instead of crying and producing sappy love songs all inspired by the one who got away.

He released his bag and it crashed on the ground, the bad scent of sweat hit him right in the face. Men groaned loudly as they lift weights and the metal rustled as it clanged together.

Here he was. He might as well give the whole exercise and good hormones a shot. He took a seat at the chair of the machine and the bar hung in front of him. He grasped it and started pulling, instantly meeting a fierce resistant. He glanced at the weights. It could be considered a reasonable weight for an average man to lift, but he hadn't lifted anything heavy in a while. He used to lift a little bit in high school, but he wasn't ripped or anything. It was a goal, but it wasn't a priority once he and Anya got more serious.

Maybe this was the time he could get ripped. His body certainly wasn't in the same shape when he was younger and the rehabilitation and stuff after the accident wasn't kind to his body. All the muscles he remembered having wasn't there anymore, he hadn't been this weak and out of shape since… since _never_.

He guessed he was back to square minus five and he had to work up his muscles and build them up again.

After easing on the weights, it was much easier lifting, it was still tough, but he was managing. This way he could get stronger and back in shape. The corner of his lips tugged at the thought. Maybe if he ran into Maka, his strong and lean body could win her back. She wasn't that kind of girl, he knew she wouldn't fall for a six-pack and glistening muscles, but maybe if they were on him she could reconsider.

He didn't know what it was with working out at the gym, but as the sweat came and his muscles started to ache with something other than tension, it felt sort of good. He felt proud of the sensation of building up his muscles.

Gym session after gym session went by, his visits became more often as he felt himself grow more motivated when the first heavy weights grew lighter and he could start lifting heavier weights. Not to forget, his body grew harder and outlines of muscles started appearing on his body. He made a mental note to thank Mr. Tlipoca for the tips.

"Again!" A voice hollered over the booming music near the boxing ring. "Get up and try again."

Soul heaved and he sighed as placed the bar back where it belonged. He heaved himself up into a sitting position, grabbing his towel and wiped away the sweat.

His eyes fixated on the boxing ring across the gym, seeing a young man, possibly in his late teens training with a man he assumed was his coach. A coach who had obscenely neon blue hair sticking out in all different directions.

It wasn't anything about him that was… he didn't know, but when he looked at the coach, he could swear… it was something about him that shook something within him, but he couldn't put his finger on _what_ it was. He would remember meeting someone with blue hair like his.

He couldn't look away. It was as if it was right at the tip of his tongue, wiggling and twisting around, clinging on to his flesh so it wouldn't shake loose any memories. Where? Where had he seen that guy before? Could it have been a person he knew before the accident? Or… could this mean he was starting to remember―

The coach suddenly looked his way and their eyes locked. The doubt he had that they might know each other was gone. They _knew_ each other. The coach's eyes widened and his eyebrows knitted together. He told his student something before he jumped over the rope railing, out of the boxing ring and he started marching toward him.

His throat ran dry at the tension in his eyes as he stormed toward him.

"Soul," he spoke as he stopped in front of him. "I never thought I would see you here, especially after you ditched the opening day of the gym."

"U-um," Soul stuttered, standing up with his towel hanging around his neck. "We know each other, right?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot your whole memory was whipped away after the accident." The coach offered him his hand. "I'm Black*Star. I'm Tsubaki's husband and we were friends with you and Maka."

It hit him. It was the man in the wedding photo! They were friends, practically his family. This was the guy he was friends with. And it meant… he _had_ to have a way to contact Maka.

"I remember that part. I saw pictures of you and Tsubaki," Soul said as he grabbed his hand, shock hit him when Black*Star pulled him into a one-armed hug and patted his back in a manly hug before he pulled away.

"That's us." Black*Star grinned. "So what brought you to my humble gym?"

"Pretty much like everybody else, work out and get some muscles."

"Did you know it was me who owned the gym?"

He shook his head. "No. My psychologist gave me the tip."

Black*Star raised his eyebrow quizzically. "You go to a psychologist? Man, the accident must've _really_ fucked you up."

"Considering I had an identity crisis, yeah, it did make an impact on me." He flashed Black*Star a smirk. "I'm better now and… I know myself better than I have in a really long time."

"That's great dude!"

"You Black*Star!" his student called, holding up the mitten he had thrown on the ground.

"I'm coming!" Black*Star called back. "When will you return the next time? We could lift weights together and I could show you some cool stuff."

"Sure."

Black*Star was cooler than he first imagined. Once you saw passed the grandiose personality he possessed, he was a good guy. He wondered how he managed to stay friends with him since he was _a lot_. How Tsubaki managed him was beyond him. When they worked out, Black*Star's favourite pass time was retelling all the embarrassing stuff they had done together.

For an example in their senior year of college when they were out clubbing, they had gotten so drunk he had passed out under a table and Black*Star had taken the liberty to draw a penis on his face. Black*Star had even showed pictured of him. He couldn't believe he had done something like that. Sure, he had his phase in high school, but that? Passed out at a club like that. It was so embarrassing.

What was the most frustrating was he _never_ mentioned anything about Maka. Not even a word or a hint. He tried to steer the conversation toward her, but he didn't take the bait. There he was. Right in front of him. His link to Maka and it was so annoying not being able to hear _anything_ about her.

"You know you got to start taking protein shakes to compliment your training. If you want to look just as ripped as the great _ME_ you got to use some good supplements," Black*Star spoke as he sat on the bench beside him, shirt missing and towel leisurely hanging on his shoulder.

"Yeah. I know," Soul huffed as he lifted the weight, bench pressing as many reps as he could. He exhaled as he put the bar back, breathing heavily.

It was starting to bother him how little information he was getting about her from Black*Star. Every moment he spent with Black*Star made the urge to find out about her even stronger. He wanted her, _needed_ her. He was in desperate need of that information.

He couldn't be so close to a way to her without finding out about her.

He sat up on the bench. Black*Star threw him the towel and he caught it, wiping the sweat from his face. "Hey, I was wondering a thing."

"What is it?"

"How is Maka doing?"

Black*Star went paralyzed. Eyes wide as he stared at him as if he saw death flash before his eyes. "No," he growled like an animal. "No." he repeated with more power. "You're not going to do that to her."

"I'm not going to do anything," Soul reassured. "I-I just wondered how she's doing."

"You're not going to stroll back into her life to fuck things up for her again!" he hissed as he got up from his seat, muscles flexed and his body towering over him even though he was shorter than him. "You're divorced! It's over! You've no right to ask how she's doing!"

"Black*Star, calm down, I just want to talk to her―"

"Talk to my fist." Before he knew it his head whipped to the side and he tumbled backwards, hitting the ground. His left cheek pulsing in pain as he slowly turned to look at Black*Star.

"You're not going to break her again. She has been through enough." Black*Star grabbed his water bottle from the ground and tossed it at him. "Drink up and go home. When you come back you're not going to ask _any_ questions about her, got it?"

…

Everything became harder after he realized he loved her, especially hard after he blew his chance with Black*Star to earn her contact info. Every time he thought about Maka (which was _very_ often) his heart would tear knowing he was the reason she divorced him. He wanted so dearly to give them a try, a _genuine_ try where he wouldn't run away from his feelings or fumbling around after who he was. He was figuring it out and he was ready for the deeper and sweeter _more_ with her.

His deepest desire tortured him in his dreams, dreaming of him and Maka once again reunited only to wake up all alone with a horrible tent.

There were no means of reaching out to her. Every time he tried to call her cell, it reached a dead-end. As creepy it was, he had went passed the apartment a few times even though he knew she didn't live there anymore, but he enjoyed looking at the blue door to the quirky apartment they used to live together and enjoying all the memories they shared inside of the apartment. All the movie nights, times they spent cooking together and his last night in the apartment… how they had shared his bed and fallen asleep together. He missed the time he spent with her in the apartment.

He missed her…

The time away from her and his parents truly opened up his mind and made it possible for him to listen to what his intuition and heart was saying without them passively pulling at his arms in different directions. It… he could only describe it as the silence made it possible to hear the beating of his own heart. It was nice to be able to finally hear his own voice deep within his heart, but now, all he wanted was Maka.

Midterms came and went just as quickly and so did Eastern. One year passed since the divorce and the longing in his heart never stopped. He loved Maka dearly and she was like a living and breathing ghost in his life. When he cooked, he almost felt how she would bump her hip into his and how she pointed in the cookbook at the certain step to do. Or when he sat on the couch how he could almost feel her fingers feathering over his shoulders like she usually did when she went passed. Or when he touched his lips, remembering the jolts and sparks kissing her rosy lips had incited. Every day he woke up in his bed, seeing the phantom of her peaceful face sleeping on his chest or beside him only to drift away as sleep did the same.

Every day he wished for her to be in his life again.

But he couldn't.

"And that was the last box." Wes said as he placed the sixth box in his room. "This is all the stuff she left."

From the storage unit Wes had, they had carried up the boxes of the things he owned. He had expected it to be… well, more considering half of the things in the apartment were his even though he didn't _remember_ buying it or even _liking_ it.

"Shouldn't I have more stuff?" he asked.

Wes shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't go through the stuff. But hey, it will take a lot less time to go through it and throw it away."

It was his idea. His crazy and ridiculous thought about moving on and letting go of her. He would go through the stuff and then they would start a fire and burn it all. Wes had also taken the freedom of deleting the phone contact in his phone (which earned him a big fat punch to the stomach), even though the number wasn't even valid anymore, he still enjoyed looking at it. Too bad for Wes he had already memorized the number and put it back in his phone immediately. Although the thought to change his password to his phone didn't cross his thought and it had punished him with several dating apps _and_ he had swiped right on as many profiles as possible. Wes had even gone so far to buy _premium subscriptions_ to him on every single app!

Now his phone would beep from women messaging him asking over and over again if his white hair and red eyes were natural or photoshopped _or_ his favourite thing out of all, asking if he was some sort of catfish pretending to be a vampire to pick up chicks.

It was exactly what he needed.

Not.

"I'm not going to throw it away," Soul said as he kneeled down and opened up the first box.

Wes sighed heavily. "I didn't bring it all up for you to walk down memory lane and torture yourself."

"I know you didn't, but this is what I want to do and I don't really care what you think." He pulled the box closer to him. "You can leave now."

"Come on, bro, get rid of it all. Move on."

"You know what?" Soul turned around and faced his brother. "I'm sick and tired of you telling me what to do. I'm not the dependent lost kid I was over a year ago and I'm sick and tired of you telling me what to do and think you can intrude on my life with what _you_ think is right for me. I can make my own decisions without any of you pulling at me and pushing your agenda on me."

Wes raised his eyebrow. "Bro, I'm just trying to help you."

"Did you even hear anything I said?" Soul said sternly. "I don't need your help. I don't need our parents pushing what they think is right on me and I certainly don't need yours. I know how to handle myself on my own and I know what's right for me and what's right for me is to go through this stuff _on my own_."

"Soul―"

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all and leave me alone."

Wes sighed, neared him and patted his shoulder. "Good luck going through the things." He turned on his heel and exited his room, the door clicking shut behind him.

He was surprised to find in the boxes were things he did _remember_. Not exactly remembering buying, but remembering liking. There were some records he had liked out of his record collection he had. All the records he had explicitly told her he liked, it was all there along with his record player. He opened up all the boxes and found all the things he liked, it was all there. The cookbooks he and Maka used, the movies he particularly enjoyed, even the dark fluffy grey blanket he enjoyed wrapping himself in was there.

A smile grew on his face as he enveloped himself in the blanket, inhaling the lingering scent of their home and Maka. He could almost picture her sitting down beside him, tugging on the blanket and joined him underneath it as she held the bowl of popcorn. All the things reminded him of all the good times inside of that apartment with her.

It was all so clear. He couldn't believe he didn't see how in love he was with her. The stupid, crazy and maddening love brewing inside of him all this time. It was no coincidence he was married to _her_. There were no doubts why he woke up in the hospital married to _her_ and not Anya. Anya had been a phase, Maka was the real thing. She was wife material, mother material and the one he wanted to grow old with while they watched their children grow old and have their own babies for them to spoil.

Maka was that person.

There was no hurt as he went through the boxes, reminiscing about the past he shared with her. It was memories he didn't want to forget for a second. All he wanted was to carve the memories into his mind so no accident or sickness could ever take it away. All other memories could be robbed from him, just not a single memory about her. He would rather shorten his life than forget a moment he shared with her.

He laughed cheerfully at the cookbook that was in the bottom of the box. It wasn't just any regular cookbook they had been using, in fact, this was one he hadn't touched. He wasn't even sure if he had touched it much before the accident since the price tag was still on it at the corner of the back of it. He was surprised Maka even gave him the cookbook considering the cover contained a chocolate covered strawberry pressed against a man's strong lips.

The book cracked as it was opened for the first time. A receipt fell from the first page and he grabbed it. It was dated the day of the accident. He… it was a distant memory, but when he found the pregnancy stuff, Maka had mentioned about a cookbook about aphrodisiacs. This had to be the cookbook she had talked about.

A smile spread on his face as he flipped on the pages in the cookbook till he came to the index. There was a list of all different kinds of recipe to every meal of the day along with facts about aphrodisiacs and a lot of sexual facts. Maybe this was a sign when she packed his things that she still loved him and wanted it to kindle the love within him?

He didn't need it for him to realize he loved her.

He raised his eyebrow when he reached a page of a certain chilli chicken recipe dinner and a paper fell out of it. He unfolded it and found an address for a restaurant named Aphrodite. He had never heard about it before.

A quick google and he found out it was a restaurant and a small grocery store to buy aphrodisiacs. It was quite close to where they lived actually. He… on the day of the accident, he bought this book, he had to have plans of making this chicken dish and buy the items at that place.

He shrugged his shoulders and closed the book.

Why not give a shot making it? After all, the dish cost him his memories. It had to be a _really_ magnificent meal!

He shrugged off the blanket and brought the cookbook with him as he exited his bedroom.

"No tears? That's great!" Wes immediately pitched in from his seat by the kitchen table.

Soul snorted at his brother. "It was nothing worth crying about. It's not like it's a _bad_ thing. The memories I have with Maka are good ones."

"Maybe I underestimated you." Wes grinned at him as he closed his binder of papers. He bet was papers on stock and work-related stuff.

"More like you're too overprotective." Soul went over to the hallway. "I'm going out to buy some groceries for dinner. I found a really cool recipe I want to try out."

Wes inhaled sharply. "Yeah, I've to pass unfortunately."

Soul peeked out from the hallway as he put on his coat. "You've got work or something?"

"Actually… I might have a date tonight."

He raised his eyebrow. "You're kidding? You haven't dated in _years_."

"Well, a certain journalist wanted an interview with me and let's just say sparks flew and… there could be something there."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Elizabeth Thompson, but she prefers being called Liz."

Soul nodded slowly. "Alright, okay, well, have fun on your date."

Wes grinned toward him. "I certainly will."

He exited the apartment, the cookbook firmly squeezed under his arm. The moon was out, laughing down at the citizens as he wandered toward the restaurant.

It didn't take long before he arrived at the restaurant. The bell chirred as he entered and the store part of the restaurant was just ahead. There was all kind of different foods at display with small facts about fertility and increase in stamina.

It was a little bit strange being in the same restaurant he was in on the day of the accident. This was the place he brought Maka. A place all about fertility and improving the love life. He got to admit, it was sort of romantic place. He chose well when he brought her to this place.

If he hadn't been in the accident, he would've still had all of his memories and by this time, he would've most likely been a father and the most amazing woman would've been the baby's mother. How he wanted that. Of course he wanted kids one day and there isn't a person he would've wanted it more than with Maka. She was perfect.

The cashier helped him pick all the ingredients he needed for the recipe. He paid for the items and he placed the cookbook in the one paper bag. He exited the door and he was on his merry way home.

Wes and Maka never told him _where_ the accident took place, but it had to be close, right? Somewhere nearby was the location that changed his life drastically. He came to a stop and adjusted his grip to touch the scar buried in his hair. The mark to remind him of what he had lost and the future that was his.

His hand dropped and he sighed.

Whatever, it wasn't anything he could change.

He continued walking and he rounded a corner and―

He crashed into someone and his groceries spilled from the bag and noodles went flying.

"Oh no! Watch where you're…" the woman's sneering softened when he found himself staring into the familiar green eyes of Maka. "…going," she whispered.

For so a year he had imagined all different kinds of scenarios how he could meet her and how it would feel and be. None of them was like this.

Instantly his heart picked up and his hands trembled with nerves like a teenager talking to their crush. This was more enhanced and stronger than he could've ever thought.

"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered and he cursed his voice for wavering. "I-I didn't watch where I was going."

"N-no." she shook her head, her beautiful hair wavering in the wind. It was captivating. "I-I should've paid more attention."

He didn't know what to say. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. How much he cared and longed for her for so long and how in her absence, he had grown to love her.

"I-I'm sorry about your groceries."

Soul shook his head madly, feeling his face flushing with heat. "N-no problem. Just a wash and they will be okay." He started collecting his groceries and placed it in his paper bag. Maka immediately started to help and grabbed his things, placing it in the paper bag. Her hand hovered over his bag and her eyes were glued at the watch decorating his wrist his jacket sleeve had exposed when he reached toward the plastic bag with chillies. She cleared her throat before she placed the last item in his bag.

His eyes fixated on the carton of noodles spilled out on the ground. "I'm sorry about your dinner." He nodded toward the mess.

"Oh… it's nothing. I could always go back and order another one," she sighed and straightened her back. "Well, it was nice seeing you again."

His mouth opened and she turned around, starting to walk away. Panic set in his mind and the words spat out like vomit. "Eat me!"

She came to a stop and looked over her shoulder.

"O-oh not eat me, I-I mean." Fuck, he needed to get a grip! "Dinner. I ruined yours, I can cook for you," he gulped. "I-I've enough groceries for both of us."

She had fully turned toward him, face blank with thought and to his uneasiness, he couldn't read her, which only made him more nervous than he was! Never had any of his crushes reduced him to _this_. Not even when he experienced his first crush! This… this was only confirmation what they had was something truly special.

"… okay." A huge smile grew on his face. "Yeah, that would be nice."

"Great." He neared her. "I'm staying with Wes, it's not far from here."

"But I brought my car. Where am I supposed to park it?"

"You can take Wes's spot. He's out for the night anyway."

"Okay."

It was so special. Being near her again. It was such a difference from what he felt at their date. It had been special then, but now when he knew himself, it was something on a completely different level. As he followed Maka to her car and she drove to his apartment, they sat in complete silence. He soaked up every second and every minute he was in her presence. This… this right here, he didn't want it to end.

She parked in Wes's spot and he led them up to his apartment. He unlocked the door and they entered the apartment.

"So…" Soul exhaled as he kicked off his shoes. "This is where Wes and I live."

He watched her carefully as she took off her outdoor clothing and she entered the apartment. A small smile played on her lips as she looked at the living room. "Wes hasn't changed a bit."

"He's still the same old Wes you remember," Soul said as he entered the kitchen, unpacking his groceries.

"Would Wes ditch you when you're visiting for work? That's something new," she asked as she took a seat by the kitchen table, watching him as he washed off the vegetables.

"Um, well, some things might've changed. He's not ditching me, I've lived here for around eight months now."

"You have?" she spoke with genuine surprise in her voice.

After he had washed all the groceries he turned around to gaze on her glory and beauty. "Yeah, I have." He grinned as he dried his hands on a towel. "I actually dropped out of law school and now I'm studying music."

"You are?" If she was surprised before, she was astonished now.

He nodded. "Yeah, law wasn't my thing and when everything had settled down, I knew music was the right thing to do. Once I got a hold of a keyboard I couldn't stop playing."

"That's great! So how are you doing in school?"

"I'm doing pretty good I would say. I can actually skip a lot of the practice classes and only take the theory stuff."

"Really? Why?"

"It is weird, really. I can't remember how to play the piano after the accident, but my hands seem to remember so I just needed to start playing and everything sort of… it just came to me. So I'm going to graduate in a few months."

"That's really impressive!" she gushed.

"Yeah, it's quite incredible actually. Once I get my degree again, I plan on taking the teacher's credential and become a music teacher."

"That's incredible and very good of you. I'm sure you'll become a wonderful teacher." She beamed at him. "I'm very proud of you."

His heart swelled at the words. She was proud of him. It was all he needed to know. "Thank you. It means a lot coming from you."

A soft smile spread on her face. "It's nothing, really. I always knew you could do anything you put your mind to it."

"It does, actually. You were always there and supported me throughout our time together… you were the one who truly accepted me for who I am and not for the person you remembered."

She inhaled suddenly, standing up from her seat. "Um, do you want me to give you a hand?"

His heart clenched at the obvious change of subject, but he allowed it to happen. He didn't want their night together to end badly or get awkward. It was over a year ago since they last saw each other, he needed to take it slow and steady so they could get used to each other again.

"Sure, you can help me slice the vegetables."

"I'll take out the cutting boards. You can get the knives. They are in the third…" his voice faltered when Maka had already drawn out the third drawer, retrieving two knives.

She offered him a smile as she offered a knife to him.

She knew him too well.

It was almost like usual. Cooking together as they followed the recipe's steps except this time, he wasn't that inexperienced. Cooking wasn't that boring and complicated as he thought it was. All he needed was Maka. He owed her all the credit for discovering his interest in cooking. Without her help and patience and support, he wouldn't be where he was. Besides, it truly was fun cooking with her.

After they had cut up the vegetables, Soul had taken care of the chicken and put it in the oven, Maka had taken the freedom of decorating the table. The corners of his lips twitched with a smile when he caught sight of a blush on her face.

She was too cute.

She went over to the oven, kneeling down and looking inside through the window. He joined her and their knees brushed. "Do you think it's done?" he asked, shoulders brushing. All he wanted was to lean into her and press his lips on her cheek or wrap his arm around her waist. Never before had he experienced this drawing sensation to someone. Never had he wanted to touch someone as much as he wanted to touch her.

"What do _you_ think?"

He smiled at her wittiness. "You had to ask?"

"I got to quiz you and see if your cooking abilities have improved."

He smirked. "Yeah? It looks pretty good."

"I would say so too." She grabbed the mittens and she pulled out the chicken from the oven. She made a cut in the chicken breast and he leaned over her shoulder to witness the chicken was white, but still quite juicy. "It looks really good. Your cooking has improved a lot."

The one detail that caught his full attention and couldn't make him focus on anything else was the hairpin in her hair. The one he gave her for Christmas. She still had it― _wore_ it.

He caught his breath and looked away from the hairpin. "Now we'll just have to see if it tastes good." Soul spoke as he grabbed their plates, handing hers to her. "Hopefully this won't be as bad when I tried to make pancakes."

Her cute giggle caused his heart to flutter in joy. "Luckily there was no way you could mix up the ingredients."

"Are you challenging me?" He grinned at her as she scooped up a chicken breast and placed it on his plate.

She placed the spoon back into the casserole and she flicked her index finger on his nose. "Oh please, you're not going to waste any food by _intentionally_ making mistakes."

"Yes ma'am." He massaged his nose.

They took a seat by the dinner table, the dinner was steaming hot and smelling absolutely mouth-watering, but none of it even came close to rival the beauty right in front of him. The one person who shone brighter than the sun, sparkled more than a diamond and the one person who held his heart. His forever partner, Maka Albarn.

He couldn't help but to notice her every move as she grabbed her utensils and cut into the chicken, her rosy puffy lips enveloping the fork. She let out a moan of approval. "This is delicious!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! It's really good! This might even be my new favourite meal!" She spewed compliment after compliment as she took another bite of the chicken. "You got to let me copy the recipe."

"You can borrow the cookbook if you would like."

She hesitated to his dismay. "What cookbook is it?"

"Um…" he swallowed hesitantly. "Aphrodite's foods."

Maka raised her eyebrow. "Since when did you get a cookbook like that?"

"I don't remember buying it, but I think I bought it on the day of the accident," he explained. "I found a receipt inside of the cookbook and the address to the restaurant Aphrodite."

Her mouth opened in shock, a perfect circle. "Oh…"

"I don't know for sure, but I think this was the dish I had planned to cook to you on the day of the accident."

She was silent. She lowered her utensils. "… It could've been," she whispered.

"In that case, you finally got to taste it. Was it worth the wait?"

She paused, lowering her gaze away from him to the plate in front of her. She nodded softly before it grew in strength until she could look at him again. "Yeah, better late than never."

A huge grin grew on his face as he gazed at her. It was true. Better late than never. It really applied to them, right? His eyes glanced to her hand resting on the table, he could see himself reaching out to her and laying his hand on her soft smaller one. But he wouldn't. Not quite yet.

"I take it Wes is still at work?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, he's actually out on a hot date with a journalist."

"You're joking." She raised her eyebrow. "Your brother Wes Evans? I tried for _years_ to get him out on the market without success."

Soul shrugged his shoulders. "I could barely believe it myself, but yeah, he's on a date."

"Have you met her?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I think this is their first date. If it goes well, I guess I'll meet her."

"I hope it works out for him. He certainly deserves to spend his life with someone."

Wes certainly did. After all the times he had been the overprotective brother he was to him, he certainly needed someone else he could focus his attention on. Now it would probably give him some space for him to relax without having him breathing down his neck.

"So, tell me, what have you been doing all this time? Wes told me you quit your job so…"

"Me? Well, after the whole project with Arachnophobia, I thought it would be good to work for someone for a change instead being in charge."

He raised his eyebrow in shock. "Why? You're so smart and you know what you're doing. Why would you settle for less?"

"I'm not settling for less." Her index finger circled the mouth of her wine glass filled with water. "I'm… I'm gathering experience. I thought it would be good for me to experience something different."

"You hate it!"

She paused before she blew a raspberry. "You're right. I hate it," she groaned, running her hand through her bangs. "I thought it would be good for me, but all I'm doing is getting coffee and printing out the stock charts. I thought they would at least be interested in my experience and knowledge, but they just aren't and they're treating me like I'm their P.A or something. It's humiliating."

"You are more capable than this. You deserve a job where you can lead and do the things you're interested in. You're more capable than any other person, you're even better than my brother."

"I wouldn't have put it like that and Wes is _really good_."

"You're way better than him. You could outdo him in a heartbeat on the finance market."

"Wes wouldn't make a mistake like I did."

"But you learned from it. You know better now and you're way more creative than Wes. It's you who came up with the project, not him. You could easily come up with a new one and it would become an even better one!" Soul leaned closer to her over the table. "You're so good. Don't let your skills go to waste and most importantly, don't let yourself be this unhappy because of those pricks you could easily outdo."

A smile spread on her face, a blush appeared on her cheeks and she evaded his gaze in favour of staring down at the water in her wine glass. "You're too kind."

"I only speak the truth." For the first time, he went on his instinct and reached out to her and placed his hand over hers. "You're so much better than being some boss's protégé. You know it yourself."

She gazed first at his hand before her gaze met his. Her hand stayed under his thankfully. "Yeah…" she breathed.

"I know Wes would be more than happy to take you back. He has missed you too. He misses having someone to work together with and there will never be anyone a partner as good as you."

"What would I be if I came crawling back to him asking for my job back?"

"Human," he whispered back, a crooked smile spreading on his face. "People change their mind. There's nothing wrong in changing your mind."

"You're right," she spoke as she pulled her hand away from his and she leaned back in her seat. "I don't know, maybe I should ask him if I could have my job back. Do you really think he would take me back?"

"Within a heartbeat."

"I'll think about it." She rested her chin on her hand. "Tell me more about you. I see you've a wardrobe change."

Soul chuckled. After waking up and getting dressed in suits had gotten to him eventually. It was quite a lot of work and it was a drag having the tie strangle him on a daily basis. A pair of jeans and a dress shirt was a good fit for him. Still professional but relaxed. And he got to admit, there was something with leather jackets. When he passed the store and saw the brown leather jacket in the window, there was no way he could leave without it. Wes had said he looked like a washed up freelance journalist, but he had liked the look. He felt good in his clothes and natural features, maybe even better than before.

"Yeah, wearing suits on a daily basis got a little bit too much." He raised his arms as if to strike a cool pose. "What do you think? Do I still look good?"

A blush dusted on her cheeks, her gaze lowered for a moment as a smile played on her lips. "I really did like your suits, but this look really does feel more like you. I like it." She cleared her throat and she straightened her back. "So how's life outside of school?"

"Good I guess. I work part-time as a reception at a hotel when I'm not studying. I go to the gym on a regular basis and I met with Black*Star there."

Her eyes widened in shock. "You know Black*Star?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he's quite a lot, but he's cool. We're hanging once in a while."

"I didn't know that…" she confessed.

Soul chuckled. "I guess he wants to keep me for himself."

She giggled softly. "So selfish of him."

His heart fluttered at her light giggle. How he had missed it. A smile spread on his face as he rested his chin on his hand, interestingly watching her. "I also go to a psychologist once a week to talk through my issues."

"I'm so proud of you!" Her eyes fluttered before she gushed in joy.

"Yeah I'm too― like, I'm happy I finally got my ass in gear to go to someone and take care of all the mental issues I have," he confessed. "You were right all along. I should've taken those pills and taken care of myself."

"You saw the truth eventually." She smiled toward him, eyes glistering like emeralds. "It's better late than never, right?"

"Yeah, it is."

"So how are you doing in therapy?" she asked without a shred of judgement, simply curiosity.

"Great. I feel like I've finally found the base of who I am and now we're just talking about the fine details."

"It's incredible. I'm so happy for you. You finally did what you wanted to do."

He did and he was proud of it. It was exactly what he needed and he was proud of how far he had come in the year she was absent, but there was a hinder on his path he was quite quizzical about. "I did, but can I ask you something?

She tilted her head at the sudden shift in the air. "Ask away."

"Did you know about my parents disowning me?"

Slowly she nodded. "I did."

His heart wrenched in his chest, but he guessed he had always known, but it hurt when it was _her_ who kept it hidden from him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to, I was so close at telling you multiple times, but I couldn't do that to you." Her hands balled and her knuckles went pale. "Sometimes you would wake up crying because of what they did to you. The first holidays were a nightmare. You were so happy when you got to see them again and… I couldn't break your heart like that."

"You promised me you wouldn't keep any secrets between us."

"I know. I know what I did was wrong but… I just couldn't do that to you. I couldn't tell you and rip you away from your parents when you were so happy with them. You can be mad and hate me all you want. I know what I did was wrong and I'm ready to bear it."

"There is no need for that," he spoke. "It hurts knowing you kept it a secret from me, but I know you did it with good intentions. For all I know, I think it might've been better for you to keep it a secret, I don't know. If I had been in your situation, I'm not even sure if I would've been as strong as you."

"I'm not saying it wasn't difficult." She offered him a smile. "It was really hard, especially in the beginning when your mother was at my neck, but I knew it was the best thing for you so it helped me keep my lips sealed."

"Was that the reason you and my mom's relationship was rocky?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"I see…"

"Yeah…" she breathed. "But I want you to know your mother and I did straighten everything out in the end."

"Thank you for doing it."

It was exactly like he thought. She did it all for him. Not even a single move she did was selfish, every move she made was with him in mind. Wasn't that the greatest gift he could've ever gotten from her? No. The greatest gift and blessing in his life was having her as a friend and a partner. There would never be a woman as amazing like her and as selfless like her. Never.

"I have missed you," he whispered.

"I've missed you too," she breathed out.

"Is there…" he braced himself, inhaling deeply. "Is there a new Mr. Albarn in your life?"

A loaded paus hung between them. Her eyes slightly wider as she gazed at him. "… no."

A weight as heavy as trucks were lifted from his shoulders, allowing him to finally breathe knowing there was no new special person in her life. "Is there a chance… you know… that we could possibly see each other again… perhaps like something more than friends?"

Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw hung open before her face twisted in hurt. "No," she said sternly as the chair shrieked loudly the moment she got up. "No. You're not allowed to do this to me!"

"Maka, wait." He launched himself after her, following her to the hall. "Please, just hear me out―"

"No! You had your chance when we were married. We're _divorced!_ " she yelled at the top of her lungs, tears chocking her voice.

"Just let me explain," he said, grabbing her wrist. She came to a stop, her back stayed fixed toward him. "I was such a dickhead to you. I was the worst to you, but just, hear me out. The time we spent together I didn't know who I was and I was pulled between you and my parents like crazy. I was supposed to love you and I was supposed to fall in line and I _couldn't_ do that. The day of the dinner party, I was so confused of what I was feeling, I was so _scared_. I-I didn't know how to handle it and the only thing I felt like I could do was run away from you."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" she hissed, tears in her voice. "No secrets were supposed to be between us, remember?"

"I broke it too. I should've told you, but I was so scared of what I was feeling. That night I shouldn't have turned to Anya, I should've told you how I was feeling, but instead I was a coward and ran away." He bit his lower lip as tears trickled down his face. "After when you told me you would file for a divorce, I tried to go after you, but I had a panic attack and passed out and when I woke up, you were already gone. I didn't get up from my bed or ate anything for days and I didn't know why I was so paralyzed by your absence. But at the same time as I hate the absence of you, it also helped me. It gave me space to clear my head and learn who I am. My time away from you, my parents and my brother, it helped me discover who I am and without the divorce, I would've never figured out I love you. I would've still been stuck in my identity crisis, complied to the sensation of how _good_ you felt without knowing why. It's thanks to that divorce I can stand in front of you saying, I know who I am. I know what I want, and I certainly know I love you and what to spend the rest of my life with _you_."

Her breath hitched and she sobbed. Hearing her crying because of him absolutely tore his heart apart.

"I love you so much. I've tried to get a hold of you for so many months to tell you how much I love you and I want to be with _you_." He sobbed as tears rolled down his jaw and dripped from his chin. His hand tightened on her wrist. "I've never felt this way for anyone else in my life and it's _terrifying_ how madly in love I am with you. I always wear the clock you gave me to always have a little something of _you_ with me and I always look at the vows and the pictures every time I go to bed and wake up in the morning. I can't picture sharing my life with anyone but _you_."

The wind was knocked out of him the moment Maka whirled around and crashed into his chest, enveloping her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. "I love you too," she whimpered. "Don't you dare leave me again."

"Never." He buried his face in her hair, hands digging into her tiny waist, clinging onto her for dear life. "Through rich and poor and all the challenges we face, we will always find our way back to each other, right?" he quoted his vows he made for her.

She bawled her eyes out, clinging onto him for dear life as his body trembled with every tear and sob.

Never again would they part.

Never.


	14. Chapter 14

_Epilogue_

Soul breathed heavily as he pumped his arms, messenger bag thrown over his shoulder as he ran as quickly as he could. Wind blowing through his hair as the strong Nevada sun gazed down upon him.

He was late. He was _really_ late.

He cringed the moment he saw their car pulled up outside of the townhouse Maka and he had bought a couple of days ago. Quickly he crossed the road, ran up the driveway and up the stairs to the quirky blue door.

"I'm home!" Soul called, breathing heavily as he supported himself on the doorframe, resting his hand on his knee.

"Finally!" Maka called from within their new home. "I started thinking you had left me to do all the work."

Soul followed her voice until he found her within their kitchen unpacking utensils and placing them in the upper drawer. He went up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind and he kissed her cheek.

"Sorry. It took longer than I thought fixing the kid's grades," he whispered into her ear as his embrace tightened.

"It's okay." She patted his hand and leaned into his touch. "Is everything ready for the kid's graduation?"

He nodded against her head, nuzzling his face into her neck. "Yeah," he breathed. "You'll come and watch me right?"

"I wouldn't miss your first ever graduation as a teacher." Her hand climbed up and cupped his cheek, holding his face close to her neck as his lips feathered over her sensitive neck. "Are the kids excited?"

"Very." He planted a kiss on her neck. "I hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone."

"A little," she admitted. "Black*Star swung by and he helped me carry some of the things inside."

Soul raised his eyebrow. "He did?"

"Yes, Tsubaki and Black*Star took a walk to check out the house and they helped carry some things inside."

"Could Tsubaki even carry anything with her pregnant belly?" he asked.

"Correction, Black*Star carried everything while I gave Tsubaki a little tour of our home." She turned around in his arms, hands climbing up his chest until she entwined her fingers in his wild white hair. "Black*Star was very pleased with the house and he couldn't wait till we would spend Christmas at our place."

Soul chuckled as he let his thumb caress her spine. "Sounds like him."

"And Tsubaki can't wait until our kids can play together in the backyard. I already told her your plans of building a swing in the oak tree for them."

This was his life.

Everything changed the night he ran into Maka. They held each other the whole night until Wes arrived back home from his date. The moment the front door clicked shut, Maka had ripped away from his arms in favour of taking swings at his brother. Even though her phone number changed and she moved, her email address never changed. She cursed him for not giving it to him so he could reach out to her sooner. It was never Wes's duty to police them, what they had was between them and them alone. Nobody else was to get involved and play gatekeeper. The next person in line was Black*Star and he got a (well-deserved) punch that had Tsubaki spluttering in worry.

Once Maka got it out of the system, they never parted. The first month they always had lunch and dinner together and took turns sleeping at each other's places every night. They did it until Soul decided to move in with her which she had no objections to. They loved each other dearly and nothing would stop them anymore.

Well, obstacles appeared.

He loved her dearly, oh death knew there wouldn't be another woman he loved as much as he loved her, but they still had their problems.

His memories. They weren't coming back. He cared and loved her so much, but he had lost seven years of his memory. What they had was completely new to him, but to her, it was just a continuation of what they had. It had bugged him in more ways than he thought it would. He wasn't the Soul she remembered before the accident and he wasn't the unstable mess after the accident, he was _him_. A new Soul. As much as he wanted her love, he wanted her to love _him_. To not generalize him from the man he was, but to accept and love him for the man he had become.

He knew she couldn't help but do it in situations. She couldn't help the fact she didn't hurt her head and he did. There were just some things she did without thinking like when she made them grilled sandwiches and she had given him mustard on his when he _hated_ mustard. It was those small details that reminded him how lucky she was for keeping her memories, to remember every little detail about him even though everything didn't apply to him anymore. It was difficult for her too. To relearn everything about him and some things just got tangled together and mistakes happened, he got that, but it still hurt.

But the hardest obstacle for them to climb was the memory gap. For her, they had been together for so long and she was more than ready to pick up where they left off before the accident. She wanted to get married again and have kids, but to him, they had only known each other for a little over a half year before they divorced. He wanted to take it a little easy and get comfortable in their relationship before they took those steps. Don't get him wrong, he wanted kids and marriage, but their relationship was completely new to him. He loved and cared for her to the moon and back and he knew they would stay together forever. It shouldn't be a problem for him to jump into the baby-making and get hitched, but it was. All he wanted was some time with just them. Alone. Enjoying each other's company and finding their way to a healthy relationship before they complicated it with children.

In his mind even though he knew he was almost thirty, but in his heart it still felt like he was somewhat in his early twenties. He didn't remember living the life with Maka and it certainly didn't help him when he was around people in their twenties. He felt like he belonged with them, but at the same time not. He knew he should've felt so old hanging around them and going to college and all that, but he _wasn't_. He had barely lived and he was thrown into this committed relationship, don't get him wrong, he _wanted it_. He didn't complain about being with Maka, he just wished he had his memories of them together so… so it would be easier taking those big steps back into their relationship. He wanted to make her happy and she wanted kids so badly.

It was a hard issue to resolve. Maka didn't want to wait much longer, she was ready and she wanted kids so badly with him, but he wasn't ready just yet. It was an issue that had them questioning even if they loved each other so much, but if being together meant someone had to abandon their happiness, was it worth it? Breaking up was out of the question. Not after all they had gone through. They weren't going to walk away from each other because of it. They loved each other and they were ready to fight for what they had.

So they came to a compromise.

Maka agreed to the fact he should feel ready when they started creating a family and he acknowledged the fact she wanted to take their relationship further. They got married and this time, they had a wedding ceremony in front of their family and friends. In exchange, Maka would give him time. The date was set, they would start creating their family the summer after his first year as a teacher so he could get his education and get some experience within his field and if everything went according to plan, he would manage to teach one more year during her pregnancy.

The time had come. They were moving into their home where they would raise their children and graduation was right around the corner, leaving them plenty of time to make the kid and get settled in their new home.

Even though she had been given more time than he thought she would ever give him, he was still so nervous. What if he wasn't ready to become a father? What if he messed everything up? Could he even be a good father to their kids? The job would fall on his shoulders since Maka brought in more money and his job was so flexible he could teach kids how to play the piano within their own home. What if he couldn't do it?

He was still doubting himself.

He couldn't doubt himself now when the time had arrived. He wanted kids. Wanted them with _Maka_. But he was still so nerve-wrenchingly worried.

She beamed at him, rising on her toes and kissed his nose. "Come on, we've still boxes to carry inside from this load."

A shaky smile grew on his face. "Right."

They parted and they went outside of their home. The car was still to his surprise, quite full. She must've managed to carry a whole car full of boxes before this one considering Black*Star had helped him out carry a few of them inside. They carried the boxes inside of their new home, unloading them in the big open space of the living room. If everything went according to plan, they would be ready to start moving their furniture to their home tomorrow so they could spend their first night in the house.

Which would mean, their first night starting to make the baby.

Soul returned to the car and grabbed the bigger one of the last two boxes in the car.

"No!" Maka exclaimed. "That's my box!"

Soul raised his eyebrow. "You're seriously going to call dibs on boxes?"

"Yes. It contained my book."

Soul chuckled and handed over the box to her. "Alright. Carry it."

He grabbed the last box out of the car and closed the door with his hip. They both headed side by side inside of their townhouse with the quirky blue door he had told her he wanted.

She suddenly bumped her hip against his, gaining his attention. "You can carry the box inside of our bedroom."

He couldn't help but to smile at her. As great as a boss like ever. "Alright, alright." He headed passed the open area of the living room and the kitchen, reaching the door to their room. Cautiously he squeezed the box under his arm and he opened the door. His jaw fell open when he laid his eyes on a king-sized bed neatly decorated with fluffy pillows and a blanket thrown over the bed. Rose petals were scattered over the surface and battery lit candles were spread throughout the room on the window sill and the floor.

He put the box down and Maka's arms wrapped around his waist and she planted a kiss on his shoulder. "You like it?"

"I-I do," he stuttered, feeling the nervousness rise in his body. "But I thought we were going to move the furniture here tomorrow."

"I made some changes so we could spend the night today instead," she almost purred into his ear as her hands started to wander.

Soul gulped, the pieces finally falling into place. "That's why Black*Star and Tsubaki were here, right? You and him carried the bed inside."

"Caught me." Her hands slowly started pulling his dress shirt out from his pants and under it her fingers ran over his stomach, a finger trailing his happy trail downward.

"U-uh," he gulped. "Do we even have food here?"

"Tsubaki brought some with her."

"Do we have the essentials?"

"They're somewhere in the boxes."

Her hands slowly pulled out from his shirt the moment it was going to wiggle under his waistline and she rounded him. Face completely taken with desire and she slowly started to pop every button on his shirt, exposing the tattoo he got of his vows to forever remember his love toward her. "Are you nervous?" she asked.

He nodded. "I'm…" he gulped, grabbing her wrists to stop her from advancing. "I'm scared."

"Me too…" she entwined their fingers together and she pressed her body toward him. "But we will be okay."

He shivered when her lips started to feather over his neck. "No, Maka, can we just… talk?"

She pulled away from him, eyes fluttering. "Okay?" She pulled him toward their bed and they took a seat on the edge of it.

"I'm…" he started, taking a deep breath. "I'm really nervous about this."

"I know it is. I am too."

Soul shook his head. "It's not just nervousness."

"Soul…" Maka breathed. "Is this about you not being ready?"

"… maybe," he admitted.

"You've had two years to get ready for this." She squeezed his hand.

"I know and I'm really grateful for it, believe me I am. I'm more ready for kids now then I was then. I really want kids with you, it's just…" he trailed off.

"The memories." She filled in.

He nodded. "I just wish I remembered our time together…"

"It's okay." She leaned toward him, pressing her lips to his forehead.

"No, it's not. You're so ready to have kids and even now when you gave me so much time to get used to this, I'm still like this. I want to give you those kids but…"

"Hey…" she softly spoke, cupping his cheek. "It is okay." A smile started to play on her face. "Because I've a gift to you."

He raised his eyebrow. "A gift?"

"Yeah." She pulled away and got the box he had placed on the floor. She returned to her seat beside him and handed him the box. "Happy 30th birthday."

"But my birthday isn't in two weeks."

"Considering I've tried to give you this gift for the last year but it wasn't quite ready, I think we can bend the rules slightly."

He chuckled and he opened the brown moving box, only to find all of her lingerie and a wrapped gift. "Really? Your lingerie, you shouldn't have."

"That is for later." She grinned. "I might've picked out an outfit for you to wear when we start, so you will have to do the same."

He couldn't help but to laugh. "Let me guess, you want me to wear a suit."

"Yes." She purred as her arm snaked around his waist. "It's hanging in the closet."

He had no clue how she managed to keep her hands off him when he was wearing his suits on a daily basis. In a moment of intimacy, she had whispered how much she enjoyed seeing him in a suit and how the trousers had perfectly hugged his ass and the blazer had enhanced his broad shoulders. His wife certainly turned into a tigress ready to pounce the moment she laid her eyes on him in a suit. If there ever was a moment he wanted to have some alone time with her, all he needed to do was put on a suit.

"Open up the gift, I think you'll like it."

"Oh boy, what did you come up with this time?" He grinned as he pulled up the gift, placing the box on the ground. It was quite heavy. And dense too. It was quite movable, but at the same time stiff. He unwrapped the gift and found two books thicker than dictionaries on his lap.

"I've been working on this gift for the last two years," she spoke as she grabbed the top book marked with a golden one, opening it to reveal a picture of them, but it wasn't a picture he remembered. He certainly looked much younger in the photo. It had to be taken years before the accident. In the picture, they were both beaming at the camera. "I knew you wanted your memories back so badly, and I want you to remember them too. Since I can't use some medical magic and just give your memories back, I figured I would write it all down for you."

His throat knotted as he changed page. "You wrote it all down?" he asked.

She nodded. "It was a lot larger project than I thought it would be. I started by collecting all the photos of us and wrote down everything I could remember revolving around them, but then Wes, Black*Star and Tsubaki joined in with pictures of their own they had of you and wrote down what happened. I then reached out to some old classmates of yours and asked them for pictures and stories and well, here it is. It's all the memories of your life you forgot I could collect."

He bit his lower lip as he flipped the page, seeing the text for the picture beginning.

"I know some memories could've been told better and I had to edit Black*Star's stories quite a bit since he either exaggerated it or blatantly lied."

Tears blurred his eyes and he quickly wiped them away before it could break free. "Thank you," he whispered. He released the page and it fluttered shut. He threw his arms around her neck, burying his face in her hair. "Thank you so much. I couldn't have ask for a better gift than this."

There truly wasn't a better gift than this, her taking the time to collect as many of his fractured memories and trying to piece them together for him to learn about again. No one else than her would've gone to this length and done such a beautiful thing for him. This truly was the ultimate gift she could've given him.

"How long did this even take you?"

"Around two years," she answered as she rubbed his back comfortingly. "I wrote as much as I could when I was either at work or when you were studying. It was really difficult trying to keep it a secret from you."

A smile spread on his face as he pulled away, wiping his tears away. "You're the best. Thank you. You couldn't have given me a better gift than this."

"You're welcome." She squeezed his side as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I hope this gift is of any help to you."

"It is."

It truly was. Before when anybody would bring up a nostalgic memory, all he could say was he didn't remember and be excluded from the conversation unwillingly. Now with the help of her gift, he still couldn't say he remembered, but he could say he _knew_. He could still be a part of the conversation. He could still _live_ and not be chained down anymore by the tragic motorcycle accident years ago. Now he could truly move on.

"You've no clue how much this means to me," he sobbed against her neck. "This means the world to me. There is no better gift you could've given me."

"I'm glad." Her grip on him tightened, hand rubbing up and down his back. "We don't have to start today if you don't want to. We could wait a couple of weeks more so you can read through the book and settle down in it."

He shook his head, pulling away slightly. "No. I don't need to wait anymore." He grinned wide toward her, his hand moving to one of the books on his lap and rested it on one of the blue binders. "With this gift, I don't have to experience everything head on anymore. I can learn about all the things we shared together and… we will still have time for ourselves during the pregnancy."

All the nervousness he had felt going inside of the bedroom was gone. The simple gift of his memories in the shape of those two books was truly enough for him. He wanted kids. Wanted them with Maka. There was no need to wait anymore. All he wanted was to fulfil their shared dream of a family.

"Let's start tonight. Let's start a family."

"Yeah…" she smiled wide toward him and tears glimmering in her own eyes. "Let's do it."

Soul leaned in toward her and they met halfway.

They had faced obstacles any normal couple wouldn't have to endure. They faced it and they found their way back to each other. Whatever life threw at them, he knew they would be okay as long as they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic of mine! It was a blast writing Soul's journey as these two cuties got back together! It was never my intentions of this fic being as long as it became, but I hope you all enjoyed reading it anyway! I want to thank the Resbang mods for arranging this awesome event year after year. I want to thank my awesome partner in crime Chaoticlivi for being a super cool partner and producing such awesome art! Go and check out her art because it's awesome!
> 
> Thank you all for finish reading this piece of mine!


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